Thank you. Yes I have doubts.The biggest difference is that 6s are afraid to stay without the support of others. The support and guidance of others gives them a sense of security.
I think misidentifying yourself as a type 8 may be because you are a counter-phobic 6 (if you're really a 6 not a 8). However, if this is the case, then the traits that may remind you of being an 8 will come from the fact that you confronting your fears. You want to overcome your own fears and limitations. Plus, if you're sx - I think there's more chance of you being counterphobic.
8s don't seem to allow themselves to feel fear. 8s may be more inclined to say that they have never really felt fear.
However, an 8's deep biggest fear is the fear of being controlled and hurt. 8s react to being controlled. Besides, the order of action of 8s is: first action, then intellect and in the endt emotion. In the case of 6s: first is intellect, then action and emotion at the same time.
Has this in any way brightened your mind?
Edit: I found a description about 6 in the sx subtype here.
and also these three links
[Enneagram Type 6] - Instinctual SubtypesHow the different instinctual variants manifest in each type. Taken from Enneagram Worldwide. SP = Self-Preservation SO = Social SX = Sexual (SP) Type 6: Warmth/affection As a self-preservation subtype, you disarm others with your warmth and affection. By acting kindly with thoughtfulness and...www.personalitycafe.com
[Enneagram Type 6] - Differences between counterphobic 6...I think this two types might look so similar that I wouldn't be surprised if many people have mistyped for one or other. What do you think/feel are the key differences?www.personalitycafe.com
Not Sure If You Are An Enneagram Type 6 or Type 8? Ask Yourself These 4 Questions.If you study the Enneagram, you know how complex the system is. Beyond the nine primary habits of attention, there are wings, subtypes, countertypes, arrows, levels of integration, and more. To find your type, you need to consider many factors, and one personality that is noted for its...www.truity.com
If you still have doubts, please write here. Maybe I can suggest something else and learn something new from it.
You mentioned your childhood and this is a good clue, because our childhood impact on our Enneagram type. For example, our type is influenced by childhood deficits, our parents (or caregivers), some life circumstances.Thank you. Yes I have doubts.
I'm leaning more towards 6. But 8 resonates me too. Maybe tritype (648?). This reactive feature really prevents me from living sometimes, but I can't just flare up for example on my family, although it's difficult to offend me. It gets in the way because I don't think I'm talking when I'm angry. Is this about 6?
Just another doubt, I was quite a quiet and obedient child, that is, it awoke in me over time with some circumstances. And I really think that the best defense is an attack, even in advance. Also these types I think aggressive by their nature.
That's an interesting order of operations. Lizard becomes smart, then feels. I won't disagree.Besides, the order of action of 8s is: first action, then intellect and in the endt emotion
I don't know why😂You mentioned your childhood and this is a good clue, because our childhood impact on our Enneagram type. For example, our type is influenced by childhood deficits, our parents (or caregivers), some life circumstances.
I will quote here an excerpt from Psychologie Junkie on the childhood of these two types.
Enneagram Type 6:
"In childhood, Sixes felt connected to the protective figure in their home. However, this connection wasn’t always positive. They internalized their relationship with this figure and learned to depend on them for a sense of security or guidance rather than trusting their own inner voice. If the authority figure was unjust or malevolent in some way, then the Six would internalize their anger and direct it at themselves, becoming self-destructive. If the protective figure violated their trust, they would become distrustful and rebellious of all authorities. If the protective figure failed in any way, the Six child would internalize this failure and respond In kind. Usually, this results in the Six feeling ambivalent towards authority.
Sixes crave the security of authority and the assurance of a support network, but they also distrust and doubt authorities and others (including themselves).
The Six abandons their own inner voice in an attempt to gain support from protective figures. They hope that with enough support they can finally feel secure and become independent. They feel separated from their own internal guidance, and can either become agreeable or aggressive in an effort to find their “people.” They feel plagued by a need to find the “right” course of action. But they don’t trust themselves – they usually have an “inner committee” of imagined authority figures, friends, and various mentors that they have to please before they move forward. They have imaginary dialogues with this inner committee trying to figure out how these other people would feel about it before they make a decision. Their doubt, anxiety, and tendency towards overthinking becomes a burden that they can only get rid of through growth and maturity."
Enneagram Type 8:
"In childhood, Eights felt ambivalent towards the nurturing figure in their home (often the mother, but not always). They learned that they could find their place in the family system by taking on the complementary role to the nurturing role – often a patriarchal, “strong” role. They decide to grow up quickly because they felt that by showing vulnerability or “softness” they would be hurt, rejected, or betrayed. They became little protectors and showed an exterior of toughness and invulnerability. They became the one that others turned to for strength and guidance. They felt that if they lost this role in the family that they might be rejected.
Eights deal with issues of survival and strength. They believe that they must be strong, decisive individuals who can handle anything without flinching. They become tough and aggressive and often hide their hurts, vulnerabilities, and feelings because that would be “weak.” They are often assertive and adventurous children, which results in them getting punished frequently. In order to defend their psyche from these frequent punishments, they decide to take on a “to hell with them” mindset, and an attitude of indifference and steely resolve. If they had an abusive childhood in some way, they will live in constant anticipation of rejection and betrayal. If they had a relatively nurturing childhood, they will probably take on a strong protective role. The more they felt rejected, the more they will harden their hearts and become aggressive in response."
Which of these themes was dominant in your childhood? Or - which do you feel was dominant, if the situation was combined in some way.
I'm not surprised that you're having a problem in distinguishing the two types from each other. Especially since they are probably both in your Tritype anyway, as you wrote yourself. The 8 and the counterphobic 6 are very similar.
In fact, I haven't asked you the most important question. Why does anyone think you are (or could be) a type 6 instead of a type 8? Has this person justified it in any way?
Your friend looks like me😂 Outwardly, I may be calm, but it's easy to get me out of myself, then I don't understand what I'm saying at all.@alcobow (yes, I accidentally quoted the wrong message before)
What you write sounds like you are a 6. Anxiety that doesn't leave you.
Of course, these childhood patterns don't have to be as dramatic as in this description, it's just a tendency. E.g. in my case what influenced me to be a 3 in my Tritype - One of my caregivers demanded a lot from me. There were always too little good grades, too little hard work on my part to praise me, but I always waited for praise. There is also a 5 and an 8 in me, so I had a "Screw you!" attitude. However, inside of me there is still that critic who keeps telling me that I'm not trying hard enough. That close relative of mine never even yelled at me, but it left a mark on me. He didn't mean to do me any harm, he really meant well and wanted me to be hardworking (just like him) and wanted to prepare me for adult life, to succeed in the future (and become someone special). It's possible that he thought that by overly praising me, I would try less or maybe to him my talents and my strengths was obvious.
As for what my gut feeling is. It seems to me that you are indeed a 6 core type, but still with an 8 in Tritype (8 in Tritype very often makes 6 counterphobic). You needed time to stand up for yourself. Actually, you want to come to everything by yourself and that may be the influence of the 8, but I feel that from what you tell - you don't have the natural "omni-confidence" (or something like that) in you that 8s have. Also, you don't form strong opinions/point of view in this thread and 8 s tend to do that. They tend to be very sure of what they are saying. You give me the impression of a calm person (with calming vibe), directed to your inner self above all, but paying attention to people (6). Your way of reasoning indicates to me that you are primarily guided by reason when taking a position (and gathering information to form an opinion), not by instinct or emotion.(6s also may appear a bit shy/cautios/reserved, but not in way like "My opinion doesn't count" but "Let's try to work together. Let's come to some conclusion together")
Of course, forgive me for being so direct. I do so, because what I just wrote is not my diagnosis of your type. I think it might be useful if you think about whether people you know also sometimes say things like that about you (it's just the internet. my "opinion" is a hunch, a guessing game. their "opinions" are more relevant) - If yes, then there's a chance I'm right, if you additionally agree with those people's position.
Edit. Yes, well I came back here to delete my example that I described because I'm not sure how to express things well.
My ex-friend is an 8w9 sx/so or so/sx Tritype 85x. Yes, he really does tend to have outbursts of anger. Not towards me, but towards others. He's like a stone or a mountain, whatever. He is on the one hand very calm and reserved. On the other hand, he is always full of energy, aggression and seeks out conflicts himself. I do not know how to put this mixture well. He likes to provoke people for fun, to tease them. He doesn't do it because he has some personal grudge against them. Conflicts simply energise him.
He is also incredibly protective, I don't know how he does it. I have never felt so safe with anyone else. He lives a very intense life. Everything is intense: ambition, breakdowns, interests, parties, decisions, the same when he's angry with himself or when he blames himself for something. When he parties, he doesn't think about his safety. His image is probably not intentional. He intimidates a people, but this is not due to any lack self-confidence. He knows his boundaries in relationships very well. If he needs you to talk to him or support him - he is direct. He is very attentive to his surroundings - I am too, but he is better than me. His presence is very noticeable. But of course this is an example of a particular person who is an 8 - an individual. He is an extremely strong 8. In addition, he actually had to take care of himself when he was a child.
I purposely gave the example of my friend to see if he would seem familiar to you.Your friend looks like me😂 Outwardly, I may be calm, but it's easy to get me out of myself, then I don't understand what I'm saying at all.
In most cases, you are right, but I have learned to defend my opinion over time and now I don't give a fuck who will say what in response. I will fight to the end🙃
Well, by the way, maybe you won't say that, but you're right about logic, I always follow it (try) and say "Let's come to a common", although most often this common is equal to my opinion😂
UPD. About anxiety, it's such a little paranoia that someone will definitely do something bad to me, that something terrible is about to happen. That's why I stay closer to people on the street, closer to friends, because no one will do anything bad to me there, all bad feelings go away and people think that I'm just a calm and cheerful person. I think it's not dramatic, just a fact)
Oh, no, for a while I thought that I had a 7 in tritype, but you've helped me made sure in a 6. I will think 6w7 or 8wX (w9 most likely) my dominant enneagram. Thank you so much🖤I purposely gave the example of my friend to see if he would seem familiar to you.
In that case, at this stage I wouldn't reject any of these types as a potential core type if I were you.
Lots of people will tell you online that they feel what type you are (which is equivalent to "You're type x") or that it's not so complicated.
Well, for me it's indeed, complicated. At the very beginning, when I discovered the Enneagram, I thought I am 8w7 (and actually from the triad gut I am that type). Later, as I got more familiar with the types, by reading, I saw myself in some of them (the perfectionism and dogmatism of 1, for example). The truth is, it's very hard to delve into yourself in such a way as to discover those deepest fears and desires of yours. Some people see it in themselves right away (I don't know how they do it), but sometimes it's more complicated not because there's something wrong with you or me or something. It is also possible that your first choice as a type 8 was the best and truthful.
I, for example, still don't know if I'm a 3 in the core or a 5. 3s tend to "get into the role" they play and I'm aware of that. Additionally, ESTJs often do not know who they really are because they have inferior Fi. They also don't know what they really like (i mean enjoy). And I am an ESTJ.
Perhaps the person who pointed out that you are a 6 instead of an 8 meant that 6s often misidentify themselves as another type (not just counterphobic 6s). Generally 6s and 9s actually have the greatest doubts about their type. But, on the other hand, 8s can take on many traits from 5s, because in this star of the Enneagram they are paired with a 5 in stress (and with a 2 in relaxation). In addition, some people believe that we can take over both, good and bad traits from each of the types we are paired with on this star.
Of course, if you still want to know more here or clear up any doubts, I'm happy to discuss. It's a shame that instead of dispelling them, I think I may have heightened them even further
I think the most important thing is to give yourself time to get used to the knowledge and to observe yourself. I also find it helpful to analyse my past, not only my childhood. The Enneagram helped me a lot to understand my past, even if I see the influence of all Tritype types (mostly 3 and 5), not only the potential core type.
I am glad I could help you: ) 🖤Oh, no, for a while I thought that I had a 7 in tritype, but you've helped me made sure in a 6. I will think 6w7 or 8wX (w9 most likely) my dominant enneagram. Thank you so much🖤