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Tackling Uncomfortable Situations

In flashing red lights all that is on my mind is being placed in an "Uncomfortable Situation". There are so many different personalities in the world that I am sure being in an uncomfortable situation applies to everyone. I would assume some more than others depending on the environment.

I ask you all the following....PLUS What you would do in my shoes?????(read below)
1. How do you define an uncomfortable situation?
2. Do you think an uncomfortable situation is reflective to a personality?
3. How do you feel in an uncomfortable situation?
4. Tell of an uncomfortable situation you were in and how you handled it.

My ex of seven years called me up on the phone. He begun to describe a woman named destiny who is single and pregnant.I know what type of a woman he is attracted to. One that is naive and helpless. Took me by little surprise. As he was telling about me about the situation it made me feel alittle invaded by cock roaches. I am still looking for bug spray to relive the nasty feeling.

I suppose I shouldn't have asked twice if he was screwing Destiny the pregnant girl. I already knew it. I was thinking that maybe he might reflect on the fact he is sleeping with a woman whose baby is not his. Not to mention she just came out of an abusive relationship with the father and some how has ended up with my ex who is abusive. Thats why I left two years ago. Poor girls with their sick cycle of abuse. Poor Destiny for finding my ex although he did say he told her that he wants nothing to do with the child. Whatever that means...... Clear to say poor girl needs love so bad she is willing to sleep with someone who doesn't want anything to do with her child or a relationship.

None of my business. No he has no remorse. I just can't help but go off and think and ask questions. I feel like situations are like puzzles. I hate doing puzzles but I would rather stare at one complete then have a table full of pieces.

My ex ended the conversation by asking if I would talk to Destiny and answer any of her questions regarding child birth. Cause she is alone and fearful. I suppose I have practice I do have two of my own. Its a very icky situation to be in. I just wish I was never asked and I did not know and this day could of ended with out me knowing what scum some men can be.

However, that's not the case, my ex texted me her number. My heart goes out to her. Once a returned a call from my ex. I guess he called from her place. She picked up and I heard her sweet voice. I heard a younger version of myself in her voice. Although I must admit I was never so sweet.

I am not sure the emotions I am feeling. Or How I will choose to respond in this uncomfortable situation. I did what I do best and I took a step back and isolated myself so I could digest before I react. Although we all know I am going to call her.... but what should I say?

Part of me knows that even if I suggested that she is becoming a mother its time for her to raise a child and get away from abusive men; its none of my business. It goes to show how narcissistic my ex is, He gave me a number to a girl whose been abused and never thought I would tell her he is abusive. Silence is deadly.

Sucks for the child most. Somewhere deep down inside I hate the idea that this woman will have a innocent child and mostly expose it to men who are abusive and give less than they take. Thats how the story goes more often than not. Unless she is willing to break the cycle which requires alot of effort and constant reflection.

Please give me insight all..... What would you do in my shoes?
 

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My heart goes out to her.

[...] Although we all know I am going to call her.... but what should I say?

[...] Please give me insight all..... What would you do in my shoes?
You're not responsible for cleaning up after your ex of course.

However, I think you already know the answer and I think I'd do the same. Call her and let your heart speak.

Although I'd call first casually, getting to know her more. Maybe just talk with her about her life, how things are going, without being judgmental. In the sense of *not* letting my idea of her being a girl addicted to the abusive cycle (assuming I'd have the same idea as you) dictate my perception of her. After all, she's an individual, so I'd let her speak for herself. I think it would take a couple of calls really.

If she's truly in danger or anything, I'd voice my concerns quick, like a parent would maybe (since people do think I have a dad-like aspect to me, even though I'm not a father). If not, I would just try being there for her as a friend.

I don't know, but I would just not premeditate about this too much. Try to figure out her situation in more details and don't let your ex' opinion of her lead you. Make your own judgment, take your own actions and let them be from your heart. :)


(On a different note: I wouldn't mind if you would not use the font and letter size you used, but if you need to for some reason, I could get used to it. ^^ )
 
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I suppose I shouldn't have asked twice if he was screwing Destiny the pregnant girl. I already knew it. I was thinking that maybe he might reflect on the fact he is sleeping with a woman whose baby is not his. Not to mention she just came out of an abusive relationship with the father and some how has ended up with my ex who is abusive. Thats why I left two years ago. Poor girls with their sick cycle of abuse.
I was once one of those,"poor girls with their sick cycle of abuse" that you refer to. But I broke that cycle with the help of non-judgmental and caring people. If it were me...I would call her, listen to her, and gently lead her to the proper resources. This may also help:Supporting a Victim of Domestic Violence
 

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What better person to talk to her than someone who was also in an abusive relationship but got out? And you yourself know how difficult it is to leave the situation. You understand her situation better than anyone else would. The above posters pretty much already said what I think about your situation. Do what you know is right :) Also, I admire your strength and courage for being able to leave your abusive relationship. Maybe the girl will be able to find strength and courage by hearing from you.
 

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You're not responsible for cleaning up after your ex of course.

However, I think you already know the answer and I think I'd do the same. Call her and let your heart speak.

Although I'd call first casually, getting to know her more. Maybe just talk with her about her life, how things are going, without being judgmental. In the sense of *not* letting my idea of her being a girl addicted to the abusive cycle (assuming I'd have the same idea as you) dictate my perception of her. After all, she's an individual, so I'd let her speak for herself. I think it would take a couple of calls really.

If she's truly in danger or anything, I'd voice my concerns quick, like a parent would maybe (since people do think I have a dad-like aspect to me, even though I'm not a father). If not, I would just try being there for her as a friend.

I don't know, but I would just not premeditate about this too much. Try to figure out her situation in more details and don't let your ex' opinion of her lead you. Make your own judgment, take your own actions and let them be from your heart. :)


(On a different note: I wouldn't mind if you would not use the font and letter size you used, but if you need to for some reason, I could get used to it. ^^ )
ha, your thank on my post disappeared after I edited "no" to "know" because I didn't see the typo at first.
 
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