[NekoNinja]

Lately since ive started college I feel like ive been acting more like and ESFP than ISFP. I have been very needy of ppl and cant seem to stand to be alone or bored anymore. Its really strange because up till now I really havnt been in very much contact with ppl besides my small group of friends and didnt care to be with ppl like 24/7. I was very much an ISFP.

Idk. Maybe its just that I'm lonely, or maybe that Im just living for the moment - since I really didnt get to before. Also it could be that I was very depressed before I left home and I like to think that my sudden outgoing nature may be just a reaction to that. I want to think that it may just be a phase and that it will ware off sometime... but its been almost 2 months now. Plus I go to an art school so the ppl here are very much all very similar. Its not like in high school where you got your different cliques. everone is typically very nice and like-minded which makes socializing and meeting new ppl very easy. I still have my little group of friends of course - of which i do all my outgoing activities with.

I just find it all very strange. Like how I havnt been at my apt. in like a week because ive been staying at others' houses. or how Ive recently become more physically close to my new friends than I normally am...

So what do you guys think? Any similar experiences? Any ideas of whats going on?

 

[Staryu]

honestly ive been questioning my so-called introversion too. i think the main points are 1) do u rehearse things in ur head or do u blurt them out? 2) do u talk more than u listen or listen more than talk? 3) do u feel energized after a social event/ adrenaline inducing experience, or do u feel fatigued?
honestly, i don't know what i am anymore..except that i may be a messed-up E with SAD.

 

[ray1981]

I don´t know either but I hope something like that happens to me actually. I was in a similar situation to you when I was in the military, I didn´t have a large group of friends but the ones I did have I hung out with all the time. I was also less depressed and anxious during that time since I was around people that had ambition and wanted to do things with their lives which rubbed off on me, I know I´m much more outgoing when I feel good. I think I need to find myself in more of these types of situations.

 

[Outcode]

I'm going through the same thing kind of. I started college about a week ago away from most of my close friends. A few of my friends go here, maybe two or three but we don't hang out all the time and I've been alright with it. I didn't mind being alone at first but towards the end of my first week here I've decided that I have had enough of being alone and decided to go out and talk to people/make friends. I actually went up to a girl and asked if she wanted to be friends, it was probably the most direct and forward thing I've done in my life lol. I got her number but I'm not exactly sure what to do now... Forcing myself to talk to strangers makes me nervous during the moment but after I've done it, it makes me feel better because I've always been shy. i.e. Change is good sometimes. roud:

 

[Gwenspirit]

I became an Extrovert in college --or so I thought. I hung out with Extrovert friends and said my thoughts out loud and talked a lot and went to all the parties.

It was fun! I got to see/live how the other side lived.

But as soon as I was done with college, I reverted back to Introversion. And I realized even in college I was more reserved than the real Extroverts.

Introversion is the natural me when other people aren't an influence.

 

[danicx]

My ISFP bff did exactly the same thing when she went to college. I think it's a freedom thing maybe? Like you're way less bound by rules, monotony, you're off on your own encouraged to have fun. (Yeah I know college isn't like that to everyone.) Or maybe as you get older you're becoming more comfortable with yourself/life. Just enjoy it! As for your introversion ... well, think, at the end of the day is the extroverted lifestyle truly what you live and breathe and love, or is it just an expression of one side of you that you're discovering? Do you - ultimately - imagine yourself being happy just with your very closest friends, or would you need the large social contact to be happy?

I'm writing those questions thinking of the way my friend is. She's absolutely an ISFP but many people who don't know her well might think she's an extrovert.

 

[stephante]

I became an Extrovert in college --or so I thought. I hung out with Extravert friends and said my thoughts out loud and talked a lot and went to all the parties.

It was fun! I got to see/live how the other side lived.

But as soon as I was done with college, I reverted back to Introversion. And I realized even in college I was more reserved than the real Extroverts.

Introversion is the natural me when other people aren't an influence.

I think this is the exact comment I was going to reply with! Haha. I definitely went a bit Extrovert during college--- lots of parties, hours on end at the coffee shop with friends.

Then somewhere in there I started dating a pronounced INTJ-- now my husband. He's my best friend, so take THAT typology! Parties were always more fun for me than for him. I thought it was because I was an E and he was an I. Well, I think it's more the ISFP affinity for people and the INTJ's lack thereof.

(It's funny- my husband definitely has his short list of people he actually likes, but for some reason, everyone LOVES him.)

Now, I graduated with my first degree a year and a half ago, got married.... and now I can so obviously see I never really was an E. I just pretended to be for a while. I look at my younger sister and a few other OBVIOUS Extraverts and am amazed that I ever thought of myself as one.

 

[RyRyMini]

If you're comfortable staying with your friends for long periods of time, I think it's awesome. I wish I were comfortable enough / invited to do those sort of things. You're kind of living out my ideal now, so while I'm quite envious, if you're happy I'm totally happy for you.

I don't think it means your type has changed or anything like that, I think it's just a new dimension of yourself you've discovered that you might not have recognized before.

 

[NekoNinja]

thanks everyone
I think Ive calmed down some now.

If you're comfortable staying with your friends for long periods of time, I think it's awesome. I wish I were comfortable enough / invited to do those sort of things. You're kind of living out my ideal now, so while I'm quite envious, if you're happy I'm totally happy for you.

I don't think it means your type has changed or anything like that, I think it's just a new dimension of yourself you've discovered that you might not have recognized before.

dont worry im typically not invited to these thing either. XD I just go to stuff uninvited, or somehow manage to already be there. (We party at one of my friends places a lot. And I stay over there all the time so even though I'm not ever really invited Im usually already there.)

Yeah I can be right there with a group of friends and they will all go somewhere not asking me if I want to go. Its like for some reason they assume I dont want to go... which doesnt make any sense because I am up for going about anywhere and very often invite myself places - (for obvious reasons)


I feel so invisible sometimes...

 

[RyRyMini]

Yeah I can be right there with a group of friends and they will all go somewhere not asking me if I want to go. Its like for some reason they assume I dont want to go... which doesnt make any sense because I am up for going about anywhere and very often invite myself places - (for obvious reasons)

The bolded part happens to me all the time. I can't really pinpoint why but I think I sometimes project some sort of negative/sarcastic energy that kind of makes me seem like I'm above everyone. I'm totally kidding with it of course, but people don't always see that. I think they think I think I'm too good for whatever they want to do, which is totally false. Do you have any insight on why you think this happens to us?

 

[NekoNinja]

The bolded part happens to me all the time. I can't really pinpoint why but I think I sometimes project some sort of negative/sarcastic energy that kind of makes me seem like I'm above everyone. I'm totally kidding with it of course, but people don't always see that. I think they think I think I'm too good for whatever they want to do, which is totally false. Do you have any insight on why you think this happens to us?

I honestly have no idea. The only thing i can ever come up with is that they dont like me that much... and then i cant figure out why they dont like me. maybe you are right. maybe we just sometimes put out the wrong energy... idk. Its not like this with everyone though. I can hang out with most of my close friends perfectly fine. Its just a small group that seems to not want to be around me sometimes...

But then other times it seems like they are perfectly fine being around me... i dont know what the problem is...
It wouldnt bother me if there werent other ppl going with them while they dont invite me...

 

[Calisex]

I do feel invisible at times... it's just part of being an ISFP I think. My problem is when i'm not part of the conversation going on it becomes hard for me to go into it again, so then I start thinking a lot and I get drifted away into my own little world in my head. *sigh*

As for wanting to go to parties and go out more... you're in college bro, everyone gets like that. roud: I personally love it, meet so many girls, have crazy stories, living the life. I'm always going to the craziest house parties, and clubs... the crazier the better. Cherish it man, you're not going to be in that lifestyle all your life.

 

[dizzygirl]

Lately since ive started college I feel like ive been acting more like and ESFP than ISFP. I have been very needy of ppl and cant seem to stand to be alone or bored anymore. Its really strange because up till now I really havnt been in very much contact with ppl besides my small group of friends and didnt care to be with ppl like 24/7. I was very much an ISFP.

Idk. Maybe its just that I'm lonely, or maybe that Im just living for the moment - since I really didnt get to before. Also it could be that I was very depressed before I left home and I like to think that my sudden outgoing nature may be just a reaction to that. I want to think that it may just be a phase and that it will ware off sometime... but its been almost 2 months now. Plus I go to an art school so the ppl here are very much all very similar. Its not like in high school where you got your different cliques. everone is typically very nice and like-minded which makes socializing and meeting new ppl very easy. I still have my little group of friends of course - of which i do all my outgoing activities with.

I just find it all very strange. Like how I havnt been at my apt. in like a week because ive been staying at others' houses. or how Ive recently become more physically close to my new friends than I normally am...

So what do you guys think? Any similar experiences? Any ideas of whats going on?

Well i have always been like this. I go out at least 4/5 times a week and i love being around my friends. often times i get together with a couple of friends of mine and sometimes(this doesnt happen frequently thank god) it's all 11 of us!!
I love hanging out wid 'em. There's like some i call when im feeling very blue and know that their company will alleviate my despair and then there are those who i go out wid that are good empathizers; the jokers; the one that needs to discuss; the nostalgic one; the one who doesn't mind silence...
so i'm well provided in the friends front. and i always take out my alone time too.

 

[uncreative_name]

I think college in general helps make introverts more extroverted. I suppose you can say regardless of college or not it's an age of change for people at this point in their lives. I think what you're experiencing is more than common among new college students. For me, it was learning how to balance both. I loved being around people all the time, but eventually I got a little burned out and learned how to sneak away for alone time now and again. It sounds like you're making the most of your time, which is something you won't regret later!

 

[XL Sweatshirt]

I've had a few periods in my life, once I started college, where I seemed much more ESFP like. I think part of it does have to do with the new atmosphere and new experience, and sort of living off of that high for a while. I'd say my extroverted phase lasted for over a year. Maybe even like two years. It eventually began to take it's toll on me though and I went back into seclusion.

Last summer, I went into another very extroverted phase for a few months. I've since been more balanced out on the introverted and extroverted scale... but have a natural tendency towards introversion. Like, I'll spend my entire day by myself and feel no need to be around people. Then suddenly around 11pm, I'll get itchy for human contact and go out to the bar for about an hour to see my friends, and be back home shortly after to be a recluse again. Or, I'll want to go to lunch with a friend and we may hang for an hour or two afterwards... but then the rest of the day becomes all about me and my alone time. It's as though I just need short bursts of human contact, but on a daily basis. I can't be a complete hermit anymore.

 

[Starflakes]

I've had a few periods in my life, once I started college, where I seemed much more ESFP like. I think part of it does have to do with the new atmosphere and new experience, and sort of living off of that high for a while. I'd say my extroverted phase lasted for over a year. Maybe even like two years. It eventually began to take it's toll on me though and I went back into seclusion.

Last summer, I went into another very extroverted phase for a few months. I've since been more balanced out on the introverted and extroverted scale... but have a natural tendency towards introversion. Like, I'll spend my entire day by myself and feel no need to be around people. Then suddenly around 11pm, I'll get itchy for human contact and go out to the bar for about an hour to see my friends, and be back home shortly after to be a recluse again. Or, I'll want to go to lunch with a friend and we may hang for an hour or two afterwards... but then the rest of the day becomes all about me and my alone time. It's as though I just need short bursts of human contact, but on a daily basis. I can't be a complete hermit anymore.

Omgsh! Me too! Short bursts of human contact but on a daily basis.

Well, that's when I'm not in "dissappear mode". Every so often I have to totally withdraw...sometimes for long periods of time....it's this weird thing with me.

 

[XL Sweatshirt]

Omgsh! Me too! Short bursts of human contact but on a daily basis.

Well, that's when I'm not in "dissappear mode". Every so often I have to totally withdraw...sometimes for long periods of time....it's this weird thing with me.

Ha, I've noticed! ...and ditto. I go through those, too, every once in a while. Complete hermit lifestyle.

 

[dizzygirl]

Talking about going out frequently I am going out with a friend again today and then going out alone to see Mateusz Kolakowski do a piano recital. I'm very excited about my self-date! :tongue:
oh, might i add my board exams are going on and history is on the 8th of june!

 

[dizzygirl]

Ha, I've noticed! ...and ditto. I go through those, too, every once in a while. Complete hermit lifestyle.

me too!! I just give up my cellphone, minimize internet stuff and spend complete alone time trying to find myself i think. or something like that.

 

[dizzygirl]

:|
so, i cancelled on myself.
crap.