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Speaking the truth vs withholding info to maintain harmony: Te, Fe, Fi, Ti

973 views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  great_pudgy_owl 
#1 ·
Any type can speak the truth as well as evade it to keep everyone happy, but the major differences are found in the REASONS each type will do so, and I wanted to see if my interpretations of those reasons have any accuracy. From what I understand about the differences among Te, Fe, Fi, Ti, it seems like this is the common pattern I see:

Speaking the truth:
Te = Will do so because they believe in the importance of getting the truth out in order to ensure everyone's goals (including their own) are grounded in reality. Strong Te users believe that productivity and efficacy during the pursuit of one's goals can be maximized if one just accepts the truth for what it is, dealing with their own personal feelings about it so that they can be both happy and productive in the pursuit of their goals, without having to delude themselves.
Fi = Will do so because they believe in the importance of knowing the truth in order to avoid misguided perceptions when they stay true to themselves. Personal identity is important, so when strong Fi users speak the truth, it is most often influenced by an underlying goal to stay true to themselves and ensure their identity and personal values are not based on or swayed by false perceptions of reality.
Fe = Will do so because they believe the truth will ultimately be crucial in developing or maintaining the values others may hold. While they care about ensuring other people's feelings aren't hurt, they will still speak the truth because deep down, they understand that withholding the truth can threaten others people's well-being and possibly lead to the development of destructive values. Speaking the truth would ensure that other people develop values that are not only good for themselves, but also good for everyone else.
Ti = Will do so because they believe the truth will maximize their understanding about the world, their environment, and themselves. Achieving personal understanding of the reasons, methods, and implications of various concepts is important to strong Ti users, so their underlying reasons for speaking the truth are often grounded in their aim to maximize their knowledge and understanding.


Withholding info to maintain harmony:
Te = Will do so because they believe that disrupting harmony can be distracting and detrimental to their ability to stay committed to the task at hand, and thus counterproductive to achieving their goals. Maximizing success for one's goals and being a productive, steady-minded person are very important, so sometimes certain things can be left unsaid in order to avoid any hassles distractions with conflict.
Fi = Will do so because they believe their personal well-being may be threatened when harmony is disrupted. There may be certain people out there whom they fear dealing with when their personal beliefs clash, so they will keep quiet about certain things so that they could avoid feeling threatened during an argument, preserving outer harmony in order to preserve inner harmony.
Fe = Will do so because they strongly believe a harmonious environment where everyone is happy and getting along is one of the most important goals to achieve or maintain in life. They believe that disrupting harmony will be equally, if not more harmful to achieving an objective than disclosing certain info will be. They will be careful about what kind of info they are withholding, ensuring that whatever they are hiding will truly be effective in keeping everyone out of conflict while not being detrimental to the task at hand.
Ti = Will do so because they believe that disrupting harmony by sharing certain info will risk distorting their own understanding of the info they disclosed. In order to avoid becoming confused, they will keep the info to themselves and focus more on their own understanding rather than raise conflicts and risk becoming swayed by possible false perceptions others may have.

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Of course, everyone can have ALL of these reasons for doing either of these behaviors, but the main point is that there will be a certain reason that each person will adhere to most strongly. So what do you think? Do you agree with any of this, and does this hold true to you?
 
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#2 ·
The title of this is, in my mind, a textbook summation of the tension between Ti (internal logic & truth-telling) and Fe (collective harmony and emotional atmosphere).

The tension between Fi & Te is more like "this is how I feel, and what I think is important" vs "this is the task at hand".
 
#3 · (Edited)
Withholding info to maintain harmony:
Ti = Will do so because they believe that disrupting harmony by sharing certain info will risk distorting their own understanding of the info they disclosed. In order to avoid becoming confused, they will keep the info to themselves and focus more on their own understanding rather than raise conflicts and risk becoming swayed by possible false perceptions others may have.


when in situations where I have to talk to people I don't know well, I generally talk to their interests and abilities...this usually means I withhold my own thoughts, but not because I might risk "becoming confused", but because I might risk getting into arguments, dominating the conversation, coming across as a boor, etc


* this is one way you can distinguish between intps and ixtjs (especially intjs) who generally don't feel a need to adjust to others' interests and abilities (Fi vs Fe)...this is also why intjs can appear to be more intelligent than intps, viz, they don't compromise for the sake of social harmony
 
#4 ·
That's also true. Sometimes I tend to withhold my thoughts for the same reasons you stated, but Fi is more of an influencing factor for those reasons-- sometimes I just personally don't feel like/am not in the mood for dealing with any disruption in social harmony, not because I worry about the social harmony itself or how others will judge me. Usually, if I compromise for the sake of social harmony, it's because I'm just feeling lazy to deal with people, or because I feel personally incompetent to deal with any arguments.
 
#5 ·
Ti = Will do so because they believe the truth will maximize their understanding about the world, their environment, and themselves. Achieving personal understanding of the reasons, methods, and implications of various concepts is important to strong Ti users, so their underlying reasons for speaking the truth are often grounded in their aim to maximize their knowledge and understanding.

Ti = Will do so because they believe that disrupting harmony by sharing certain info will risk distorting their own understanding of the info they disclosed. In order to avoid becoming confused, they will keep the info to themselves and focus more on their own understanding rather than raise conflicts and risk becoming swayed by possible false perceptions others may have.

My Ti is filtered through Se but I'm a strong Ti user, even if I'm not a Ti-dom. I want to maximize my knowledge and understanding of the world around me. It's focused on my experiences but branches out from there. I speak the truth unless it doesn't serve my goals.
I withhold information at times, but that doesn't mean I'm worried about becoming confused. I withhold information when it runs counter to my goals. Such as my own purposes or those of someone I care about. I have a preference for the truth, but it's not too important if other people know the truth. I need to be truthful with myself. I know I appear brutal with myself to other people at times, but even if I pussyfoot around other people, I'm not going to do the same with myself.

Fe = Will do so because they believe the truth will ultimately be crucial in developing or maintaining the values others may hold. While they care about ensuring other people's feelings aren't hurt, they will still speak the truth because deep down, they understand that withholding the truth can threaten others people's well-being and possibly lead to the development of destructive values. Speaking the truth would ensure that other people develop values that are not only good for themselves, but also good for everyone else.

Fe = Will do so because they strongly believe a harmonious environment where everyone is happy and getting along is one of the most important goals to achieve or maintain in life. They believe that disrupting harmony will be equally, if not more harmful to achieving an objective than disclosing certain info will be. They will be careful about what kind of info they are withholding, ensuring that whatever they are hiding will truly be effective in keeping everyone out of conflict while not being detrimental to the task at hand.

As a tertiary function, Fe acts as a restraint for me. Se-Ti can often just blurt out the truth without giving much thought to the consequences. Most often, it is Fe that has me withholding the truth. I can't be offending people all the time.
 
#6 ·
The "speaking the truth" section sounds accurate. My understanding of the world is entirely limited to what I choose to accept or explore, and I rather accept a truth than willing keep myself in the dark.

However, I still withhold a lot of information. For a lot of people, questioning a long-held belief, even if it's as small as something they once heard in third grade, is uncomfortable. A person who does that during a casual conversation is potentially trying to start an argument for no reason, even if that wasn't the intention.

So I would love to share information, since my goal in life is to come to a better understanding; even though others will have false information, they often have reasons for why they believe it's correct, just as I do with my own. Unfortunately, there's no point in "speaking the truth" if it's going to fall on unsettled, annoyed, defensive, or angered ears.

Better to let them believe what they want to believe, unless they otherwise show signs that they care more about learning...or one us going to suffer some serious hurt if the understanding doesn't change.
 
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