So, I'm currently taking a module in critical reading in college which allocates 15% to class participation, and yesterday was our first three-hour seminar of the semester. It wasn't a memorable experience. =(
The class of 15 people took the first hour to warm up to the prospect of being assessed according to their degree of participation, before they began clambering over each other for their turn to speak. The discussion was centred on the close reading of unprepared material. Now, because I understand that I'm certainly not one to demand attention to myself especially during an academic setting, I found myself at a sheer loss at to how to navigate my way through the tenacious hand-raising and fierce argumentation that arose during the discussion. While I did have something to say, I either a) thought it wasn't substantial enough, and hence held it back, or b) waited my turn to say it and next thing I know, we're on to a different topic. Well, needless to say, even though I was very much engaged in the class with my nods and other 'acquiescing' noises, the professor prompted me with a request for a response while highlighting that I hadn't said anything the entire class. I was utterly mortified and rendered speechless. She made a side-joke about something else to ease the awkwardness, before giving up and asking for responses from the floor. I've always adhered to social protocols to avoid embarrassing circumstances, but this time, I could not save myself, heh.
As a strong INFJ, I've never been an impromptu speaker, much less a public one. Not socially awkward either, and in fact, I carry myself quite confidently with a sound diction and a keen sensitivity to the social climate. It pains me to be thought less of intellectually by others just because I lack verbal spontaneity. It's as though my Ni and Ti functions reflexively shut down upon a converging scrutiny by the class, and my mind draws a blank. It was a horrible experience and I've been trying not to replay it in memory even now. =/
I'm sure quite a number of us grapple with having to make our literal voice known when situations demand it. How has everyone else managed with speaking out in class especially when due time has not been given for preparation?
The class of 15 people took the first hour to warm up to the prospect of being assessed according to their degree of participation, before they began clambering over each other for their turn to speak. The discussion was centred on the close reading of unprepared material. Now, because I understand that I'm certainly not one to demand attention to myself especially during an academic setting, I found myself at a sheer loss at to how to navigate my way through the tenacious hand-raising and fierce argumentation that arose during the discussion. While I did have something to say, I either a) thought it wasn't substantial enough, and hence held it back, or b) waited my turn to say it and next thing I know, we're on to a different topic. Well, needless to say, even though I was very much engaged in the class with my nods and other 'acquiescing' noises, the professor prompted me with a request for a response while highlighting that I hadn't said anything the entire class. I was utterly mortified and rendered speechless. She made a side-joke about something else to ease the awkwardness, before giving up and asking for responses from the floor. I've always adhered to social protocols to avoid embarrassing circumstances, but this time, I could not save myself, heh.
As a strong INFJ, I've never been an impromptu speaker, much less a public one. Not socially awkward either, and in fact, I carry myself quite confidently with a sound diction and a keen sensitivity to the social climate. It pains me to be thought less of intellectually by others just because I lack verbal spontaneity. It's as though my Ni and Ti functions reflexively shut down upon a converging scrutiny by the class, and my mind draws a blank. It was a horrible experience and I've been trying not to replay it in memory even now. =/
I'm sure quite a number of us grapple with having to make our literal voice known when situations demand it. How has everyone else managed with speaking out in class especially when due time has not been given for preparation?