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Discussion Starter #1
I once read that INTJs dont like surprises - they prefer to know exactly what the plan is, what to expect, what to look forward to. But thinking about it now, I think INFJs are like this too. So what do you guys think? SURPRISES -love em or hate em?
 

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ill get the ball rolling. I dont like surprises because it throws me off and i dont have any advance knowing or just knowing what to expect, etc.... then i get even more critical of how i acted in that situation since i didnt have any time beforehand to even THINK about the possible ways the situation would happen.
 

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hate em.

i think i hate the element of surprise itself, as well as the attention forced on me during a surprise (like suprise parties, surprise gifts, etc.) ... i could easily do without both.
 

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I do not care much for surprises.
 

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i like to know what will happen..when its unplanned, i lose track of what i want to do.
 

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I don't mind them. If it's thoughtful then I love it ;)
but if it's something bland, then I probably don't care that much and it doesn't really change anything.
 

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I don't like them either, and here's why: Ni dominance in INxJs creates a tendency for us to take note of the underlying pattern we recognize and project it into the future, projection which ultimately goes to waste when the element of surprise is thrown into the mix. Humans don't have the mental ability to see into the future without receiving hints from our environment (sadly). A surprise birthday party's main objective is to completely destroy these hints, allowing the shock to smack us in the face once we get shouted at when we enter the living room door where everyone is lurking... Introverted intuition does NOT like this.

Quite honestly, the whole jumping out and congratulating me on my birthday really isn't that big of a deal; just give me time to prepare for it! :dry:
 

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i hate big surprise parties or anything like that in which i'm expected to do or act some way, but i love finding notes and getting randomly picked up by friends for a fun evening.

and what about the surprise of getting lots of random kindness from someone, or finding money in a forgotten jacket, or getting a random call from a forgotten friend, or randomly hearing your favorite song somewhere? i love all of those at least.
 

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I like surprises, but usually only after a few weeks have gone by and I can look back at it and "understand" what was taken out of someone's day to do something special for me if that's what the surprise is for. On the other hand I love surprising people, like a companion, I love those a lot because it comes from heart and in an brief instant it's usually recognized (and that's all that counts).
 

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I do and I don't.
If the surprise is executed so perfectly that I can't figure it out or try to micromanage it, then I absolutely love surprises.
But to make a surprise that I won't see coming a mile away and try to perfect is pretty difficult. So I usually hate most attempts at surprises.
I love surprising others and get upset when people spoil and ruin my plan.
 

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I like surprises.

It's nice to be thrown off balance once in a while, to remind you how exhilarating it feels.
 

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I hate surprises. I'm the sort of person who will flip to the end of the book or read a synopsis of a movie before I watch it.

I prefer to know what will happen, why it will happen, how it will happen, when it will happen and the best possible way to deal with a given situation.

Thankfully with divination, I am rarely surprised.
 
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i hate big surprise parties or anything like that in which i'm expected to do or act some way, but i love finding notes and getting randomly picked up by friends for a fun evening.

and what about the surprise of getting lots of random kindness from someone, or finding money in a forgotten jacket, or getting a random call from a forgotten friend, or randomly hearing your favorite song somewhere? i love all of those at least.
I hadn't thought of it like this......i do like these surprises muchly! :laughing:

but

not expected unexpected surprises.......the type where you know that something should happen, but you have no control over how or what will happen (birthdays, presents etc) :tongue:
 

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I love surprises... As long as they are within the preplanned acceptable time allotted for them - when I want one to happen or when I am bored. I work into my life times where I specifically do not plan anything so it can be time for other people and the universe to bring in new stuff because I know it is going to happen anyway. If it would only give me new things in the time allotted I would be happy. If it conflicts at all with something else, I hate it and have to readjust my thoughts, emotions and plans to accommodate this new thing.

The tiny pleasant surprises are wonderful though. I kinda wish I got more of those. I think I get plenty from the universe but I do not get many from other people. The ones from other people are more special to me than the ones from the universe. They can't in anyway make me feel exposed or have to think on the fly of a way to reorganize what I had already planned though.
 

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I. Hate. Surprises.

As many of you have said, I need to process what is going to happen, unpredictability just throws me off. Cute little surprises, like friends bringing me brownies (the best kind of surprise) etc are fine. Nothing more.
 

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Hate. Unless it's something nice or thoughtful.
Ex. Last year my husband gave me an Ipod for my birthday. I was not expecting it, and it was a nice surprise. Now, had he thrown me a surprise party, I might just have beaten him senseless.:tongue: j/k
 

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Discussion Starter #19
i totally agree with everyone here so far. i like the small, pleasant, thoughtful surprises- something small, like brownies or an email from someone i wasn't expecting. things like that. but with bigger things, i feel really thrown off because i don't have time to PROCESS the information or my thoughts beforehand.

some people also mentioned birthday parties, but i was thinking about things like a surprise get-away... or going to go have coffee with someone, but realizing that other people were comng along too.. or going to work planning on doing X, but instead told that we're actually going to a meeting, ethings like that.
 

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I don't like them either, and here's why: Ni dominance in INxJs creates a tendency for us to take note of the underlying pattern we recognize and project it into the future, projection which ultimately goes to waste when the element of surprise is thrown into the mix. Humans don't have the mental ability to see into the future without receiving hints from our environment (sadly). A surprise birthday party's main objective is to completely destroy these hints, allowing the shock to smack us in the face once we get shouted at when we enter the living room door where everyone is lurking... Introverted intuition does NOT like this.

Quite honestly, the whole jumping out and congratulating me on my birthday really isn't that big of a deal; just give me time to prepare for it! :dry:
I think it has to do with inferior Se. I've been noticing lately that people don't like having their inferior function "startled." This is why INJs usually don't like to dive in, and prefer to generally know what's going to happen before hand.
 
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