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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hello there! I'm an INFJ and I'm straight edge. I've been straight edge my entire life and it is my own personal choice. I am not this way for religious reasons, to rebel, or to please anyone. I do it for myself because I know I don't need any drugs, alcohol, or promiscuous sex to have a fulfilling life. I have a great life! I am a caregiver to my mother, I work in a hospital, I have the best older sister in the world, I am going to school to become a doctor, I love taking action towards improving the environment, I love to plan parties, I am a child at heart, I have a wacky fashion sense, I love going to shows/concerts and meeting bands, and I love people watching. I'm strict with myself because I've seen some of the horrible things that can happen to people who spiral down a bad path. It scares me, but what scares me the most is how much it affects relationships with family and friends. It is so disappointing to see people I know go down this path.

I'm a freshman at a small liberal arts college double majoring in Premedicine/Biology and Spanish and minoring in Gender and Women's Studies. I am a serious student but I don't just sit in my room all day and not socialize. I love people and I love getting to know fantabulously interesting people ^_^. The problem is I have had a really hard time getting to know a lot of people because I put up a shield until I trust people, which takes a lot gain. I have several friends and I will be living with someone really awesome next semester, but I have a hard time finding guys who are also straight edge or even non-excessive drinkers. I sometimes feel like I'm in crazy town and like I'm the only one. I don't see a problem with other people having an occasion drink. I'm not completely against drinking, but it is absolutely ridiculous here. There are rules for all of the freshman housing to be completely dry and yet these rules aren't enforced at all. Underage drinking is allowed everyone on campus except the academic buildings and the freshman housing (not that I agree with underage drinking anywhere is a great idea but atleast it's a start). It's sooooo ridiculous here. I have a class size of about 450something freshmen and every weekend several people are sent to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped. It's disgusting so some people act but most of all it's very sad. St. Patrick's Day was by-far the worst day I've ever seen on my campus. There were people "pregaming" at 6am before classes. People were showing up drunk to classes. There were actually people who had the nerve to sign into study group to get the extra credit and then leave several minutes later to continue drinking. After I was walking back to my dorm from campus I realized I was being followed by someone on my floor who was clearly drunk and high. His shirt was covered in sweat and vomit and he looked like he was zombie walking behind me. I was FREAKED OUT! I finally got to my dorm and he was just standing in front of my dorm as I closed and locked it. I hid in my room because I was terrified and it sounded like someone (the drunk and high guy) was destroying the hallway (which he was). I opened my door to see my whiteboard ripped off of my door, my name tag that my RA made me ripped in half, the trashcans were thrown down the hallway, and it looked like a tornado hit the hall. Even the bulletin boards with upcoming activities and important contact information were destroyed! Eventually this guy was found stumbling down the hallway by my RA and campus security and the EMT came to help him but it was so scary. The police arrived shortly to arrest him. The police found out that he was high on LSD and they found pot, LSD, drug paraphernalia, and scales to weigh drugs in this guy's room. The ridiculous thing was that he was back at school the next day and he was only suspended for the rest of the semester, which is almost over now anyway.

It's terrible because I have to suffer because I am directly affected by these people. My stuff is being ruined! I am being terrorized by crazy drunk and/or high people and I should not have to deal with this kind of crap because my family is paying way too much money that we can't afford for this. I have tried talking to higher authority in my college about these things and what they can do to change it and the best they have said is "we are doing our best to stop this. Thank you for your concern." They are trying to silence people like me and it is driving me crazy. I don't believe that the "college experience" is an excuse for all of this. My school basically pays off the cops in the area because they don't want our school to get a bad reputation because it is the main source of income for the community, so if this school gets hurt then everyone in the area gets hurt. Has anyone (of any personality type) experienced anything like this? Please tell me I'm not alone here. :frustrating:
 

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Hey first of all I want to say sorry about all of this. Nobody deserve to go through this and I understand where your coming from. I graduated from college about six months ago and I didn't live on campus because of stuff like this. I was wondering, how far away you live from your college?

I use to drink ALOT when I was in college and I wasn't a drinker before. I guess you could say I hung out with the wrong crowd. I'm 21 now and don't even drink anymore. Even on my 21st birthday I didn't drink. It does drive me crazy that all I see is people wanted to get drunk and all. Hopefully living with a new roommate will help you out. With the guys, you need to be honest with yourself and just be careful. I have a hard time with guys too because I don't party or drink so I understand where your coming from.

Try not to let these people bother you. Does your college offer online classes? I did that during my final semester and it helped so much since I can stay away from the negative crowd.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Hey first of all I want to say sorry about all of this. Nobody deserve to go through this and I understand where your coming from. I graduated from college about six months ago and I didn't live on campus because of stuff like this. I was wondering, how far away you live from your college?

I use to drink ALOT when I was in college and I wasn't a drinker before. I guess you could say I hung out with the wrong crowd. I'm 21 now and don't even drink anymore. Even on my 21st birthday I didn't drink. It does drive me crazy that all I see is people wanted to get drunk and all. Hopefully living with a new roommate will help you out. With the guys, you need to be honest with yourself and just be careful. I have a hard time with guys too because I don't party or drink so I understand where your coming from.

Try not to let these people bother you. Does your college offer online classes? I did that during my final semester and it helped so much since I can stay away from the negative crowd.
Thank you very much for replying to my thread. It means to a lot to me to know that I'm not alone. Congrats about graduating six months ago! Unfortunately, my college doesn't offer online classes and I will be applying to medical school in a few years and they won't accept credit from online classes. I really like going to classes and I really love the material that I'm learning (although it's really really really difficult and frustrating more often than not). I'm scared that I won't find any nice guys here, especially since I'm naturally attracted to "smart-ass" guys. I am always very true to myself and I feel like it might be scaring people away, which is strange to me because I'm not about to change. It just often makes me question people's own ability to shown their personality, even if it means going against what is "the normal way."
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Hey first of all I want to say sorry about all of this. Nobody deserve to go through this and I understand where your coming from. I graduated from college about six months ago and I didn't live on campus because of stuff like this. I was wondering, how far away you live from your college?

I use to drink ALOT when I was in college and I wasn't a drinker before. I guess you could say I hung out with the wrong crowd. I'm 21 now and don't even drink anymore. Even on my 21st birthday I didn't drink. It does drive me crazy that all I see is people wanted to get drunk and all. Hopefully living with a new roommate will help you out. With the guys, you need to be honest with yourself and just be careful. I have a hard time with guys too because I don't party or drink so I understand where your coming from.

Try not to let these people bother you. Does your college offer online classes? I did that during my final semester and it helped so much since I can stay away from the negative crowd.
Also, I live about an hour away from my campus which isn't too far but I don't have a car and I still need to get my license :(
 

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You are very welcome! I can totally relate to you so much. And thanks :) Well that sucks since it might help you out a bit but I am also the type that rather go to class too.

Well don't be scared since I believe we all have somebody out there waiting for us. Have you thought about joining a group outside of school in your community? Do you work? I know it hard to meet people and I'm surprise myself how I end up dating but taking those small steps will help out a lot. I'm not sure if your comfortable doing online dating but that another option too.

Guys are scared of women who are truly confidence in themselves. Trust me. I'm one of those haha. Not all guys though but the ones I ran across with believe women should be weaker which I think is false. You shouldn't have to change for anybody. Only you can change yourself if you want to, not anyone else. There are nice guys in this world, you just need to tell yourself you will find someone and stay positive. Everyone is different and you shouldn't have to worry about everyone else and what they do. It not your problem to deal with that. And there is no such thing as normal. Go after what you feel is right for you. Take little steps and remember there is somebody out there for you.

You seem like a intelligent, attractive, and peaceful person. Any guys would fall for that. Just be who you are and stand your ground. Don't let anyone change you. Let someone fall in love with who you truly are.

Damn that sucks :( Well get your license girlfriend :)
 

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You are very welcome! I can totally relate to you so much. And thanks :) Well that sucks since it might help you out a bit but I am also the type that rather go to class too.

Well don't be scared since I believe we all have somebody out there waiting for us. Have you thought about joining a group outside of school in your community? Do you work? I know it hard to meet people and I'm surprise myself how I end up dating but taking those small steps will help out a lot. I'm not sure if your comfortable doing online dating but that another option too.

Guys are scared of women who are truly confidence in themselves. Trust me. I'm one of those haha. Not all guys though but the ones I ran across with believe women should be weaker which I think is false. You shouldn't have to change for anybody. Only you can change yourself if you want to, not anyone else. There are nice guys in this world, you just need to tell yourself you will find someone and stay positive. Everyone is different and you shouldn't have to worry about everyone else and what they do. It not your problem to deal with that. And there is no such thing as normal. Go after what you feel is right for you. Take little steps and remember there is somebody out there for you.

You seem like a intelligent, attractive, and peaceful person. Any guys would fall for that. Just be who you are and stand your ground. Don't let anyone change you. Let someone fall in love with who you truly are.

Damn that sucks :( Well get your license girlfriend :)
Wow! That was very inspiring and I truly thank you again for your replies. I'm teary-eyed because it's great to see that someone awesome actually gives a crap. I will definitely keep everything you said in the back of my mind. Thank you very very much! :)
 

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I was a straight edge in college. Same reasons, I don't need alcohol, drugs, or random sex to be happy! I mean, I did drink like 6 times a year and had sex with a girlfriend, but not like partying every night.
 

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You are welcome. I been in your shoes and it always nice to have someone come in and help out. I care A LOT about people which sometimes bite me in the ass but that an INFJ for you :) If you need to talk or anything, you know where to find me! Keep your chin up, focus on school, and you will find someone eventually that will love you for who you are :) Just don't give up.
 

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I know the feeling. I live in the dorms currently, but at the same time I'm surrounded by crazy people. (Thankfully my roommate is sane.) We've had two reports of rape in the area just this semester, and my suitemate (two people in a room, four people share the bathroom) wandered in from the bathroom dead drunk or stoned or...something. I still have no idea, as she spouting stuff about drug cartels and drunk people getting pregnant and just...ugh. She almost ran off with my towel because somehow she lost her clothes and that was the only thing in the bathroom she could think of to use. >.< She wandered out into the hallway and I followed her to make sure she didn't get picked up by the wrong person when she still had nothing to wear but my towel. Eventually she came back and started flirting with me, very vehemently, and when I told her I wasn't interested she stormed to bed as if I was the unreasonable one. (<snerk!>) Lovely encounter for my first night back from winter break! I've never seen her since, though.

As for guys and other non-crazies--they're out there. They're probably hiding in the cracks like you, also taking cover from all the insanity. Check the libraries, music practice rooms, computer labs--places that are quiet and still have that academic air to them (instead of being a free-for-all meeting place).

There's bound to be someone else who shares your views. The trick is to find them, and then stick to them like glue, ignoring the chaos around you. Think calm spot in a hurricane!

Similar to what I said in another thread--people will fall in love with you for who you are, not for when or how you put yourself out there. Don't pretend to be anyone but yourself. :happy:
 

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You're not alone.

I think it is best to give meaning to sex and drinking... more meaning than just a senseless binge. :tongue:
 

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Love that you stick to your principles and what you think is right for you. I was the same way, though for religious reasons. It is hard at school, I went to a large university with a HUGE greek system and parties were all the time. I think it was important for me to find the right groups to associate with and that way I maximized my chances of fitting in when I wanted to socialize.

For you it may be more difficult in that I was pretty picky in who I hung out with to avoid bad situations. I also think it's hard when you are in school because so many people aren't doing what you have chosen to do and for me it felt pretty lonely at times. So hang in there, hopefully you can find and establish a good group to hang out with and you can continue to expand and meet new people while having a core group of friends to come back to.
 

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I'm not completely straight-edge but I'm one of the straightest people I know. I like a glass of wine or a bottle of cidar with a meal for purely taste reasons, but I very rarely drink to get drunk. I don't go to clubs, at parties I'm always the sober one getting people home at the end of the night, I don't do drugs, I don't sleep around. I'm in third year of University and apparently this "boring" behaviour makes me a bit of a unicorn.

I think the thing is to be sure of yourself, @ugivemepuppies. You already seem very self-assured about your reasons and about who you are, and that is the most important thing you can have to get through it all. Especially in a horrendous environment like halls of residence (in Sydney it isn't the norm to live on campus thankfully). God, the stuff the live-on-campus students do at our Uni boggles the mind (including turning up drunk to tutes and lectures at 10 in the morning). I'm not sure how they don't all have liver poisoning. Sorry, normally I try not to judge what other people do but a close, normal friend of mine recently went to live in college and has turned into a binge monster who is failing half her classes, so I'm harbouring some resentment towards the whole institution.

Are there other halls of residence you can transfer to? Maybe a religious one or one for med students (who will probably have a lower percentage of heavy drinkers)? Or is that where you already are?

As for guys, well this is a bit of a half-baked theory but most of the straight-edge sweet guys I know tend to have something really big in their lives that fulfils them, so they don't go partying as much. For a lot of them this is religion, which might be problematic for a lot of people (myself included), but with others it is things like music or art or student politics. I'd say go looking for them off-campus or in campus societies :)
 
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I'm pretty straight edge now in year 12, but back in year 9-10 i was an insane partyer, my mum was in melbourne taking care of my Uncle for most of the two years and my brother was taking care of me but he was rarely there if ever, he just left all his booze there, so i became an alcoholic when i was 14 XD thats so retarted, but anyway my SO confessed to me one day and told me that she hated it when i drank and from then on drinking alcohol makes me feel sick ^^

Also i wont really be able to drink at RMC because the military generally wouldn't allow officer cadets to be drunk in classes XD
 
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move into off campus student housing with quiet people. Tends to help.

I'm not straight edge exactly, but those kids are excessive. Then again, its arts. Its not like there's anything else to do in those programs.... I mean, what, less than 20 hours of class a week and a tiny bit of work....

Go make friends with the quiet engineer types (especially as you get to upper year). They're so busy with 40-60 hour work weeks that they won't bother you. Probably the easiest people to live with.

I've never lived in a dorm. I never will.
 

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id say stay true to urself.
Get ur liscence.
In australia, dont have that problem on having to live on campus or partying within university flats, a lot are international students living in those flats and there are strict guidelines on what they can and can not do.

Except that we do get drunk a lot at pub crawls. But that's a lot better, going to pubs and clubs and annoying the members of the public and getting caught by the police if we do something really stupid. And if we want to have a house party and for the ppl that smoke weed at least they get to do it within someone's home who is into that kind of thing.

As for me, i agree with you on the no drugs thing, i have also never smoked my entire life but i feel sorry for my poor liver and dead brain cells for the amount of alcohol i had in my 1st and 2nd year of university. I was totally good in my last two years of uni as that's when i was on job placements and had to carry myself very seriously. So it was a good balance for me althoug i wished on the days that i was having a bad hangover i could have spent those times working and making more money instead of calling in sick due to a bad hangover or could have been more productive and actually made use of my gym membership.

Good luck for the rest of your university or college life. You sound like a committed student and that you will probably get very far :)
 

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Yeah the Houseparties get broken up after a few hours anyway, me and my mates would spend the weekend roaming from part to party, i'm so surprised that we've never gotten asked for ID or been caught with alcohol on our posession XD
 

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@ugivemepuppies you rock and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, the fact that you have been strong and have chosen to remain outside the influence is outstanding. I'm like you in that I've chosen to remain sober and enjoy my life without drugs or alcohol. I understand exactly what your dealing with, and you are not alone, just stay strong and true to your beliefs and you will get through.
 
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Hey, @ugivemepuppies, just wanted to say that I am drug- and alcohol-free and have been my whole life, and I have only had sex in long-term monogamous relationships. As a child, I witnessed many family members being addicted to drugs, sex, and alcohol, and the consequences that wrought. As a teenager and as an adult, I never had any interest in substances or casual sex, because to me, they're not associated with excitement, but with illness, abuse, and depression. I really respect your decision to remain straight edge.

I was pretty lonely my first year of college because I hated parties, and it seemed like everyone else was so excited to be able to get drunk without threat of being found out by their parents. I came home at 2 AM once to find my roommate half naked and barfing on our floor. Honestly, I was relieved when she told me she was only drunk, because at first glance, I though something worse had happened! Guess who ended up cleaning up the puddle of vomit?

I was very lucky: my sophomore year, I found a group of people who weren't drinkers, either, and we dorked out doing things like movie nights and game nights and cooking each other huge homemade meals. You say you're a freshman; I don't know many people who met their best college friends freshman year. It seemed to take a year for everyone to really figure out what the heck they were doing, you know? It's possible that some of these people who are going crazy at parties now will be completely over it after a few more months of barfing all over themselves (or not... you never know :confused:), and ready to take a more moderate approach sophomore year. Are you part of any clubs or volunteer organizations? I met some great people that way, because they were sober at the meetings. I met most of my best friends through the girl I roomed with sophomore year; we found each other because we had both been looking for substance-free roommates! It may be that you must simply be patient-- other new students are as lonely as you are, and I've observed that people in altered states generally feel very close to one another much sooner than those of us who approach intimacy and friendship in a sober state.

If you truly feel this problem is so pervasive on your campus, have you considered transferring? I'm sure there are people at your current school you can find to be friends with, but it must be pretty miserable to be a non-drinker at a party school. I hope
 

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you could apply to the housing/residence board to get moved, citing the problems as your reasoning. Most schools have a long, long list of policies, which you could use against the school. Most importantly, you could use the human rights one - in that you'd file a human rights complaint that the school is disrupting "your ability to learn" due to "poisoning your environment" by allowing the acts of drug usage and alcohol abuse to continue.

Look for those policy lists. Poisoned environment is a pretty big violation, as is impinging on an individual's ability to learn or perform their job. It should be in there.

For example: Secretariat | University of Waterloo

Generally university administrative staff and faculty will bend over backwards if you present a legitimate complaint just to avoid having a real complaint go in front of University Senate (which costs tons of time and money for the university)
 
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