Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,597 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I've noticed a lot that my father (an INFJ) isn't very fond of being alone. He doesn't seek out the company of just anyone, though, only the people closest to him, which makes me believe he is an Introvert, along with a handful of other reasons. However, when he and I are home alone, I most often just go outside and do my own thing, but he usually calls his mom and sister and whoever else. sometimes he'll come outside and hang around me, or he might go to the neighbor's house...but he doesn't seem to really enjoy solitude. he always has the tv on for noise. If I'm in the house, he'll stop by and check up on what I'm doing every now and then and chat about it (and it's not being nosy).

I never understand it, because I'm always seeking solitude intentionally.

Is that a common thing? What is your personal opinion on solitude?

INFJ's are the one type I just can't get a handle on. But I'm very interested.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,333 Posts
I've noticed a lot that my father (an INFJ) isn't very fond of being alone. He doesn't seek out the company of just anyone, though, only the people closest to him, which makes me believe he is an Introvert, along with a handful of other reasons. However, when he and I are home alone, I most often just go outside and do my own thing, but he usually calls his mom and sister and whoever else. sometimes he'll come outside and hang around me, or he might go to the neighbor's house...but he doesn't seem to really enjoy solitude. he always has the tv on for noise. If I'm in the house, he'll stop by and check up on what I'm doing every now and then and chat about it (and it's not being nosy).

I never understand it, because I'm always seeking solitude intentionally.

Is that a common thing? What is your personal opinion on solitude?

INFJ's are the one type I just can't get a handle on. But I'm very interested.
I am a very chatty introvert.
we spend so much of our earlier years in the closet. slowly observing people and finding out how to interact or be with them that once we get a social foot in the door we seem to come off more like extroverts.

he has probably had a long and interesting life if he is out and about doing his thing with other people.
also would like to say that some of us get more introverted too later in life.
I think it just depends on the direction the individual finds himself going and if they have found love or not with another human being.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts
I like my alone time, but I can't stand being lonely! I enjoy being around other people, yet I do need downtime and writing time. Does your father have any hobbies?
 
  • Like
Reactions: MissNobody

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,039 Posts
I am not too found of solitude myself. I don't seem to get much accomplished, and I can get lonely.

In solitude, I used to write stories that I knew- though I didn't want to admit it to myself- would never get published or anything or probably even shown to another human being. What was the point?

I've just always been too idealistic thinking that one day I would make something of myself, but I would never DO anything about it in solitude. I would think and think and think and imagine a future that would never become true, because I wasn't doing anything but thinking.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts
I am not too found of solitude myself. I don't seem to get much accomplished, and I can get lonely.

In solitude, I used to write stories that I knew- though I didn't want to admit it to myself- would never get published or anything or probably even shown to another human being. What was the point?

I've just always been too idealistic thinking that one day I would make something of myself, but I would never DO anything about it in solitude. I would think and think and think and imagine a future that would never become true, because I wasn't doing anything but thinking.

'not too fond of solitude' tells me you don't want to dream
'too idealistic' tells me you no longer dream
Writing is not a waste of time, whether published nor read by others. I believe from my heart of hearts that writing, no matter the form, is a release that helps one understand theirself. Who knows, one day one of your stories may be published and hit the big time. Anything is possible; all one has to do is believe!
 
  • Like
Reactions: raj and Daveman

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,039 Posts
'not too fond of solitude' tells me you don't want to dream
'too idealistic' tells me you no longer dream
Writing is not a waste of time, whether published nor read by others. I believe from my heart of hearts that writing, no matter the form, is a release that helps one understand theirself. Who knows, one day one of your stories may be published and hit the big time. Anything is possible; all one has to do is believe!
That's a nice thought, Dalien.

I'm tired of dreaming though. I want to wake up.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts
I like being around people but only good people. But I also like my alone time. I have to have nature to be fully happy.
Nature is a solitude that is not lonely!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,039 Posts
Why not do both?
I've only been doing one for 27 years. Bear that in mind.

You know I'm all for balance, but I'm trying to do more of the "grounded in reality" thingy...I guess because I have NEVER done it.

If it seems like I've become too much of a party pooper, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put any idealistic person down, and I wish everyone the best of luck in accomplishing their dreams, but I was reaching too high.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts
I've only been doing one for 27 years. Bear that in mind.

You know I'm all for balance, but I'm trying to do more of the "grounded in reality" thingy...I guess because I have NEVER done it.

If it seems like I've become too much of a party pooper, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put any idealistic person down, and I wish everyone the best of luck in accomplishing their dreams, but I was reaching too high.
My dear dsv2e, no need to appologize. I just believe if you loose to much of yourself from one end to the other...I have to ask...where will you be? Ground yourself but don't loose all of you while you are at it. Ok. You are a wonderful person you know!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,039 Posts
My dear dsv2e, no need to appologize. I just believe if you loose to much of yourself from one end to the other...I have to ask...where will you be? Ground yourself but don't loose all of you while your at it. Ok. You are a wonderful person you know!
Aww..thanks! :blushed:

So are you! :happy:

Life is a balancing act for me, and I am not a natural acrobat.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
11,229 Posts
Aww..thanks! :blushed:

So are you! :happy:

Life is a balancing act for me, and I am not a natural acrobat.
I'm no acrobat either...years ago I used to be called grace! :laughing:

Thank you!:happy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Daveman

·
Registered
Joined
·
206 Posts
I'm tired of dreaming though. I want to wake up.
One of my fav quotes from T E Lawerance

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,794 Posts
I'm with Dalien. I enjoy being alone but I hate being lonely!

I also find that although I like spending time in my room alone pre-occupied with whatever project I'm working on, if I hear a lot of noise or excited voices coming from the kitchen I want to know what I’m missing out on!

I like my current situation at University where my bedroom is my own personal space and no one can come in without knocking and I lock the door if I leave the house. I have 6 housemates and it is comforting that there are people in the house with me but not in my personal space if you get what I mean?

I often come out of my room to get water from the kitchen just to be sociable and I’ve noticed some of my housemates doing a similar thing. It is a way of saying "Hi I am here. I am alive. I know we haven't see each other today but I am around if anyone needs me." and if I bump into anyone else in the kitchen we can have a quick chat and then I can disappear into my room again.

It's a pretty good balance and the people in my house are pretty considerate about the fact we all like our own persona space.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,794 Posts
I am not too found of solitude myself. I don't seem to get much accomplished, and I can get lonely.

In solitude, I used to write stories that I knew- though I didn't want to admit it to myself- would never get published or anything or probably even shown to another human being. What was the point?

I've just always been too idealistic thinking that one day I would make something of myself, but I would never DO anything about it in solitude. I would think and think and think and imagine a future that would never become true, because I wasn't doing anything but thinking.
I ended up feeling this way about my drawing/painting. I was an 'artist' before I was a 'reader'/'writer' and as a child this is what I spent most of my time doing.

As I got older I realised that I could make a living doing the thing I love but soon found that by trying to find ways to get work as an artist I soon lost my enjoyment for art. It was like a part of me thought "well if I can't get work through my art, then what is the point of me creating it anymore?"

I'm slowly getting it back into now though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
765 Posts
Introversion is a continuum, and some introverts require more human contact than others. Even I - and I am a pretty extreme introvert - get lonesome sometime and enjoy being with others. Our Fe means that we genuinely enjoy human interaction, but we are picky about who that's with, and after a while it will tire us and we'll need some time alone to recharge. It may seem confusing, or even contradictory, but despite our introversion we generally do love being around the people we love.

Introversion coupled with Fe is an odd combination, I think, and for me it's not so much that I don't like being with people, so much as I don't like being with ALL people, and I am very selective in who I spend my time with.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,039 Posts
Introversion is a continuum, and some introverts require more human contact than others. Even I - and I am a pretty extreme introvert - get lonesome sometime and enjoy being with others. Our Fe means that we genuinely enjoy human interaction, but we are picky about who that's with, and after a while it will tire us and we'll need some time alone to recharge. It may seem confusing, or even contradictory, but despite our introversion we generally do love being around the people we love.

Introversion coupled with Fe is an odd combination, I think, and for me it's not so much that I don't like being with people, so much as I don't like being with ALL people, and I am very selective in who I spend my time with.
This is why I don't consider myself an extreme introvert.

Nicely put, by the way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
28 Posts
Have you ever dreamt of being hermit ?
That used to be my teenageyears dream... To live alone in the forest and become so wise and enlightened.

But I have noticed I really need a human contact.. Actually pretty much (though close contact only with my partner and less close with my family... That's about it )...

I think we INFJ's have the need to be with other people and can probably best achieve feeling of happiness and satisfaction through being able to do something helpful for the community around us. Be it very little or bigger community.

What do you think ?
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top