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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a paradox (Damn I said that too many times, annoyingly repetitive) so I decided to write these down;

1. Paralyzing self doubt

I think we often question the good things about ourselves a lot, whether they are authentic enough or not, whether we're being courageous enough to ourselves or not.

Perhaps, we are often subjected to external factors or our own self inflicted doubts that cause us to trust less in our intuition, our inner voices that often guide us to where we should be. We often, without realizing it, wonder whether we deserve it, whether we are able to judge well for our own selves and whether we might get laughed at or feel humiliated in the end.

It is still an issue for me, although I'm getting better in trusting that inner, more creative compass inside me.

Possible solution: Most important: needs constant positive affirmations to self (no one can do it better than yourself) and needs to identify a balanced separation between what self wants/desires and fulfilling duties towards others/others' expectations of self. Needs to trust more in the powers of intuition and inner creativity no matter how rigid others can be.

Needs to also remind self that a million books, articles or online interactions filled with logical sounding advice will not help if I don't trust myself enough. Trusting yourself is a complete inside job.

2. Feeling like I can't belong anywhere

I have the most stable few friendships in my life (so stable, in fact, that I sometimes think they love me too much), and yet I still feel like I don't belong, like I'm a puzzle piece all on my own, even amongst family and all of my relatives. I don't know where the real parts of mind even belong in this planet. Even in the INFP forum, I can relate to other INFP's on some level, but I still fall into feelings of being ''unfit.''

Possible solution:
Most important: Just accept that as being part of self, and not be too harsh on self because of it. It is most important to accept myself, even if I feel like I am born weird, psychologically different or whatsoever. No expert therapist can help me, I will repeat again, trusting myself is a complete inside job.

Also needs to remind self of the importance of alone time when necessary.

3. Anger over injustices of the past

I think a lot of INFP's have this. We feel unjustified, like,''I was so nice, why the hell did I have to go through all of that? And for what? What a waste of my life, I could've gone through something better or gained something much more wonderful for myself'' It continues to paralyze us if we don't have enough self control and rationality to keep in check (This is where I use my reasoning process to control me from doing anything stupid in relation to how I'm moulded by my past) Regret is an INFP's worst enemy.

We feel as though we've given up parts of our most significant selves, either spiritually or psychologically, just to benefit unimportant interests of others that don't matter in the long run.

Possible solutions: As cliched as it sounds, needs to live a little more in the present. I need to be my own person and express/feel at a deeper level, more appreciation towards the self that has become as a result of my past. I can't think of anything better than that, to be honest.

4. Psychological guilt

Our intense emotional capacity makes us feel guilt in excess, even towards people who have wronged us. Even when we stand up for ourselves, we find ourselves unconsciously questioning ourselves afterwards.

Possible solution: Needs to remind self it's either you or them. You either choose to stand up for yourself when it's right or risk possible self torture by crying during unexpected alone moments. (Okay, maybe I am talking about myself lol!) Being kind means being ethical, but being kind does not mean selling out on yourself.

Needs to remind self that you owe the world a degree of both your independence and personal happiness, because you do yourself and others a favor by not being fake or pretentious in most of your motives and actions.
Why should you not stand up for yourself and pretend to be okay about it just to please other people? You're being fake to them.

Stand up for yourself when it's right.

I still have my fears and doubts. But anyway, to summarize, I think possible good solutions are: appreciate how one learns from past experiences, be more hopeful by reinforcing positive affirmations to self instead of 'why me?why me?', be more faithful to one's intuition and do not live yourself through the eyes of judgmental people.

Sorry, my mood isn't that well today.
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