Like you, I also feel very compressed by darkness. I understand how you feel. I have written so many dazzling words in the past to attempt to uplift others' spirits, but I don't know if they ever truly resounded. I could write some for you, and they would come from the depths of my innermost heart. Instead, all I will say is that I am here for you. Wherever you go, however, lost you feel, whoever you feel you have become, I understand you. I especially am battling an identity crisis now, and it feels like the weight of my entire world has shattered. All that I believed that I was is now lost. But there's a beauty in the darkness. Relish in it, curdle in it. Let its wings gather your heart. And let it guide you to the light again. Darkness is simply a turn away from the light: you can find it again. Perhaps you are destined to find it again in your own beautiful way. And I know what it feels like to feel that there is no beauty in the world. But trust me, I have found it. Little glimmers of light, laughter, love. Try to find it with every passing day. Sometimes we search for something more, but there can be a beauty in what you have. You can create something for yourself, something magnificent. The world seems and often can be dark, limiting, cruel, but it can also be inspiring, evolving, magical. No matter how broken or lost or alone you feel, you are beautiful to me. I can tell you have a compassionate heart. You don't will ill on anybody and that is extraordinary. The world needs that. It needs beams of light from people like you with unique stories. Maybe you don't need to find a purpose because you came into the earth one. Maybe your deformity can heal and inspire others like you, maybe you can carve a place for others like you. Or maybe you have another purpose altogether. But one thing is for sure, although we have lost the light, I believe we can find it again. We can create our own beautiful, miraculous light. We can create purpose, meaning, and love. And we can believe that life can hold something in store for us, someday. Otherwise, we will never know.I'm officially at the end of my rope. I have no future, nothing to look forward to, and I ruined all my relationships. Because no matter what I do, I don't have any sense of pleasure or fulfillment. Eating, breathing, living are dreaded chores. I want to die. I don't want to keep on fooling myself that I will find purpose, meaning, or love. There never was anything for me, I was born defective and don't belong anywhere. I hope I don't survive this crisis. If only I could catch the virus without infecting anyone else. Death is the only thing I deserve.