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Is it possible that I could be a suppressed ENFJ? When I was young, I was very outgoing and social and extroverted, until I was about 10 years old? Even now, in interpersonal relationships, I tend to be very ENFJish. I was at a party for work last night that I was absolutely dreading. I thought I would end up sitting in a corner or being a wallflower, standing awkwardly. But I fared well. I mean, I was definitely quite and more of a listener, but I definitely was more of a butterfly.

I went around to different groups of people, and it felt completely natural for me to introduce myself to a group of strangers, or even join a group where I just met someone. I am not much of a talker, but it felt strangely natural for me to be with a crowd of people I barely knew, and it felt very natural to be in a group of people, conversing and making small talk, just enjoying the atmosphere, and soaking up the good energy. Because I am quiet, I sensed some introverts "target"ing me lol. They would try to get into a really deep conversation, just the two of us, away from the crowd, and strangely I was turned off by this. Before going to the party, I thought I would end up finding a like-minded introvert and just stand in the sidelines, having a deep conversation with someone. But once I got there, I felt really comfortable and preferred the small talk with groups of new people, learning about different/new things about people, rather than being trapped in one conversation for more than ten minutes. I was still polite and related to the people that "targeted" me, so I would hold the conversation with them in an engaging way, and people would usually end up joining me, and the circle would get bigger, and then around that time, I'd excuse myself to get some more appetizers and join a new group on the way to the appetizers. It was really WEIRD how this came naturally for me, without me having to even think about it. Usually, with social things, I have to think and plan my actions, but with this crowd of people, everything came so naturally. Occasionally, I saw a person or two standing awkwardly on their own. I felt bad for them, so I would try to casually make my way to them to get them included in a group but if they found a group before I got to them, I felt a sense of relief for them.

So this is what made me think... I might be a suppressed ENFJ, due to some things that happened when I was younger. By the way, I didn't even have any alcohol to drink! They actually had a variety of fruit juices and cider... lol... so I just had those non-alcoholic beverages and snacks. There was also no music and craziness like a "college" party. It was for work, so it was mainly older students like myself, people from work, and guests. Before going, I told myself I was going to only stay for an hour as my back-up plan, but I ended up staying for almost the whole thing and I really didn't want to come home. It was weird. So could it be that I'm a suppressed ENFJ? What do you guys think?
 

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another thing. I thought i would come back exhausted and drained and ready to crawl back into a hole for the next few days, but i felt extremely energized as if I drew a lot of energy from hanging out with people. I'm still feeling energized! and I'm looking forward to the next one!
 

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Is it possible that I could be a suppressed ENFJ? When I was young, I was very outgoing and social and extroverted, until I was about 10 years old? Even now, in interpersonal relationships, I tend to be very ENFJish. I was at a party for work last night that I was absolutely dreading. I thought I would end up sitting in a corner or being a wallflower, standing awkwardly. But I fared well. I mean, I was definitely quite and more of a listener, but I definitely was more of a butterfly.

I went around to different groups of people, and it felt completely natural for me to introduce myself to a group of strangers, or even join a group where I just met someone. I am not much of a talker, but it felt strangely natural for me to be with a crowd of people I barely knew, and it felt very natural to be in a group of people, conversing and making small talk, just enjoying the atmosphere, and soaking up the good energy. Because I am quiet, I sensed some introverts "target"ing me lol. They would try to get into a really deep conversation, just the two of us, away from the crowd, and strangely I was turned off by this. Before going to the party, I thought I would end up finding a like-minded introvert and just stand in the sidelines, having a deep conversation with someone. But once I got there, I felt really comfortable and preferred the small talk with groups of new people, learning about different/new things about people, rather than being trapped in one conversation for more than ten minutes. I was still polite and related to the people that "targeted" me, so I would hold the conversation with them in an engaging way, and people would usually end up joining me, and the circle would get bigger, and then around that time, I'd excuse myself to get some more appetizers and join a new group on the way to the appetizers. It was really WEIRD how this came naturally for me, without me having to even think about it. Usually, with social things, I have to think and plan my actions, but with this crowd of people, everything came so naturally. Occasionally, I saw a person or two standing awkwardly on their own. I felt bad for them, so I would try to casually make my way to them to get them included in a group but if they found a group before I got to them, I felt a sense of relief for them.

So this is what made me think... I might be a suppressed ENFJ, due to some things that happened when I was younger. By the way, I didn't even have any alcohol to drink! They actually had a variety of fruit juices and cider... lol... so I just had those non-alcoholic beverages and snacks. There was also no music and craziness like a "college" party. It was for work, so it was mainly older students like myself, people from work, and guests. Before going, I told myself I was going to only stay for an hour as my back-up plan, but I ended up staying for almost the whole thing and I really didn't want to come home. It was weird. So could it be that I'm a suppressed ENFJ? What do you guys think?
In terms of development, whatever type you are the primary cognitive function will be prevalent probably by 10 years old or so. I think I read that you start to develop more of your secondary function around like mid-adolescents to early 20s. Then the rest become more developed with more age.

I was wondering this today when I was with a group of high schoolers... I could tell just by observing them (especially the sophomores) that it was very easy for me to pick out their primary functions, but there secondary functions were not quite as obvious than someone who is of a college student age... though I can kind of see where they are heading via my Ni.
The one girl I could obviously pinpoint she is an ESFJ in the process of developing more Si. The two others I'm debating on yet so I'm still observing.


So... to answer your question, you could be an ENFJ -- but yet you could also be an INFJ. Remember there are many INFJs that have a well-developed Fe to make them appear to be introverts. I guess the best way to figure out is to ask yourself were you more imaginative and in your own world when younger or did you have many friends??
I know I myself never had many friends at a young age.... it seemed that I always kept my focus on about one or two at a time and with age by meeting more kids in classes that circle would grow. I can rarely think of very many times where I would consider myself a "social butterfly" though.... I had moments where all of those friends I had accumulated through the years all then would become friends with one another and I would kind of be the "words of wisdom" and perhaps "mother" to them to some extent... but that's about it.

Every ENFJ I know finds it boring to do daily things by themselves. While I would get annoyed by having someone with me while doing stuff like.... grocery shop or workout.
 

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The more introverted ENFJs sometimes contemplate if they might be INFJs. I would say that there is not clear divide - some people might be right somewhere long the border of two personalities. Suppressed ENFJ sense I suppose comes from Ni introverted function fighting with Fe extraverted function.

Personally I think I have too developed Ti and rather underdeveloped Fe to be an ENFJ - but I think other INFJs fall more on their Fe than Ti thus may associate more with ENFJs more in this sense. Following from this, I wouldn't treat the MBTI labels too rigidly as ultimately they do not mean too much - you are ultimately you own unique person, unlike anybody else.
 

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personality consists of 2 factors (I cant remember their names now :crazy:) one of them is biological, therefore its also genetical and the other one is one that is "introduced" into your person by either the media or the society...the biological features rarely change during all your lifetime...probably 2 or 3 times as much...but the second one will change a lot...if you were very outgoing because the society tried to get into your head the idea of "being introvert and ambisocial is bad" then its understandable that you already changed
 

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Just like me too, I was Extroverted before 10 or may i thought i was,
but i certainly wasn't the type that was 'alone' in class.
I was always at the top of class and i had a gang of friends.

But just like the party thing you described.
I was at one yesterday where i absolutely knew no one
but the friend who took me along.
I sat alone most of the time with my BB until someone came along
and then i talked.

I have never typed or tested anything as perfect as my E/I (I'm always I)
Irealize that as a child while i may have been more Extroverted,
I still needed the recharge when alone and now i know my party limit! 2hrs max!
 

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Did you have a Fe overdrive? When Fe gets pushed and it seems like you feel like a Extrovert due to Fe being feed, sometimes can get confused for getting energy from people like an Extrovert rather than our normal inward energy source. I know when I go all Extrovert like most Extrovert's go damn and try to catch up. When an INFJ appears extroverted usually there Fe is extracted in a way that makes us the most outgoing Introverts.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Well, i'm still a little bit confused by the MBTI talk on Fe and stuff like that, but to answer some questions: growing up, I had BOTH a lot of friends, but also a huge creative imagination. During the day = play with friends. During the night = daydream about another world and paint. Overall, I was more of a social butterfly than having one small group of friends.

In terms of doing chores/tasks... w hen it comes to working out/doing groceries/shopping, I prefer to do them alone, because it's more efficient and I like to go without fussing about what i'm wearing/being well-groomed/neat while I am with someone. But when it comes to other mental tasks, i prefer to be around people when I do it? but when i'm working on major projects/essays, i like to be alone.

What is an Fe overdrive btw?
 

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.. I was actually thinking you seem a bit different^^ that based on your posts you seem to use Fe dominantly. I'm just noticing that in many of your threads you write questions that make it look like you are asking for advice, but I often find the answers themselves to the problems already existing in your opening post.. that instead of finding a solution, you are rather just looking for others who relate to what you're going through (and I feel you are also aware of this) --you are..extroverting your feeling; and I notice this with esfj (Fe-dom) also. I'm only writing this as it strikes me in what you've been writing, I'm not just going by a few posts. But yea I wouldn't really get a big picture, these are just ideas..
 

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ENFJ and INFJ share the same functions, just the order of prevalence is altered. Ni Fe Ti Se vs Fe Ni Se Ti (INFJ vs ENFJ). So it makes sense that there is some overlap. I was very outgoing as a child and as a result of being picked on (understatement) all my childhood I may have become Introverted. Or I may have been a very outgoing INFJ. I can't say. However, I will say that I love people, or at least analyzing them. I love figuring out why people do what they do and why they think they can get away with their selfishness. I often feel like a birdwatcher of people. But how balanced you are is probably the biggest factor on your present personality. If you aren't balanced good luck on making sense of this world...
 

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I was a lot more extraverted until around 10 years of age. interesting.
 

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.. I was actually thinking you seem a bit different^^ that based on your posts you seem to use Fe dominantly. I'm just noticing that in many of your threads you write questions that make it look like you are asking for advice, but I often find the answers themselves to the problems already existing in your opening post.. that instead of finding a solution, you are rather just looking for others who relate to what you're going through (and I feel you are also aware of this) --you are..extroverting your feeling; and I notice this with esfj (Fe-dom) also. I'm only writing this as it strikes me in what you've been writing, I'm not just going by a few posts. But yea I wouldn't really get a big picture, these are just ideas..
oh whoa.... I have been realizing this, too. I am usually looking for others who relate to something, especially other INFJs and how others have also felt about it.... the best posts for me are ones where I'm nodding my head, rather than the ones that have some kind of emotional or logical advice/solutions. I often post in the ISTJ forum, and I think i'm looking for a similar validation... it's weird. on the INFJ forum... i think I'm mainly looking for others to relate to what I'm going through, so I have some kind of emotional validation of "it's perfectly ok for you to feel that way. I've also been through this....___" whereas on the ISTJ forum, I mainly look for logical validation along the lines of "Based on your circumstances, you did the best you could..."

I usually test out as in the 80s for "I" on the MBTI tests, but those questions are geared towards american standards of extrovertedness i guess. it's hard to explain. i know I am quiet and reserved and my family has to pry information out of me, but i don't think this can mean extroverted right? An ENTP i knew at work was SUPER quiet and hated small talk. We all thought he was introverted, but he said "No. just because i don't talk a lot, doesn't mean i'm extroverted." I feel like the reason I am more "I" is because I was very hurt by people I confided in, and I just turned inward at one point. I have two types of dreams/fantasies: one in which I am rescuing/helping/protecting someone vulnerable and one in which I am the social butterfly I used to be when I was younger, and various situations around the two, more of the latter lately.

One of the major reasons I can't decide on this is that when I go on the ENFJ forum, no offense, seem kind of shallow...? I feel like the threads never go "deep" enough or they're very surface-level. O_O and most of the times, i can't relate at all to them, because their decisions/judgments seem kind of irrational or not well reflected on. I feel like I am waiting for the conversation to begin in the ENFJ forum ever since i have come on PerC lol. I feel like I could list an equal amount of reasons why I can be I or E... im wondering about functions... how the explanations would work. Could it be that i am just developing my inferior functions lately? that i haven't seen since i was youngeR?
 

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Discussion Starter #15
im back to my infj self today guys. i think the party on friday brought out the chameleon in me. the circumstances called for a more social me, so i guess maybe that's what brought out the E in me/
 

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Sounds very familiar to me in some cases, until around 11 years old i didn't really have a care in the world and a lot of people liked me "i was the very kind quiet, but still sociable one", afterwards when i kind of discovered the "potential evil" in certain people that part of me started to recede very quickly perhaps as a prominent defense mechanism.

Perhaps what is interesting is often i would not cinsder myself all that quiet yet almost constantly a teacher or tutor would claim that i was "Very Quiet and reserved" and all i am left with is a big case of scratching my head for what is occuring, i will admit i often take the opportunity to sit alone for an hour or so during college, perhaps it is fair to assume i may be an Occasionally-Strong Expressed INFJ, despite most tests showing a case of 50/50 on the I/E scale, just offering my insights on the subject on what sounds familiar.
 

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yes, curious.. maybe you are just developing. i guess i'd agree too that i was more like an E when i was younger. the description here fits me then, but i know i was never one.. there is evidence in home videos of me XD always playing by myself, and throughout my childhood i'd always target one-on-one relationships but would be very open to groups and also floating about like a butterfly. i do remember feeling lost when i was in one, i had a hard time focusing on so many people. and i was also not expressive enough to get everyone's attention and it was just difficult in general. i also used to annoy my mother whenever we were out, i'd always when do we go home
just a funny thing i remember.. i used to 'ignore' (this is not the best word) people who were quiet-ish, thinking-ish... (<_< and these might have passed as infj or something... they were all guys that i can remember. maybe if it was a girl i would have talked to them, since i always tend to pick girls over guys for friends.

Extraversion (E)
I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.

The following statements generally apply to me:

* I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”
* I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.
* I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.
* I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.
* Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

Introversion (I)
I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I’ll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.

The following statements generally apply to me:

* I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”
* I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.
* I prefer to know just a few people well.
* I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.
* I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience.

link
i wouldn't say that i was changing due to bad experiences...
i think i was just growing up in general...
i'm still the same, just more grounded
 
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