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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do you have any? If not, why not?

INTPs want to be competent at everything they may be subjected into doing. This is why it seems odd to me that something like socializing, which we must do to some degree, appears to be neglected by many an INTP.
 

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It's just not stimulating enough to be passionate. A big part of socializing is the other person has to believe you actually want to talk to them. That is a real obstacle for me.

I think we are more than perceptive enough. It's not like we don't get it.
 

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Do you have any? If not, why not?

INTPs want to be competent at everything they may be subjected into doing. This is why it seems odd to me that something like socializing, which we must do to some degree, appears to be neglected by many an INTP.
Did I inspire this post with my comment in the other thread? :laughing:
 

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My last two replies of the thread about ISTJ's having bad social skills too.

"I think I have better social skills than I give myself credit for I just struggle to care about my social life very much and thus go undeveloped due to lack of practice. I'm sure this is a common NT experience."

" We could do it if we wanted. We can do anything we want. We are NT's. The elite. "



I was just thinking since we value competence so much I bet you anything we could do it if we were motivated.
 

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Do you have any? If not, why not?

INTPs want to be competent at everything they may be subjected into doing. This is why it seems odd to me that something like socializing, which we must do to some degree, appears to be neglected by many an INTP.
I am great at public social situations. It drains me though. I often require alcohol and quietness afterward. I took a job as a doorman for a few years at a nightclub, and was the longest lasting person to ever do the job. I can talk a person out of the building better than anyone I know. Very little effects me or my functions. I received a $100 tip once for calling a cab for a guy that 'liked my attitude and style.' My old superiors there are still my friends, and I use them as references.

About social interactions and INTPs- My friend once told me that I can get along with absolutely anyone I like, and the only people I do not get along with are the ones that I have issues with. 'Why not like everybody?' he asked.

I wonder if any of you are that way. Are the people you do not get along with or enjoy being around nothing more than people that you perceive/feel/judge in a negative way?
 

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I can pull off being friendly fairly well. I wouldn't say that I am socially incompetent. I was four years ago though.. oh man that was just sad. :laughing:
 

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Become a master of getting out of it.
This pretty much. Having the feeling function as inferior, dangling somewhere on the bottom of the function ladder, would make one be rather disinterested in other people. Being disinterested in people an INTP is then more likely to avoid social contact. But if you avoid something, you cannot become competent in it.

I'd also think that INTPs who early in their life were surrounded by people whom they found interesting for some reason or another would have better social skills than INTPs who were surrounded by people that they could not relate to and thus learned to avoid.
 

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My Fe has always accommodated me in social situations, although people usually get the wrong idea. If you can imagine, multiple EFP's have commented in envy how I can befriend anyone. This is done without interest, however. I'm almost always only driven by curiosity to decompose the mind of whomever I'm talking to. I don't care to be friends with people. I'd rather not have to speak with them more than once a week. There are exceptions of course. If you're willfully ignorant I'll write you off unequivocally but if you feed my knowledge-hungry mind I'll want to spend more time with you out of genuine enjoyment.
 

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If it wasn't for the 'tubes, I wouldn't have any social skills. I learned how to argue well, convince people (a result of many games of Supremacy 1914), research well, say my thoughts in a way easy to understand, and many other things on the internet. It may seem weird, but its pretty much true. And since I came to this site, I can say I have had probably a 10% drop in "nihilistic/defeatist/pessimistic moments."

And I learned a bunch of new internet slang. Like Inter-blag (courtesy of xkcd).
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
About social interactions and INTPs- My friend once told me that I can get along with absolutely anyone I like, and the only people I do not get along with are the ones that I have issues with. 'Why not like everybody?' he asked.
this is true. People interest me. I think a psychologically inclined INTP may have an easier time appreciating others.

I'm interested in your public persona. how did you cultivate this effective nightclub routine?
 

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I wonder if any of you are that way. Are the people you do not get along with or enjoy being around nothing more than people that you perceive/feel/judge in a negative way?

When I did sales a few years ago, I found I performed better and thus picked up clients that I personally liked. I couldn't sell to those that I had some kind of hangup with, be it lack of connection or just a negative judgment of them in my mind.

I think your friend is right on the money when he says to "like" more people. One strategy I use when I'm really being aware of my actions is to find something that I like about a person and focus exclusively on that. It helps.
 

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this is true. People interest me. I think a psychologically inclined INTP may have an easier time appreciating others.

I'm interested in your public persona. how did you cultivate this effective nightclub routine?
It was pretty easy for me. I gotta talk about myself for this answer.

I moved a lot as a kid. My family settled in a town that was not big enough to be any city, but kinda big for a small town. My graduating class was 125. This was in 8th grade when we moved here, and at about that time I took a serious interest in fashion and girls. I wore button down shirts, pants, and dress shoes when many of the kids in hick-ville wore cowboy boots and such. I was one of the best dressed in the school.

OK, so if you are new, well dressed, interested in fashion, and girls like the fact that you are some 'shy' deep thinking type of guy, expect extreme dissent from the other guys. Especially the ones in flannel and cowboy boots. I always prefer conversation to anything physical but I grew kinda used to both.

My styles and interested changed over the years, but I never lost interest in fashion and girls. I agree with the chameleon thing and INTP. I have have had friends from 15 - 65 of every race, interest, and background.

So fast forward a little. At 21 I got a job as a well paid welder and was making well over 50k a year. To make the money I was working minimum mandatory 50 hr weeks, often closer to 60. My peers were all male, maybe 5 older women that all the guys were fighting over. I had no social life but desired one. I was really tired of all the ass-scratching and dirty jokes on the toilet walls. I spent weekends at the bar, spending huge amounts of money, and was going nowhere with it. The only effect was my bank account shrinking.

My friend was working at a fully-nude gentleman's club. I found his work FAR more interesting than mine. :laughing: He said his boss was wondering if I wanted to work part-time on my only day off. I saw this as an opportunity for social gain > loss of money, and a chance to express my fashion beyond dirty overalls. The chance to meet girls was nice also.

The general manager everyone hated. He put zero value on any emotional actions or arguments. After 25 years in that business, if he had a dime for every time someone ran up to him crying he would be a millionaire. Actually he is a millionaire. I thought he was one of the greatest men I had ever met, and saw the logic in his every action. He is still my friend.
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So the rules of the work environment are kinda simple.
#1 Disregard any argument made on emotion. The only valid arguments made are against the 10 rules posted on entry. Direct those arguments to higher management.
#2 Do what your logical boss says. Any arguments against your actions are against his logic, and direct those to him. He prefers this, and does not like assumptions made on his behalf.
#3 See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, or who am I to judge? Judge according to the logic on the wall and your superior's statements. Ya, ya, the world sucks, that person is weird, whatever; keep it to yourself. If they were well adjusted they probably would come into a nudie bar; if were going to share opinions on people.
#4 Enforce the above (rarely a need) while hiding in the background.

Finally, and this may be where I differ from other INTP (based on the dog/human drowning debate), have limited empathy for everyone, but apply the logic of the rules and management to any situation. Empathy for the customer is key in any customer service. The customers paid for the experience, and the experience is provided by the girls (so blend into the wallpaper). Your interactions can only lessen their experience. They did not pay to see the girl they want to give a $100 to flirt with you all night. I would leave if I was in their shoes.

I cannot teach empathy, but it is the difference between an asshole that probably wont last more than a month and a 4 star employee. Being able to have and control empathy for co-workers and customers is superior to all. If you can do the above and work out some to keep up physical attributes, I believe you could work and excel in any nightclub (maybe most jobs) in the world. I would hire you.
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To answer the question directly I would say that: I was interested in the subjects, used to being different, accustomed to dissent from others, social chameleon, possess empathy- while disregarding it when it when contradicted good business or the rules, and applied logic in the use of all of these things. Being able to entertain yourself staring at a wall for hours upon end is a huge plus.
 

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I haven't figured out how to like people enough to really get them to start interacting with me.
Don't have to like people just be curious about them. Ask a few questions and this will predispose people towards you, as it will demonstrate that they are interesting for you. Just make sure the questions aren't too personal or too strange. I know one INTP who likes interacting with people on basis of discussing his ideas with them - he feels comfortable doing so to the point that I have even confused him with an ENTP.
 
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