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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I stole this from the ISTP thread.:tongue:

What comes more naturally for you, speaking your mind, or fliying under the radar.

For those of you who know me here know i speak my mind. Although in reality i modify what i say much more than i do here, yet still staying true to my thoughts. The consequences for my behavior is much different in reality, therefore i give myself the freedom to say what is " really on my mind " here ;) Yes i know there is a way to get a point across without hurting other people. Direct straight up communiction can appear harsh and cold, so in these times, communcation can be taken out of context. Personally if i'm speaking in a direct tone i don't like to sugar coat my thoughts.

I've also been in situations that i didn't express my thoughts, in the bigger picture it has come back to bite me in the ass, so therefore i believe if its on my mind, say it. I do know people who don't express what they really think about issues. What ends up happening is people walk all over them and don't take them seriously. Also if people are too agreeable it makes them appear fake and insincere. Having your own voice is attractive, and if you have to be heard by standing alone, that's o.k too.

What about you ?


EDIT : Just so people don't get the wrong impression , i wasn't speaking in terms of confrontation. I don't want you to confuse having your own voice with picking battles. Speaking you mind so you can be heard, and not afraid to share you opinion with others, even if you know that not everyone will agree. I should have made that clear in my post. Having your own voice in my opinion is being able to think for yourself without fear of the outcome. And from my experience this is done in a positive way, not negative :)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Definitely speaking my mind, unless I find myself in a hostile environment, then I might actually bite my tongue to size things up a bit (a relatively recent skill I have acquired after putting my foot in my mouth a gazillion times).
Oh yes, i've been there with foot in mouth. Thankfully i don't take myself at all seriously, at the end of the day i can laugh at myself.
 

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I express my opinions freely on issues that are concerning or important to me, and I'm often not intimidated by who I'm speaking with. Criticism on the other hand is more difficult for me to dish out. Whenever I do find myself criticizing someone (and I rarely intend any malice), feelings always get hurt and I'm automatically considered an asshole. So I tend to keep my mouth shut if I don't have anything positive to say. This stands true even if I'm being antagonized, which I react to by calmly loading thought guns and locking eyes until the person stands down (or demonstrate they want a bullet). More than anything, I hate having to point out to people when they have made mistakes.
 

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I can fly under the radar when needed. It's kind of fun x) When I feel free and on top of the world (like usual :p), I pretty much just say whatever's on my mind. There are times that it's wise to just sit back, be quiet, and observe, and there are times that call for immediate action. Trying to decipher what wisdom is depending on the situation can be the tough part. I'll usually think about the manner in which I want to voice my opinion, but sometimes I just let 'er rip :p I guess it depends on my mood, lol. Back on topic x) In summary, I'm moreso one to speak my mind.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I can fly under the radar when needed. It's kind of fun x) When I feel free and on top of the world (like usual :p), I pretty much just say whatever's on my mind. There are times that it's wise to just sit back, be quiet, and observe, and there are times that call for immediate action. Trying to decipher what wisdom is depending on the situation can be the tough part. I'll usually think about the manner in which I want to voice my opinion, but sometimes I just let 'er rip :p I guess it depends on my mood, lol. Back on topic x) In summary, I'm moreso one to speak my mind.
Yes i agree. You know sometimes it pays to sit back and watch others bury themselves without having to contribute to anything. I pick and choose my battles too. Athough speaking you mind isn't necessarilty always in a confrontational way. I often speak my mind that never leads, or doedn't have confrontational intentions. I think some people may see it as being confrontational, although it really depends on the topic and who your speaking with. Most of my inner circle is NT. They dont' see it as confrontational, only some clean fun banter.
 

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Yes i agree. You know sometimes it pays to sit back and watch others bury themselves without having to contribute to anything. I pick and choose my battles too. Athough speaking you mind isn't necessarilty always in a confrontational way. I often speak my mind that never leads, or doedn't have confrontational intentions. I think some people may see it as being confrontational, although it really depends on the topic and who your speaking with. Most of my inner circle is NT. They dont' see it as confrontational, only some clean fun banter.
Oh, definitely! We're on the same page here x) Most of my inner circle consists of NTs as well. It's definitely fun! :)
 

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I do a bit of both. I also choose my battles wisely (unless I'm hormonal, in which case...RUN!) I think, the older I get, the more confident I am becoming at voicing my opinions without 'sugar-coating' them.

I generally find it very difficult to connect very well with 'passive' people. This usually ends up becoming an issue for me as I feel I am unable to speak my mind without 'hurting' them (and then their behaviour, quite frankly, annoys the hell out of me!)

I don't have much time for overally agressive people either. I will generally avoid debating or getting into heated discussions with them as we often tend to wind each other up and get nowhere.

I love assertive people! I think this is the fairest, most mature and healthiest way to be. This is the way I like people to approach discussions with me, so I try to practice the same myself.

I will admit thought that I am prone to my irrational emotional outburts. I'm definitely not perfect! :wink:
 
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Good thread Mucha :)

For me it really varies based on mood, expected outcome/consequences, my position within the group, and whether or not I want to bother. In general I would say that I speak my mind, but I have no trouble keeping my mouth shut when the perceived benefits don't outweigh the risks. Unless of course I'm in a really good mood, then forget about it heh.
 

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I try to speak my mind and be as open and honest as possible.
I used to be reaaaally outspoken but that didn't always end well, haha.

Then again, there's been times when I haven't felt accepted and done a complete flip into shrinking-violet mode :( That's probably more of a shyness thing though, rather than wanting to 'fly under the radar.' BUT I'm growing in confidence now and I'm sure I'll find a balance soon enough. C:

If it's something important to me, you'll know about it.

Authority doesn't really change much either, as far as intimidation is concerned. Why should it?
 

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@MuChApArAdOx

Yes, I agree. I usually think a ton about what I say before I speak... but whenever there's injustice, I always say something BRUTAL. I can be very blunt and direct when I give my opinions because, well... I have "layers," like the Earth's crust.. In a metaphorical sense. Let me explain:

The outer layer is my warm, fakey wakey side. That is the small talk, the shallow compliments, the "Hey, I like your hair," the fake smile, the actions that are comfortable to me, the "Tell a joke!" moments, etc. This is the side that I am the nicest, fakest, and I usually show this to people I don't know well to make myself comfortable in the situation.

The next layer is my colder monotoneish side. That is where I basically just develop sarcastic, cold things to say while out of it in a conversation. This is usually when I'm tired, sad, etc. This is where I'm in a terrible mood and I appear to be a whole different type.

The near-middle is my gut, my weird suspicions of people that ends in telling myself to shut up, my having a connection to a person without even knowing them. IE I can totally read people and I just rant about it, throwing out random thoughts about how they could be, if I like them, what they're thinking, etc... This is the side that I don't show to anyone.

Then, you have my true self. This is the side that usually I do show. This is the courage, standing up for injustice, getting things together, making a difference, not caring what others think of me, staying true to myself, etc. This is the view I use when I write stories, poetry, draw, etc. This is where I can paint a picture and think of what meaning it has to me. This is where I think about how I can change the world. This is where I stand up for myself. This is where I go all motivational speaker on people because I just talk and talk and TALK about things I think of. This is the part where I analyze myself to the point of confusing myself. This is the part where I just totally rip everything apart basically.

Make sense?
 

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once i feel it's ok to let my guard down i'll say whatever comes to mind, i hate filtering so most of the time i don't say much to people i'm not comfortable with.
 

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If there's a reason to, I speak my mind. If all it would do is hurt people or make a situation awkward, I keep quiet.
 

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It seems to me that ENFPs only really need to speak our minds when it becomes a cause. >< I worked with the census in 2010 and I might have gotten a little feisty over some really stupid rules...I hate bureaucracy so much. >.> I was actually ready to call up and yell at the head census bureau office for things like going back 3 times to knock on the slab of concrete where a motor home used to be before you could go talk to the lot manager. -.-
 

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I fly under the radar... Might be an enneagram type 9 thing - not wanting the rock the boat or say the wrong thing or make someone feel bad.
I feel really really bad if any of those things happen...

However, with people who are open-minded or if I really know something then it will come out.
I dont' do that often with people who discuss things based on faith or opinion and try to pass it off as fact.

Best thing is to be really quiet and then say something that is extremely relevant or insightful - love those WTF? moments.
 

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This thread reminds me of something I read recently about "Asker vs. Guesser Culture"*. Judging from the replies so far and my own experience I conjecture not everyone fits convenient into either of these two categories in all situations... I probably tend to "Guess" more than I'd like to admit...

I do find myself often not saying anything if I don't have anything good to say, but sometimes it can bite me in the butt later, agreed! Also I've learned to that it is important to find the right audience instead of just spilling your guts to everyone, but I still tend to err on loose lipped-ness when not making requests... (will I ever learn! :proud:)

*
Askers vs Guessers
In some families, you grow up with the expectation that it's OK to ask for anything at all, but you gotta realize you might get no for an answer. This is Ask Culture.

In Guess Culture, you avoid putting a request into words unless you're pretty sure the answer will be yes. Guess Culture depends on a tight net of shared expectations. A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won't even have to make the request directly; you'll get an offer. Even then, the offer may be genuine or pro forma; it takes yet more skill and delicacy to discern whether you should accept.
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/19730/
 
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