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When seemingly the entirety of the USA takes one side of a problem, and you feel like one of the few who doesn't believe it's as simple as it's being made out to be, it's insane how isolated it makes you feel. Because you could go to pick up some food or just be out walking, and it'll be brought up in every day conversation by COMPLETE strangers. Which is made worse by the fact that it's hardly a conversation; really what people want is for others to share their sentiment of how 'unfair this was, and if you have a problem with how people are acting because of it, you ARE the problem!' If you have anything other than that to say, you're a social pariah.

If you ask me, that's the actual problem. People are allowed to be all up in your business as long as they're simultaneously saying what the majority believes to be right. It's the same as some stranger talking shit about Trump to me as if I'm just supposed to agree with them. But they're sure they're right, so the rules of respect simply don't apply to them. It's all bullshit.
 

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I'm drunk. My cousin went into a crisis. I had to take Care of my cousin
 

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Man, I didn't expect my first year of optometry school to end this way with the epidemic situation. F'ed around too much my first semester, but I got my shit together second semester, for which I'm proud of myself. Now I just gotta get through these summer classes and then a whole 'nother year of intensive studying before I can supposedly chill my third year. fingers crossed
 

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Someone admitted to me that she felt in love with me after knowing her for four days. She wanted to kiss me, to have sex with me. She admitted that she had feelings for me and that she seduced me. I said rejecting and disappointed her was the most difficult thing i had to do in my life. My stomach die hurt a lot from it. She's 43 years old (i'm 24), is a married woman and has three children. Her oldest son is older than me. She has relationship problems and an alcohol problem. This is the weirdest day of my life. I'm not feeling well. It's not fun to reject someone.

She hugged me, purred me. I felt uncomfortable. My stomach really hurts. She went to my pants, trying to open it. I all allowed it because I have such a hard time saying no we can't. I just didn't want to disappoint her. She said i'm a hot young boy who's very aged and mannered for my life. She said i have the beautiful eyes of the world (a lot of girls tell me that). I almost want to cry. I have such a hard time now.
A 50 something year old man did something like this to me. He started to be my friend and helped me out with my life. I should have known when he complemented my eyes. He then phoned me crying and masturbating (I didn't know this until I hung up) and said he wanted to book a hotel with me and have sex. Creepy af. He lived with a kid younger than me and he ended up committing suicide on Christmas day (The old man phoned me on Christmas eve - How creepy is that?). I then took a load of psychedelic mushrooms on boxing day.

A first nations woman put a hex on him for me and it worked. He later died of an overdose. He was going to go to jail for stealing guns, ammunition and cash.

I'm never ever getting into a relationship. They're fucking weird to me. I have autism too so I don't really get them - And schizophrenia.
 

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The INFP Type Five – The INFP Investigator
Core Fear: Being helpless, incompetent, or overwhelmed.
Core Desire: To be competent and capable.
Curious and contemplative, INFP Fives are driven to attain knowledge and have mastery in a unique field. They want to understand how the world works – whether it’s the world of music, animals, or the inner world of their imagination. Not afraid of skepticism, they tend to question rules and beliefs that are handed to them – needing to know the ins and outs before they accept it as fact. Deep down, INFP Fives worry that they can’t do things as well as others and that they may not have the skills needed to “make it” in the world. Thus, they search for mastery and data as a way to arm themselves against whatever life might throw at them. Internalizing their knowledge helps them to feel self-confident and more certain. The only problem with this is that Fives tend to hoard knowledge so desperately that they risk never feeling like they have enough to face the world. They often are reclusive, eccentric, and misunderstood. But as they mature and become healthier, they can astound people with their original and innovative ways of seeing the world. They are typically deeply intuitive and insightful.
In childhood, Fives often felt unsafe in their homes. This lack of safety may have been emotional or physical – but often they recall feeling overwhelmed by their parents. They often felt that there was no place for them to fit in. Like the Four, they felt out of touch and misunderstood by members of their family. To cope, they withdrew from their families, searching for something all their own that they could “bring to the table.” If their siblings were all good at math, they’d learn to be good at creative writing, or vice versa. They need to differentiate themselves from others by becoming masters at something unique. Often highly reclusive, they dislike being “crowded in” by others. They need their alone time and can become very frustrated when very much is asked of them.
Fives are in the fear/head triad of the enneagram. In solitude, they face their fears, and may even fixate on them. They might draw pictures of scary monsters that terrify them or read stories about horrible events that cause them anxiety. They tend to have an attraction to the “darker side” of life and to fully immersing themselves in the things that scare them. It’s important for INFP Fives to reach out to others and to become comfortable sharing their inner world. Becoming isolated can get Fives lost in a feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness. INFPs need to explore the world around them and get to know others in order to achieve balance.
Unhealthy Fives Can Be: Escapist, eccentric, insomniacs, stuck in analysis-paralysis, afraid, reclusive, secretive, argumentative, under-nourished, fearful, and/or removed from their feelings.
Average Fives Can Be: Insecure, high-strung, cerebral, secretive, skeptical, resentful, imaginative, creative, misunderstood, private, pre-occupied, conceptual, observant, and/or intelligent.
Healthy Fives Can Be: Competent, strong, curious, original, artistic, inventive, original, independent, clear-minded, profound, engaged, grounded, compassionate, perceptive, and/or productive.
I realized that I'm an INFP type 5. Like Kurt Cobain. Not good..
 

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Do you ever "speak up" to share your feelings on something and then people kind of scold you by telling you "you need to speak up for yourself" and you're like - dude, that's what I'm doing.
 

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My cousin did drink too much and went into a crisis. She asked for a knife we didn't give. She vomited and was screaming on the ground. I have a dysfunctional family
 

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Do you ever "speak up" to share your feelings on something and then people kind of scold you by telling you "you need to speak up for yourself" and you're like - dude, that's what I'm doing.
INFP/INTP's are the back bone of a company for example which only thrives if people listen to them cuz even though we're the most unlikely to speak up (About ideas and such), we usually have the best thoughts.

So like for yourself, your thoughts and feelings are very valid - People just need to listen. Personally I'm around people that like to listen cuz I don't speak much. Some people in groups even just want to have time to talk alone with me to philosophize their life etc idk
 

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Now can you pull up a comparison of all the White people killed by police. Might be harder since it doesn't go through the media.

Then take the statistics of crime, black vs white to create a ratio between the two races. Use that ratio to compare the two lists of victims.

24 isnt a very large number still. That's over how many years??

Police are responsible for killing like 1% of black people and that's guilty and not guilty.

I get stopped by the police all the time. Im white. I can feel their energy like they really want to control me. They love control. If they shoot to kill its because they feel like they can't control the person they're trying to control.
Interesting. Also, on average how many any cop meet 'suspect' everyday in their duty? One, two, ten? Then how many cops are there, one thousand, a million? How many work days in a year? Compare that to how many people are getting killed by them for whatever reason.

I think intuitive people could understand this video well:

 

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I cooked yesterday for Four People. For my cousin, her date, her son and myself, They liked it.
 
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