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Solutions to dark thoughts and loneliness

3100 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Glory
Hello fellow ENFJ's, this is my first post on this forum :happy:, but it is a very pressing issue for me that causes much pain and suffering.

Putting it bluntly, when I'm alone my world crumbles. I experience dark thoughts and sadness that is common in the ENFJ personality type. I will create a completely unrealistic world where I over think past interactions and realize where I've failed. I get stuck on what the other person thinks and feels (because it can never be good of course). I feel that I'm happiest when the people that I care about are happy, and in my mind when I'm alone those people are never happy and it is usually my fault. I get upset and sad, but I feel that I cannot express this to the people that I love because I do not want to appear weak to them. With that being said I'm pretty much trapped inside myself with eternal grief that makes me feel even more alone. I get to the point where I don't care about everyday life because it is almost unbearable. I think that this happens because I am unable to read how people feel when I am not with them, so my mind goes directly south...

So onto the solution... I've read about people using different distraction methods and hobbies to rid themselves of dark thoughts, but to me that is just a band aid, not a real fix. In your experiences as an ENFJ how do you "be okay" and actually stop this madness instead of running from it? Thank you very much for your insights!!

Oh and here are some happy faces to lift the mood: :crazy::crazy::happy::cool::tongue::tongue:
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On one side I don't like living alone. Since my divorce it's been the first time in my life that I've lived by myself. I've always had roommates, sister, ex bfs, and ex hubby living with me. The worse times are when I decided to watch Law and Order SVU marathon and then I'm like this for the rest of the night.

In the end I'm actually handling the alone time better then I thought. I'm discovering new positive things about being in my house alone. Sliding across my wooden floors with nothing on but socks and a candle stick in hand singing my heart out I found is very liberating.

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