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Discussion Starter #1
Fours tend to over-identify with their shadows making it difficult to see what's good about themselves.
I started to realize that everything I said out loud was starting to sound very negative, so I decided that along with daily gratitude journal entry, I would also state one thing that I sincerely like about my personality.
So far I've only done three entries like that but I feel like it could help in the long run.

So what do you guys like about your personality (it doesn't have to be 4 related). Feel free to post as many times as you like :)
 

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I literally do not particularly like anything about my personality. That doesn't mean I think I'm completely rotten and have no positive attributes - just none really worth mentioning, or that don't come along with flaws and catches. For example, I'm not horrified with the fact I am empathetic, analytical, sensitive, whatever. Just, it's nothing special, or at least it's never enough to make me lovable in lieu of my defects. As much as I wish it were and trick myself into striving towards it (sometimes (not always) to unhealthy extents or for unhealthy reasons).

Same with my physical appearance. I am okay with how I look as a whole (while also managing to be deeply insecure somehow), but I have not a single physical attribute I can point to and say I'm particularly happy with it.

Anything good I have, I can find a better version of it on someone else.

So I guess that's one reason why I try to focus on being ethical and true to what I believe in, since my personality/existence is such a shame. I like to think of that as some sort of integration to One, the only problem being that I'm still completely insecure and self-absorbed about my image/what others see anyway. Working on it.

I would love to see other Fours mention personality traits they genuinely like about themselves.
 

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Right, well I left this thread here for two days and the uplifting exercise I proposed turned into a pit of despair.
I'm pretty sure that you can think anything to death, like the annoying person who insists on reinterpreting every good deed as selfish to prove that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed.
I kind of see fours as being stuck inside a box which represents their identity. They only see darkness because they're stuck in their own skin, but from the outside, the box could be useful or ornate or maybe just a simple box. None of that is as evil as the darkness the four sees on the inside.

I'll start then:
I really like my genuine awkwardness and the edge it gives to my personality. Other people seem to find it endearing or at least funny and it generally puts them at ease. Granted, awkwardness never feels great when it's happening, but accepting it simply gives me things to laugh about in the future.
 

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I feel like no one else sees or values my good qualities, at least for a personal relationship, so it doesn't matter how much good I see in myself. I know it isnt true, as I obviously have friends, have had romantic partners, etc, but there is a part of me that wonders WHY or feels like at some point they will tire of me and my good qualities won't be enough to keep them around.

Ok..since you asked for a list...

Patient - in many ways I feel restless, an impatience with my overall circumstances, but people mostly consider me to be a very patient person. I have a calming effect on children and animals.

Understanding / empathetic - not everyone sees this. Some of my family thinks I am unfeeling even, and they often see my most critical side, which is indeed harsh. But to other friends and acquaintances, I am exceptionally understanding, and so I sometimes find myself acting as a therapist of sorts to them.

Insightful - again, I hear I have insight into human motivations and emotions, as well as spiritual concepts. In contrast, I can be oblivious or dismissive of social protocol, which I find puzzling or just stupid.

Altruistic - I use my time and energy and resources to do a volunteer work that is like counseling/mentoring. It is similar to how I act as a unofficial therapist to people, but more so in a spiritual sense

Book-smart - this mostly annoys other people, but I enjoy my own intellect :D

Creative / imaginative - I hear this a lot from people, so it appears it is just how my personality comes across, as these people haven't necessarily seen anything I've created or been told anything I've imagined. I don't feel like people value this much for relationships, although it helps me make a living.

Witty - I can be pretty witty among close associates when I have energy. I will quip a lot, make wry observations, be silly, etc.

Independent / Individual - I like this about myself. I like being my own person. However, it can alienate me and make others respond negatively to me.

I realized some time ago that I rather like myself, but I still don't feel likable to others. It's similar to how I like licorice, but am aware that it is not a popular flavor....
 

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Alright, let's see... I like that I'm creative, independent, intelligent, idealistic, empathetic, good at writing, decent at singing, individualistic, curious, and witty/sarcastic. There's actually a lot of things I like about myself, but I think my problem is that I try not to acknowledge the good things very often because I don't want others to think I'm being egotistical/narcissistic.
 

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I don't know if I'm a 4 or not but I have it in my tritype at least...anyway here are things I like about myself:

--I usually have a balanced understanding of people because I'm a good listener and consider different perspectives.
--I'm creative and get satisfaction from writing, making music, and performing.
--I have done a good job of making improvements in how I relate to people over the past several years. I'm a lot more helpful, uninhibited, and less self-centered than before. I've also started accepting myself and being on my own side (as well as other people's).
--I learn things quickly, which is nice for when I want to pick up a new skill, like how I've been learning piano the past two years or for when I want to procrastinate in class and only study the night before.
--I want to be a good person, and I make that a priority. Who knows if I really achieve it consistently--but I apologize when I've done something wrong, even when I maybe don't need to, I respect other people (and if I realize I haven't, I make amends), and I go out of my way to help people if I can.
--My roommate told me that I'm charismatic when I'm not anxious.

I feel a little self conscious like my list is too long, but I figure life is short so I might as well try to like myself. It's a lot easier at times like now when I'm not that depressed. (At other times I get very very down on myself.)
 

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Right, well I left this thread here for two days and the uplifting exercise I proposed turned into a pit of despair.
I'm pretty sure that you can think anything to death, like the annoying person who insists on reinterpreting every good deed as selfish to prove that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed.
Well, I hate when people make that basic, utilitarian argument (at least when its done to be cynical). Mostly as I think it exhibits premature or cowardly resignation and a lack of creativity/critical thinking... (I mean, gosh, maybe ultimately it's even true on some level but that doesn't mean it's that simple, or that there's no value to good deeds etc).

But then again, I'm being just as prematurely/cowardly resigned when it comes to daring to love myself.

I tried to think about things I genuinely like about myself, and I wish I could.

I kind of see fours as being stuck inside a box which represents their identity. They only see darkness because they're stuck in their own skin, but from the outside, the box could be useful or ornate or maybe just a simple box. None of that is as evil as the darkness the four sees on the inside.
But genuine question - what if it's not that I (or anyone who might relate) see a whole lot of "evil", but rather just a lack of literally anything good enough/worth mentioning? IS THERE TRULY A WAY TO FIX THIS? There must be.

I'll try something. I like that I can, if needed, think of many different creative solutions to mostly any problem or question, and can improvise very well. Problem is that I get very stubborn and negative and sometimes kind of "opt" not to do so. I shut down and spiral too easily.

BUT WHEN THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, it's a strength.

Sometimes people get annoyed at how rapidly I fire off different ideas/brainstorming things, largely because I seem to sound as if I'm making statements instead of just analyzing out loud, but you know what? Screw it. I'm kind of intense but I'm open and fluid and this is how I process shit.

I like my ear for music and rhythm, and my strong affinity for words and language. My good long term memory. If for no other reason than that it enriches my own experience in life, even if I wouldn't go around claiming that it somehow makes me genuinely interesting in some way. I am glad that I am sensitive and have compassion and am willing to delve into complex psychological, hypothetical, or creative dilemmas.... though I should get better about actually applying anything to the real world.

I don't think "being kind" should be a sort of exceptional quality, but I can be kind. I like that I am not unkind, though I do see myself as exceedingly selfish and burdensome. Hahahaha. Okay, sorry.




I really like my genuine awkwardness and the edge it gives to my personality. Other people seem to find it endearing or at least funny and it generally puts them at ease. Granted, awkwardness never feels great when it's happening, but accepting it simply gives me things to laugh about in the future.
That is awesome and inspiring and I'm glad you can feel that way. I hope I can get to that point with myself, someday :)
 

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I have been coming to terms with myself recently so this thread is nice. I've made peace with parts of myself and started to feel more comfortable with just being me. So here are some of the things enjoy about myself:

Honest: I'm unapologetically honest and straight forward. I don't like dishonesty and I can not tolerate cloudy behavior. I like to think people deserve the truth from me. I still need to work on being honest in a way that doesn't hurt people, though. I have been WAY too blunt about things and have hurt people without knowing. :/

Individualistic: This is something I really value. I am also unapologetically myself. Me. I don't feel the need to conform to anything, nor do I need to change myself for the sake of others. Nah. This does ruin some potential friendships/relationships but if they can't accept me for who I am, it becomes their problem and not mine.

Perseverant: This is something a close friend pointed out. If something doesn't go through or work out as I want it to, I try not to give up. I always end up crying/bitching about it but I always pick myself back up and go again for it.

Empathetic and supportive: Those I care about know that they have my undivided attention. You are welcome to rant to me and talk to me about your problems. I can easily understand and feel the emotions of those close to me. I never judge them nor do I try to advise them (unless they specifically ask for advice). It could be 2am in the morning, my close friends could call me and I'd pick up. I am here to listen. :)

Creative: Well the industry I am in is centered around being a creative conceptual thinker. I am even formally trained in this LOL. I can brain storm easily and have tons of ideas. It's cool I get to rake in $$ from being creative :B

Fun and openminded: Hell yeah, despite the fact that 4s are supposedly all sulky and sad, I can actually be a fun person to hang around. I've heard this from many people. It may be the 7 fix..... or it may not be.

I also like how I have good taste in aesthetics haha.

I have a cold and my brain is fried so it's hard to think of more right now.
 

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This is kind of hard for reasons stated before but I'll try to find a couple of things! This is definitely a good thread idea for us fours xD.

I like how I'm always very honest with myself and I won't try to hide the truth or deceive myself in any way.
I like how I'm mostly very empathetic and supportive of other people.
I like how I can be quite cheerful and I'm not always very sad.
I like how I'm very perseverant and once I've fully commited, I can make a lot of things happen.
I like how I'm very very good at expressing myself through art and words.
I like how I'm not scared to defy tradition.
 

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Well developed sense of humor. Ability to take anything and laugh... but its downfall is that sometimes when I need to take things seriously, I don't. But humor is so important to me. Maybe I have developed this sense of playfulness and laughter at everything in order to cope with things that I cannot understand. It comes up a lot when someone is trying to get to know me on a deeper level. I have a hard time letting people in. So I make them laugh as a form of evasion or distraction. Being deeply serious, even if that is a part of me, makes me feel so vulnerable and so uncomfortable.
 

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Ugh, this is going to sound so self-absorbed and narcissistic, but I'll participate because it's good to admire the positive qualities in yourself every once in a while. :wink:

- I am artistic. I draw/paint and am trying to make a living out of it. My art is a mix of realism, fantasy, and surrealism.

- I have a very intricate imagination. One of my favorite things is daydreaming for this reason. It's also fun to see your imagination come to life through a painting.

- I have a good sense of humor. I love anything that can make me laugh too. It's not only stress-reducing, but a great way to bring life to the otherwise mundanities of life.

- I am independent-minded. I hate doing what other people are doing just for the sake of it and always question everything. I have to have an identity that separates me from other people.

- I have a unique sense of dressing that reflects my personality.

- I have an eclectic taste in many things: music, films, art, etc.

- I am very forgiving. If I get in an argument or if someone was just rude to me, I can find ways to forgive them, even though it would still sting inside. I understand that sometimes it's just best to make amends instead of holding grudges.

- I am open-minded. I would be the person who could be friends with anyone regardless of their cultural background, political identity, etc. I understand everyone has their own set of beliefs and is an individual in their own right.

*ends narcissistic adulation and goes back to being a woe-is-me, self-pitying e4 again* :tongue:
 

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I like that I'm nice, kind and caring...
I like that I'm slightly intelligent.

I like that I can be very happy around people and connect to them on a deep level.
I like that I am trustworthy and people tend to trust me and they tend to tell me a lot of things about them to me.

I like that I can be very loving and happy - when I am.
I like that I can sometimes feel the beauty and spirituality of this world and humanity.
I like that I can sense and appreciate beauty.
I like that I am open-minded and easy-going.

Those are buried by a million other things that I don't like about myself...
 
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