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What are some of the tactics you use to control your emotions when they're about to erupt?

When I'm extremely angry with someone, I resort to text-based communication. If something happens when we're in each other presences to upset me, I pretend to be really calm and then remove myself from the scene just so I can write you an angry letter or a well-thought out text message. :blushed:

I don't like having the other person get a sense of how close I am to losing control of my emotions, so I hide behind the screen of either my computer or phone. :ninja:

I don't lash out, but my displeasure is made clear and outlined in such a manner that the person on the receiving end tend to feel ashamed of their actions and contrite. :wink:

I know it's silly, but it really helps me not say things I might regret later on. With text, I can still control what I say. My intention is not to hurt the other person's feelings, but make mine known. Without, you know, feeling exposed and whatnot. :unsure:
 

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Frequent writing, meditation and even role-playing helps me to see different angles of a situation and after a while, it completely diffuses emotions. My convictions may be strong but are under construction in those private moments of rumination. No matter what's happened, I become cerebral again and eager to tackle even my own validity.

Potent emotions, particularly those related to anger or deep hurt, are unmistakably heavy for me. My energy (which can be very much like a sedative on a daily basis; mellow, calm, etc.) suddenly becomes kinetic and palpable; it is not a good energy and will expand, to put others on edge/head them off of tempting me further.
I try my best to put initial reactions on pause and wait until I'm far removed from a situation, to assess it from different angles.
Are my initial reactions valid and called for, given the circumstances? What do I understand from the other's point of view? Would it help to revisit the situation and attempt to come to an agreement, conclusion, neutrality? Either way, I know that I have to reach a conclusion on what has happened, so much thought and self-analysis ensues, but usually away from any more external stimuli.
If, for instance, I'm around a person who thrives on exacerbating a debate or argument with high emotion, I may either become quiet and bitingly truthful or blistering and final about the conversation. If it is just about arbitrary aggression, a war of pride, I am not interested. Nothing is learned from it.
I'm a firm believer and practitioner of saying what one needs to hear, not what one wants to hear.
Tact is important, but not at the expense of stripping the truth, when someone desperately needs it.
 

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Fu Dominant
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Computer games provide excellent cathartic release. When I'm in the mood to relax and zone out, I go mining in Minecraft. When I'm annoyed with stupid people, I go kill bad guys in Mass Effect. After I get done paying bills and have no money left, I go pretend I'm rich in The Sims, lol.

And if all that fails, well... I vent here on the forums in the appropriate threads. :eek:)
 

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Fu Dominant
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... I'm pretty sure NFs wouldn't be NFs if they could have an ability to shut off their caring on a whim. ;o)
 

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I try to allow them to erupt in a non destructive manner such as your example. Stuffing my face with food is one tactic though not exactly constructive it is less destructive than other options :p...or not. The other tactics I use are isolating myself so I can cry and clear my head or whatever I need to do. The other option is venting about it to someone I trust if they are available - that's usually the best option for me. If I have no choice but to remain around the person who has upset me, I find that turning silent works well though it's all I can do to get away and be alone because I start to feel suffocated and on the edge of fury if they keep on feeding the fire.
 

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I hang up, walk away, emotionally distance myself, give out 'fuck off' vibe, or just brush it off like it doesn't phase me when it really, REALLY does. Often when I feel the anger or whatever emotion setting in, I get myself alone to recuperate by boiling in it by myself (then fixing it on my own -_-) instead of having the situation go on and risk being irrational and hurtful when it doesn't have to be that way. I've had times where my emotions spilled over before I could prevent it, and although it feels a little good to be totally expressive in the moment, it also feels a little unnecessary in retrospect because communicating through feelings in the present tense never really works for me. You seem to handle it maturely and I am surely trying to continue to learn the same also. A big thing I need to do more of is venting or just getting it out of my system instead of letting it build inside.
 

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it also helps to know that people generally give off emotional noise that is really just an expression of what they're feeling, it doesn't have any value beyond its mere expression
 

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it also helps to know that people generally give off emotional noise that is really just an expression of what they're feeling, it doesn't have any value beyond its mere expression
So you're saying people give off a vibe that is possible to detect? whwow! and that vibe or emotional noise correlates to how they actually feel? No way! who would have thought?!

Anyway back to the original question. I turn into a sarcastic condescending prick or I just walk away like many others have said.
 

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Frequent writing, meditation and even role-playing helps me to see different angles of a situation and after a while, it completely diffuses emotions. My convictions may be strong but are under construction in those private moments of rumination. No matter what's happened, I become cerebral again and eager to tackle even my own validity.

Potent emotions, particularly those related to anger or deep hurt, are unmistakably heavy for me. My energy (which can be very much like a sedative on a daily basis; mellow, calm, etc.) suddenly becomes kinetic and palpable; it is not a good energy and will expand, to put others on edge/head them off of tempting me further.
I try my best to put initial reactions on pause and wait until I'm far removed from a situation, to assess it from different angles.
Are my initial reactions valid and called for, given the circumstances? What do I understand from the other's point of view? Would it help to revisit the situation and attempt to come to an agreement, conclusion, neutrality? Either way, I know that I have to reach a conclusion on what has happened, so much thought and self-analysis ensues, but usually away from any more external stimuli.
If, for instance, I'm around a person who thrives on exacerbating a debate or argument with high emotion, I may either become quiet and bitingly truthful or blistering and final about the conversation. If it is just about arbitrary aggression, a war of pride, I am not interested. Nothing is learned from it.
I'm a firm believer and practitioner of saying what one needs to hear, not what one wants to hear.
Tact is important, but not at the expense of stripping the truth, when someone desperately needs it.
Perfectly stated. I agree with every point made above.

Too often people choose to view a conflict from only their own perspective; this is almost never a wise decision.

That initial emotional reaction should serve as a "warning light" of sorts. It should signal you to not only introspectively analyze the deeper causes of your emotion, but to also externally analyze the reasons why other parties involved hold the perspectives they do.

Irrationality reigns supreme in fits of rage, sorrow, or frustration. Allowing the initial wave of emotion to subside will enable one to more clearly examine the situation in terms of the differing subjective realities of everyone involved.

Many times conflicts stem from a simple misunderstanding based on a misinterpretation of one person's intended meaning. When this is the case, the solution is simple. Communicate more successfully with one another and the problem disappears.

Other times there is no fundamental misunderstanding. In these cases, emotions are often justified for one or more of the people involved. Regardless, it's still not wise to make snap judgments in the heat of the moment. Harsh words and hasty decisions rarely do anything but make a situation worse. Even in these cases it's best to refrain from reacting immediately if at all possible, and to address things once you've had time to get your thoughts and convictions in order.
 
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If it's in real time, I just close my mouth and think about what they said. If I think it's worth my time, I just think to come up with a calm, rational explination to try and diffuse the temper in the situation. If it isn't worth my time or they're just emotionally out of control, I just walk away or just start ignoring them in the conversation. Usually it makes them more angry, but I tend to not care.
 

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Literally, count ten.

Know where my 'centre' is and take a moment to go back there and think before speaking / acting.
 

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Ideally, I try to keep my composure and calm and directly address the offending person if it's something that's occurring in real time. I feel like insight into their perspective on the situation is invaluable because it helps diffuse my anger to know that they're not just being a dick (though sometimes..) and have some, however inane, reasoning behind their actions or words. I actually find face to face interaction better in these cases because there's just so much ambiguity in text, unfortunately. I really like to just get to the heart of the matter/what caused the specific instance of bullshit in the first place and work at coming to terms with that.

If the issue is unresolvable I resort to spite and do something productive but catharsis is also very good. :D

Also just knowing that I don't HAVE to like/respect someone in most cases, especially when I already know many lovely people, is pretty comforting. I guess that's part of the infamous doorslam though.

Oh and gaming is good... SOMETIMES. I'd advise against multiplayer though.. lol
 

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I usually try to find something solitary to do at work if it gets that bad. There have been times I've cleaned out the freezers just to get some time to myself. However, my break is absolutely vital. I usually let my mind wander for the duration while listening to music. Depending on what mood I'm in, the genre of music changes. If that isn't enough however, I start getting rather uppity and sarcastic. After that, if it goes on, I end up in a completely apathetic mood. It's very rare that it happens but when it does, I need to be alone when work is over.

When I'm home, I'll read or if I'm wound up, playing video games helps immensely. I usually like substance in what I play but I have my list of shame that contains nothing but senseless violence. However, above all, alone time is how I unwind and control my emotions. Even if I sit there and do absolutely nothing, I'll eventually be fine.
 

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Dealing with emotions on a day to day basis in general,... emotions are often triggered by thought, by controlling your thoughts you can control your emotions, you can back burner your negative thoughts and problems, and always choose to come back to them later, trying to be as much "in the moment" as possible with those you are choosing to spend time with :) This has helped me immensely, however it is much easier said than done ;)
 
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