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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Although we had a great time together, now due to distance and divergent lifepaths it is fading out :/

However, I don't think I ve ever felt better with anyone else.
 
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I find it pretty easy to abandon feelings for someone, especially if they aren't interested in me. I'm not going to beg for someone's love, lol. There's billions of people on this rock, nobody's special and unique, nobody's "the one."
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I find it pretty easy to abandon feelings for someone, especially if they aren't interested in me. I'm not going to beg for someone's love, lol.
I completely agree with that part. I m growing increasingly tired / bored of being the only one who takes initiative Even though she, in a very INFJ fashion, would be the best audience ever when I do so, she wouldn't bring anything new to the table anymore.

Correct me if I am wrong, but basically ignoring her would have one of the 2 outcomes, letting her go painlessly or paradoxically attract her somehow. (Am I completely off with that 2nd option?)
 

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*Reads title.*
*Sees the word "strategically".*
*Searches for emotions expressed or feelings.*
*Sees none.*
*Answers.*

Maybe you never made it clear how important your thing was for you.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
*Reads title.*
*Sees the word "strategically".*
*Searches for emotions expressed or feelings.*
*Sees none.*
*Answers.*

Maybe you never made it clear how important your thing was for you.
You are damn right sir, so let me expand a little bit on the premises.
She told me once, that I was the one who offered her her best present, that I have a very strong F, which I take pride of.
 

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So why did this die out? Were you dealing with an unhealty INFJ? I mean, I'm not very healthy by far, but if I have someone to hold on to I'd be way too involved to not let go and I would definitely look for ways to heal and become healthy and be the best I can and maybe for short bursts even better than I can be.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
So why did this die out? Were you dealing with an unhealty INFJ? I mean, I'm not very healthy by far, but if I have someone to hold on to I'd be way too involved to not let go and I would definitely look for ways to heal and become healthy and be the best I can and maybe for short bursts even better than I can be.
We live in different countries, we had met in the UK while taking English classes.
 

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Although we had a great time together, now due to distance and divergent lifepaths it is fading out :/

However, I don't think I ve ever felt better with anyone else.
 

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You are damn right sir, so let me expand a little bit on the premises.
She told me once, that I was the one who offered her her best present, that I have a very strong F, which I take pride of.
You guys so give the best presents. Compliments and words maybe not as much but for people who like evidence/love languages that don't need words as much... You're all dreamy..
 
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Correct me if I am wrong, but basically ignoring her would have one of the 2 outcomes, letting her go painlessly or paradoxically attract her somehow. (Am I completely off with that 2nd option?)
You are totally off by the second option for someone like me. It crushes me, sends me into a Ni/Ti loop and insults my intelligence and intuition (and while I'll let go over time with understanding), it is a really painful death and is the kiss of death to the connection because I'll be crazy outwardly - but this is all enneagram playing ball in conjunction with Ni/Ti.. It just hurts and having a life full of loss - I find I can't even trust or have faith that people are real anymore...


I know other infj's are different enneagram types but really - we we very intuitive, and if you ignore us to get you to chase you (like as if you're the girl), you're only going to be insulting their intuition and spelling out how little her value is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
You guys so give the best presents. Compliments and words maybe not as much but for people who like evidence/love languages that don't need words as much... You're all dreamy..
Fun fact, she is the one who taught me first about love languages. She is about quality time I am mostly about words.

She invited me to live with her like 3 years after we both parted our ways. I just couldn't, I wouldn't settle in a less civilized country than mine whose language is famous for being one of the hardest on earth (Hungary).
 

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Fun fact, she is the one who taught me first about love languages. She is about quality time I am mostly about words.

She invited me to live with her like 3 years after we both parted our ways. I just couldn't, I wouldn't settle in a less civilized country than mine whose language is famous for being one of the hardest on earth (Hungary).
0.o

I'm part-Hungarian. Take that back, heathen scum!

Also it's very rare for an ENTP to be about anything other than quality time, love languages-wise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
You are totally off by the second option for someone like me. It crushes me, sends me into a Ni/Ti loop and insults my intelligence and intuition (and while I'll let go over time with understanding), it is a really painful death and is the kiss of death to the connection because I'll be crazy outwardly - but this is all enneagram playing ball in conjunction with Ni/Ti.. It just hurts and having a life full of loss - I find I can't even trust or have faith that people are real anymore...


I know other infj's are different enneagram types but really - we we very intuitive, and if you ignore us to get you to chase you (like as if you're the girl), you're only going to be insulting their intuition and spelling out how little her value is.
Thanks a lot for your honesty there! I absolutely hate hurting ppl's feeling but I do so every now and then.
She once told me that I m a jerk but that she couldn't hate me :/
 
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Fun fact, she is the one who taught me first about love languages. She is about quality time I am mostly about words.

She invited me to live with her like 3 years after we both parted our ways. I just couldn't, I wouldn't settle in a less civilized country than mine whose language is famous for being one of the hardest on earth (Hungary).
Fun fact : the best gift ever I've received was from an entp. Taking is more about quality time than words. For me love language is acts of service, gifts and quality time.. I think this is because I'm a head type though so it's like 'evidence' actions speak louder than words mentality (I get in trouble when I want to doubt what I know). Words scores a whopping 1 every time I've taken the test. I need some action or evidence to pair with the words. Hence, ignoring me = you don't like me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
0.o

I'm part-Hungarian. Take that back, heathen scum!

Also it's very rare for an ENTP to be about anything other than quality time, love languages-wise.
Can't I love Hungarians and hate their politics simultaneously?
 
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Thanks a lot for your honesty there! I absolutely hate hurting ppl's feeling but I do so every now and then.
She once told me that I m a jerk but that she couldn't hate me :/
That's because it's impossible to hate an entp.. I get them on a different level than any other type. I always try my best to create the "everything happens for a reason" thing, but with entp, it's hard to find silver linings when this go sour aside from growing more depth and strength to my character which I really don't need any more of :p
 
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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
But the situation as I described is tricky.
She will almost never engage a conversation herself. So I know that if I don't do so from time to time, the 'relationship' will naturally die.
So, I should rather write some kind of email to tell her exactly what I think?
 

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But the situation as I described is tricky.
She will almost never engage a conversation herself. So I know that if I don't do so from time to time, the 'relationship' will naturally die.
So, I should rather write some kind of email to tell her exactly what I think?


Emailing her to tell her what you think is good. I don't know the intricacies of your individual relationship but, for me, I don't initiate ever for no other reason than I have such little faith. I was just told the other day by someone that I had no problems in the self esteem department. However, my confidence is terrible. I like when the other initiates so I feel wanted and I know, they want to talk to me. It's as if I relinquish all control so I never have to doubt their affections... Keyword being "doubt". That's huge for a 6. I think enneagram is more helpful with the nuances of relationship to be honest. Mbti for pairing but enneagram for long term compatibility /survival of the connection.. It's about how we cope and relationship is work. (I don't think it should be hard as in forced) but it does take work to maintain connections. Look to her enneagram maybe? And yours too! For me, I wish I had all my enneagram knowledge years ago - would have spared me immense heart ache over the years.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 · (Edited)
Alright, do you know (to spare me that research) which are the most common enneatypes of INFJs so that I can work (speculate) on what fits her best from a smaller sample pls?

Also, I am 8w7 (strong 7), 873 tritype and Social instinct dom.

I searched the topic of ennegram pairing already but wasn't completely satisfied with the way they presented their findings. Maybe you could point me to some useful ressource in that concern.

Edit: I did the research, quoting @ElectricHead
1, 4, and 5 Often. *there is a probability of 70-79% for that Enneagram type to also score as INFJ.
9, 6, 3, 2 are kind of common. 18-27% "
7 and 8 are rare. less than 4% "

This is according to Personality Types: Myers Briggs - Enneagram and Myers Briggs

They do note that other tests yield different results.

Individually, 4 was the most common, by far. Then 1, and then 5, as second and third most common, while 8 was the least common.
Edit 2: I think she s a 1.
 

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Fun, I was leaving the same kind of story. I've broke the bridge one time, she contact me back, and I know how it cost to her as she detest that. Now I let the relation die, I don't want to play anymore, that too costly.

As you said, INFJ are about attitudes, attentions, etc. ENTP about fact, ideas, carefully chosen words.
 
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