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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently I lost a close friend of mine after I admitted interest in her for the sake of "getting it out of my thoughts". And as a result, my mind's been blank and lifeless, realizing that I haven't had that many close friends, let alone good friends, to begin with. I can't even process my thoughts to think rationally. I could only say that it's my fault for driving the person away like that. If I withheld and controlled those thoughts more properly, I wouldn't have had to deal with all this and lose a friendship that I valued so much of. If I was more prepared for it, then the loss wouldn't even have to matter, but I wasn't, unfortunately. And now, I find many things to be extremely distasteful.
 

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Heretic
ESI 5w4 9w8 2w1
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What can you focus on to turn your life back on track?
 

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Spotlight March 2016
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The pretty standard advice I've seen people give is: ''If they abandoned you, they weren't a good friend anyway.''

But, don't worry! You can always make new friends. Try expanding your horizons, join clubs and stuff that include interests that jive with you. You'll find more people to mingle with, and grow as an individual, too.
 

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If I withheld and controlled those thoughts more properly, I wouldn't have had to deal with all this and lose a friendship that I valued so much of.
It's funny how much I empathise with this. I used to blurt things out without thinking them through and it made a hell lot of problems for me.

The most important thing to do before speaking is to have a purpose in mind. What do you want to achieve by saying this? What will it actually achieve?

That being said, what's done is done.

I don't think you were the only contributing factor to the broken friendship, so don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds like your friend could've been more accepting.

Your relationships are probably not as bad as you believe them to be. Everything looks bad when you're hurting. Take it easy for a while and leave the evaluation for later.
 

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@ Masked_Fragments
At present it seems like thinks might be quite catastrophic but this won't last too long, it sounds like your quite emotionally drained and confused by your friends withdrawal choice from you life and wish to rewind time undoing what was said but at times this is not always the best thing; especially when you have obviously sat on these feelings for a friend for quite a while... be patient if they are a true friend then they will need processing time to overcome shock then get back to you if they can. Give them a few weeks space then check it with them via text or Facebook or even call them to hear their thoughts on the matter, if they do not respond then it is their lose and it was best to be honest for your own sanities sake, I commend you for for having the courage to put yourself on the line when so many wouldn't.

 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Lately, I just needed time exclusively to myself to think of where I stand and I could only say that I've a few ideas. Giving it more thought, I suppose I dismissed the insensitive qualities of the said person, doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. Just means that there was incompatibility with personalities. I'm just surprised the time it took to get back up was only a few days. And another few to realize other things that need some tinkering.

@ Inky
You're right. The reality of something is never as bad as one may believe it to be. Kinda sucks when that happens during "one of those days". For the most part, I was extremely cynical and criticizing.

@ StElmosDream
I thank you, comrade.
 
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If I withheld and controlled those thoughts more properly, I wouldn't have had to deal with all this and lose a friendship that I valued so much of.
If that's the only way you could have kept things from playing out the way they did, then you don't think if it didn't happen now it would've happened later? I agree that losing a friend due to something you feel responsible for is devastating, but don't worry! You never know what may happen. You may end up meeting someone ten times better or your friend may forgive you and be willing to give you a second chance.

At any rate, not beating yourself up and to continue living your life is probably the best thing to do.
 
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