Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 46 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,627 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Just wondering, because I really want to meet one.

Seriously. This is a serious question.

Where are you hiding? My best guy friend is an INFJ, but he's gay. If I could date the straight version of him, I would implode. The good kind of implode.

Y'all are just too awesome. But so rare. :crying:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
We're introverted, so you'd find us some place that's not too crowded. Really though, if you want to meet a male INFJ your best bet is trying to find one on the internet. At least then you could look for the personality type. If you'd run into one in real life, you might not even be able to identify him as being INFJ. Everyone I know who is into MBTI types me as INTJ or INTP, especially before I open up to them (which can take some time).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
189 Posts
Anywhere the day leads me to. I'm not really a fan of the cliche coffee shop w/ a book. But you can find me out by a tree or a bench in a nature-y clearing reading something. Or in my room rocking out to my music... or in the kitchen cooking some bomb food. or maybe in a small cozy pub getting one of my favorite beers.

On weekdays, im usually in the university library getting my study on so I can hang out with my friends on the weekends.

Offtopic Infj tip: You guys should visit Sweden! Studying abroad here is amazing. I would think it is the perfect place for infj's!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
151 Posts
SLN pinpointed it - we're introverts, and probably difficult to spot. We don't "go out" - we just transport our inner selves to new physical environments, if that makes sense. Book shops and book cafes are more likely than bars, and most of the time we avoid loud and crowded places.

For myself, I could be spotted on an outdoor cafe, absent-minded looking around while I scratch my dog behind her ear. If my dog likes you, I would perceive you as a nice person :blushed:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Navis Amoris

·
Registered
Joined
·
151 Posts
Anywhere the day leads me to. I'm not really a fan of the cliche coffee shop w/ a book. But you can find me out by a tree or a bench in a nature-y clearing reading something. Or in my room rocking out to my music... or in the kitchen cooking some bomb food. or maybe in a small cozy pub getting one of my favorite beers.

On weekdays, im usually in the university library getting my study on so I can hang out with my friends on the weekends.

Offtopic Infj tip: You guys should visit Sweden! Studying abroad here is amazing. I would think it is the perfect place for infj's!
Yes, definately great advice! vivacissimamente, if you have the opportunity to take a year abroad, I think you'll find any of the Scandinavian countries interesting. Almost all people speak English quite well, and there are no university fees!

Quick cliché assessments of the uppermost part of the Northern hemisphere:
  • Norway - filthy rich, generally laidback atmosphere. Most inhabitants are charmingly naïve.
  • Sweden - a bit more formal, more into political correctness. Very good university in the city of Lund.
  • Denmark - anarchist territory with good food. Bicycle friendly, but avoid it if you're into mountain climbing (the country is as flat as a pancake)
  • Finland - deep woods where you find plenty of socially awkwards, usually depressed, drunken and armoured with a gun. You'll find the same kind of people in the cities, but they wear more expensive clothes.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,009 Posts
Sometimes I ask myself if I'm an INFJ given my cognitive functions setup, excessive introspection and melancholic behavior. But in regard to your question, if I were an INFJ; unless you want to knock on a strangers door I am nowhere to be found.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cinnamon

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,009 Posts
Yes, definately great advice! vivacissimamente, if you have the opportunity to take a year abroad, I think you'll find any of the Scandinavian countries interesting. Almost all people speak English quite well, and there are no university fees!

Quick cliché assessments of the uppermost part of the Northern hemisphere:
  • Norway - filthy rich, generally laidback atmosphere. Most inhabitants are charmingly naïve.
  • Sweden - a bit more formal, more into political correctness. Very good university in the city of Lund.
  • Denmark - anarchist territory with good food. Bicycle friendly, but avoid it if you're into mountain climbing (the country is as flat as a pancake)
  • Finland - deep woods where you find plenty of socially awkwards, usually depressed, drunken and armoured with a gun. You'll find the same kind of people in the cities, but they wear more expensive clothes.
Hahahahaha!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,292 Posts
As it has been mentioned above, we are introverted so we don't go out terribly much. When we do it is normally for school or work. I will go out with my close tight knit group of friends once in awhile. You would be best off bumping into us on a college campus or at our work. The best way to find us I think wouldn't be knowing where to go because that is very person to person based. I think the best way would be to know how we act and how we appear. If you lurk around in the INFJ area you will get an idea of how we are, but take it with a grain of salt because people act differently online then they do offline and because some people are mistyped. Look at the threads where we are asked or the context is that we describe ourselves.

It is common that from a surface appearance we give off a very STJ vibe. However, if you watch us closely enough and know what you are looking for, you can spot us. Staring off into the distance, frowning when we see something sad. We have so much emotion and it shows on our face if you catch it. We people watch a lot but if we realize someone is watching us we can get kind of uncomfortable. A good thing to look for is that we like walls, oh man do we like walls and oh boy we like sitting next to them on the edges of rooms. I am sitting next to one now in the library on campus. Quiet places are generally good places to go, quiet removed places.

You have a wealth of information about us just on this site. Just lurk the INFJ area, look at stickies, new and old threads, articles, blogs and you can learn an endless amount of information on us. Don't be afraid to ask questions either, we are always happy to help people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,675 Posts
It is common that from a surface appearance we give off a very STJ vibe. However, if you watch us closely enough and know what you are looking for, you can spot us. Staring off into the distance, frowning when we see something sad. We have so much emotion and it shows on our face if you catch it. We people watch a lot but if we realize someone is watching us we can get kind of uncomfortable. A good thing to look for is that we like walls, oh man do we like walls and oh boy we like sitting next to them on the edges of rooms. I am sitting next to one now in the library on campus. Quiet places are generally good places to go, quiet removed places.
Quoted for truth.

Good luck finding your INFJ, viva. Keep your eyes peeled :laughing:

Actually... you could ask your gay INFJ friend to keep his eyes peeled for straight INFJ guys. If anyone could help you on this, it'd be him.

INFJs do hide a bit lol. But... at the same time we want to be discovered. It can seem like a strange paradox... but the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls speaks to it well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,749 Posts
It is common that from a surface appearance we give off a very STJ vibe. However, if you watch us closely enough and know what you are looking for, you can spot us. Staring off into the distance, frowning when we see something sad. We have so much emotion and it shows on our face if you catch it. We people watch a lot but if we realize someone is watching us we can get kind of uncomfortable. A good thing to look for is that we like walls, oh man do we like walls and oh boy we like sitting next to them on the edges of rooms. I am sitting next to one now in the library on campus. Quiet places are generally good places to go, quiet removed places.
Quoted for truth x2.

Although I do have a couple of exceptions (I like going to loud concerts), you'll generally find us in quiet places, by ourselves or with a small group of friends when we're not at home. I really like taking walks and running too, so you might find me outside too.
I'm not sure if I'm speaking for all of us but don't be afraid to initiate either. I really like it when someone else takes the initiative. :happy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,675 Posts
Well... there's a huge difference between how an INFJ acts when they trust you (Your friend) and when they don't know you at all (that INFJ guy you are looking for).

You gotta find that INFJ in the crowd and see the sadness and soulfulness in his gaze and crack his shell. The sooner you show him that you're a warm and understanding girl, the faster he'll open up and show those parts of himself that you've come to adore so much in your gay friend.

But cracking an INFJ shell can be tough business... if you show a goofy smile like the one in your avatar, I bet most INFJs would be stumbling over themselves to open up. :laughing:

INFJ Eyes-

-Evaluative look
-Contemplative look
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
37 Posts
the back corner of the lecture theatre

appear angry and quiet but quite happily ready (and may come across much more 'confident' than the exterior would suggest) to share a pen or book or offer some sort of help/aid

on the grass with head phones in looking at the sky, the way a tree is swaying and people watching

on time.. ive planned 100 steps ahead of physical location - path im going to take, how im walking, where i plan on sitting, how fast or slow so that i time my getting there away from people who dont give me a good vibe

the one in a group who is probably thinking about what he/she (think you looking for a guy though right?) is going to say before saying it

trying to be inclusive

taking the initiative to speak to someone who seems uncomfortable or uneasy (not if i predict the conversation to be small talk though).. i will put my anxiety/uncomfortable-ness/introverted-ness aside to help someone

going on extreme highs or excitement and being completely introverted and seemingly unhappy the next

not taking up a lot of space in a physical sense - on the train, lying down, in my seat.. i don't want to be a burden on someone else/appear to be selfish


uni tomorrow but
this has been my weekend
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,725 Posts
*clears throat*

:wink:
 
  • Like
Reactions: 18211

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,704 Posts
I'll describe how to spot an INFJ, as all INFJ's know how to spot other INFJ's. For example, there was this one chick who I was introduced to. I immediately felt "kindred" around her. Not in a way that made me want to pursue her, but in the way that she responded to the world around her. She always had a smile plastered on her face (as do I) and she would laugh more than she would respond. She kept to herself and didn't like to interrupt people. She waited for her turn and would say a sarcastic joke in response to what was just said. Etc. I later found out that she was an INFJ and then she was all of a sudden interested in me. lol

Sorry, I just started drinking my coffee and I feel my words aren't as clear as I'd like them to be. From my point of view, this is how I think I act: "Usually keep to myself. Very reserved in conversation. Always laughing at others' jokes regardless of how funny it is; although the funnier, the more intense the laugh. Sometimes I really bust up and my 'real' laugh comes out, to which I get many surprised looks. I usually interject with sarcasm to get others to laugh. I will make connections in conversations that no one else notices and then point them out. This usually gets people looking at me like 'Oh shit, I never expected...' And then look at my face as I have a huge smile plastered where if you are intuitive enough is me actually saying to myself, 'Just the way I like it! Keep guessing bitches.' etc

INFJ's will be very closed off until they feel that the people around them are actually able to understand them. After that happens, we get more talkative. Sometimes this flip happens overnight and people are surprised at how much we have to say "all of a sudden." We always had this much to say, just never gave a shit to let others onto that fact.

I am officially a rambler now... I don't even want to re-read this to see if it makes any coherent sense. Ah, fuck it all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,131 Posts
I'll describe how to spot an INFJ, as all INFJ's know how to spot other INFJ's. For example, there was this one chick who I was introduced to. I immediately felt "kindred" around her. Not in a way that made me want to pursue her, but in the way that she responded to the world around her. She always had a smile plastered on her face (as do I) and she would laugh more than she would respond. She kept to herself and didn't like to interrupt people. She waited for her turn and would say a sarcastic joke in response to what was just said. Etc. I later found out that she was an INFJ and then she was all of a sudden interested in me. lol

Sorry, I just started drinking my coffee and I feel my words aren't as clear as I'd like them to be. From my point of view, this is how I think I act: "Usually keep to myself. Very reserved in conversation. Always laughing at others' jokes regardless of how funny it is; although the funnier, the more intense the laugh. Sometimes I really bust up and my 'real' laugh comes out, to which I get many surprised looks. I usually interject with sarcasm to get others to laugh. I will make connections in conversations that no one else notices and then point them out. This usually gets people looking at me like 'Oh shit, I never expected...' And then look at my face as I have a huge smile plastered where if you are intuitive enough is me actually saying to myself, 'Just the way I like it! Keep guessing bitches.' etc

INFJ's will be very closed off until they feel that the people around them are actually able to understand them. After that happens, we get more talkative. Sometimes this flip happens overnight and people are surprised at how much we have to say "all of a sudden." We always had this much to say, just never gave a shit to let others onto that fact.

I am officially a rambler now... I don't even want to re-read this to see if it makes any coherent sense. Ah, fuck it all.
It's settled... That's me spot on. So your my doppelganger then, I guess... :crazy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,006 Posts
I met an INFJ friend last year and it took 6 months to discover she was the same type as me. I feel like its one of those things where you find one when you least expect it whether it's an INFJ friendship or love interest. The funny comparison i have in my head is trying to catch a shiny pokemon hahaha. i was a video game nerd growing up...don't judge me!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,835 Posts
Yeah I would agree with the posters so far, try the internet or ask your friend. These are probably the best ways to ensure meeting a straight, INFJ guy.

As for me, like many, I don't go out much. If I do, there's a reason (workout, groceries, church, etc.)

Hope that helps.


"INFJ's will be very closed off until they feel that the people around them are actually able to understand them. After that happens, we get more talkative. Sometimes this flip happens overnight and people are surprised at how much we have to say "all of a sudden." We always had this much to say, just never gave a shit to let others onto that fact."

This! hahahaha

and this!

"I will make connections in conversations that no one else notices and then point them out. This usually gets people looking at me like 'Oh shit, I never expected...' And then look at my face as I have a huge smile plastered where if you are intuitive enough is me actually saying to myself, 'Just the way I like it! Keep guessing bitches.' etc"

lolol
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
If you want to meet INFJs and live in a big urban area you can try to attend the various MBTI meet-up groups. There are a few places that have meet-up groups dedicated specifically to INFJs, some specifically to NFs, and some for all intuitives or just for MBTI enthusiasts.

Example: infj Meetups around the world - Meetup

Another way to find INFJs is to mention MBTI types in places like Facebook, your OkCupid profile or online dating ads, whatever other social networking site that you use. Chances are there might be somebody there who is also into MBTI at least and may even be an INFJ.
 
1 - 20 of 46 Posts
Top