So here's my dilemma...
A dislike or fear of conflict is natural in INFPs and in many martial artists but the combination of this and my INFP inability to release or vent my anger/stress/anxiety in any direction other than inwards, proves fatal in putting myself in a sparring mindset. In fact I have never been able to put myself in this focused state except for once. In probably close to 1,000 sparring practice and competition sessions, I have achieved this focus once by accident.
I've taken Taekwondo since I was about 10 or 11 and I am 18 now. Through all those years I never enjoyed the sparring competitions and eventually stopped attending altogether a few years ago. This was never a lack of ability but the ability to apply. So while I've taken a year out before college, I've been training harder at home and finally getting in good shape. I have been approached by one of my instructors who wants to put together a team for sparring competitions. I am apprehensive about the idea of sparring but feel it would be a good opportunity for growth if I could learn to release any of my pent up feelings.
I'm hoping any other martial artist INFPs could share their experiences in taking on this problem.