Does anybody ever feel like a social nomad? It tends to happen to me when getting together with a larger amount of people. When the numbers increase and people start breaking off into conversation groups I get weird and honestly want be apart of all of them at the same time. And I try to do that knowing it's going to wear me out. I can jump in and out of different conversations easily but at the same time I never think I'm officially "In" one. Sometimes I'm physically right in the middle of two conversations and I find myself paying attention to one, then checking out the other one, and back to the previous one every few minutes, just observing and rarely adding anything to either other than laughing at the punchlines and other social cues.
Social Nomad
[INFJ]
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I do the same thing at gatherings -- even small ones. Sometimes over dinner there's various conversations taking place between people. I "jump" between them. I tune into one, and tune out the others. I never want to miss anything, so I jump back and forth so that I'm getting the gist of everything. If something particularly interesting surfaces, I'll remain attentive to that conversation. I don't normally contribute either, unless it's something that directly interests me or it's I'm knowledgeable about. I like to observe and listen.
I think I prefer to just observe, listen from a distance... Something strange happens to me when there is too much activity or people around. Or maybe it doesn't have to even be a lot of people, just a few strangers. I kind of shut down a bit, thinking stops, etc. It's when I'm the most socially awkward (and maybe also the most aware of other people). Only if I'm doing something like helping people move things etc., it's easier for me to be social. I can also say I have had some success at social functions done at art galleries. But in general, I avoid these kinds of situations. Perhaps I don't like to 'have a conversation' for the sake of conversation or I feel it's an inefficient way of getting to know someone
In those types of situations, I'll hang out on my own until someone talks to me
A lot of people see this as anti-social behavior, but to me, this is the most logical thing to do
This way I'm not jumping in where I'm not wanted, and I know that my input is actually desired. Other than that, I try to keep in tune with what each conversation is about, and I may interject some wit every now and then
A lot of people see this as anti-social behavior, but to me, this is the most logical thing to do
This way I'm not jumping in where I'm not wanted, and I know that my input is actually desired. Other than that, I try to keep in tune with what each conversation is about, and I may interject some wit every now and then
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You took the words out of my mouth, Linus. For the past year I've been living with an ENFP who used to love to drag me out with her to parties. Eventually she got frustrated because she said that whenever she tried to introduce me to someone, I would shut down. "You're so witty and funny and smart that I know people would love to hear what you have to say," she would tell me. "But when I introduce you to new people, you just turn off."
I don't know why I do this, and it's become very frustrating. I've been trying to expand my social circle while living in a very small college town, but this inability to interact has made it almost impossible to meet new people at parties or clubs.
Something interesting you said is that if you're helping people, then you find it easier to interact. I've found the same thing to be true for myself. It's almost like I feel I have to have a purpose for wherever I am.
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LOL!
iSwear, i hate parties where there's no food.
But no, i don't jump between groups of folk chattering away
Yep, right on.
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Just when i was beginning to think i wasn't INFJ afterall! hehe :crazy:
Awesome. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who does that :laughing: Thanks. I used to just stick to myself and have people come to me but I feel so awkward when I do that. And when people did come to me it's usually for small talk so I stop functioning and they leave ha ha. I've made myself move around and fit iin some circles. Sometimes there are a lot of interesting conversations out there that I can get into. If that doesn't work out I'll seek out somebody I know and follow them around so I can (not) interact with who they are interacting with.
What I've recently discovered is that card and boardgames help me a lot in being more social. I feel really comfortable in that. Purposeful as yellowbritt put it.
What I've recently discovered is that card and boardgames help me a lot in being more social. I feel really comfortable in that. Purposeful as yellowbritt put it.
i can definitely relate to everyone that has posted, and i want to let you all in on a little secret. for the past month or so i have pretty much gone into hermit mode, only going out for the necessities, groceries, cigarettes, etc. and guess what, i have met more new faces in this past month just by chance, and these people are coming to me. two of them are infp's and another is a fellow infj. people just show up at my doorstep now, it's kind of amazing :happy:
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