structure

7465 Views 42 Replies 23 Participants Last post by Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar, Apr 21, 2015

dancininrain

Discussion Starter · Mar 29, 2012

ive realized structure is the mot important thing for a healthy infp. right now i dont have structure at all and im going crazy, im doing what i want, when i want and its rly not good. i need a schedule,( btw i happen to love making schedules..is that very un-infp-ish of me?) i need order. UGH!

Reactions: 5

1 - 20 of 43 Posts

Eldritch Blue Rose

· #2 · Mar 29, 2012

I definitely agree with you about needing structure. I often find that left to my own whims I dwell in my thoughts and get nothing done. Sometimes I can make good schedules but following them is difficult, because of various distractions.

Schedules are like cups. You fill a cup with a liquid so you may drink it. Once it is empty you can refill it or fill a new cup. However trying to drink from an empty cup is just ridiculous.

Reactions: 5

robespierre

· #3 · Mar 29, 2012

I don't necessarily like making schedules lol but I agree structure is a must. If I have a lot of free time, my mind starts to find anything to obsess over. I cant believe I'm sharing this, but one summer, I had nothing to do...no school, no work, just free time. I started to obsess over my weight...I exercised compulsively, started eating very little and after I lost my menstrual cycle for 10 months, my mother forced me to go to get treatment. This was 3 years ago, but I still struggle with eating properly when I'm stressed.
Another summer with no free time, I started obsessing over my skin and how I thought I saw this huge dark spot. I went into a depression (I didnt get of bed because I thought I shouldnt be seen by the world) about it and it was all I could think about -_- Once my soccer season started and my day was structured and planned, I forgot about the whole thing.
Looking back on it, I notice how ridiculous I was but I felt like it was the end of the world as I was going through it. So yea, I legit go crazy without something to distract my mind...from itself.

See less See more

Reactions: 3

snail

· #4 · Mar 29, 2012

Structure limits me and decreases my productivity. I dislike it passionately. The more I attempt to live in a structured manner, the less inspired I feel.

Reactions: 4

Vin The Dreamer

· #5 · Mar 29, 2012

The only reason I haven't achieved anything yet is because of my lack of structure. There's this site I joined that I believe would help, but I'm too lazy even to follow that. Maybe it'll help someone else, though:wink:

purplewool

· #6 · Mar 29, 2012

Totally agree with your INFP's. Without structure I become lazy and self-obsessed. I remember all the sad things that I ever experienced and I dwell on them. Took me like 20 years to understand the importance of GETTING THINGS DONE.

At this point I love making lists, I always have one on the go. When I have no outside obligation I make a point of doing the mainteance like tasks, such as house cleaning, self-grooming, and caring for my numerous pets.

Let's kill the stereotype! INFP's can get things done! It may be where our self-satisfaction truly resides.

Reactions: 1

lightened

· #7 · Mar 29, 2012

it's not 'un infp-ish' of you. it's just you. why are you trying to exclusively fit yourself under a generalized umbrella?

everyone benefits from structure.

ethylester

· #8 · Mar 29, 2012

Actually, @lightened, @snail just said specifically that she does not benefit from structure.

Reactions: 3

LittleHawk

· #9 · Mar 29, 2012

I need a nice balance of structure and then going off on whims. I'm lucky enough to have a job that allows me to work 2 days on, 2 days off etc. I find that really helps me keep in the swing of things. I also have to continuously make myself lists otherwise nothing gets done.

I try to take notice of what my body and mind need. If I've had an awful frustrating week at work then I'll let myself sit around doing nothing. Otherwise it's friends, projects and whatever else needs done.

Reactions: 1

lightened

· #10 · Mar 29, 2012

ethylester said:
Actually, @lightened, @snail just said specifically that she does not benefit from structure.

highly doubt that.
does this person belong or partipate in any form of an institution?
what about education? what about waking up, brushing teeth, eating meals throughout the day etc, doing what you need to do in that set of time.

you're engaging in structure. you benefit from it. or else you wouldn't be doing it.
people that don't engage or benefit from structure are socially inept pariahs, they engage in criminal activity and have little to no sense of direction. look at delinquents. look at extremely impulsive people, psychopaths. no structure.

we need structure generally. it is how society is able to function. for the greater cause of a community.

ethylester

· #11 · Mar 29, 2012

lightened said:
highly doubt that.
does this person belong or partipate in any form of an institution?
what about education? what about waking up, brushing teeth, eating meals throughout the day etc, doing what you need to do in that set of time.

you're engaging in structure. you benefit from it. or else you wouldn't be doing it.
people that don't engage or benefit from structure are socially inept pariahs, they engage in criminal activity and have little to no sense of direction. look at delinquents. look at extremely impulsive people, psychopaths. no structure.

we need structure generally. it is how society is able to function. for the greater cause of a community.

It's hard for you to see other people's perspectives, isn't it?

Reactions: 2

lightened

· #12 · Mar 29, 2012

ethylester said:
It's hard for you to see other people's perspectives, isn't it?

not when there are overt discrepancies. i attack the claim, statement, etc. not the person.

how does one engage in structure and they claim they are not benefiting from it?
that's a contradicting statement. your entire life is based on structure. minor or not.

explain to me how someone can say they do not benefit from structure? but engage in structured aspects in life?
are you in school? are you co-operating with deadlines, protocol?
do you engage in relationships, interpersonal relations? what about traditional customs?
structure is everywhere in our life. saying you don't benefit doesn't make sense unless you're ridiculously deviant borderline psychopathic.

these are all structures in society. if you did not benefit as you say, why are you engaging in them?

op should be clear. "some structures don't benefit me". not "structure doesn't benefit me."

See less See more

ethylester

· #13 · Mar 29, 2012

lightened said:
not when there are overt discrepancies. i attack the claim, statement, etc. not the person.

how does one engage in structure and they claim they are not benefiting from it?
that's a contradicting statement. your entire life is based on structure. minor or not.

explain to me how someone can say they do not benefit from structure? but engage in structured aspects in life?
are you in school? are you co-operating with deadlines, protocol?
do you engage in relationships, interpersonal relations? what about traditional customs?
structure is everywhere in our life. saying you don't benefit doesn't make sense unless you're ridiculously deviant borderline psychopathic.

these are all structures in society. if you did not benefit as you say, why are you engaging in them?

op should be clear. "some structures don't benefit me". not "structure doesn't benefit me."

Semantics.
I am guessing the OP didn't mean every form of structure in the world. You are being very literal and not seeing what the OP was actually talking about. And if you do understand what the OP was actually talking about, you are avoiding it in order to prove a redundant point. Of course people rely on forms of structure. Our body itself is a structure. But that isn't the point of this thread.

Reactions: 3

Bago

· #14 · Mar 29, 2012

@lightened. I think the idea is to SHARE opinions... not to go into a full blown debate. If you value others as basic humans, then just acknowledge their opinions based on whatever their lifestyle is, is indeed good enough ! Gosh... why then attack others etc ??

Anyway, diversion... I actually do not like that much structure. I think I am one of those also unhealthy INFP too, whereby I do not have enough time in the day to let my Fi flow... I feel like a zombie actually, just doing and doing things, and I actually feel "odd" in comparison to if I let my Fi flow in some creative way.

One thing I learnt is, maybe it is not structure that is necessarily for me to thrive, but it is discipline. Discipline in controlling the Fi. I remember feeling so sad and heartbroken when I was at uni, such that I kept on revisiting these sad songs, and it actually became the cause of the issue and not just as an echo of my emotions. When I realised this, then I stopped listening to those songs. I wish I knew to emotionally deal with the feelings, rationalise it, whatever... and not understand the story or lesson behind it.

These days, a lot of memories, and feelings come forward. I think I am meant to use them as a lesson or some kind of indicator or something. Cos they exist in my memory bank already. Also, I try and not absorb other people's drama or emotions any more. Need a way to dispel it and not let it affect myself too. Cos they do not belong to me.... that's where I think I went wrong.

See less See more

Reactions: 3

snail

· #15 · Mar 30, 2012

lightened said:
highly doubt that.
does this person belong or partipate in any form of an institution?
what about education? what about waking up, brushing teeth, eating meals throughout the day etc, doing what you need to do in that set of time.

you're engaging in structure. you benefit from it. or else you wouldn't be doing it.
people that don't engage or benefit from structure are socially inept pariahs, they engage in criminal activity and have little to no sense of direction. look at delinquents. look at extremely impulsive people, psychopaths. no structure.

we need structure generally. it is how society is able to function. for the greater cause of a community.

No. I don't belong to any institutions. I hated the educational system, which was highly destructive to me, partly because of the excessive structure, and partly because of the bullying.

I wake up when I stop sleeping. I brush my teeth whenever I remember, and I shower whenever I start to feel stinky or greasy, which just happens to be about every other day, but not always. I eat meals when I feel hungry. I sleep when I feel sleepy. It would kill my spirit to have a specific time for such things, and to have to go against what is natural for my body. I can't understand the kinds of people who are okay with always having dinner at the same time, or who always go to bed at the same time. It seems like it would become very tedious and difficult to maintain. That kind of existence is alien to me, and when I am forced into it, it makes me uncomfortable and less capable of functioning well.

I don't benefit from structure, and I am not a criminal or a delinquent. I am not a psychopath. I am an artist. I am well-liked by most of the people who know me in real life. I have plenty of friends, and a strong sense of purpose which comes from an internal drive to help others. I illustrate books about important subjects, and I do it without any deadlines. I volunteer in art classes for the developmentally disabled, which are unstructured and focus on individual freedom. I don't always show up at the same time. I don't always do the same things when I get home. I follow what feels right. Being spontaneous is a vital part of who I am, and every time anyone has tried to change that, the result has been a disaster that decreased my happiness and theirs. Learning what I needed in order to thrive was an important step in enhancing my sense of well-being. Most of my unhappiness has come from being expected to be someone else, or to live in ways that seem completely wrong for me. When I stopped trying to live up to unnecessary expectations, I became more authentic, and I became more useful to the world.

See less See more

Reactions: 5

lightened

· #16 · Mar 30, 2012

@Bago
i attacked the statement, not the person. huge difference. not my problem if you can't see the difference between the two.
in order to come to an ultimate understanding you've gotta sift through nonsense.

if you think i am attacking you which clearly wasn't the picture here i can't do much for ya.

lightened

· #17 · Mar 30, 2012

ethylester said:
Actually, @lightened, @snail just said specifically that she does not benefit from structure.

and who is snail? this person isn't even who i was speaking to. is snail dancininrain?

illicit iridescence

· #18 · Mar 30, 2012

dancininrain said:
ive realized structure is the mot important thing for a healthy infp. right now i dont have structure at all and im going crazy, im doing what i want, when i want and its rly not good. i need a schedule,( btw i happen to love making schedules..is that very un-infp-ish of me?) i need order. UGH!

@Luke likes to strategize how to study, I remember him saying that. INFP's have a little bit of Te (as our inferior function), so it's not "unlike INFP's" to like having structure.

But I think INFP's secretly also mean *discipline* when talking about structure, or even confuzzle the two words, which of course can easily end up in a sort of debate, when an INTJ decides to join the thread.

Out of curiosity: @snail, are 'discipline' and 'structure' two different but related things to you? How do you feel/think about discipline?

Reactions: 3

snail

· #19 · Mar 30, 2012

eyenexepee said:
@Luke likes to strategize how to study, I remember him saying that. INFP's have a little bit of Te (as our inferior function), so it's not "unlike INFP's" to like having structure.

But I think INFP's secretly also mean *discipline* when talking about structure, or even confuzzle the two words, which of course can easily end up in a sort of debate, when an INTJ decides to join the thread.

Out of curiosity: @snail, are 'discipline' and 'structure' two different but related things to you? How do you feel/think about discipline?

Discipline means acting according to one's values and priorities even when one would otherwise feel inclined to act in non-beneficial ways. This can occur with or without structure. Discipline is often associated with structure because it is popular to value structure for its own sake, and to act as though it were a high priority, even in cases when it is against an individual's natural inclinations. One must be disciplined in order to be structured, but one need not be structured in order to be disciplined.

Structure means imposing a routine on one's approach, where one applies a specific plan, usually requiring repetition and regularity, rather than acting according to a comfortable flow.

Discipline is important even for unstructured people. Structure is merely a matter of personal preference.

Reactions: 2

ethylester

· #20 · Mar 30, 2012

lightened said:
and who is snail? this person isn't even who i was speaking to. is snail dancininrain?

@snail was the person right before your original post where you said, "everyone benefits from structure." It struck me because she had just said she did not like structure in her life and finds it uninspiring and then you went and said everyone benefits from it. It was a direct contradiction and I just wanted to point that out. But it looks like Snail already explained her case, so I can bow out now. She explained it much better anyway.

And yes, I wonder if instead of using the world "structure" perhaps we could have said "schedule" or something like that. So as not to confuse the INTJ.

Reactions: 2

1 - 20 of 43 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.