[neologismaker]

I am extremely confident in my Ne.

I think either my Fi comes off as Fe, or I have a strong Fe. I'm fairly certain I have Fi. My values are at the core of my expression. Fairness and honesty are equally important to me. I value others' honesty and strive to be a person with whom others can feel open and safe, yet at the same time, I find myself trying to edit negative conversation so that it's balanced. I don't like complaining and blame. Perceived manipulation and lies make me seethe, whether they're to me or someone else. On the one hand, I take criticism poorly, and on the other hand, I feel it is important to be fair with one's judgments. I was raised to have good manners, and my experience has taught me no one foolish enough to attempt reason when they're angry is worth listening to. Smiling, remembering names, trying to be a good neighbor--no one said I was good at any of this, by the way xDDDD just that I feel it's important to try--and to keep balanced opinions are all supposedly characteristic of Fe, yet I feel those things are important because... they are. I'm still pretty socially awkward, because that mode of expression is most comfortable for me. I'm a homebody. I don't like having more than ten-twenty friends at the same time, either, to be perfectly honest xDDDDD

Tl;dr: Here is my question. If social graces are a value to a Fi user, will they cultivate Fe as a result? Or, were they using Fi all along? For those who read my above paragraph, is it possible I'm not using Fi at all, but Fe? All help is appreciated!

 

[illicit iridescence]

I am extremely confident in my Ne.

I think either my Fi comes off as Fe, or I have a strong Fe. I'm fairly certain I have Fi. My values are at the core of my expression. Fairness and honesty are equally important to me. I value others' honesty and strive to be a person with whom others can feel open and safe, yet at the same time, I find myself trying to edit negative conversation so that it's balanced. I don't like complaining and blame. Perceived manipulation and lies make me seethe, whether they're to me or someone else. On the one hand, I take criticism poorly, and on the other hand, I feel it is important to be fair with one's judgments. I was raised to have good manners, and my experience has taught me no one foolish enough to attempt reason when they're angry is worth listening to. Smiling, remembering names, trying to be a good neighbor--no one said I was good at any of this, by the way xDDDD just that I feel it's important to try--and to keep balanced opinions are all supposedly characteristic of Fe, yet I feel those things are important because... they are. I'm still pretty socially awkward, because that mode of expression is most comfortable for me. I'm a homebody. I don't like having more than ten-twenty friends at the same time, either, to be perfectly honest xDDDDD

Tl;dr: Here is my question. If social graces are a value to a Fi user, will they cultivate Fe as a result? Or, were they using Fi all along? For those who read my above paragraph, is it possible I'm not using Fi at all, but Fe? All help is appreciated!

That is an interesting question that has been busying my mind as well. :3

At the core, F is about evaluating/judging through feelings. Fi does this inwardly, Fe does this outwardly. The only example that I think is truly representative is the sympathy/empathy difference. When dealing with other people's feelings, Fe is like sympathizing: if a person is sad, Fe is sad. Fi is like empathizing: if a person is sad, Fi is sad because Fi imagines itself in the person's shoes to feel the sadness. They both end up feeling sad because the person is sad, but they go different ways about it.

Fe's personal values are based on what is externally validated, Fi's personal values are based on what is internally validated.

I think if you value social graces and put them to practice, you're at least cultivating social graces ^^ As for cultivating Fe in this way, maybe yes, but I can't tell for sure. ^^;

 

[IAmOrangeToday]

I have loads of Fe traits too. I think it's definitely possible for any type to develop their use of a function, so you might have developed your Fe somehow. Alternatively, it's also possible that we might both have Fi values that cause us to act as if we had Fe e.g. Being courteous.

 

[mushr00m]

I think some Fe traits can actually be Fi traits when you get to the root of them. For example, manners and etiquette was mentioned as an Fe thing but manners for some people is also strong personal value they hold and on reciept of a rude interaction from someone else, that value has been broken, so is the need for manners is either more based of subjective analogy or more broader, social acceptances that should be adhered to, few questions asked. When someone is rude to me, my values have been violated so I adhere to social manners as much as I can because its something that I personally respect and expected to be treated with respect too, this for me is a strongly held subjective belief that I believe others should also respect. Whats the underlying reasons for assuming Fe traits. Pardon me, im just having another brainwave, just some thoughts.

 

[Hycocritical truth teller]

Tl;dr: Here is my question. If social graces are a value to a Fi user, will they cultivate Fe as a result? Or, were they using Fi all along? For those who read my above paragraph, is it possible I'm not using Fi at all, but Fe? All help is appreciated!

you see this is a very good question i already ask myself few times about people who claim they use Fi and Fe. I had often a question in my head is it possible for Fi users have personal values which may manifest itself as Fe?
My guess is that it's very much possible and it's maybe an answer so someone's doubts.
Nevertheless, i don't always differ Fi and Fe myself, and i think you have to look at the deep core of thous two function to understand it. My boyfriend is an ENFJ aka Fe dominant and trust me his feeling often appears as Fi to me but in reality all his sentences he ever said are pure Fe and it's sure that is his best function. I find it very good to look at the traits of a person who uses Fe and one who uses Fi and to notice slight differences - in the end i think it's quite obvious on an example why is one person Fi and the other Fe.

I can say that on ISFP example. Often i heard ISFPs saying they want peace for everybody and for everybody in the world to be happy. Some of them at least i heard say this. Fe sentence is "i wanna make everybody happy.". This can appear very similar to people and for a moment can make them have doubts about boundaries between Fi and Fe. But ISFP is Fi dominant. And their personal value is that everybody should be the same and get the same amount of happiness aka it's an Fi personal value.

And people often claim you can't tell them they are using or not using both functions just because theory doesn't supports it. I am supportive when people say "its hard to explain but you don't know what is in my head" - i understand that as i often have this feeling as well. I always remember that it must be for a reason that theory is not supporting it but there is always a possibility of smth new. But also in order to claim smth it would be good to know necessary information in order to claim such a thing. It's not saying someone is wrong or right - just encouraging other's to start their introspection. But i often have even too much faith in this theory and i believe it explains and provides a lot for people to understand themselves and other's better. And also to accept others and themselves.

 

[Jazz0101]

Eh....I think it has to do with how you were raised. You said you were raised to have good manners so this is something that's important to you. Thats like saying I have some of the traits of 'J' because I like things to be very organized and I vacum and clean daily. I don't. Just having neat surroundings is something that's important to me based on how I was raised. Doesn't mean that you have strong 'fe' just means that being friendly and polite is one of your values. Not so really for me. HA HA...but..just because someone is FE DOM doesn't mean that that person is going to be the most polite mannerly person..An ENFJ I knew was extremely pushy, and intrusive. While he was friendly, open and sympathetic I wouldn't say that he was any more polite than I was just because he was Fe Dom.

 

[Hycocritical truth teller]

Eh....I think it has to do with how you were raised. You said you were raised to have good manners so this is something that's important to you. Thats like saying I have some of the traits of 'J' because I like things to be very organized and I vacum and clean daily. I don't. Just having neat surroundings is something that's important to me based on how I was raised. Doesn't mean that you have strong 'fe' just means that being friendly and polite is one of your values. Not so really for me. HA HA...but..just because someone is FE DOM doesn't mean that that person is going to be the most polite mannerly person..An ENFJ I knew was extremely pushy, and intrusive. While he was friendly, open and sympathetic I wouldn't say that he was any more polite than I was just because he was Fe Dom.

When i introduced for the first time people with this MBTI theory they all had thous "myth" conclusions about types. For example ENFJ or ESFJ being very caring and very charming. The truth is - one ESFJ i know is skillful with people but he is not the best in saying the right thing always. My boyfriend is an ENFJ - ok he is very charming to me and i like him the most dearly, he does come across as caring. He has a good sense of humor but my ISFP friend doesn't like him a lot. He is fun and everything but his humor can be rough to her and he can be sarcastic and cynical. Simply sometimes jokes abotu things she doesn't like. Being Fe dom or charismatic ENFJ can't make someone expect from them to always say the right thing to everybody - that's impossible.
Me and my ISFP friend are both Fi dominants but she is more gentle and prudent with people then i am. I do it completely differently from her. I joke about more things and i don't thing it's ok to take offence because someone is joking on your account cuz for me it's easier to except so many things if you look it through a humor. She agreed with this once but she is very sensitive person of what other say, i am as well but in completely different aspects. For me thous are some personal traits. Just cuz someone is an ISFP or INFP doesn't mean it's a nicest person in the world. That for me goes in completely different box. Thous are very personal attitudes, where it comes from is what's important. At least that's my opinion.

 

[Kynx]

One of my Fi values is considering others feelings.

I value the importance of using good manners, but when I think about it, I only use the particular graces that I see a good reason for using, I question why they are necessary and if I can't find a valid reason or the reason is out dated, I won't use them or even think about them anymore.

For example, please and thank you show appreciation, respect and consideration. All of these things are in my Fi values.

Covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze etc. prevents spreading germs so that's quite logical (my Te).

Hands in pockets, elbows on the table, fork in the wrong hand etc I can't see why people would be offended or a logical reason, so I really don't care.

 

[mushr00m]

One of my Fi values is considering others feelings.

I value the importance of using good manners, but when I think about it, I only use the particular graces that I see a good reason for using, I question why they are necessary and if I can't find a valid reason or the reason is out dated, I won't use them or even think about them anymore.

For example, please and thank you show appreciation, respect and consideration. All of these things are in my Fi values.

Covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze etc. prevents spreading germs so that's quite logical (my Te).

Hands in pockets, elbows on the table, fork in the wrong hand etc I can't see why people would be offended or a logical reason, so I really don't care.

I agree and what others have said, if you have been brought up where etiquette is the norm, thats social conditionment, not necessarily a deep rooted personal belief. But when you take it one step further and welcome etiquette as part of your belief system, thats Fi.

 

[Kynx]

One of my Fi values is considering others feelings.

I can't see why people would be offended or a logical reason, so I really don't care.

Sorry, slightly off topic.

@eyenexepee
This is what I meant, Ne wrapping things up as I go along :wink:

 

[illicit iridescence]

Sorry, slightly off topic.

@eyenexepee
This is what I meant, Ne wrapping things up as I go along :wink:

Funny you should mention this! The way you wrote that particular post is like Ni to me - you stated your idea, then explained and expanded it, then used examples to support it. Perhaps the thoughts that you had in your head were Ne-like - I can't read minds, yay! But I can read posts and your post read like Ni: you didn't bring new objects to the table (you stayed with the being considerate theme), and what you did bring to the table was only to support your point of view on your idea, not to generate new ones.

Notice that I didn't say your post *is* Ni, it *reads* like Ni

So

Also, covering your mouth to prevent the spreading of germs isn't necessarily your 'Te', like @mushr00m said it may just be etiquette, or a sign of decency However, writing down that you "cover your mouth to prevent the spread", in order to organize/structure/order/explain the reasons etc behind the act, that I could label as Te, yeah And like she said, if that particular part of your etiquette is ingrained in your believe system, that may be Fi (or Fe, hahaha ).

So confusing

 

[Kynx]

Funny you should mention this! The way you wrote that particular post is like Ni to me - you stated your idea, then explained and expanded it, then used examples to support it. Perhaps the thoughts that you had in your head were Ne-like - I can't read minds, yay! But I can read posts and your post read like Ni: you didn't bring new objects to the table (you stayed with the being considerate theme), and what you did bring to the table was only to support your point of view on your idea, not to generate new ones.

Notice that I didn't say your post *is* Ni, it *reads* like Ni

Ne also makes connections, it's not all about new ideas.

I wanted to explain this more but realised my explanation sucked, so I'll leave it at that.

 

[illicit iridescence]

Ne also makes connections, it's not all about new ideas.

I wanted to explain this more but realised my explanation sucked, so I'll leave it at that.

No no, don't leave it at that! Also I didn't think your explanation sucked! I think at the core, Ne and Ni are related like they were twin brothers. But I do think Ne tends to perceive an object through relating it with different objects, which may or may not be new to the picture.

 

[Kynx]

No no, don't leave it at that! Also I didn't think your explanation sucked! I think at the core, Ne and Ni are related like they were twin brothers. But I do think Ne tends to perceive an object through relating it with different objects, which may or may not be new to the picture.

I meant the explanation I typed, then deleted because it wasn't clear enough :wink:

I wrote my first post and when I read it I started applying it to the other Fe/Fi debates and it all came together in my head from those two sentences I wrote. I thought to mention you because of what we discussed in PM's.

Mind reading would be so helpful

 

[Flora]

I think the difficulty in differentiating both functions comes from the fact that both tend to arrive to similar results but through different thought patterns. It's also been mentioned but the best way to mistype yourself is by applying generalisations such as: I'm tidy so I am a J. I'm very polite, so I use Fe.

In an example: you have three friends together. One makes a silly joke that actually comes across as really impolite or even offensive about another friend. The third friend witnessing this is a F user and reacts by telling off the friend that made joke for offending their mutual friend. In my opinion, both Fi and Fe could do this, but they would arrive there in different ways.

The Fi user is likely to automatically put themselves in the shoes of the offended friend, feel their perceived pain or embarrassment based on their own experiences or feelings (could even misjudge the situation because of this) and react like he would have wanted a friend to react if it were them, by defending them.

The Fe user is more likely to feel that the perceived lack of harmony affects their wellbeing and to be back in control of their emotions they need to take control of the situation, scold the transgressor and set out the limits of what is acceptable ways of behaving.


Fi users aren't always rude and badly mannered and Fe users don't always have exquisite manners either, a lot of that is going to be learnt behaviour, or depend on the social expectations you were brought up with. But I think for example that a Fe user will find it easier to be polite even if they didn't feel like it because this is what is nice and a Fi user might find it easier to argue that showing polite interest in something that you dont believe in for example is unneccesary.

 

[GraphicallyAlex]

If you have Fi, social graces will be or will have been difficult at some point, because they are not instinctual. Often times you may/ may have wondered, " was that ok/normal?" and then have to ask in order to know. Fi still wouldn't necessarily want to be rude, but it happens... Fairness and equality are Fi things IMHO. Fe treats different people differently, partly out of accommodation, ad partly out of valuing someone more or less...

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Tl;dr: Here is my question. If social graces are a value to a Fi user, will they cultivate Fe as a result? Or, were they using Fi all along? For those who read my above paragraph, is it possible I'm not using Fi at all, but Fe? All help is appreciated!

No, you are still using Fi while valuing such things. They are personal values. If it were Fe, you would expect others to share these values, and maybe you'd confront them about it when they don't

 

[neologismaker]

No, you are still using Fi while valuing such things. They are personal values. If it were Fe, you would expect others to share these values, and maybe you'd confront them about it when they don't

Interesting... so the difference between Fi and Fe is that Fi-users don't care if others believe the same things as they do?

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

that is one difference.
Fi types don't generally like to impose their values.
But Fe is about shared values, it will adopt values of the group and expect others to do the same.

 

[Cthulhu And Coffee]

A test on cognitive functions showed me I often use both Fi and Fe. And it's true - I've seen people with strong Fi and little Fe, and I am nothing like them. That's also the reason, however, why I can see how someone MIGHT not have both. But to me it only makes sense that someone who KNOWS they're sensitive could also understand how others would be, as well. =_= I often think they just struggle with feelings in general..they might not UNDERSTAND them and are trying to versus ignoring them almost altogether.

These are just assumptions. Maybe someone else can clear it up better than me.