I agree with this, too. Also, learning as much about myself as possible and being comfortable in my own skin has helped me objectively distinguish what criticisms I should listen to and which I should disregard.Seek out criticism (and learn from it)
This is not exclusive to INFPs.
nice suggestions:happy:Here's what I've learned recently:
-Don't try to change your intrinsic personality. Accept your own unique strengths and weaknesses. Use your strengths and work to shore up your weaknesses. Try to branch out and get to know various types of people. (Those ENFJs can teach us a lot in that department!) I've learned a lot about dealing with and appreciating others, and I still have a lot more to learn!
-Let others accommodate your personality quirks. I find myself being very much a chameleon and adapting to someone else's personality I think before they even know what mine is! Showing who I really am is scary because I often feel that other people won't appreciate me for who I am. I'm learning that opening up and showing off your personality is often a risk worth taking. It's very freeing; I don't have to hide anymore. And if they don't like me, then so be it. It's usually nothing to take personally.
-Work on scoping out others. When you think you've found someone you can trust, trust them! It can feel like a total jump, but if you can tell that someone trusts you, it only makes sense to trust them back! Actually, if you don't, it can degrade a friendship. For instance, I have a couple friend I care a lot about, and I trust them a lot, but they either don't or quit doing the same. It kills me every time I talk to them to know that my trust isn't reciprocated. And I think my frustration comes out in other forms, thereby preventing them from trusting me. It's a vicious circle.
-Work on expressing your feelings toward someone. Many times I'll feel a deep connection with people, but I'm still too guarded, uncomfortable, and unsure about how to express it. Basically, I'm trying to harmonize my feelings with their expression.
sometimes i get confused about defining myself, maybe that's what you said as social chameleon and yes it's annoying because it tends to blend with your real personality creating a new you, that's what i feel..
and unluckily, i'm surrounded by ESFJs, INFJs, ISTJs, and INTJs, i haven't found any ENFJ in my life :frustrating:
errmm, sorry, but what do you exactly mean by this? my English is not very good :sad:An ExFJ female might come across to others as overpowering you.
I'm sorry. That must be hard.i just broke up with an INFJ few months ago, it was a long distance relationship for 4 years and unfortunately all INFJ I've found so far seems to be way too complex to understand and sometimes are way too judgmental towards me, so i'd rather stay away from them for the time being..:frustrating:
Well, I tend to think that ENFJs have stronger personalities than INFPs. Generally speaking, I've found them to be more outgoing, socially credible, and assertive than us INFPs. It also seems that they initiate more than us laid-back INFPs. For you, as a male INFP, I just don't see it being ideal. However, if you're talking about friendship, then, yes, go for it I suppose. But if you want a significant other, then an ENFJ female might not be the best for you. I could see her personality overpowering yours. But, like I said, all people of the same personality type are not necessarily the same, so it could still work! Just something to keep in mind. I'm sure other people have thoughts on this as well.errmm, sorry, but what do you exactly mean by this? my English is not very good :sad:
indeed, moreover that just recently she finally dating the guy which was one of the many reasons i broke up with her.., just knew it yesterday and it kills me, as if God came down to me and slam His gigantic sledgehammer right onto my chest..:frustrating:I'm sorry. That must be hard.
I think that's a good start. And, yes, life will get better! However, since you were with her for four years, it will probably take a lot of time to get over her and grieve fully. When my first boyfriend and I broke up I remember that it helped me if I allowed myself to be completely miserable for a little while. I didn't try to fight or suppress the pain. I allowed myself to express it and be a little "selfish" for a while...but not to the point that I kept reopening the wound; that wouldn't be beneficial. I relied a lot on my friends and family for support. I also thought about what I needed and how I could get it. For instance, if I needed to be distracted, I started up a conversation with a friend or family member and talked about anything but my breakup: about them, about their day, about life, homework, whatever. Or maybe read a book or got online and read interesting articles. Or if I wanted to deal with it, I searched Google for articles on grieving and getting over breakups or called friends or family for help. Aaanndd, if you need some place to talk, I'm sure if you posted a thread about it, we INFPs would be quite happy to help out.indeed, moreover that just recently she finally dating the guy which was one of the many reasons i broke up with her.., just knew it yesterday and it kills me, as if God came down to me and slam His gigantic sledgehammer right onto my chest..:frustrating:
for past few days before, I thought I've gotten over her, but sadly.. i haven't:sad:
So today, i cleaned up all things that will remind me of her, throw them away, and get my ass back to work, hoping for better tomorrow..:dry: