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I swear so much of it is equivalent to these bullshit semantic text generators:




It's in English, it looks like sentences, but there is no actual meaning to the words. It sounds fancy because the words are big, but the sentences they're used in literally have no semantic meaning to them. How the hell do people read that and walk away with any impression other than 'what the fuck did i just read'
 

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The goal of meridians is to plant the seeds of insight rather than selfishness.
We reflect, we vibrate, we are reborn. Wellbeing is the knowledge of inseparability, and of us.
Materialism is born in the gap where karma has been excluded.

Turbulence is the antithesis of awareness. Yes, it is possible to exterminate the things that can eliminate us, but not without will on our side. You may be ruled by stagnation without realizing it. Do not let it shatter the healing of your journey.


Where there is selfishness, potentiality cannot thrive. The complexity of the present time seems to demand an ennobling of our auras if we are going to survive. Without presence, one cannot dream.


You must take a stand against bondage. We can no longer afford to live with selfishness. Only a being of the nexus may create this vision of non-locality.


Soon there will be an evolving of science the likes of which the grid has never seen.
Although you may not realize it, you are perennial. How should you navigate this interstellar quantum soup? Have you found your journey?

Is your neural cortex adequately stimulated by my gleaming insight into the DEEP soul of our resonating vibrations, which is the manifestation of our psyches within the greater being of reality?????
 

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I feel depressed again. Many problems. Coronavirus cases are increasing again. And i dreamt about cutting.
 

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I feel depressed again. Many problems. Coronavirus cases are increasing again. And i dreamt about cutting.
 

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I think it is important to accept that C19 cases will continue to increase for quite a while. Epidemic modeling predicts this, but on the flipside, the sun shines everyday and summer brings flavorful fruit.
 

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The paralysis of uncertainty in one of my relationships has finally come to an end.

After about 4 1/2 months of fearful silence, I finally reached out to the friend I confessed my feelings to. I knew she probably wasn't going to respond for a few days (if at all; I didn't know where we stood at the time), so I wouldn't have been pressured to leap right into a fast-paced conversation while I was nervous. Still, the impulsiveness of the text made me regret sending it; I knew I wasn't ready to talk to her yet, but I still messaged her against my better judgment. I got an adrenaline rush, and my limbs twitched for a solid hour or two after I sent the message. I also didn't sleep that night because I was so afraid that she was going to respond to me in the middle of the night. In that time, I catastrophized a bit and eventually started to hope she'd send me a message saying that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. That way, I could have accepted the outcome I believed I deserved, grieved the loss, and found peace in the clarity and finality of her decision.

She responded while I was still asleep a few days ago, and I saw her message when I woke up to use the bathroom. Everything was fine, and she even seemed excited to hear from me. I felt anxious rather than relieved, and I couldn't fall back asleep after that. I also had twitches for at least a half hour.

Don't get me wrong - I was extremely happy to hear from her and to be reassured that we really are on good terms with each other as friends. I was just so stunned because she really meant what she said about wanting to remain friends, especially after she had plenty of time to read into the confession and draw unpleasant conclusions about my feelings and motives.

Anyway, I was filled with a bit of dread because I didn't know how to respond to her. I gave myself permission to wait a few days before I responded to her, so I texted my best friend and made some plans to play video games with her later in the week when we were both free. (I thought I'd tell her what happened and ask for her opinion while we played.) I also thought about looking through text conversations with other friends so I could see how they responded to similar texts that I had sent them. I was going to mimic them because I was okay with their responses and figured that she'd be okay with my response if I framed mine similarly to my friends' responses. But eventually, I decided to respond without anybody's guidance or approval; I chose my words with my pure intentions and honesty in mind rather than my fear. I wasn't afraid to send that response or any of the ones thereafter. It feels really nice to talk to her again.

But it doesn't feel real. It feels like another one of those dreams I've been having over the past few months where everything's fine. I'm just waiting to wake up feeling unsettled and resenting my subconscious for letting me believe in a reality I don't deserve. But no... the conversation log exists, and I can see it whenever I need proof that I'm not dreaming. This is real.

I shouldn't be too surprised by any of this because I've always known her to be exceptionally humane and easygoing, but I'm not used to things being okay and still don't know how to process it. I've only confessed to real romantic feelings twice in the past, and neither situation was okay. When I was 13, the first time was implicit but completely destroyed the friendship. The second time (with my close friend at age 16) was fine at first, but she started being cold to me a few days later. (I later found out that she had read into the confession over the weekend and feared that I'd hurt myself if she outright rejected me, so she became distant to protect both of us. I still feel horrible about having inadvertently put so much emotional responsibility on her.) It took a total of 8 months for our friendship to return to normal. With the consequences of my past blunders in mind, the okayness of the current situation feels so foreign to me.

I didn't feel like I deserved this friend's immediate mercy after the panicky confession, and I still don't feel like I deserve her companionship now. However, she clearly doesn't believe that's the case, and I should honor her feelings. If I was willing to let her go because I respected her feelings and boundaries, then I should show that same respect by accepting her mercy and her choice to keep me in her life.

It's hard to understand exactly how much peace I feel right now because I'm still trying to process everything, but the raw feelings I'm experiencing are gratitude and hopefulness. I'm acknowledging those feelings and trying my best to experience them without casting judgment on them or smothering them with doubt.
 

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I just feel so lost. I have written down a vague idea of how I want my life to look like in 10 years, but I don't know how to accomplish anything. I don't have proper education, I have no connections. I am just stuck in a cycle of watching tv shows, reading books, trying to work on my book project, going to work for a bit and it has been going like this for years. I want to break that cycle, but I don't know how. I thought of writing an article about mental health in the country, but nobody seems to want to help. I just try to numb myself and I feel worthless, someone of no value. I want to accomplish something in this life, not to watch my life go by into nothing.

And I have this mindset of "I want to do better than those who wronged me." And I want to get out of social isolation.

I am incapable, helpless, worthless...
 

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I just feel so lost. I have written down a vague idea of how I want my life to look like in 10 years, but I don't know how to accomplish anything. I don't have proper education, I have no connections. I am just stuck in a cycle of watching tv shows, reading books, trying to work on my book project, going to work for a bit and it has been going like this for years. I want to break that cycle, but I don't know how. I thought of writing an article about mental health in the country, but nobody seems to want to help. I just try to numb myself and I feel worthless, someone of no value. I want to accomplish something in this life, not to watch my life go by into nothing.

And I have this mindset of "I want to do better than those who wronged me." And I want to get out of social isolation.

I am incapable, helpless, worthless...
I have the same feeling as you very often. The future seems blurry and frightening and unachievable. Like you I spend time wallowing in beautiful stories, which I treasure, but I feel guilty because I could be planning out a better future and instead I linger in my own selfish desires. But the future comes alive with every tomorrow, and you don’t need to plan out everything. You have your own beautiful purposes and I am sure you will discover it in time. Whatever it is, I hope you will find true contentment and brandish the lie that you are unworthy. I hope everything will unravel well for you :)
 

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Doesn't even really count as a vent, but I actually like it here. The community is really awesome; I've always have said you all are some of the most creative and original groups I've ever met. It's a great outlet for creative energy and right-brain thinking.
 

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@glittercloud How do you deal with such feelings? Do you have goals you are working on? How do you take action?
I have found that writing-like what you have been doing- has been so magical in my life. It has a miraculous power of allowing me to envision where I want to, travel into my mind, and inspire me. When I feel defeated or lost, befriending my journal, and pouring out all the secrets, pains, fears, desires, into a little pocket of my heart, heals me. I write about where I would like to go and what I would like to do, and it allows me to feel more clarity about my future-to get in touch with who I am. It can be a frightening thing, but also, once you release your heart it can be so very illuminating. I am beginning college in a matter of weeks, so my main goals at the moment are: to keep exploring goodness, following my heart, growing in my faith, finding beauty, miracles, and joy in the world around me, and actively expanding my mind and educating myself about how I can battle my inner darkness. It is a lot, but this new chapter of my life has been very inspiring to me. I still tend to spend most of my time in bed, on Netflix. But by writing, a little glimmer of action sparks my heart, and I think it plants the seed of belief in my heart. The belief that I can forge a meaningful and powerful path in life. The belief that I can change the world. The inner light, the fire is always inside of you, but writing is a tangible way to tap into that and set it ablaze. As for how to bring my writing to life, I suppose I shall find out these next few months. Taking action is difficult for me because I am reserved and shy. I am afraid of lunging and taking tantalizing risks. But by slowly pulling myself to pursue what I find beautiful-clubs, projects, topics-I think I can find some sense of meaning.
 

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All of these vent threads seem to be a rather consistent way to examine people's inferior functions. Should be expected I guess.
 

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My vehicle is INFP, 9w8. Vroom vroom!!
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I will be teaching at school soon. I will catch COVID-19. I don't think any protocol at school will prevent that. It's not if; it's when. I'm trying to figure out what I need to stock at home for myself and my husband(who is also a teacher) just in case we get it really bad. Do we need a large bottle of fever reducer or do we need several large bottles? I really don't want to get it.

I've had trouble preparing my classroom and focusing. It feels wrong. I'm not looking forward to teaching this year. I have to put on a happy face at school though. I have to pretend that I'm doing okay for the students so they don't feel scared. Maybe if I had been teaching longer I would be more willing to be at school and be more loving to the kids. I don't know. It's hard for me to speak to their parents because many of them are racist and have no idea. I have been avoiding them.
 

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I will be teaching at school soon. I will catch COVID-19. I don't think any protocol at school will prevent that. It's not if; it's when. I'm trying to figure out what I need to stock at home for myself and my husband(who is also a teacher) just in case we get it really bad. Do we need a large bottle of fever reducer or do we need several large bottles? I really don't want to get it.

I've had trouble preparing my classroom and focusing. It feels wrong. I'm not looking forward to teaching this year. I have to put on a happy face at school though. I have to pretend that I'm doing okay for the students so they don't feel scared. Maybe if I had been teaching longer I would be more willing to be at school and be more loving to the kids. I don't know. It's hard for me to speak to their parents because many of them are racist and have no idea. I have been avoiding them.
This post very much caught me eye. I find teaching a beautiful, noble profession that I wish I had more respect for in the past. Out of curiosity, what makes you so certain that you will become infected? And wow. I’m sorry that you have to grapple with such racism. Maybe is there a way to communicate how you feel with the principal of the school about how you feel? I can tell that have a lot of courage and care for the well-being of your children. I hope you can recognize some sliver of hope in these circumstances, and that you will have a safe journey ahead.
 

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I will be teaching at school soon. I will catch COVID-19. I don't think any protocol at school will prevent that. It's not if; it's when. I'm trying to figure out what I need to stock at home for myself and my husband(who is also a teacher) just in case we get it really bad. Do we need a large bottle of fever reducer or do we need several large bottles? I really don't want to get it.

I've had trouble preparing my classroom and focusing. It feels wrong. I'm not looking forward to teaching this year. I have to put on a happy face at school though. I have to pretend that I'm doing okay for the students so they don't feel scared. Maybe if I had been teaching longer I would be more willing to be at school and be more loving to the kids. I don't know. It's hard for me to speak to their parents because many of them are racist and have no idea. I have been avoiding them.
Don't know what to recommend, but i will say don't buy lots of toilet roll like some stupid brits, still laughing and perplexed at the absurdity now
 

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I will be teaching at school soon. I will catch COVID-19. I don't think any protocol at school will prevent that. It's not if; it's when....
Not all the nurses and doctors that are treating patients are getting it. I hope you are wrong, however, there certainly is a chance.

I'm trying to figure out what I need to stock at home for myself and my husband(who is also a teacher) just in case we get it really bad. Do we need a large bottle of fever reducer or do we need several large bottles? I really don't want to get it...

  1. Clear face shield and plenty of masks.
  2. Bottles of Tylenol. I bought 2. Packets of Immunity boosters like Emergen-C, Vitafusion Power-C, Airborne, Elderberry gummies, Vitamin D3
  3. Contact your doctor and ask -- "I'm a teacher, what can I do to prevent getting this?" What does he/she recommend?
  4. Pre-made meals (if you are too sick to leave your house, you will be able to eat. If you are too tired to shop, you will have something to eat)
  5. Pet food. Stock up. Cat, dog, bird food.
  6. Gallons of water.
  7. Canned meats -- tuna, salmon, spam, clams, crab, oysters.
  8. Toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, Dawn dish detergent.
  9. Rice
  10. Beans
  11. Flour
  12. Yeast
  13. Load up on female "stuff", you know what I mean.
I bought 98 rolls of toilet paper in March when all this started. Best thing I ever did. You know why? There were fights in the stores over toilet paper. Actual fights. I still have so many rolls left. Sam's Club offers 96 rolls for 41 dollars. I don't even buy toilet paper in the store, I have it shipped.

In March and April and May and even into June -- these aisles were bare: Eggs, juice, butter, cheese, ALL paper products, all rice and flour and yeast, canned meats, canned vegetables. Fresh meat.

Start to think -- if I am sick or too tired from teaching, what can I have in the house, frozen or on the shelf, that I won't have to go out and buy.

Get some immunity boosters. I think I heard something about Vit C, D, coconut oil, boosting immunity. Maybe Zinc? I don't know for sure -- just BOOST your IMMUNITY any single way you can. Don't know what your blood sugar is but keep it normal. I heard this virus loves sugar blood (the 'betes).

Keep mentally strong. This is a war. You are fighting for your life. The virus is the approaching army. Become General Patton. Pray if that is your thing. Meditate if that makes you stronger. I have heard "attitude" really helps keep your immunity up. Some people get this thing and don't even know they have it. Some people, appear to be invincible.

I've had trouble preparing my classroom and focusing. It feels wrong. I'm not looking forward to teaching this year. I have to put on a happy face at school though. I have to pretend that I'm doing okay for the students so they don't feel scared. Maybe if I had been teaching longer I would be more willing to be at school and be more loving to the kids. I don't know. It's hard for me to speak to their parents because many of them are racist and have no idea. I have been avoiding them.
@bigstupidgrin are you around? So many people are not here anymore but.... he used to teach, maybe he is preparing, along with you and has some tips? Any other teachers out there that can help?

GOOD LUCK! ...but prepare! You can at least try to beat this thing.

Oh shoot what is that great quote from HST....

"Pray to God but.............................................. row away from the rocks."
 

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I'm officially at the end of my rope. I have no future, nothing to look forward to, and I ruined all my relationships. Because no matter what I do, I don't have any sense of pleasure or fulfillment. Eating, breathing, living are dreaded chores. I want to die. I don't want to keep on fooling myself that I will find purpose, meaning, or love. There never was anything for me, I was born defective and don't belong anywhere. I hope I don't survive this crisis. If only I could catch the virus without infecting anyone else. Death is the only thing I deserve.
 
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