Personality Cafe banner

1 - 1 of 1 Posts

12 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello everybody!

I've had some social issues lately, which I'm trying very, very, very hard to overcome. (Social anxiety blahblahblah, the age of technology). Anyway the gist of it is that...

1. Commented upon by others is that in group situations I'm always zoning out. I'm very obviously unable to bother even trying to know when to join in. Whenever I open my mouth I'm out of sinc with everybody. (Which makes me feel like crap, everybody wants to feel they can fit into their communities nicely you know?)

2. The thing that I'm actually more worried about... Is that my spirit seems to float off while I'm in one on one situations with people who I can see a really good potential friendship forming with. Obviously I still respond to these people, but my voice is weak, in particular I'm uncertain and I don't think straight. I make silly decisions. I become hyper-aware of what I DON'T have in common with others. I start feeling like a "try hard" while trying to regain control of my identity- because I'm literally trying to force myself to SHOW who I really am to them. Then my personality comes out all ugly and awkward. It's like my conscious is blinded by the headlights of, "AH THIS INTERACTION IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME, I LOVE THIS PERSON, I WANT THEM TO LOVE ME PLEASE LOVE ME". And I just want this whole dilemma to just, you know, stop!!!

As a child I had quite good social skills, only being faulted for being terrified of like... Older kids. But I always had best friends and was on good terms with those in my classes etc etc. But as so many people struggle with, the older I get, the more my insecurities grow and get in the way of my making friends. I'm desperately wanting to improve- I want all of the advice I can get on this! I want to be able to feel truly present. I want to regain the skill of really being comfortable in my skin around people. I want to be able to make people feel comfortable in my own presence again. My biggest insecurity is that I feel insecure while socializing and that means I feel really suffocated. Right now I have no truly close friends- but I have met two people who I'm starting to bond with and now's the time for me to start working on these faults so that communication and all goes well with them and I start regaining control over my social life.

Thanks for reading, and thank you for any advice that can be shared with me and others with similar problems. :)

Adding in in case it helps with any advice: I'm enneagram type 4w3 so, sx. Ta!
1 - 1 of 1 Posts