[WildBlue]

Hi all-
I'm a 6, and whenever I read our basic desire, to have support/guidance from others, it doesn't resonate that much with me. All of the rest of the 6 resonates, but I don't feel a constant need for support, I feel it rather as a constant need for a meaningful relationship. I always want to be close with others, to have meaningful relationships (with friends, family, romantic partners, etc.).

Anyone else feel that way? How do you experience the basic desire of the 6?

 

[Donovan]

i see the basic desire as "to know beyond a shadow of a doubt" (this can extend to many things and mean many things; for me it's 'purpose', or 'direction in life').

if i do rely on people, it's more for emotional resilience than for guidance. even when i go into my "endless questioning" phase, i don't really take what anyone says as something that i should listen to. what they say is used as more of a sounding board to contrast what's already in my head in order to gain a different perspective, or to rule certain things out. it's almost like their thoughts create new thoughts in my own head, and that's really the only reason that i do go about questioning things with others (that, and to have them--hopefully--confirm what i'm already thinking... so, an erasing of doubt can be added in there--but still, if i don't agree then i don't agree, and rarely will i have my mind changed because of the person's position relative to my own, or because of the relationship we share).

i've never really vibed with the "seeking a mentor" theme. it's really more about "truth", or "the path", if that makes a lick of sense.

edit: i should probably add that if i could find someone like that, then maybe i would fall into the cliche of 6's, but i don't really see others in that fashion and i don't believe there are people that can so readily give you the answers, because that "answer" is unique to the person asking.

 

[WildBlue]

Thanks, that helps. I forgot about the whole "needing to know the one right answer" thing. I think I don't have that concern as much because I have very strong mental structures for decision making, so that I never feel like I have to rely on myself to make a decision (I just ask my inner board of advisees, and they always have good answers).

I think whatever you are missing in life is most top of mind to you, and I have always been missing meaningful relationships, so it's always on my mind. Maybe not really a 6 thing, maybe just a me thing.

 

[Donovan]

Thanks, that helps. I forgot about the whole "needing to know the one right answer" thing. I think I don't have that concern as much because I have very strong mental structures for decision making, so that I never feel like I have to rely on myself to make a decision (I just ask my inner board of advisees, and they always have good answers).

I think whatever you are missing in life is most top of mind to you, and I have always been missing meaningful relationships, so it's always on my mind. Maybe not really a 6 thing, maybe just a me thing.

i don't know if that's a "6 thing" or not. i do notice though, that when i allow myself to take a breather and realize that what i've been trying to do--establishing material security--is really just some circular, rhythmic facade at life, that i haven't actually been living at all (at least, not in allowing myself to enjoy the experience; and if you're not going to do that, what's the point? [typing advice for myself, lol]).


but when that thought does surface, i do realize that what i've been running from is what would actually make me much happier. living in the moment, being my natural self, and developing close bonds with the people that i vibe with. i also find that it's really in allowing myself to develop these bonds that brings me to a state of calmness, or "rightness".


for myself, i wouldn't say that "what i'm missing is at the top of my mind", because what i'm missing is usually being hidden from me by my mind. looking for, and being with finding intimacy is something that i would like to work on as it's the thing that i somehow unconsciously convince myself that i don't want/need (when, simultaneously, i know that's not true).