[Jest_Please]

I'm 95% certain that I'm an sx/so, and have always related to it no matter from what perspective it's described. And even though I don't quite relate to sx/sp (specifically the so-blind part), I'm definitely considering it now. Part of it is because I have a heart 3-fix and apparently that in addition to so-blindness sucks. So, I've been wondering mostly how sx/sp + 3 heart-fix would be like. Because tbh I can see myself being that kind of fcked up.

Also, I'm only considering sx/sp now, when I'm really stressed. I seem more like an sx/so when I'm at ease. But in certain instances I feel like I get stressed because of a feeling of so-blind vs 3-fix value struggle. I like to be really good at what I do and appear to be so, but I really dislike when people talk about it to me. I like it when people like what I do and admire me for it, but not when people start talking about ME to ME. I care about what they think about what I do, but I usually don't give a crap when they're talking about it as if it affects them in some way. Like "your so good at drawing I can't even draw a stick figure". It's like 1) thanks but... good for you? 2) anyone can fucking draw a stick figure, get out of my face, and 3) don't use me as an excuse to bash yourself, I really don't give a flying fudge nugget about you and your petty problems and insecurities. It's like this with literally anything and everything I'm good at. It's annoying me to the point where it's like do I really need to try anymore? I like the results of what I do to be admired, but I don't like to be complimented (unless it's something I didn't do, like my haircut or outfit or something).

 

[Dare]

... a heart 3-fix ...in addition to so-blindness sucks. So, I've been wondering mostly how sx/sp + 3 heart-fix would be like. Because tbh I can see myself being that kind of fcked up.

The way it works in 3-fix sx/sp me is that I relate far more to the 3 SX descritions than the 3 SO (the latter being what people usually think of when they think about a 3).

http://personalitycafe.com/type-3-f...exual-threes-according-beatrice-chestnut.html

That idea of pleasing in a traditionally feminine way is very true for me. I'm pretty obsessed with being a 'good woman' and, for better or worse, see a big part of success relationally (a highly successful relationship is especially important and so is supporting my significant other in his success).

Sure I care about competency generally and have things I wish to achieve, but I don't have those hang-ups around prestige, recognition and competition that are normally associated with the general 3. I'm far more interested in actually being good at what I do than I am in appearing good (my smaller 3 SP influence coming into play although I value competency and authenticity greatly generally).

The three different instincts show up very differently in 3s, as noted here (based off Naranjo), Enneagram Theory: The Cutting Edge of Our Subtype Knowledge According to Claudio Naranjo - The Enneagram in Business

I imagine a 3-fix would be a bigger struggle for a sx/so than a sx/sp bc that difficult 3 SO factor is more in play.

Some of the things you described (being used as a vehicle for people to talk about themselves) is just plain annoying for anyone. As far as this sx/sp 3-fix goes, I only enjoy being complimented on things that I value and even then it's my significant other's opinion that is the one that really feels particularly good/bad (but I don't hate being faux complimented, it's a zero for me -- as far as 'people talking' problems go, that one isn't bad).

That all said, it's going to be difficult to point to exact causes when you get down to the level of the second instinct's affect on a fix since the further down you go, the more all your different personality influences have blended together. It's hard to imagine a "triple assertive" tritype, meta-thinking ENTP saying 'oh shucks' and blushing over a compliment in the first place, 3 fix or not (one of my closest friends is one and he reads motivations effortlessly).