Stream of Consciousness/Vent Thread
[INFP]
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I don't know whether I'm an introvert (INFP, INTP) or an extrovert (ENFP, ENTP). My friends think I'm extroverted whereas I think I'm introverted. Whenever I tell my INTJ friend that I'm introverted I get the death glare.
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I love the huge red light district in my town. It must be one of the biggest ones in size esp. in comparison with inhabitants in Belgium!!! I like the red lights aesthetically. I love red lights. I never went to one though.
The only tourism we have here is sex tourism, perhaps also WW1 tourism, and cycling tourism (we have famous steep hilly cobblestone roads)
The only tourism we have here is sex tourism, perhaps also WW1 tourism, and cycling tourism (we have famous steep hilly cobblestone roads)
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I really don't get why the Katla volcano in Iceland isn't erupting... since 2000 BC it erupted every 20-40 years usually producing VEI-4 (like Anak Krakatau that caused a tsunami and the deadliest eruption of the 21st century in 2018) to VEI 6 (the latest one was Mother Krakatau in 1886). The longest interval period of rest during that time was 80 years and it produced the largest eruption with ashes that fell in Norway causing a tephra layer in Norway.
It hasn't erupted since 1918. It hasn't. In the latest 4000 years, it has never been so quiet for such a long time. Why? Currently of all the monitored volcanoes that are known to produce CO2 than this one, only 2 volcanoes produce more CO2. It's also seismically active. But it doesn't go boom, delaying the inevitable and potentially making the next one a catastrophic eruption. (High end VEI 6 which would be the largest eruption in the latest 130 years at least.). It's also situated in the western world.
In 939 it produced one of the largest known flood basalt eruptions in modern history, surpassing Laki (but Laki had a larger effect worldwide andwas also probably more toxic). 800 km² was covered by lava. 18km³ of magma came out of earth (compared to 85km² and 1.4km³ by the 2014 eruption of Holuhraun and the 35km² by the Hawaii eruption in 2018.
This is going to say BANG and we will feel it.
It hasn't erupted since 1918. It hasn't. In the latest 4000 years, it has never been so quiet for such a long time. Why? Currently of all the monitored volcanoes that are known to produce CO2 than this one, only 2 volcanoes produce more CO2. It's also seismically active. But it doesn't go boom, delaying the inevitable and potentially making the next one a catastrophic eruption. (High end VEI 6 which would be the largest eruption in the latest 130 years at least.). It's also situated in the western world.
In 939 it produced one of the largest known flood basalt eruptions in modern history, surpassing Laki (but Laki had a larger effect worldwide andwas also probably more toxic). 800 km² was covered by lava. 18km³ of magma came out of earth (compared to 85km² and 1.4km³ by the 2014 eruption of Holuhraun and the 35km² by the Hawaii eruption in 2018.
This is going to say BANG and we will feel it.
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The most dangerous volcanoes that are capable of very large eruptions are during our lifetime
Laguna del Maule (Chile)
Iwo-Jima (Japan)
Okataina (New Zealand)
Serdan-Oriental (Mexico)
There are others that are also dangerous, but they're not likely to erupt (Long Valley, Yellowstone, Toba, Taupo) or too small (like Katla, Sakurajima, Rainier, Agung, Ilopango, ...) while having regardless very dangerous circumstances in certain situations (near populated areas). A volcanic eruption doesn't have to be very powerful. One of the deadliest volcanic eruptions was only a VEI 3. In one of the deadliest eruptions in the 21st century, the volcano didn't even erupt... it just released gases that intoxicated over 500 people.
Laguna del Maule (Chile)
Iwo-Jima (Japan)
Okataina (New Zealand)
Serdan-Oriental (Mexico)
There are others that are also dangerous, but they're not likely to erupt (Long Valley, Yellowstone, Toba, Taupo) or too small (like Katla, Sakurajima, Rainier, Agung, Ilopango, ...) while having regardless very dangerous circumstances in certain situations (near populated areas). A volcanic eruption doesn't have to be very powerful. One of the deadliest volcanic eruptions was only a VEI 3. In one of the deadliest eruptions in the 21st century, the volcano didn't even erupt... it just released gases that intoxicated over 500 people.
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I've met an ENTP a few days ago. The magic is there. It feels like we know each other for years, lol...
I also met other people: IxTJ leaning towards N, ISTx leaning towards P, one i can't type (perhaps also ISTJ) and an ExTJ leaning towards N.
I like the ENTP most. The INTJ is also ok, so is the ISTP. The ENTJ is also good, but can stress me out. The ISTJ has severe ASD i believe, and it's hard to build a connection with him.
Also people say ExTJ can exhaust INFP's. It's sort of true, but ISFJ's and ESFJ's do that much more. I feel like i struggle most with xSFJ, and I've a lot of experience with them.7
I feel like we can work better with ExTJ while xSFJ lead to much more conflicts and setbacks.
I also met other people: IxTJ leaning towards N, ISTx leaning towards P, one i can't type (perhaps also ISTJ) and an ExTJ leaning towards N.
I like the ENTP most. The INTJ is also ok, so is the ISTP. The ENTJ is also good, but can stress me out. The ISTJ has severe ASD i believe, and it's hard to build a connection with him.
Also people say ExTJ can exhaust INFP's. It's sort of true, but ISFJ's and ESFJ's do that much more. I feel like i struggle most with xSFJ, and I've a lot of experience with them.7
I feel like we can work better with ExTJ while xSFJ lead to much more conflicts and setbacks.
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Also my theory that child abuse / trauma is correlated with ASD. My foster brother of 4 is confirmed to have ASD, and he is also abused. Something doesn't seem right. Would me and him having been diagnosed without being abused. I don't think so.
Realizing that so many of my issues with communication are because the 'tried and true formulas' do NOT work with my own family. We don't talk right with each other, and at this point it's been 20+ years of this...
But I can talk to my friends so easily, and we can set boundaries and not have hard feelings or hold intense grudges. That honesty and transparency, I've been craving my entire life.
I love my family, I really do. Despite everything that I have, and am currently experiencing in my relationships with them.
But damn does it feel good to be HEARD, and to hear someone else (who isn't personally attacking you).
The past couple of years, I've wondered if I was still 'broken'. Even after the self-improvement and mental health help, I just didn't feel right. But now that I know it's not me.....burden lifted.
But I can talk to my friends so easily, and we can set boundaries and not have hard feelings or hold intense grudges. That honesty and transparency, I've been craving my entire life.
I love my family, I really do. Despite everything that I have, and am currently experiencing in my relationships with them.
But damn does it feel good to be HEARD, and to hear someone else (who isn't personally attacking you).
The past couple of years, I've wondered if I was still 'broken'. Even after the self-improvement and mental health help, I just didn't feel right. But now that I know it's not me.....burden lifted.
Right now I have nothing to vent..., I am instead just doing subconscious calculations...
I also just tried some focused instant equation, it is 65.1917801782 percent that I will sorted into Hufflepuff rather than Ravenclaw, but the fault is on me, since I only used those two houses as parameters, I should re-do the same setup with all four houses.
I have a fun life..., all I do is to focus on a question, and almost instantly, I get an answer, from what I call, a simulated Ni-Fi-loop, as well as also "feeling" all kinds of stuff in my environment..., good I do not fall into the trap calling it ESP...
I also just tried some focused instant equation, it is 65.1917801782 percent that I will sorted into Hufflepuff rather than Ravenclaw, but the fault is on me, since I only used those two houses as parameters, I should re-do the same setup with all four houses.
I have a fun life..., all I do is to focus on a question, and almost instantly, I get an answer, from what I call, a simulated Ni-Fi-loop, as well as also "feeling" all kinds of stuff in my environment..., good I do not fall into the trap calling it ESP...
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I can see the INFP and the enneagram 8 working in you simultaneously and it is so interesting to me. You are like an enigma. Feel better about whatever you are going through. Family relations can be (read are) tough. Imo siblings are the best bets in family relationships. Not that they have worked well for me (yes, it feels good to say these things), but that need not be the case everywhere else. I think if people can accept that they don't trust each other, it can be a good point to start rebuilding relationships. Of course, the intention would be required from both sides, the can't clap with one hand cliché. Talking about clapping with one hand, I actually once tried to clap with one hand, strangely it does work in a muted sort of a way.
So, you never know. I wish some quirk would make infps more adventurous. The ifps are so reserved with their feelings. At the risk of getting a little or a lot hurt, ifps have really good potential for an open social life.amidst definitely sounds better. I don't know how serious the concern with snobbery is around you.
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so darned stressed out about the job interview. Had a very bad last couple of days. Ever since the shift in the new house, I have not been as comfortable as I usually am. The house came with a lot of perks. There is more calmness. But the vacancy in life gets reflected in the big empty house. The empty bookshelf, the lack of furniture, no people visiting. Just so lonely. And all hell would break loose on me if I mention any of it to my intj wife. She has her plan going on. Nothing can disturb that. What about my plan. I sit here and I worry. I worry about the job interview and every trivial thing that might go wrong. Gone are the days when I wanted to scream out my problems. I just want to talk, to someone. Pour my heart out in feelings. Have that person laugh with me at my silly troubles. Get to the deeper truth of my heart. But there is no one like that. I sit here morosely ignoring all the good things I do have in my life. Good that I figured that screaming won't help. Still miles away from figuring out what will work eventually.
I'm unintentionally mysterious, I assure you.I can see the INFP and the enneagram 8 working in you simultaneously and it is so interesting to me. You are like an enigma. Feel better about whatever you are going through. Family relations can be (read are) tough. Imo siblings are the best bets in family relationships. Not that they have worked well for me (yes, it feels good to say these things), but that need not be the case everywhere else. I think if people can accept that they don't trust each other, it can be a good point to start rebuilding relationships. Of course, the intention would be required from both sides, the can't clap with one hand cliché. Talking about clapping with one hand, I actually once tried to clap with one hand, strangely it does work in a muted sort of a way.
amidst definitely sounds better. I don't know how serious the concern with snobbery is around you.
There are certain constants to my personality/behavior that remain in whichever group I'm participating in (fairly direct, fun-loving, helpful), but the others just present themselves as they wish!Yes, I would die for each and every one of my siblings. We had our puberty-emotion-laden spats years ago, but I don't think there are any other people currently that I could truly be myself around if I chose to be. Your point about trust is very true. I'm scared to tell certain family members that I don't trust them. It is because of their behavior that I cannot trust them, but the spiraling and the "what have I ever done to you"s are so exhausting, y'know? I have had to stand there and let them hurl any kind of assumptions and comments my way, not allowed to speak back because "I know they're right, and I'm [insert negative trait]". We've had so many other conversations that were more superficial, and it just reinforces how vastly different they view me vs. my true self. I used to think it was frightening to be known even once in my life, but I am so much more horrified by being unknown my entire life by the people who raised me.
That's where my 8 comes in!
I don't know if anyone would ever define me as reckless, but I do like to take chances once I've settled on something. My INFJ friend told me the other day that they don't want to "work for something they want".. they just want to 'magick' that experience/job/relationship their way. I might have related to that sentiment when I was even just a few years younger, but I was pretty shocked to hear that. How could you not take a chance if you thought it was right?I'm in academia, all the snobs congregate there (I'm trying to be LESS snobby so that my work makes sense to those not in my field...I loathe the Ivory Tower).
thanks!
Good luck friend. Sometimes counting your blessings can be a good reminder for the joys you have to look forward to (big and small), but don't ignore bigger problems.
I changed my life last year Jan 2020 by devoting myself to being 100 percent authentic all the time instead of wearing a mask to please people. Took me on a long journey, tested relationships, trauma rose to the surface, and ended up in treatment. in treatment developed heightened intuition, empathy, concern for the well being of others, charisma, hope, potential, limitlessness. I also had a delusion. got hospitalized for that and put on medication that killed my positive qualities but didnt stop my delusion. very frustrated because i lost these things and they arent coming back. very sad about this as i had finally found my niche in the world and then i lost it.
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There are always different ways you can find your positive qualities back.
I still hold onto some hope that's true
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Well crap. Co-worker tested positive, which means I am forced to work from home (i hate that) and have to make an appointment for a test myself somewhere along next week. That's alot of cumbersome unnecessities in the practical tangible world.
Luckily my brain remains untouched. Just daydream all the boringness awaayyyyy....
Luckily my brain remains untouched. Just daydream all the boringness awaayyyyy....
I hope your coworker recovers quickly and that you feel okay.
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