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ENFP, have you ever been in a conversation, been asked a direct question, and someone else jumps in and speak on your behalf ? I was in a conversation today at work, the question was asked directly to me, when someone thought they knew me better than i know myself thought it was ok to answer on my behalf. It annoyed me to the point i replied " excuse me, is your name X, well if it isn't, i can speak for myself thanks "

I'm sure there are other examples of people speaking on your behalf, so, when and if it happens, does it annoy you ? And would you stand up for yourself by letting the person know they crossed the line ? I have pretty strict boundaries with people, when those boundaries are crossed, snap ;)

Moral of the story, don't speak on my behalf, i'm quite capable speaking for myself , thanks :)
 

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It took me time to get to that point. It was hard for me to speak up to others. I gained more confidence and grew a pair with the help of a ENTP and INTJ friends of mine. :happy:
See, NT are good for something right ;) I recently met an ENTP at work , we instantly clicked. And of course you're aware of my INTJ love, so yeah i agree, NT will give you the confidence needed, that's for sure. Good for you Dreams. The amount of time it takes isn't as important as the fact you got there :)
 

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I don't think I have a problem so much with people trying to speak over/for me.

My problem was with my mother who always spoke for me in a different sense. Volunteering me to help people that she wanted to help. Things like typing up other people's CVs, sorting out their computers for them, etc.

She had the "Can't Say No" disease. #shudders
 

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See, NT are good for something right ;) I recently met an ENTP at work , we instantly clicked. And of course you're aware of my INTJ love, so yeah i agree, NT will give you the confidence needed, that's for sure. Good for you Dreams. The amount of time it takes isn't as important as the fact you got there :)
Thank you. @Minesweeper Queen you said your mom has the "Can't Say No" disease. I had it for a long time. I was a door mat. But not anymore :wink:
 

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Yeah, that's one of my pet peeves. I actually offended someone I went to school with, enough that they "unfriended" me on facebook, over my saying "Speak for yourself". I didn't consider it a great loss. :p
 

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Yeah, that's one of my pet peeves. I actually offended someone I went to school with, enough that they "unfriended" me on facebook, over my saying "Speak for yourself". I didn't consider it a great loss. :p
Seriously, haha!!...Good for you , stand your ground. Create your boundaries while you're young ;)
 
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I don't think I have a problem so much with people trying to speak over/for me.

My problem was with my mother who always spoke for me in a different sense. Volunteering me to help people that she wanted to help. Things like typing up other people's CVs, sorting out their computers for them, etc.

She had the "Can't Say No" disease. #shudders
Oh boy can i ever relate with that one, GRg. My dad used to pull the exact same stunt on me, volunteering my services. What about this one, going out to eat and having your date order for you...facepalm, that has happened with me in the past. Good thing the guy had money because he ended up paying for 3 meals. The two he ordered and the one i actually ate ;)
 

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I hate when people do that, and I do step in and am sure to make my OWN voice heard on my own behalf. If someone speaks for me, I will either correct them or elaborate on what they've said, making it clear that I know me better than they (or anyone else) knows me.

I'm not confrontational enough to directly tell people to cut it out, but typically when I don't stand for it, they stop. It doesn't bother me a huge deal anyway, because it's not like I can't step in and fix it myself. It only makes them look silly when I answer for myself, negating what they'd said.
 

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It's situational for me...depends on the circumstance and the person. I admit, I am biased towards people I like. If a friend or someone I care for spoke on my behalf, it wouldn't irritate me nearly as much as a person who annoys me, or I don't care for very much. I usually just say "hold on, I want to answer him/her" in either situation.
 

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It's situational for me...depends on the circumstance and the person. I admit, I am biased towards people I like. If a friend or someone I care for spoke on my behalf, it wouldn't irritate me nearly as much as a person who annoys me, or I don't care for very much. I usually just say "hold on, I want to answer him/her" in either situation.
Yes, my husband speaks for me all the time, for example, yes she wants extra butter on her popcorn, yep, give her hot fudge on her sundae Lol ( notice everything relates to food ;) So yes, people who know my habits and likes can speak for me. This was related with work, myself and another co-worker who specialize in two entirely different fields. Its like a mechanic answering an question that was asked to a scientist. Maybe not such a great example, although you get it :)
 
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Not a fan of it, but usually I just ignore it and don't react. When I display negative emotions, I have a tendency to cry, and I don't want to give them any satisfaction over a reaction.

I've been known to walk out of a room if somebody tries getting into my head.
 

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Not a fan of it, but usually I just ignore it and don't react. When I display negative emotions, I have a tendency to cry, and I don't want to give them any satisfaction over a reaction.

I've been known to walk out of a room if somebody tries getting into my head.
Yes, when i was a kid i used to do that too out of frustration. I still cry at times when i'm frustrated, so i know what you mean. As time goes on you may become more comfortable, or one of these days you will " snap "....i think that's what happened for me, i snapped one day many years ago, it felt good. These days i snarl, snap and give the ole evil eye ;)
 

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Yes, my husband speaks for me all the time, for example, yes she wants extra butter on her popcorn, yep, give her hot fudge on her sundae Lol ( notice everything relates to food ;) So yes, people who know my habits and likes can speak for me. This was related with work, myself and another co-worker who specialize in two entirely different fields. Its like a mechanic answering an question that was asked to a scientist. Maybe not such a great example, although you get it :)
One way you could probably deal with that is do the same thing to him. I've done this to people to demonstrate exactly what it is they are doing and the last time, he did not respond too well. I doubt he realized what I had done all the time. I'm sure I told him on more than one occasion "see, this is what you're doing to people, not nice is it?" This would only work on someone willing and capable of reflection even if you have to hold their hand to make them do so.
 

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Maybe crying is an Fi thing that mellows out once your Te bitch-slap has fully matured?

I know I get tears in my eyes when I talk about a really deep conviction I hold -- if I'm in feeling mode. If I'm in a more emotionally-distanced debate mode, focusing on finding holes in someone's argument and arguing dispassionately, I'm all right.

It's hard to get to that point of emotional distance when the issue directly affects you. But my Te is still wonky, I think. ;)
 

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One way you could probably deal with that is do the same thing to him. I've done this to people to demonstrate exactly what it is they are doing and the last time, he did not respond too well. I doubt he realized what I had done all the time. I'm sure I told him on more than one occasion "see, this is what you're doing to people, not nice is it?" This would only work on someone willing and capable of reflection even if you have to hold their hand to make them do so.
heh, no sweets, i don't mind when my husband does it. My issue is with people who don't know me well, or butt into things that are not asked of them. I don't mind it with people who i'm close with, i actually enjoy it because it means that they know me so well they can predict what i would want ( like the food example i gave )......although yeah, good idea. Next time someone butts into my conversation trying to speak for me, i will offer the same gesture when given the chance in return ;) Good for you, what you did was the right thing, sometimes you have to do that in order to show people how they behave :)
 
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