As introverts we like to feel in control over every aspect of our being.. A compliment effects us emotionally and the positive feelings we feel are a loss of control and create a state of vulnerability. We might even feel exposed. :OHmm, sounds like it's not unusual for us to feel embarrassed or even (inwardly) contrary when we're complimented. I also find it hard to take compliments.
Why do you think it's hard to accept compliments? When someone says something nice about you, why would you react with embarrassment? Or even disagreement?
These are questions that I'm asking myself, and I'm wondering what it's like for other INFJ's. I wonder if it has to do with the high standards we hold ourselves to? As in, taking a compliment might be difficult if you feel like you haven't met the impossibly high standard you set for yourself in your mind?
What do you think?
Yes! I think this is very true, our expectations guiding our interpretation of love, kindness, and acceptance. It's been a personal journey of mine to be more open to seeing the world with fewer expectations, or maybe ones that are less rigid.Perhaps INFJs are actually the ones not understanding and under valuing others because their own expectations of things are not being met.
It reminds of a fridge magnet I saw once... "Just because someone isn't loving you the way you expect doesn't mean they aren't loving with all they have in the way they know how."
or something to that effect.
Hmm I'm seeing something similar to this. I'm guessing that this loss of control is more upsetting to J types than P types, and more upsetting to F types than to T types.As introverts we like to feel in control over every aspect of our being.. A compliment effects us emotionally and the postive feelings we feel are a loss of control and create a state of vulnerability.
For me, part of this boils down to some childhood stuff where I'd be "buttered up" and then something bad would happen. That bad could be asking for a favor, offering criticism, verbal attack or a few other possibilities. Thus, I tend to be en garde when given a compliment out of the blue without sufficient context. In my case, this is pure defense of myself that I feel is needed in some situations. Same thing if someone tries to tell me to "Calm down" that it just triggers me to get as defensive and on edge as possible.Hmm, sounds like it's not unusual for us to feel embarrassed or even (inwardly) contrary when we're complimented. I also find it hard to take compliments.
Why do you think it's hard to accept compliments? When someone says something nice about you, why would you react with embarrassment? Or even disagreement?
These are questions that I'm asking myself, and I'm wondering what it's like for other INFJ's. I wonder if it has to do with the high standards we hold ourselves to? As in, taking a compliment might be difficult if you feel like you haven't met the impossibly high standard you set for yourself in your mind?
What do you think?