[curious0610]

Talking seems to drain me out. a LOT. Sometimes in conversations, I feel like someone's pulled an imaginary plug and the longer the conversation, the more and more physically drained I get. For example, I have a friend that can talk for 3 hours straight. I love my friend, but even after about 30 minutes, I will feel immensely exhausted. She is talking so rapidly and so intensely, whereas I am mellow and need some space/time to react. If we are sitting on the same couch talking like this, I will be really drained. But if I can maintain some space/distance, like sitting on a different couch at least a few feet away, it seems to be a little bit better.

I also find conversations with my IxTx friends to be mentally draining… I guess we often spend hours and hours talking about society and the world. They spend a lot of time criticizing society, or when people act stupid, or criticizing certain authors/journalists, critiquing new articles. and they find this stimulating. I do, too (but only within school I guess). I don't know why but I just find this mentally draining and find myself just nodding along. Don't get me wrong. I care about what goes on in the world, but i'd rather talk about myself, about my my friend's life, about experiences I've had, about experiences my friends had, relating to each other, that sort of thing. I find all this critical talk/talk about the world as equivalent to small talk. and hours of small talk is just too tough on me. The thing is, I have some similar opinions as they do, but for me it's kind of obvious/internalized that society is stupid, there are bad people and so forth. However, I don't find a need to talk about it. I'd rather talk about important things...

 

[StarryNight]

There are certain people that can drain me easily, yet others that I can talk to for hours and afterwards I feel a bit energized. With me, it depends on the person and the mood I'm in. I do know that if I'm in a bigger group of people...like three or more, I'm completely drained, even if I don't talk.

 

[The Vizier]

Talking seems to drain me out. a LOT. Sometimes in conversations, I feel like someone's pulled an imaginary plug and the longer the conversation, the more and more physically drained I get. For example, I have a friend that can talk for 3 hours straight. I love my friend, but even after about 30 minutes, I will feel immensely exhausted. She is talking so rapidly and so intensely, whereas I am mellow and need some space/time to react. If we are sitting on the same couch talking like this, I will be really drained. But if I can maintain some space/distance, like sitting on a different couch at least a few feet away, it seems to be a little bit better.

I have been in a similiar situation like you. There are one or 2 friends who can keep talking and talking about stuff and I just feel drained listening to them. I think a lot of the draining comes from their attitude, their anger, their frustration, criticisms and negativity. I never have this problem and can go on for hours if the attitude is more positive and focused on solutions.

There are certain people that can drain me easily, yet others that I can talk to for hours and afterwards I feel a bit energized. With me, it depends on the person and the mood I'm in. I do know that if I'm in a bigger group of people...like three or more, I'm completely drained, even if I don't talk.

Yeah I feel exactly the same way in big groups; I get tired easily probably because I have to channel my energy in so many directions and so I don't say much. Personally I'm not too keen to be in groups because the conversation is usually quite boring for me as they don't talk about stuff that interest me. Well it's good to know I'm not alone.

 

[Pacifique]

just the act of talking drains me sometimes
and especially people who are addicted to focusing on negative stuff just for the sake of it and endlessly justifying such ill tendencies..
but after a long period of introverted process i find myself filled with more unusual and interesting idea and i become communicatable for qutie a short while.. quite intense though

 

[Linus]

I find I drain people :sad: haha
I don't even speak about anything negative, I think people just get annoyed with me thinking (either in my head or aloud)
They look like they are impatient while I'm speaking/thinking
One of my theories is, I don't have enough facial expression or change in tone of voice
And I also don't give a quick answer
I find them a bit childish to have to NEED that though. If they want a reaction, only then will I give them one. A bonk on the head! :tongue:

 

[spook]

I agree, I wonder how quiet INFJs are compared to the other introverts. I notice that introverted sensors tend to find more things to talk about, just through commenting on things in their environment, pointing out details I'm completely oblivious to, or having an affinity for anecdotes. There are also more personalities they can relate to irl. Ni also thinks abstractly so our thoughts would be harder to articulate? At least that's definitely how it feels for me!

I have been in a similiar situation like you. There are one or 2 friends who can keep talking and talking about stuff and I just feel drained listening to them. I think a lot of the draining comes from their attitude, their anger, their frustration, criticisms and negativity. I never have this problem and can go on for hours if the attitude is more positive and focused on solutions.

True. I've experienced being drained by that sort of critical IxTx society bashing too when at first I was interested. Maybe bc I've had the same frustrating dialogue with myself so many times that it would be more refreshing to talk about possible solutions. They are also not expressing how it makes them feel, how the quality of their experiences have been affected, just why the policies are illogical, so we can begin to feel disengaged as the conversation is more impersonal and task focused. With my ENFJ friend for example, we were able to talk for 4hrs on the phone once and she was the one who said she had to go first

 

[The Vizier]

True. I've experienced being drained by that sort of critical IxTx society bashing too when at first I was interested. Maybe bc I've had the same frustrating dialogue with myself so many times that it would be more refreshing to talk about possible solutions. They are also not expressing how it makes them feel, how the quality of their experiences have been affected, just why the policies are illogical, so we can begin to feel disengaged as the conversation is more impersonal and task focused. With my ENFJ friend for example, we were able to talk for 4hrs on the phone once and she was the one who said she had to go first

Hah, talk about wearing out your friend.

But yeah you're right about how such conversations would have been more interesting if it were more personal or had positive steps that we could take. Yes it is true that you need to talk and vent your frustrations once in awhile to get things off your chest about something. I just don't like beating a dead horse to death. After awhile it is best to bury it or something. Move on to the next horse that is still alive so we can make a difference of sorts.

 

[The Proof]

one thing you can try is to stop trying to make sense of what others are saying, just do it like they do, talk a lot, enthusiastically, don't really stop to think

 

[Zomboy]

Conversation requires too much mental action. At least at my job (a call center), all I have to focus on is the tone and inflection of my voice

I don't really seek conversation out unless I'm in a good mood or I want something. Conversations however seem to find their way to me-- I'm quite the popular one at work > <

My roommate is an ENFP and doesn't seem to understand why I need alone time after work

 

[northernsky]

I totally agree. I am very happy talking about things that are going on in people's lives, art, music, books and all that sort of thing, but I hate having to talk about political/society sort of stuff. I either don't have enough information to have an informed opinion so I can't either agree or disagree wth them, or else I feel as if it always ends up going into conflict which I hate. I don't like having to defend my opinions, or someone attacking me with some fact or opinion that I don't know or care enough about to dispute. The only time it's okay is with my ENTP friends because they tend to be happy going through their ideas without expecting too much of a reaction from me! My ESTP brother does my head in because he is so aggressive with his ill-informed ideas about the world and conspiracy theories etc. He's always justifying people's right to speed in their cars, for example, whereas this completely outrages me.

 

[Zomboy]

Spending time with my ENTP friend doesn't get tiring very easily, however

We have accepted each other as the natural 'best friends who hate one another' duo

We challenge each other's intellects like it's a game

He'll come to me for advice on stuff, and then give me this "O wise one" routine

 

[transcendMe]

If we are sitting on the same couch talking like this, I will be really drained. But if I can maintain some space/distance, like sitting on a different couch at least a few feet away, it seems to be a little bit better.

This is so true for me, especially when interacting with strong extraverts. When positioned closely to some one during a long conversation, I can feel my face muscles starting to hurt from all the chatting, and my smile might even start to quiver from exhaustion.
I find this happens a lot when talking with excited ENFPs...even though I love them and all they have to offer, their connections spewing out a mile a minute can be difficult to keep up with. :laughing:

 

[MoonLight]

I found it does depend on the person but in general I do get drained by talking and also by the need to offer a reaction to what people are saying. In the latter case it gets harder when the topic of conversation is boring and being INFJ you can’t tell the other person they are boring you out of your mind.

 

[Sanguine]

My friends know that I'll run out of steam and will just continue to talk muchly until I've regenerated.

Lately, I've been deliberately throwing myself into social situations with complete strangers *shock*. Not doing too badly (touch wood), but I really should make a list of non-challenging subjects to give the other person momentum to keep going for a while over the inevitable lull. Cause it's preettty awkward at those points when you feel all 'bleurgh'.