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some history
 

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If people ask me if i'm kinky, i tell them they could always try to find out if they want to. I mean lol... but i'm however quite secretive and private about it. I mean i don't like to be abused. I want it to be genuine. If it's not, i will pass. And yes, certainly, if with the right woman, i suppose frequency could turn out to be pretty high...
 

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Vent tread? I never tried this before

Hmmz, what do I need to vent? Should I start with your culture as a whole or should I start with level of responsibility based on cultural hierarchy... Who want this shit-bucket?

Nobody, since I already know what is "responsibility" in your culture, whoa. :D
 

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Chile might go communist next year... A communist candidate is leading in the polls. Chile is the birthplace of neoliberalism. IT WOULD BE SYMBOLIC.


Because of this: 37+ deaths, 12000+ injuries, 28000+ locked up, 4 000 000 protestors (25% of population)

According to Jose Miguel Ahumada, a political economist and associate professor at the University of Chile, the country is "one of the most unequal countries in Latin America".[12] As described by The Washington Post, while the last three decades of neoliberal policies made Chile "one of South America’s wealthiest countries, with inflation under control and easy access to credit", they also "created stark economic disparities and strapped many Chileans into debt".[40] The Economic Commission for Latin America and the Caribbean (ECLAC) states, that 1% of the population in Chile controls 26.5% of the country's wealth, while 50% of low-income households access 2.1%. Additionally, according to National Statistics Institute of Chile, while the minimum wage in Chile is 301,000 pesos, half of the workers in that country receive a salary equal to or less than 400,000 pesos.[41]

Protesters interviewed by Reuters said they were struggling to make ends meet because of the high costs of part-privatized education and health systems, rents and utilities, and a privatized pension system has been widely rejected by Chileans because of its low and often delayed payouts.
According to the National Institute of Human Rights (INDH), the use of rubber pellets by security forces has left at least 964 injured, including 222 with eye problems.[109] According to the Chilean Ophthalmology Society, this is the highest number of injuries of this type registered during protests or in conflict zones in the world.[110] Bandaged eyes had become so common that they become a symbol for protesters.[111][112][113]

Human rights organisations have received several reports of violations conducted against protesters, including torture, sexual abuse and rape.[26][27][28][30] Amnesty International's investigations "allege that state security forces, including both the police and army, deliberately use excessive force against protesters."[114] Amnesty International went on to state that "[the military and police] are using unnecessary and excessive force with the intention of injuring and punishing protesters."[115] According to Erika Guevara-Rosas, the America's director for the human rights group, "the intention of the Chilean security forces is clear: to injure demonstrators in order to discourage protest."[116] Human Rights Watch stated that "indiscriminate and improper use of riot guns and shotguns, abuse of detainees in custody, and poor internal accountability systems gave rise to serious violations of the rights of many Chileans".
 

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I firmly believe that unless you truly cannot afford to heat your home, you should not need to wear outdoor gear inside. I gueeeessss a sweatshirt is permissible because it's nice to feel cuddly in a baggy fuzzy thing sometimes but really you shouldn't have to put on a second layer inside your house. That apparently is an oppinion shared by few people, and which ALL thermostats are conspiring against. I don't buy it for a minute when people claim 68 is a great indoor temperature and that the thermostat is correct when it tells them it is 68. NO. I constantly find myself needing fuzzy socks and multiple warm layers and this is not okay. It's annoying to have to deal with bulky layers while sitting on your couch trying to enjoy a movie. You shouldn't have to have a lap blanket every time you sit down. You should NOT have to wear a hat indoors. A HAT!?!?! in my house?!?! My nose should NOT be runny from the cold INDOORS. How is this fine?

Be warm, buy less random stuff and be comfortable in your own home instead.
 

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wisdom or folly? If the main reason to have another child is 'so the kid you've already got will have family when they're old'

- there's no guarantee siblings will actually be close and supportive, more likely if you raise them right I suppose, but there's also the possibility their personalities will clash badly, or that the next kid will have some health or mental issue that will in fact burden the first kid, or will take a lot away from the first kid. Here honey I'm giving you the gift of a sibling! riiiiiiiiiight.....

- but of course siblings can have awesome relationships and be very good for eachother and supportive in the future when parents are too old or gone, and all that. It's just... not guaranteed.

- I mean, personally, I do not want to go through birthing again. so much NOPE. I don't want to feel like I'm 95 after the fact, and become a momzilla to my little sweetheart because my newer sweetheart is draining every last drop out of me in more than one way. I don't want to deal with 'we can't have any thing nice' for another 4 years now that we're just starting to get past that point. I really don't want to go through the anxiety of potty training again with plastic all over the floor and scrubbing up gross accidents - not to mention the years of diapers before that. I don't want to go to sleep every night for another year or two with the anxiety that this tiny baby is going to somehow stop breathing if I'm not constantly watching. I doooooo really miss the tiny cuddly adorable parts of the baby stage, I would love to experience again the incredible honor of introducing a brand new person to the world, new babies are incredible. But... I haven't forgotten the extreme misery and stress and utter exhaustion of having a baby, it hasn't really faded like people claimed it would. I hate having my attention pulled in different directions, I find it super discombobulating at times between her and my husband, I really don't want another pull on my attention - all the time. So... for myself, do I want another baby.... kinda maybe not really no. Would I do the best I could to be the best mom for both if I did have another one, yes of course, but I can't help feeling that my quality of momming would indeed go down given how I've felt so overwhelmed these past 4 years with just one.

- I don't want the daughter I already have to feel more like a little mother than a friend given a 5 year difference and the near inevitablilty of the role of 'mama's helper'. I don't want her to have to wait till she's past due for experiences because her sibling is too little to watch things or go places or do things as a family. I don't want to loose the closeness I have with her and fun times we share because I'm glued to the infant's needs and limits. I don't want to be torn between devotion to two different kids best interests. If one of them moves away - how could I choose who to live closest to? If one turns out to be super needy, how can I pour everything into that child that they need without leaving the other with the short end of the stick.

I don't like risk. I don't like banking on a hope while dire possibilities loom in the background, I'm one for stopping while you're ahead, and I'm a strong introvert. I dunno. I also adore children, I really do even if they are exhausting. I love family. I.... how do I make this choice? How...? My not choosing is a choice, time is ticking. I cannot imagine having had another child sooner than this, and yet now it feels like they'd be too far apart. I guess it also wouldn't be so hard if there wasn't so much pressure and expectation from others that it's a crime to not have siblings. because let me tell you, I was happy to be an only child. I don't regret it now, I didn't then. I'm happy I don't have to share my mom. Am I a terrible human being for that? Who knows. Would I love having the bond of siblinghood? probably, I love closeness and family after all, but... yeah the introverted me appreciated being an only child in many ways. despite being poorer than many of my friends families, I got to travel more because we only needed 2 tickets. I felt like I got more special things - like mom-made dresses - because they didn't need to be duplicated to keep siblings feeling even. I played with family friends and cousins, I didn't feel deprived of social experience. I can certainly imagine having a rich and wonderful bond with a sibling that would be different from friends, and I'd be happy for my daughter to have that, but at the same time I don't know if I can confidently say I think the possible trade offs would be worth it? I really don't know. This is a terrible cunundrum. I can see myself regretting it either way. I can see my daughter regretting it either way. I can see my husband regretting it either way. I have no idea how to choose. But I should choose soon, because I know I don't want to have kids when I'm much older than I am now. I don't think about it all that often actually, but when I do I really swing wildly back and forth, but feel like more of those times are No. than Yes. so... I guess that's where I'm at right now.....
 

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LOL!!! it might snow on old year's eve and night... FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 8 YEARS!!! january is likely going to be cold for large parts in Europe!!!
 

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WOW.

Much colder than normal in Western Europe. Snow in large parts of Europe.

SPAIN ALMOST ENTIRELY COVERED IN SNOW BY JANUARY 8 (France and Germany too)
 

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World record for high air pressure might have been set in Mongolia as region gripped by brutal cold

New official world record for highest air pressure measured in Mongolia, 1094.3 hPa, with a corresponding temperature of -45.5 ° C. There has been a powerful high-pressure area here in the region of Kazakhstan for months now, which is hindering the smooth passage of weather systems. In fact, it has put so much pressure on the stratosphere that it has become disrupted, which is good for our winter chances. To the east it is completely blocked, but on the ocean it is no better. It is also blocked there. The result is a mild & calm winter weather type dominating over Western Europe for the beginning of January. With potential for more later on



also NOBODY EXPECTS THE KAZAKH INQUISITION... HAHA
 

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The polar vortex will split (ex. 2008-2009). This will be beneficial to winter weather in Europe and the eastern US!!! A disrupted polar vortex means there will be anarchy in the atmosphere, with unusual & weird weather patterns throughout the northern hemisphere for the next two months!!!

 

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It's going to be time after 8 YEARS OF WAITING

The Spring 2013 United Kingdom cold spell was a period of unusually cold weather in the United Kingdom between 6 March and early April 2013. The cold spell consisted of very low temperatures and significant snowfall. Freezing temperatures worsened due to the significant overcast and cloud covered skies. Extensive snowfall occurred on 11 and 12 March in the South East, North and West of England and Wales. Most parts of England, north Wales and the Isle of Man also suffered heavy persistent snowfall on 22 and 23 March 2013.
During the cold spell, the low temperatures were not extreme, yet they were notable because of the extended duration of below average temperatures. Official weather reports show that temperatures stayed below 0°C (32°F) for nine consecutive days.[1] March 2013 was reported to be tied for the country's fourth-coldest March since 1910. Mean temperatures were 2.5 to 3°C (4 to 5°F) below-average from February to early April, and there was a continuous, strong, cold easterly wind.[2] 31 March was confirmed by the Met Office as the coldest Easter Day on record, with the lowest temperature reaching −12.5 °C (9.5 °F) in Braemar.[3] The Central England Temperature, a long run of weather records dating back to 1659, reported its lowest March average since 1883. Furthermore, March was the coldest month of 2013 and the coldest month of the winter season of 2012–13.[4]
The Western European winter storm March 2013 was a late season snow event that affected Southern England, Belgium, Northern France and Germany on 12 March 2013. It was notable for its effects particularly in Northern France where snowfall totals reached 24 in (61 cm)
The March 2013 United Kingdom winter storm was an exceptional weather event that took place in the United Kingdom and Ireland on the night of 22–23 March 2013. Described as 'the worst snowfall for 30 years',[4] the event brought chaos to many parts of Northern England, Northern Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland. The worst places affected were North West England, North East Wales and Northern Ireland. Also accompanying the snow were very strong winds and very cold weather. At least two deaths were reported.[4]

Up to 4.0 ft (48 in) of snow was reported to have fallen in some places with up to 10 ft (120 in) drifts. 15 ft (180 in) drifts were reported in Lancashire. 1 ft (12 in) of snow fell even to low levels in parts of North East Wales.[4]

For many, the lowest daily maximum temperature of the month occurred on 24 March, just after the passing of the storm.[12] At Cairngorm, the maximum temperature on 24 March was only −8.8 °C (16.2 °F).

Winds were very strong during the event; average wind speeds of up to 60mph were recorded in the worst-hit areas of north-west England, south-west Scotland and Northern Ireland. This led to widespread disruption
First snow in late March since 1952, coldest winter spell since 1873

MARCH 2013 WAS INSANE!!!!

only 1748, 1785 and 1789 and yes 1873 were colder.
 

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wisdom or folly? If the main reason to have another child is 'so the kid you've already got will have family when they're old'

- there's no guarantee siblings will actually be close and supportive, more likely if you raise them right I suppose, but there's also the possibility their personalities will clash badly, or that the next kid will have some health or mental issue that will in fact burden the first kid, or will take a lot away from the first kid. Here honey I'm giving you the gift of a sibling! riiiiiiiiiight.....

- but of course siblings can have awesome relationships and be very good for eachother and supportive in the future when parents are too old or gone, and all that. It's just... not guaranteed.

- I mean, personally, I do not want to go through birthing again. so much NOPE. I don't want to feel like I'm 95 after the fact, and become a momzilla to my little sweetheart because my newer sweetheart is draining every last drop out of me in more than one way. I don't want to deal with 'we can't have any thing nice' for another 4 years now that we're just starting to get past that point. I really don't want to go through the anxiety of potty training again with plastic all over the floor and scrubbing up gross accidents - not to mention the years of diapers before that. I don't want to go to sleep every night for another year or two with the anxiety that this tiny baby is going to somehow stop breathing if I'm not constantly watching. I doooooo really miss the tiny cuddly adorable parts of the baby stage, I would love to experience again the incredible honor of introducing a brand new person to the world, new babies are incredible. But... I haven't forgotten the extreme misery and stress and utter exhaustion of having a baby, it hasn't really faded like people claimed it would. I hate having my attention pulled in different directions, I find it super discombobulating at times between her and my husband, I really don't want another pull on my attention - all the time. So... for myself, do I want another baby.... kinda maybe not really no. Would I do the best I could to be the best mom for both if I did have another one, yes of course, but I can't help feeling that my quality of momming would indeed go down given how I've felt so overwhelmed these past 4 years with just one.

- I don't want the daughter I already have to feel more like a little mother than a friend given a 5 year difference and the near inevitablilty of the role of 'mama's helper'. I don't want her to have to wait till she's past due for experiences because her sibling is too little to watch things or go places or do things as a family. I don't want to loose the closeness I have with her and fun times we share because I'm glued to the infant's needs and limits. I don't want to be torn between devotion to two different kids best interests. If one of them moves away - how could I choose who to live closest to? If one turns out to be super needy, how can I pour everything into that child that they need without leaving the other with the short end of the stick.

I don't like risk. I don't like banking on a hope while dire possibilities loom in the background, I'm one for stopping while you're ahead, and I'm a strong introvert. I dunno. I also adore children, I really do even if they are exhausting. I love family. I.... how do I make this choice? How...? My not choosing is a choice, time is ticking. I cannot imagine having had another child sooner than this, and yet now it feels like they'd be too far apart. I guess it also wouldn't be so hard if there wasn't so much pressure and expectation from others that it's a crime to not have siblings. because let me tell you, I was happy to be an only child. I don't regret it now, I didn't then. I'm happy I don't have to share my mom. Am I a terrible human being for that? Who knows. Would I love having the bond of siblinghood? probably, I love closeness and family after all, but... yeah the introverted me appreciated being an only child in many ways. despite being poorer than many of my friends families, I got to travel more because we only needed 2 tickets. I felt like I got more special things - like mom-made dresses - because they didn't need to be duplicated to keep siblings feeling even. I played with family friends and cousins, I didn't feel deprived of social experience. I can certainly imagine having a rich and wonderful bond with a sibling that would be different from friends, and I'd be happy for my daughter to have that, but at the same time I don't know if I can confidently say I think the possible trade offs would be worth it? I really don't know. This is a terrible cunundrum. I can see myself regretting it either way. I can see my daughter regretting it either way. I can see my husband regretting it either way. I have no idea how to choose. But I should choose soon, because I know I don't want to have kids when I'm much older than I am now. I don't think about it all that often actually, but when I do I really swing wildly back and forth, but feel like more of those times are No. than Yes. so... I guess that's where I'm at right now.....
 

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I was also an only child. I wish I had had a sibling, but perhaps that is because we did not live near cousins and my parents are both introverted. Also because our family was very disfunctional....

I have two kids now. 20m apart. They are both teens now. It was rough. I know what you mean about being so drained when they are babies. With your first being 5y old now, the pandemic notwithstanding, it is probably close to the first time you have felt a sense of freedom. Like, being able to go to the bathroom with the door shut. Personally, I expected to love having kids, staying home with them, raising up to 6 in my utopian view of motherhood. It was more like counting the hours until I could escape to solitude ans, like you alluded to, wondering when my home decor wasn't Fisher-price meets Playmobile. I was stressed to say the least. I begged to stay a day longer in the hospital after my first was born but my husband wouldn't allow it.

That brings me to another point that may have skewed my feelings. My husband became verbally and emotionally abusive. I say became, but most likely it was just more pronounced as the family grew. I didn't have the emotional or physical support I needed. I don't know if it's an INFP thing or not, but I didn't have a group of mommy friends either.

I would say, if you aren't 100% wanting a second child, and if you are describing the kind of utter exhaustion, mental wipe, scattered state I recall being in then don't. Concentrate on your first and on yourself now so that you can be the mother you want to be. Provide ample socializing and be an example of important how self-care is. Basically, put the oxygen mask on yourself first then tend to your child. It doesn't work the other way around and you find yourself suffocating and trying to grasp at your child for help. Not healthy and worse than "not having a sibling".
This is all from my perspective. There are always other things in one's life that make situations unique.
 

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I have two kids now. 20m apart. They are both teens now. It was rough. I know what you mean about being so drained when they are babies. With your first being 5y old now, the pandemic notwithstanding, it is probably close to the first time you have felt a sense of freedom. Like, being able to go to the bathroom with the door shut.
yes exactly, the only reason I'm even considering it is that I'm beginning to recover, although there are still days when I feel like I'm going to scream if I hear "mama" one more time, and I'm still going bonkers from the constant interruptions of everything I attempt to do - I feel like I can never just finish something, I have to keep dropping whatever I've started to go help my daughter with one thing or another, or answer screaming that may or may not actually be dire - but you can't ignore it because you never know when it's going to be that time when there's pee all over the bathroom and her cleaning it by herself is making it worse, or her hair is caught on the dresser knob and she literally can't move. :rolleyes:

Personally, I expected to love having kids, staying home with them, raising up to 6 in my utopian view of motherhood. It was more like counting the hours until I could escape to solitude and, like you alluded to, wondering when my home decor wasn't Fisher-price meets Playmobile. I was stressed to say the least.
same here. I have always loved kids and enjoyed babysitting and working at a daycare with kids. But I actually cannot fathom how anyone manages more than one child of their own. I've been so overwhelmed, and while this may not be true a second time, the first year and was utter misery because of untreated yeast infections inside my milk ducts which made every time I nursed a torture session of hot irons and needle stabbings, yet no one seemed to believe me and just thought I needed to toughen up or thought I hadn't taught her how to nurse properly. So that part certainly has skewed the experience a little.

That brings me to another point that may have skewed my feelings. My husband became verbally and emotionally abusive. I say became, but most likely it was just more pronounced as the family grew. I didn't have the emotional or physical support I needed. I don't know if it's an INFP thing or not, but I didn't have a group of mommy friends either.
wow, I've been through emotional abuse before I met my husband, and can imagine that on top of new-mom-hood.... my sincere sympathies and congratulations for getting through!

I would say, if you aren't 100% wanting a second child, and if you are describing the kind of utter exhaustion, mental wipe, scattered state I recall being in then don't. Concentrate on your first and on yourself now so that you can be the mother you want to be. Provide ample socializing and be an example of important how self-care is. Basically, put the oxygen mask on yourself first then tend to your child. It doesn't work the other way around and you find yourself suffocating and trying to grasp at your child for help. Not healthy and worse than "not having a sibling".
This is all from my perspective. There are always other things in one's life that make situations unique.
thank you so much for responding, I needed to feel heard and needed to hear at least a single person not guilt tripping me to have another child.
 

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I still don't understand why i'm alive. Like i was cutting one year and a half ago, and it wasn't with the intention to die. It wasn't and suddenly i freaked out because the blood spit out UPWARDS with pulses and the pace i lost blood was insane. I thought arteries were very deep in the body, but the only explanation was that i did hit the brachial artery (an upper arm artery). I didn't try to stop the bleeding, almost completely overwhelmed by euphoria and adrenalin. I thought if death was that peaceful, that was too beautiful to be the truth. I didn't felt any pain, yet i was losing blood at a fast rate.

Sources online say you usually pass out after several minutes and face death in 5 minutes. That didn't happen. I went unconsciousness after 15 minutes but the blood clotted without any medical intervention needed. I must have lost 2-3 litres of blood. My apartment was just one pool of dark red blood. I HAD NEVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT EVEN IN MOVIES.

I still survived that. But why didn't I die is the million dollar question. Perhaps all the internet sources are wrong about duration/severity of the injury. Perhaps i only partially did cut it (which could have been lethal as well) and perhaps I was just lucky. It could have been an combination of those three reasons.

But since that day, a lot changed. It changed my view on life, as well on death. But I had two main questions. WHY was i able to (partially) cut the brachial artery accidentally and WHY didn't I die because of it.

But if i did in fact partially cut it must have meant i flirted with death and even less of a mm deeper, would have been certainly lethal. Just a fraction of a mm would have done the job, which is a scary thought.

My injury would have been lethal to a lot of people too. My blood tends to clot faster than other people, so I suspect with my assumed partial injury, most would have died with the same injury.

I was very tired for two weeks, almost being unable to do any physical activity or getting out of bed. My blood pressure was consistently very low as well. The amount of blood I lost was a lot, and I had to recover from that. I had to take supplements to create new fresh and healthy blood. I got more energy after two weeks, and my blood pressure went back to normal levels.

I also found one explanation to why I was able to cut that artery. When I did it, i had underweight, almost to the point of being anorexic. It's much easier to hit an artery if you have zero fat, because basically there's no fat to protect your vital functions, including the artery. Still i'm probably lucky i didn't hit a tendon or something like that, because i could have amputated my arm or lost sense in almost all of my left arm if you cut badly.
 

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What the hell... i even lost more weight. I'm underweight again!!!
 

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I believe it is the INFP forum that contains the most new posts. Novelty lies here.
Just as it is known
That an image of one's face is seen
Depending on a mirror
But does not really exist as a face,
So the conception of "I" exists
Dependent on mind and body,
But like the image of a face
The "I" does not at all exist as its own reality.
 

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I have made some mistakes in my life, by remaining passive, that ruined my life and I am not sure if I can fix it. If I can save myself.
 
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