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Discussion Starter #1
As an INFP, I find myself caring for something (or someone) far too much than I really should. I was just getting good at controlling my feelings and now they're everywhere... I can't help but think and obsess over things and certain people over and over again. When I'm a friend to someone, I'm their BEST friend... When I'm a lover to someone, I'm already thinking about walking to the ends of the Earth for them and it's just not healthy at all to be this way. I hate it. Or I stress out over my issues way too much.

It's like I'm living under fire all the time. I wish I could just chill out.

How do you deal with these feelings, INFPs?
 

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echoing what everyone else has said, yes.

I'm attempting to move on with my life at the moment, after falling in love with the wrong guy. But constantly thinking about him and obsessing about being together in a different universe makes that goal next to impossible.

Any solutions, I'm all ears.
 

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And you know you're doing it to yourself, but that knowledge solves nothing because you still can't break out of the panic spiral....
 

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I'm just like that, but, I have found a couple little tricks. most of them involve distractions, since I am prone to being distracted and finding or making projects out of thin air that usually end up unresolved weeks later...

the best things i've been able to do are:
1. get into a serious habit of letting go and trusting things to happen. don't get lazy and stop caring though.
2. meditation is tremendous for me, as it helps me develop the ability to not think about what is stressing me, and to just look inward, be quiet, and not listen to myself worry. an hour a day, srsly, it does wonders. i guess exercise does this too. when i get on my bike, all i focus on is riding and not wrecking, and it takes my mind off the stress of whatever else.
3. distract yourself from that stuff, if you can, sometimes EVERYTHING brings me back to the girl I'm crushing on at that moment. I mean, like EVERYTHING. The best fight against that is something that forces me to focus on something else, like driving, mountain biking, running, climbing, or other dangerous/potentially dangerous things (motorcycling). sometimes art projects can steal my focus especially if i have a great idea i need to express... but that can trigger over-thinking which can get me back to the trouble thoughts.
 

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It's like I'm living under fire all the time. I wish I could just chill out.

How do you deal with these feelings, INFPs?
I could tell you what it's like to be the opposite, @ForsakenMe, but you wouldn't believe me. Just like I don't know what it's like to be you. I wish I could just know. I wish I could just warm up, and I'm trying. I try so very hard. How do I deal with this natural predilection to just...meh. I don't know.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I could tell you what it's like to be the opposite, @ForsakenMe, but you wouldn't believe me. Just like I don't know what it's like to be you. I wish I could just know. I wish I could just warm up, and I'm trying. I try so very hard. How do I deal with this natural predilection to just...meh. I don't know.
I think that INTPs can share a lot of great advice for INFPs and vice versa. Especially when it comes to the matters of the heart... INTPs can show INFPs to take a chill pill, and INFPs can refute by telling them to think with their hearts a little more. (I'm not calling anybody heartless, lol.)
 

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I think, if you care about someone, you somewhat distrust in their ability to care about themselfes. This verdict may be right in some situations but it most definitly is not right all the time.
 

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MOTM January 2013
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Like @kyliecarefree mentioned, you shouldn't have to change something that comes so naturally to you. Don't hate your natural sensitivity, its an amazing quality to have, its just that some people don't deserve to receive that part of you, it should be saved for those that truly deserve to experience it. Be careful who you give your heart to. And love that fact that you have a good heart and are not a cold fish.
And give that book a go, it really is a good read!
 

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Discussion Starter #15
There is a good friend of mine who does appreciate my sensitivity. She also understands why I look so intimidating during work hours. (Yeah, I know right, an INFP being intimidating? But it happens!) It's because I shut others out and protect my vulnerabilities towards those who are fake in my eyes. With her, though, she knows how much I cry over her, over other peoples problems, over my own issues... And she is also sensitive when she sees me down. I'm happy to say that I've finally found those "great friends" that people talk about but rarely ever find. ^^
 

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@ForsakenMe I can definantley relate. It's like on the outside, I'm cool calm and collected, but inside I'm all over the place, just trying to keep it all together. I like how you put it, living under fire that's exactly how I feel. Like inside is this raging inferno of intense emotions. Honestly this past month or so has been nothing but a whirlwind of emotions for me.

I've tried everything, sleeping it off, escaping from it with liqour, friends, tv ect. stuffing them away and trying to hide from them. Nothing, just more emotions, some of the most intense feelings I've felt my whole life. I really don't know what the answer is but I'm getting sick of it -it is so draining, so maddening. But the other night I felt empty for the first time. Maybe I'm just so burned out from feeling that I feel nothing at all. I don't know if that's progress or not though... Anyways, goodluck. It's hard to just shut off feeling and caring so deeply. :(
 
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