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If you're a shy INFP, do people start perceiving you as stuck up? At my school i'm starting to think that people are seeing me that way because i don't really talk to alot of persons and i always have this "look" on my face as if i'm looking down on others..Thats soo not true! I'm probably one of the friendliest guys ever and it hurts me to think that people think so
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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Yes, I was perceived by others as stuck up when I was a teen, and occasionally as an adult. I try and make more effort now to be aware of my facial expression & body language, & be less lost in a daze, so that I come off friendlier. It's really hard when I am just not in the mood though; it takes energy for me to be that intune with what is going on around me.
 

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MOTM Dec 2012
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you can't please everyone. i am not an emotional robot who will smile at your command. i cannot "be there" to make facial expressions every time i see your face, sorry that's just not me. i mentioned in another thread somewhere that i'm very suspicious of people who smile all the time. if people can't bother to see past my face, then i can't bother with you.
 

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Yeah, I got that all the time growing up. "I'm not stuck up, I'm just tired of trying to interact with people who will inevitably write me off as 'weird.'" :crazy:
 

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I get self-confident and intimidating. At least, that's what my best friend told me she thought of me for that first year when we were getting to know each other.

I was shocked. Nothing could be further from the truth. I think I'm always wringing my hands in a cold sweat, worried I'll be called out for being a fraud, and so easily scarable and not scary.
 

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I actually had to correct a paper in my writing class a few days ago talking about shy being disliked in work, school, like in general. Basically saying that they are elitist and think they are better blah blah blah. Long story short it really pissed me off. I can understand how being shy may come off that way but for a teacher to write such bs without actually doing anytype of research on shy people burned my biscuit. I am shy but I know for a fact that I am not better than anyone, and I don't think most shy people feel that hey are either.
 

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INFJ 9w1
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do people start perceiving you as stuck up?
Yeah, this has happened to me for years. People equate not talking to other people (mainly them) and staring off into space as snobbishness. To them, I guess it looks like such people think they are too good to talk to them or make eye contact.

I had a bad experience with a misunderstanding, when I was in high school. There was a group of bubbly, popular girls who mentioned how surprised they were when they saw me at a vulnerable moment and was crying. They said that they had thought I was too stuck up to want to talk to them, when really, I just didn't know what to talk to them about. It hurt that they would think that about me.

I guess it just goes to show that we shouldn't judge people based on the way that they appear to us. We are not always 100% correct in our judgments and we never know their whole story.
 

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I actually had to correct a paper in my writing class a few days ago talking about shy being disliked in work, school, like in general. Basically saying that they are elitist and think they are better blah blah blah. Long story short it really pissed me off. I can understand how being shy may come off that way but for a teacher to write such bs without actually doing anytype of research on shy people burned my biscuit. I am shy but I know for a fact that I am not better than anyone, and I don't think most shy people feel that hey are either.
It really surprises me that an intelligent person would write something like that, especially in an academic context. It seems like something you might vent about in your diary or journal, not something you would present as a serious intellectual opinion. I think being shy, by definition, is quite the opposite to an elitist, it is someone who is intimidated or overwhelmed by others, which is quite different to someone who thinks they are better than others.
 

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I suppose I can come across as such, but only toward those who do not know me well.

I have learned to get used to it. I most certainly am not going to smile on command to make people feel at ease. Days are tiring enough trying to both socialise and keeping my act together as it is.
 
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