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I live on the edge. You know enough about the edge to know that you don't want to be there.

I live alone and I've been unemployed for a long time. I'm constantly harrassed by my father to, "Grow up. Get a job. Be responsible." and repeatedly threatened with the possibility of homelessness if I don't do something with my life in the near future.

All of my friends have moved away and gotten married. I'm alone. My only source of physical human interaction is when I go to the gym, the bank, the gas station, and the grocery store. These brief moments are unfulfilling.

To put it simply, I'm always on the brink of being utterly and absolutely miserable. Which brings me to today.

The day started off rather well. I saw someone from my gym at the grocery store, we exchanged numbers, and I bought cookies.

A few hours later and the day had quickly turned to shit. Communications with my better half had deteriorated and become tense, then ceased altogether. Our future together is now unpredictable and unknown. Not knowing and not being able to communicate makes me feel vulnerable and weak. I'm the type of person that requires consensus between parties or a common understanding, otherwise I'll go crazy until I'm able to rectify the situation.

Soon after, I realized that I had done something to my left ankle, which made walking slightly painful. Being that I had eaten too much, I decided to ignore the pain and go running. But, when I arrived at my favorite spot, I noticed that some type of community event was taking place nearby. The people attending this event were of the peace-loving-hippy type and there was no parking to be found. As I drove away pissed off and disgusted, I saw two high school-aged girls walking on the sidewalk holding hands. I thought, "Homosexual or bisexual?" and then I thought about how I never saw that sort of thing when I was in high school; and then I thought about society in general and if we're seeing a slow, yet methodical, shift in American culture.

Finally, as I drove home I merged in front of a slow moving vehicle and the driver flashed his headlights at me, apparently offended by my driving. Of course, my reaction was to reply with the middle finger, to which he replied with his middle finger. I then replied with two middle fingers and he resorted to flashing me with his headlights again.

I am now at home watching Top Gear and using my personal weights to burn a few calories....alone. Being a Saturday night, I can only assume that the woman I care about is out...somewhere, doing...something. You know how the mind works.

I think I'll do a few more push ups and sit ups and then bake some cookies....alone.

Please cheer me up and tell me about a particular shitty day you've lived through.
 

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If someone gives me their brights, I'll take my foot off the gas until they turn them back off. (I get brighted for driving the speed limit and they want to go faster... talk about Massholes... xD)

When I'm having bad days I usually sit at my house... and do lots of push-ups (like you said). And if I had a really bad day, I have some nice ISFJ long-distance friends and I basically tell over skype them all about my shit day, complain about the unfairness of the world and their sympathy helps. (ISFJs are excellent listeners)

I've had some awful awful days... spent hours wailing on my punching bag... kicking... punching... just straight-up slaughtering it.

If you want to help numb it a little... I love watching GI Jane... because it's all about a woman who suffers a lot, but fights (With positivity) through it.

Probably the worst day of my life.... ehh... well basically the first girl I ever loved... Her parents made her never talk to me again because I didn't believe Jesus Christ was my lord and Savior. Never heard from her again. That just sucked... and it still hurts.
 

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All of my friends have moved away and gotten married. I'm alone. My only source of physical human interaction is when I go to the gym, the bank, the gas station, and the grocery store. These brief moments are unfulfilling.
Sounds a lot like me...ever consider volunteer work? Depending on what you do, I've found it to be challenging as an introvert, but fulfilling at the end of the day. It's also good way to break the monotony of your daily life.
 

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Sounds a lot like me...ever consider volunteer work? Depending on what you do, I've found it to be challenging as an introvert, but fulfilling at the end of the day. It's also good way to break the monotony of your daily life.
I volunteer for the police department and am a volunteer wrestling coach. I'm also thinking about finding a writing group.

By the way, the cookies were delicious.
 

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My most recent worst day happened two weeks ago. For a year now, the university I attend knew they wanted to make me a Teaching Assistant (TA), which means I teach a class and they wave my graduate school tuition and give me a small stipend to live on. Back in May, when they officially told me that I would be a TA, the professor overseeing the TA's told us not to do any work preparing for our course because he would give us everything we needed - including a full script for what to do each day. We would be puppet teachers.

One week before class started, this prof. suddenly told us that we needed to make our own materials and turn them into him in TWO days. I've never taught before, so creating a syllabus and course schedule would be stressful enough without the time constraints! I spent two feverish days putting my course together, feeling completely uncertain of what I was doing.

Tomorrow begins my third week of teaching, and so far things are going ok. Everything has worked out. But that stupid prof. really created so much extra stress for me. That was a pretty bad day.:angry:
 

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"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space."



My worst days in recent memory were when I was having a complete mental/emotional/nervous breakdown in Taiwan due to too much stress.

Then there was that time I got bronchitis + double pneumonia in Beijing which put me down for the count for about 2 months straight. My friends there eventually told I was lame and boring 'cause all I did was ... be ... sick.

More recent bad-but-not-awful days involve me misplacing very important things, like my passport (when I'm heading back to Taiwan in a few weeks), but I found those later so it was cool. The panic-stress almost gave me a heart attack. Well, not really. But it was stressful.
 

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It totally sucks when there is only one good thing going on in your life and that tanks out...

I've had a lot of bad days like the one you're describing. It was a total misery for me between college and grad school because I was living at home and my parents had this idea that I had to have a job, and temping was not OK, because it had to be a full-time professional job with a certain salary and benefits and a 401 K and I had to get it in one week (And I'd already been admitted to grad school--on a full scholarship with a stipend--so I was only going to be around for four months).

They were relentlessly awful about it... there was screaming, yelling, throwing things all the time, and I just couldn't even bring myself to be applying for those types of jobs because I didn't want them and I felt it would be like stealing to lie to someone and get that job and then be like "Oh, I'm going to grad school, which I planned before I interviewed, so screw you and your recruitment costs."
 

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Here is one for ya:

Husband comes home from being at the observatory all night, wants you to go to Lowe's with him and back to the observatory with him. My feet were just hitting the asphalt when he says seriously, "I don't think I love you anymore." I just kept walking to the front entrance of Lowes, as if nothing was said. I was so damn numb that I was speechless. Me being speechless is very rare. We get what he needs at Lowes. Go to the observatory, and he wants to talk about what he said. I could only nod. He thought I was agreeing. Now, I would absolutely say "THAT WAS A BAD DAY!"

PS As it turns out, it was most definitly for the best! :wink:
 
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