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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm curious to know what your initial thoughts would be if this happened to you. It happened this morning to me, & about 30 different things went through my at the same moment and so I don't know what to actually think about it. I'll tell you what those things are, but first I want to know what your reaction would be in the same scenario. Kind of a reality check for me in a way.

So I was walking to my car this morning to take my son to school. We live in an apartment complex and park where it's available, so sometimes you need to pack a lunch to get there. Anyhoo, I got to my car and taped to the driver's side window was a rose and a handwritten post-it note. The note read (exactly):

I see u sometimes on the street,
sometimes in the dreams but
wheneva I see, feel like
walking up to you n tell u that
I like you n ask you wud
like to b friends!
phone # email address​

A little bit of background about me only to help orient this situation with me. Or something like that.

I'm in my early 30s. Single mom of a 15 year old son. I haven't been in a relationship since I broke off an engagement 5 years ago. Mostly this is to mention how awkward & unfamiliar this type of thing is to me and why I'm looking for my dear, perceptive INFJ's feedback. I'm not against meeting someone (quite the contrary), but does this sound like a genuine interest or will I be looking to get a restraining order in a few weeks. :tongue:
 

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Could it be the person had the wrong car, thinking that the model you drove happened to be another person's that they were looking for?

It happened to me once- when someone placed bird seeds on the roof of my car with a little dove and a rose.. that was so random, but I think maybe it could be for someone else?

If not, then I'd be careful.:unsure:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·

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Proceed with caution

Bright Laughter,

This sounds dangerous! Or at least take precautions. Maybe it is from someone who doesn't communicate well. But clearly this is not a way to communicate with a lady. Try to take a different route home, etc. Could this be someone you know? Has anyone in your neighbourhood seen or heard of anyone who likes you? Or who has been observing you? Sorry I live in a Big City, so I'm getting into danger / prevention mode!!!!

What do you think this is about? You may know better. Perhaps this person is trying to be 'cute' with a note. But it's not high school anymore, and your car is not a 'locker' to post a note on! Crazy, crazy, guys these days. Or it could just be a joke or accidental, as was mentioned here by others. I have to think more, but my instinct says 'not good'.

Hot Sig picture btw...Perhaps I am inspired for Halloween! [Kidding] I don't celebrate that :)
 

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My first reaction to such things is to start physically looking around me... The reason is because people will often sit and "observe" the place they leave such things to try to gain visual cues about how face-to-face interaction would be received.

You have a decision to make! You either believe this person is:

1) Sincerely interested, harmless, shy, and very romantic

or

2) Stalking you

I have no advice to give you except to say that I have been stalked before and this was not the kind of prelude behavior to stalking. If you suspect you are being stalked then you should report it immediately, document every incident of sighting or contact, and keep a phone on you at all times with at least one number plugged into speed dial... Someone who will almost certainly answer or check their voice mail on an extraordinarily regular basis. If this doesn't set off your stalking alarms, nothing more appears on the car and no one ever approaches you, then you have a really cool story to tell! :crazy:

Seriously, though, be safe! We live in a messed up world!!!! We are idealists living in a world of people who don't share our ideals and we are significantly outnumbered so please, please, please if you get any creeper factor out of this at all over the next few days be on your guard. Ask your son, too, to be on the look out for strange men who approach him to ask him questions about you. Discuss the situation with him because he needs to be aware that there is someone who knows your car and has left you a message. Don't necessarily hit the panic button, but at all times be SAFE!

I wish you the best, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
 

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... I'll tell you what those things are, but first I want to know what your reaction would be in the same scenario. Kind of a reality check for me in a way.

So I was walking to my car this morning to take my son to school. We live in an apartment complex and park where it's available, so sometimes you need to pack a lunch to get there. Anyhoo, I got to my car and taped to the driver's side window was a rose and a handwritten post-it note. The note read (exactly):
I'd write a note and stick it to my car & then see if I can get a few more notes out of him. There is not much information to go by with in one note. Just dropping it seems boring. At the same time I really don't like that bad grammar, fake or not fake, it is just kind of a turnoff, so I'd try to lure out some more information before deciding whether to terminate this 'correspondence'.
 

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So if it was well written then it'd make things less sketchy? Was the handwriting neat or messy?

Well, whoever it is knows your car and roughly where you live.
 

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Seems romantic, but the fact that it's poorly written would set off my alarms.

I'm a stalkerish type who would do something like that, so I assume a guy who would do it might be somewhat similar to me. The fact that he doesn't care about his grammar would indicate that he definitely isn't like me, though, and would turn me off even if he turned out to be really sweet.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thank you guys so much for your input! I actually feel better about how I feel.

Here were my initial thoughts all at once:

* I hope this isn't the same guy that lives in this complex that use to date a friend of mine.
* Someone has been watching me enough to know which car was mine?!
* What the hell is wrong with his spelling, is he in grade school?
* It does say be a friend, not date. Maybe he was shy, but in order to not appear stalkerish softened it by saying "friend".
* Except it also says he sees me in his dreams. That also creeps me out.
* This was obviously here overnight. I didn't get home until 9:30pm....WTF?
* I don't think I've ever had a secret admirer, maybe this is deemed normal or ok?
* He must live in my complex to have seen me walking around.
* If I liked someone and couldn't work up the courage to say hi, would I do something like this?
* I'm always dating the wrong guy, this has never happened, so maybe this is moving away from jerk guys?
* I'm still not liking the spelling, he obviously texts a LOT.
* I bet he's way younger. Younger generation seems more comfortable using the shortcut words.
* A lot of my friends my age have been mentioning younger guys hitting on them lately.
* I can't get past the spelling. It's bugging me. Am I being too harsh & judgy over something so "minor"?

So, I don't feel I'm in danger. But now I don't feel like such a jerk because the first thing that's repelling me is the spelling. I know in the big scheme of things it's minor. However, I think my subconscious may be picking on it to throw up its own red flags since I have huge boundary issues and excuse all manner of inappropriate behavior. I'm working overtime on learning boundaries, etc.

So this was a HUGE help to me in validating the small nagging thing in my brain that I can easily ignore (but I don't want to do that anymore).
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Could it be the person had the wrong car, thinking that the model you drove happened to be another person's that they were looking for?

It happened to me once- when someone placed bird seeds on the roof of my car with a little dove and a rose.. that was so random, but I think maybe it could be for someone else?

If not, then I'd be careful.:unsure:
This is entirely possible. I do drive a car that is relatively common to the area, but only one other similar to it in the complex. But good point, I can't rule that out.
 

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seems like a straight hoodrat to me. maybe it's antoine dodson's bed intruder.
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Bright Laughter,

This sounds dangerous! Or at least take precautions. Maybe it is from someone who doesn't communicate well. But clearly this is not a way to communicate with a lady. Try to take a different route home, etc. Could this be someone you know? Has anyone in your neighbourhood seen or heard of anyone who likes you? Or who has been observing you? Sorry I live in a Big City, so I'm getting into danger / prevention mode!!!!

What do you think this is about? You may know better. Perhaps this person is trying to be 'cute' with a note. But it's not high school anymore, and your car is not a 'locker' to post a note on! Crazy, crazy, guys these days. Or it could just be a joke or accidental, as was mentioned here by others. I have to think more, but my instinct says 'not good'.

Hot Sig picture btw...Perhaps I am inspired for Halloween! [Kidding] I don't celebrate that :)
No, it's definitely not someone I know. I'm not typically a "get to know your neighbor" kind of person. While I live in a metropolis, we are in newer developments and so more out towards some horse pastures and have some privacy. Meaning, whoever it is, they live in my apartment complex. :dry: Good news, I think maybe it either was a wrong vehicle or just being cute.

But yeah, not in highschool anymore. And I needed a reminder that this isn't how you talk to a lady.

Thanks!
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Seriously, though, be safe! We live in a messed up world!!!! We are idealists living in a world of people who don't share our ideals and we are significantly outnumbered so please, please, please if you get any creeper factor out of this at all over the next few days be on your guard. Ask your son, too, to be on the look out for strange men who approach him to ask him questions about you. Discuss the situation with him because he needs to be aware that there is someone who knows your car and has left you a message. Don't necessarily hit the panic button, but at all times be SAFE!

I wish you the best, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
Definitely will keep a look out. Like I mentioned in another reply, I *feel* safe. But I'm definitely on alert when I go out now. My son is approaching 5'10" now and, even though we have our differences, he'll go ALL ninja on anything threatening or even looking suspicious when it comes it his family. He has much healthier boundaries with others than me.

I seriously could have used all of your guys input in all of my previous interactions when it comes to me and guys. I'm a straight up retard when it comes to what I should and shouldn't allow a guy to get away with.
 

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gosh that is a bit creepy. i mean it 'sounds' nice.....but i think if that person was worth getting to know they would approach you first and introduce themselves. it sounds very cowardly. be careful! it just smacks of stalker!!!

good luck with it all.
 
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