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I've sort of really been liking someone lately.... mistook him for an infj at first, but now i think he might be entj... he doesnt have a facebook but i saw another person's facebook. she had ptures of them posted together, and i realized how much in common they have and how suited they are for each other. the person's facebook doesnt list a relationship status or anything,,, but i've seen that they do other things together, like work together in some organizations... and yeah im kinda crushed. :sad::sad::sad: with someone like her by his side (even if they arent dating), i definitely dont stand a chance... i think she's an awesome person, and she's done some really successful things in her field. and i guess 5 years down the line... i hope to be as successful of her... it's okay.... im going to be alright i guess. oh yeah, he is 5 years older than i am... hrm....im just crushed for today. :sad::sad::sad::sad: im not feeling depressed or anything, but still crushed... im glad i found out now before i could get more attached. i guess this also gives me the opportunity to focus more on my work... any song recommendations ?
 

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I used to indulge myself in self pity with a song called "Inori Requiem" which is an amazing Japanese piece.

But... I won't link it because I don't think you should indulge yourself in self pity. Listen to something upbeat.
 

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well if it makes you feel better I just made some more sense of socionics and neither ESTJ nor ENTJ is good news for INFJs - i though they were good matches but that was wrong, ESTJ is conflict and ENTJ is pygmalion project, so if he ends up with her you can always just think that there is somebody better for you out there :)

when I am down I listen to trace/dance/beatsy music so probably not best for feeling crushed
or something funny like Al Yankovic
 

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ok im at work now so i'll take a look at those songs when i get homei feel silly for liking him so much now. he was probably just being friendly and i read way too much into it....
 

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It's difficult to look inside his mind, but it might be just the other way around - that he'd judge you as unobtainable.

By the way, I've never really understood why you girls sometimes think you are inferior to other girls. What you might see as Ms Wonderfully Perfect, I might see as The Living Nightmare of Nazi Zombie from TalkTooMuchAndTooLoud-city.

As for physical appearance: The two most beautiful girls I've ever seen/known, both had "faults" they hated themselves; one of them had the most sweet little nose tip pointing upwards (very much like Cleopatra in the Asterix & Obelix comics), the other one was slightly cross-eyed (which made her appear more adorable than Disney's Bambi).

I have to admit though, that the best girlfriend I ever had was a dog: Always happy to see me, no nagging for not having shaved that day, never complaining that we didn't have a bigger house than the neighbours. And she would happily do the dishes every day :tongue:
 

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Some may disagree with me, but I find that listening to happy and upbeat songs when I am neither happy nor upbeat is like trying to trick my brain. I don't like doing that. I get over my sadness much faster when I embrace it.




 

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... so its just a lot of observations on each others part. i wonder if he's a sensor, because he seems to be picking up on things quickly that my ISTJ friend is really good at - if im feeling quiet or acting a certain way, she notices this immediately, whereas my N friends don't really seem to get this. they just intuitively know im not feeling well but they internalize it immediately so they dont need to ask or study me to know it.
I don't know exactly your history with him, but if you can find a reason may be you can just approach him a few times for some simple task/request/question. He'll start thinking about it. Then may be make a counter move. If he is taken ... well then he should stop staring at you :p ... but may be he is single or doesn't like his current gf that much, who knows. At least this way you'll send a bit of a harmless signal to him.

... this is why i think he is estj - I read that ESTJs and INFJs are dualities in socionics. I read in socionics that it's difficult to notice your dual partners at first and easy to pass them by.
Greencoyote and I have been trying to make sense of socionics and basically in some material INFJ is INFj and in some INFJ is INFp. Socionics apparently had different branches and the authors of these branches were developing them separately and were not in agreement about terminology and function assignments. Doesn't help that it was all translated from Russian so the translators might not have known about this disagreement in russian psychology community. And different websites seem to reference different material sometimes mis-matching INFJ profiles on INFP functions.

So I switched to using Wikisocion like Greencoyote is doing and by that system INFJ is INFp and so our duality partner is actually ESTP. ESTJs is predicted as conflicting partner. Apparently weakest point (point of least resistance in socionics) in INFJs is Te, it is way weaker than our Se. It is like our super-blindspot. Their Te is primary and we cannot clearly see it or effectively respond to it. Our Ni hits them in similar manner because it is their point of least resistance. What it amounts to is a lot of not seeing things same way at all. Conflicting partners don't actually have to conflict, they can be coldly polite, and this is what I feel is going on between us. I've noticed that emails that I send he translates sometimes in completely foreign to me way and then there is potential of conflict there. I say one thing - he understands another thing - then I cannot understand how he arrived there. ENTJ is supervisory relationship where ENTJ acts like a teacher and tries to each Te to the INFJ. Both relations are classed as repulsive.

ESTPs I have been dismissing also, but I've known 3 and we by far understood each other better than this ESTJ I came in contact with. Once you learn to get over all of the stories of all the girls they had sex with in past, it is actually not that bad lol. I've also recently found myself attracted to an ESFP guy, supposed to be semi-duals. I can say we are indeed sort of protective of each other's Ni and Se. According to this website INFJ-ESTP pairs are actually pretty common, as are ESTJ-INFP pairings:
Compatibility and Your Myers Briggs Personality Type | PersonalityDesk

... but he might be an xSTP as well.
 

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I always feel if my thoughts had their own melody it would be this:




I find the guitar in this song to be melancholic, but not overwhelmingly so. It's feeling provoking, but thoughtful.



Ani Difranco's story telling skills, allows me to be empathetic and vent through this means when I listen to this
 

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I am not sure about songs for getting over such feelings, but as for wallowing in them, which is what I usually do, here are a couple of good ones.


Possibly the saddest song I have ever heard (btw I am not a fan of The Office, and haven't actually watched it)


While not a song, this version of Neruda's "Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines" read by Andy Garcia is quite moving:


Having posted these, I would recommend humorous stuff instead or maybe angry. I like Flight of the Conchords for the former, Toadies for the latter.

 
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