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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I have been hit hard with existential depression recently.

In the past, my coping strategy has been withdrawal (eg 'living in the moment'). In the past, this kind of worked, but now when I do that, I feel disconnected from the world. Whenever I reconnect, I get knocked for six.

I do not feel (lots of emotions) right living in this society. Our societal systems are deeply unjust, our built environments are ugly, our civilisation is causing permanent damage to the environment (deforestation, species extinction rates, climate change, pollution). In addition, I do not have much of an identity and I do not relate to the lifestyles and gender roles that others live by. I do not understand why people are so content with holding opinions based on ignorance. I do not understand how others cannot be moved emotionally by all that is going on around them. I do not understand why people are so willing to objectify others (either personally, or as a statistic), as to deny their feelings and humanity. I do not understand why humans are so violent (and then deny that they are violent).

On top of this I have an moderate to severe incurable chronic illness that makes me feel powerless to actually go out and challenge the aforementioned.

I have NFI what to do. I don't respond well to antidepressants either.
 

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Well stop having an existential crisis, and just be awesome instead!

It's always worked for me. :tongue:
 

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@Snowy Leopard

Actually no, fuck that. I know what you can do.

I'm assuming you're awake right now since you replied. This is what I want you to do: I don't care what time it is or if you're in your pajamas or naked.

Close your computer, don't take anything with you, and just walk out your front door. Just keep walking for about an hour or two, and just go to where ever your body takes you. I'm confident that this will work!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Close your computer, don't take anything with you, and just walk out your front door. Just keep walking for about an hour or two, and just go to where ever your body takes you.
I don't have the physical ability to do that. I'd end up stuck somewhere after my body inevitably fails me, calling someone to pick me up (late at night). Being stuck somewhere without the ability to walk in the middle of the night isn't my idea of fun.
 

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I have been hit hard with existential depression recently.

In the past, my coping strategy has been withdrawal (eg 'living in the moment'). In the past, this kind of worked, but now when I do that, I feel disconnected from the world. Whenever I reconnect, I get knocked for six.

I do not feel (lots of emotions) right living in this society. Our societal systems are deeply unjust, our built environments are ugly, our civilisation is causing permanent damage to the environment (deforestation, species extinction rates, climate change, pollution). In addition, I do not have much of an identity and I do not relate to the lifestyles and gender roles that others live by. I do not understand why people are so content with holding opinions based on ignorance. I do not understand how others cannot be moved emotionally by all that is going on around them. I do not understand why people are so willing to objective others (either personally, or as a statistic), as to deny their feelings and humanity. I do not understand why humans are so violent (and then deny that they are violent).

On top of this I have an moderate to severe incurable chronic illness that makes me feel powerless to actually go out and challenge the aforementioned.

I have NFI what to do. I don't respond well to antidepressants either.
I don't suffer from depression but I think about these things as well. I often tell my mom I think the world is completely fucked. I tell her I just wanna live in a tent in the woods, in simplicity, be one with nature. I think I would have been truly happen if I were born in the time of the indians. They sat around a fire, danced, told stories of tradition and ancient spirits and slept under the stars. There were still so many secrets und undiscovered places in the world. I'm sure my sensitive nature would have been accepted and appreciated in that culture. My mom gets worried when I start talking like that, but I reassure her that I just need to vent a bit now and then and that I'll be alright :happy:

Natural catastrophes, pollution, terrorism, poverty etc. Indeed it seems as if (many, not all) people are becoming indifferent to this kind of news, because it's EVERYWHERE. Many people shut it out because it's too much. You're not alone. And maybe that's not the worst thing you can do, to shut it out.

If you absorb and worry about every bad thing happening in this world, you will indeed feel mentally and emotionally ill. You should know what's going on in the real world and you should watch the news regularly. But now and then, you should just close your laptop, turn off the tv and radio, put on your shoes and just take a long walk or bycicle ride, all by yourself. Don't invite anyone. Go to a forrest, park, lake. Try to connect with nature. I see you've done that in the past, "living in the moment". Try again, and again.

Get in touch with your senses. Look at the form of the trees, smell the leaves, feel the wind in your face, listen to the birds. It's the same principle as Mindfulness, I can really recommend this type of meditation. If you don't know it, look it up. It's not complicated, on the contrary, but it takes persistence and you need to be patient. I don't practice it as much as I should, but it has certainly helped me in the past. It will help you take your mind off of your worries, doubts, darker thoughts. A counselor can certainly help you as well, absolutely no shame in that.

But just the fact that you think about these things makes you awesome and interesting. Some people only think about their car or the raise they're getting at work. You think about things that matter. Just don't think about it too much.

You're an INFJ, perhaps? :happy:

Good luck and I'm sure you'll find a solution!
 

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I don't have the physical ability to do that.
The fuck, what are you a land whale?

I'd end up stuck somewhere after my body inevitably fails me, calling someone to pick me up (late at night).
But, that's how the adventure begins. Trust me, this is the 100% guaranteed success TopCat exercise. I once did this while I was depressed and walked several miles to a nearby park. I ended up falling asleep there for an entire day, until the gardeners had to come wake me up in the morning because I was in their way. lol

Nothing cures existentialism like adventure! :kitteh:
 

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The fuck, what are you a land whale?
Think you missed this.
On top of this I have an moderate to severe incurable chronic illness that makes me feel powerless to actually go out and challenge the aforementioned.
Since it's an existential issue, sounds like you need help exploring whats of value in life.
I think it resonates the sort of hopelessness that can come from observing a lack of action but at the same time I think one should be careful to what degree one is taking on some form of confirmation bias.
How hard are you looking for those that are doing something, I tend to think people ark up most when things are right in there face and though I think many people aren't privy to thinking about inequalities and societal problems, I imagine many are pressed by such issues.
Especially on account of inequality, any person who has to worry about paying bills whether they consciously think or not has certainly got to feel somethings wrong when they see the disparity between themselves and those calling the shots ;)

For myself when I get all negative nancy on myself, I make a conscious effort to think about the examples that are in opposition of my outlook.
Though I imagine one might circumvent this by going to conclusions of whether it's actually amounting to significant change and then conclude that the change that needs to happen isn't happening. Though I think there are many people who do contribute in their own way on improving things, how effective they are ebbs and flows.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
The fuck, what are you a land whale?
Yes, I'm a 6' 76kg land whale with a severe chronic illness and I don't appreciate your ableist jokes.

But just the fact that you think about these things makes you awesome and interesting. Some people only think about their car or the raise they're getting at work. You think about things that matter. Just don't think about it too much.
It is like a switch that I've forgotten how to turn off.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll find a solution!
Thanks.
 

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Yes, I'm a 6' 76kg land whale with a severe chronic illness and I don't appreciate your ableist jokes.
Oh-shit, well... this is awkward.

Whatever, I still stand firm behind my advice.

Good Luck! :proud:

p.s. I don't understand kilograms...
 

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I'll be watching your thread because I've been in a really bad spot with it for about 13yrs now. It's not like I haven't tried to see the world differently, shut out the bad news sources and focused on me. Did just about everything I could to restart my life including moving locality about 5 times it that period of time, embarked on an exciting new career most people dream about doing etc. But this stuff just can't be shaken for me. The world is still greyscale and it seems like nothing will ever bring back the colour.

I take it one day at a time. It's all I can do and occassionally people cross my path who are interesting and I take joy in that, however fleeting. I have no idea how to get back to living I just hope one day I will. Because this feels like the zombie apocalypse and I'm the walking dead.
 

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I have been hit hard with existential depression recently.

In the past, my coping strategy has been withdrawal (eg 'living in the moment'). In the past, this kind of worked, but now when I do that, I feel disconnected from the world. Whenever I reconnect, I get knocked for six.

I do not feel (lots of emotions) right living in this society. Our societal systems are deeply unjust, our built environments are ugly, our civilisation is causing permanent damage to the environment (deforestation, species extinction rates, climate change, pollution). In addition, I do not have much of an identity and I do not relate to the lifestyles and gender roles that others live by. I do not understand why people are so content with holding opinions based on ignorance. I do not understand how others cannot be moved emotionally by all that is going on around them. I do not understand why people are so willing to objectify others (either personally, or as a statistic), as to deny their feelings and humanity. I do not understand why humans are so violent (and then deny that they are violent).

On top of this I have an moderate to severe incurable chronic illness that makes me feel powerless to actually go out and challenge the aforementioned.

I have NFI what to do. I don't respond well to antidepressants either.
I wish there was a hug button, some of the stuff you said really made me sad and I could identify with, having experience some of these issues at one time or other in my life.
 

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Get away from news media (because negativity = clicks). Unless you have local news, and want to just watch the fluff pieces.

Is there a place you could safely volunteer without exerting yourself/testing the limits of your chronic illness?
 

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I can relate, a little. For me it's more that... the world is so sad. There's so much sadness. So much cruelty. So much ignorance, which I'm okay with, but the ignorance of people brings them to hurt others, and it's... it's just terrible. It's a cycle. It's an awful cycle and if maims people. Humanity is in pain, but there are so many people saying humanity deserves the pain, and they keep heaping it on. Obviously it's beyond my powers of comprehension :/

I'm giving this example because... This is what makes me depressed. This is what makes me sad. Big problems like you, the world is just so clouded with badness that it's hard sometimes. It's really hard.

Now, for me, I stay out of existential depression by doing my best to help the world. I hate hatred. I hate it with every fiber of my being. So I try to fight it. I try to use kindness wherever I can. I am seeking a career where I can help others, where I can truly do my best to make the world a better place. In doing these things, I know I'll never win. One can never eradicate hatred. I don't think anyone can eradicate hatred, really. No matter how hard we may try, the world is going to be hurting. But we can try to fight it, foster love where we can. That's my goal. Of course I have other things that keep me going too, but deep inside me it's more this idea that I can make it, I can fight the cruelty, I can stop some pain and work to stop a lot of pain.

Obviously, that's not going to help everyone. Helping people is my calling. Loving people and living in love is my passion. I cannot tell you what your passion is. It seems you are upset by social injustice and global warming (from your OP). I'm sure there's other things that you would like to work against as well. I suggest that you find a way to work towards it, towards making the world the type of place you would want it to be. Of course, as with my passion, you're never going to entirely get there. Pollution will still happen. Injustice will still happen. It is sad, but no one person can control the world and the person who thinks he can control the world will be a tyrant. What you can do though is do your part to change the world as you would like to. This will give you purpose. You must allow yourself to realize that while you are one person, and you cannot do everything, you are still a person who is an active participant in this world and one who can do something.

I understand this may not be easy, especially given that you mention a chronic illness. This will make it harder. (I can relate slightly, because I an immobile person who requires a wheelchair.) But please do not let this discourage you. You can still make a difference. It will be harder, yes, this is true, but by no means is it anywhere near impossible.

I think this lesson could help you. Realizing - no matter what it takes - that while the universe is big and you are in many ways an ant, you are an ant who can do something. In fact you are not an ant. In this world, you are a member of the dominant species. You have a voice. You have life. You have personhood. You can do something, and that something matters and can make a difference in this world.

Perhaps this is not the solution for you, but I hope it at least helps you on your way to overcoming this depression. Whatever your way is to get out of this sadness, I hope it finds you soon. Please take care.
 
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I have one question and one suggestion.

The suggestion is helping people is my self chosen purpose, perhaps it could be yours.

The question is what sort of chronic illness do you have?
 

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