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Discussion Starter #1
Lately I've been realizing that a big part of the problems in my life come by growing up with a person affected by Bipolar Illness. This person alternates moments of highly intelligent conversation, to verbal abuse justified by trivial reasons.

This person's always had a facade of 'sweet victim' to my other relatives, I tried to complain when I was a child and was attacked and put to shame, so I learned it was better to shut up.

An example : ten minutes ago she kindly ask me to feed the dogs, and I said 'of course'.
After that, I decided that it was too hot in the house, and made a TERRIBLE MISTAKE : I opened a window.

She started yelling and screaming , and I responded firmly : "Lower the volume of your voice. You do not talk to me that way . "

This has been going on forever, and only lately I've learned to respond in an assertive way ( I used to scream back ).

Share your 'mental illness' stories if you want, and how you cope / not cope with that.

Cheers.
 

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I tried going away..

My mother got some mental illness.. I cannot wait being independent.

Then i had encountered mentally ill coworkers whom i supposed to live with. It's hell.
So solution: get out.

Get out, cut your connections.

Don't try to fix them. It's impossible.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Oh you're right, it's not possible to fix them. I have to say that if they get the right medications, they can become more stable.

In the past I actually made what you described : I moved abroad, find a new job, got a new life. It worked, but i was living with a roommate that had a strong NPD and made my life IMPOSSIBLE (he woke me up in the middle of the night 'cause he NEEDED to talk...things like that) . I couldn't move to a new place because of lack of money, so I had to go back home.
 

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My step father and half sister (his daughter, same mom as me) are both bipolar. I see 4 options:

Be co-dependent
Be disconnected, minimize interaction/contact, like a room mate that doesn't care.
Get them medicated properly and be on a roller coaster because they are never truly stable.
get out and understand it's not your battle to fight, it's theirs.


Sometimes it helps to switch between these options for self-care.
 

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The only people I think I know of who were severely bipolar I notice all had severe addiction issues. So not sure if the substance abuse helps create and enable the bipolar behavior or if the bipolar behavior helps create and enable the substance abuse.

By far though the person who sticks out the most is my older sis
And my ex temporary freeloader 'roommate' (not relative just the most extreme case of this behavior I have seen)

What they had in common:
-Addiction
-Lack of Appropriateness
let me just say in order for me to say this they must be absurd because I am very low give a fucks in the appropriations scale. But they were bizarre for 'adults' I.e. Sit on the hood of any car in front of you, spit off into someone's yard, LOUD outside standard loud but closer to disturbing the peace
-Mania (Sad to suddenly wanting to act like Peter Pan in a matter of a few minutes)
-Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of impulsive choices and then crying about consequences. Crying crying crying and more fucken crying. Did I mention the crying. They cry so much you stop noticing it as anything other than normal.
-Manipulative (but usually stupid about it as they reveal their behavior to you in how they treat others almost trying to brag about their charm but all they do is show their ability to have no shame)
-My eldest sis is a kleptomaniac
-Selfish usually manic depressive people who cry non stop because of their own misery from consequences to their actions or feeling shitty for being so shameful and having nothing to take pride in anyways usually these people are so focused on their misery, they in no way can truly be considerate of others around them. They are usually too involved in serving their impulse or desire or crying for themselves
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
The only people I think I know of who were severely bipolar I notice all had severe addiction issues. So not sure if the substance abuse helps create and enable the bipolar behavior or if the bipolar behavior helps create and enable the substance abuse.

By far though the person who sticks out the most is my older sis
And my ex temporary freeloader 'roommate' (not relative just the most extreme case of this behavior I have seen)
That was a lot of bizarre people :) I had a freeloader room-mate years ago and he drove me crazy ( he used to find it funny when I got mad at him, until I made him cry by telling him 'You're just a 15 y/o stuck in the body of a 25 y/o" ) . He used to make a mess in the house, NEVER cleaned anything in months, NEVER bought anything to eat / drink except for himself. I eventually moved out and got my sanity back !
 

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My biological mother has bipolar disorder which wasn't well managed while I was growing up. It was a very dysfunctional household. As a result of her dysfunction, I was actually removed from her care and put into custody with my dad.

My sister also has bipolar disorder and she's great. She takes her medication and is extremely functional.

So, it can go either way. I also have had friends throughout the years that have had it. Most of the people I know who have it are great, though their quality of life suffers (as it can with any chronic illness).
 
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Lately I've been realizing that a big part of the problems in my life come by growing up with a person affected by Bipolar Illness. This person alternates moments of highly intelligent conversation, to verbal abuse justified by trivial reasons.

This person's always had a facade of 'sweet victim' to my other relatives, I tried to complain when I was a child and was attacked and put to shame, so I learned it was better to shut up.

An example : ten minutes ago she kindly ask me to feed the dogs, and I said 'of course'.
After that, I decided that it was too hot in the house, and made a TERRIBLE MISTAKE : I opened a window.

She started yelling and screaming , and I responded firmly : "Lower the volume of your voice. You do not talk to me that way . "

This has been going on forever, and only lately I've learned to respond in an assertive way ( I used to scream back ).

Share your 'mental illness' stories if you want, and how you cope / not cope with that.

Cheers.
i think the best way to cope would probably be to try and ignore their bad behavior as much as you can and call them out on it when in confrontation with them. my dad had a rough patch after he had a stroke where he would get raging mad over the slightest thing and throw tantrums like a toddler. the way i dealt with it was to just understand it was his illness talking and gently tell him he wasn't acting right. this seemed to help. hopefully it will help for you too. and as someone who is personally bipolar/schizophrenic, i can say that i have blurted out many a hurtful thing that i never in my right mind would have dreamed of saying. please don't take anything said to heart and try to be understanding of the afflicted. proper meds are working in my case, (though i know of others where nothing has worked) so encouraging her to get professional psychiatric help may help. it took me several years to find/agree to a medicine so it may take a lot of trial and error on her part. like it sounds like you are leveling with her on a sane level with the window, where she is obviously not sane if she is screaming about something as simple as an open window. try to understand basically she is crazy and ought to be treated as such. there is no harm in telling her so if she is truly acting that way anyway (unless she reacts violently which could be a possibility so tread carefully if you do this) and maybe somehow it will help her to see the truth. in any case, good luck and hope things get better and that you aren't scarred for life..
 

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I think that if you want to stay in that situation you will need to go to counseling together. In the volatile situation the bipolar person will have so much adrenaline running they physically won't be able to process what you are saying. You need to be able to discuss this with a third party so they won't be able to be so defensive, and come up with physical mechanisms (breathing, time out, etc.) to control these outbursts and manage them when they happen.

Personally, I think self-preservation is important. You don't necessarily have to completely disconnect (however, if you stay in such a situation for too long, it may come to that, which is why I recommend getting out before that happens). I would try and move and have contact as you are able, but be able to cut it off if abuse happens - for example is someone is shouting over the phone just say "When you yell at me and use abusive language, it upsets me, so I am going to hang up. I hope we can talk again when we are both calm," then hang up.

Remember, you usually can find some way to get away. Even during the great depression people moved entire families in a tent basically to other states to find a minimum wage or less job, even if they didn't know anyone. So in this day and age, you can get out if you need to.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I think that if you want to stay in that situation you will need to go to counseling together. In the volatile situation the bipolar person will have so much adrenaline running they physically won't be able to process what you are saying. You need to be able to discuss this with a third party so they won't be able to be so defensive, and come up with physical mechanisms (breathing, time out, etc.) to control these outbursts and manage them when they happen.

Personally, I think self-preservation is important. You don't necessarily have to completely disconnect (however, if you stay in such a situation for too long, it may come to that, which is why I recommend getting out before that happens). I would try and move and have contact as you are able, but be able to cut it off if abuse happens - for example is someone is shouting over the phone just say "When you yell at me and use abusive language, it upsets me, so I am going to hang up. I hope we can talk again when we are both calm," then hang up.

Remember, you usually can find some way to get away. Even during the great depression people moved entire families in a tent basically to other states to find a minimum wage or less job, even if they didn't know anyone. So in this day and age, you can get out if you need to.
Cool reply, I liked that :)
 
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