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Some girls (and guys, I guess) just seem to get so much attention. I don't get it. Even if they aren't slutty or wear revealing clothes... All they have to do is smile at a guy and you'll overhear a conversation about how some guy is going crazy about that girl who works at the grill--the one who smiled.

You see I have this friend, who's pretty much my best friend at my college right now, but she just gets so much attention--and she claims that she doesn't try. She doesn't even want a relationship right now, but all these guys are falling at her feet. Now, I don't want as much attention as she gets (because, honest to God, I would go crazy), but hanging out by her side all the time as all these guys line up to make a move on her while I have little to no one interested in me does get annoying.

I just can't make sense of it. What gives?
 

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Pheromones? That's my first guess.

But yeah, I've known several people like that. One is really pretty, so it's understandable. She's also very sweet and outgoing.

But I also knew a guy who wasn't overly attractive. He was very confident and masculine though and I swear that every girl in my grade got attracted to him when they were ovulating. I know it wasn't just me. Haha.

So pheromones mixed with an attractive personality (and looks).

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If they are just attracted to your friend in a superficial way, it's not much of a compliment anyway. I'm sure you'd prefer to have a guy genuinely like you for your personality and that is worth waiting for.
 

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It just sounds like your friend is really, really ridiculously good-looking. Human magnetism doesn't really come into play until you've spent some time observing the person.
 

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have an ex-colleague at work... same problem. nobody knows, HOW he makes it. but women fly around him like moths around a candle-flame. I believe, his "magic" was 1. much talking and 2. fast body-contact and 3. the 90% of the time sad face o_O

(btw. my brother had an similiar attraction-ability. I was for long time jealous about him and his life, but,... how said William Blake? "Some are born to sweet delight, some are born in endless night"^^)

I just want to explain, that there are forces... within our control and out of our control... we have to learn, how to decide :|
 
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a mixture of being genuine, open and nonjudgmental but also a little bit reserved. They're not throwing themselves at other people, but are still friendly (looking, at least). For women, anyway.
 

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@pclaradactyl Yeah, what about you? Stupid hot friend!! *Shakes fist*

:)

Well, although I have no experience dealing with this (clearly), my line of thinking, is if you don't even want to walk in her shoes, why even care?
 

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@pclaradactyl Yeah, what about you? Stupid hot friend!! *Shakes fist*

:)

Well, although I have no experience dealing with this (clearly), my line of thinking, is if you don't even want to walk in her shoes, why even care?
Really... I don't care all that much. I just find it baffling, and have laughed with her about it a lot. And even if you don't want the attention she gets to the extent that she does, being the person that stands by and listens to her tell stories about that guy who kissed her over Thanksgiving, that guy who kissed her during the movie last night, the guy who asked her out, that guy who this, that guy who that, etc..... Honestly, I'd be surprised by anyone who claimed they didn't even wonder just a little how she does it without even realizing what she's doing.

It does make me laugh.
 

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Charisma: Some people got it, others don't. :wink:

Ok, but in all seriousness, it's mainly about being a) comfortable in your own skin, b) chill enough to engage people on their own level, while still remaining on your own... and of course, being dead sexy never hurt. :tongue:

When you feel good, people pick up on that, and naturally want to be around you.
 

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I used to work with a guy who was about 6'3,mesomorph,dark-skinned and had a pretty deep voice. He also wore grey contacts.
He was cool as fuck. Anyway, I loved hanging out with him at work, because I loved observing the reactions of females around him.
They would outright just stare at him, if they'd never spoken to me, they'd make sure they greeted me if I was with him. I even saw one girl bump into him on purpose in an attempt to get him to speak to her. It was effortless for him.
 
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Yeah, I've seen this.....it's most perplexing when the person is not anything extraordinary in the looks department, yet they attract people instantly. I imagine they just give off vibes which appeal to others. I would NOT say these people are necessarily really balanced or mature personality-wise either. They're just adept at attracting others & making good first impressions. It's like people who interview well for jobs, but aren't necessarily good workers. I know a lot of serial monogamists who fall into this category. They're emotional wrecks, but attract people easily because it's not apparent at first.

I actually don't tend to go for these people. They always seem sort of.....ordinary. It's this very ordinary-ness that others seem to like though. They all have stuff in common, I guess; all the stuff that I don't care about.

I remember being a teen in school & hearing everyone talk of their crushes - they all liked the same 5 people! It would puzzle me why these people I found rather dull were so coveted by others. The ones who caught my attention were never those few. It's always someone sort of overlooked, different, underrated by others. I find this really common in NPs though, especially xNFPs. There's almost a pride in seeing potential where others don't.


Yeah, how do those magnets work?
it's a miracle.

Eye-contact, open body language, a nice smile, these are things that make them magnets. Intense people are intimidating, if one gives the impression of coolness, they are approachable.
Yes, however, a person can be both cool & intense. Coolness + intensity = aloof. This is not approachable....
 

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It's looks and/or personality and/or body shape.

It's only superficial attraction, though. Attention is nice, but speaking from experience, I honestly wonder if it's easier to have better quality relationships if you're one of the ones who don't get all the attention though. Because you attract a lot of the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and can end up hurt by them until you learn your lesson. You can also gain 30 pounds and realize what superficial dicks people were.

I think it can make the person have issues with wanting the one person who doesn't want them.

Anyway, there's good and bad to everything, and I'm sorry if you feel ignored. That must be tough, especially if you are very young, and maybe you could try meeting nice guys through other outlets.

Also...I've noticed that it's the one's you least expect/least pay attention to who suddenly become very attentive. Like teenaged boys, old men, and the drunk down the street. I mean...yeah. All attention is not attention that's going to lead to a relationship.
 

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It just sounds like your friend is really, really ridiculously good-looking. Human magnetism doesn't really come into play until you've spent some time observing the person.
NOPE. Actually people who are closer to being "average pretty" or "average handsome" combined with

Eye-contact, open body language, a nice smile, these are things that make them magnets. Intense people are intimidating, if one gives the impression of coolness, they are approachable.
attract more attention.

You have to be reasonably attractive, but not too attractive, because therefore you're intimidating, unapproachable, and possibly even weird-looking (have you seen photographs of some fashion models with no make-up on?) ...people want youth, symmetry, and clarity...but they also want familiarity. And friendliness.

I actually think @OrangeAppled is spot on that the people who get a lot of people having crushes on them as teens are actually fairly "ordinary" in a sense, or at least are able to market "ordinary" on the surface.

I seriously think it's mostly in personality; confidence, sensuality, friendliness, and openness go a loooong looong way as long as you're reasonably good looking.

It also helps, for females, to have some kind of extraordinary body feature - like having the tall slender supermodel frame OR having bodacious ta-tas and/or a booty. I think men in general respond to certain things, they're even conditioned for it by society, and will gravitate toward women with these very lean but graceful frames, or with voluptuous breasts and hips as long as there is some definable waist.
 
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