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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I guess I just want to better understand how people think, and I don't want to go all over the internet for vagueness by experts.

Contradictions are fine. Just talk about yourself..(you do enjoy that, right). How do you think, feel? What annoys you, what do you enjoy?
 

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I have always been fairly unsure of myself. I hesitate a lot before I say things. Because of that I sometimes miss the opportunity to say it - or I may decide not to say it. I over analyse things I have said (not so much now than I did when I was younger) and sometimes regret having spoken at all. I don't worry too much any more, but I do consistantly worry that I may have been insensitive or hurt another person inadvertantly. Saying that, I can be very cold and cut people off without warning if they piss me off - but it's usually because they are insensitive and pushy and won't leave me alone/take a hint. I can't stand pushy people.

I think a lot about how people work, and what makes them tick. It's what I want to know more than anything else - to understand others and also to be understood. I want others to know me, and to be willing to work at that in the way that I am - like peeling the layers of an onion, but at the same time I want to hide and remain unknown.

I love music, art and beautiful ways that people express themselves subtly. I like subtlety. I want life to be always sensuous, rich and full of meaning. I need to connect to others, and feel lonely if I feel no one understands me or doesn't care. I hate being taken for granted or treated like a fool.

I find people fascinating.
 

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To do something meaningful with my life. I'm not sure what that is though. At the moment I play the harp here and there but I'm not sure if that really means anything significant. It's nice, but thinking of going into counselling.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Yes. I want to know people's inner workings so that when I do things I know how best you use them, what jobs to place them in. And I don't want an "expert" to tell me either. I find people best know themselves. The only thing I could learn from a so-called "expert" is what he feels towards other types and how to manipulate them. I don't want that. I want to get along with them.
 

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INTP 874 sx/sp VLEF melancholic
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It's pretty easy to get along with an INFP if you're nice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I'm not nice. But here's a more specific question: can you get along with your boss, or do you have to be on top? If you can work for someone else, what do they have to be for you to be willing to work for them. Competent? Nice? If you have to be on top, do you tend to be nice yourselves? Or are you so Introverted that you have a hard time reciprocating feelings of happiness?
 

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I'm not nice. But here's a more specific question: can you get along with your boss, or do you have to be on top? If you can work for someone else, what do they have to be for you to be willing to work for them. Competent? Nice? If you have to be on top, do you tend to be nice yourselves? Or are you so Introverted that you have a hard time reciprocating feelings of happiness?
Personally:
- If you're not nice we're going to fall out, and if not I'll be looking for another job.
- I have no need to be boss, necessarily, but I want recognition for my abilities and some level of superiority in that. I wouldn't mind having a high level of responsibility, I suppose, I have a few strong ideas, principles and directions, I can think strategically, but I don't want decisions dumped on me perpetually and I want a bunch of nice and intelligent people to back me up intellectually.
- If my boss were incompetent I would very much like to be saying something about it to his boss, he shouldn't be in that position. The Peter and Dilbert Principles apply. If he's just unpleasant, however, I'll be saying something to him.
- Were I to be any kind of boss I would be nice. My aim would be to make sure everyone has the space, environment and resources they need to do what they individually do best. Being a dick does not a good boss make.
- Similarly I would want my boss to accept my differences and uniqueness, put them to best use and give me the environment and resources I work best in.
- Tying into the above points, remember, INFPs are introverts (I wish businesspeople would stop treating that like a vice) but we're people people. We like to be nice. It's all in the type description.
- If I'm happy I have no problem reciprocating happiness to the people I see every day. I like to be happy anyway (I think, it's been a while). Introversion and reservedness are correlationally related but not the same thing.
 
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