Talking to an unhealthy 5w4 who seems kinda down?

4162 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by Kilgore Trout, Apr 24, 2012

Vexed

Discussion Starter · Apr 23, 2012

I have been informed of their plight and I like to think I have some empathy. I know of their drug usage (weed) and addiction to nicotine.

I'm not entirely comfortable mentioning what this person has been through (at least on the board) but I have received he

I'm a 6w5 if it matters.

Is it better to just leave this person alone or not?

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Curiously

· #2 · Apr 23, 2012

I'm a 5w4 and when I was undergoing some rough patches especially last year, I appreciated my friends reaching out to me. While I still declined most of their invitations to meet up because I didn't have the wherewithal to get outside and interact with the world, I was comforted to know my close friends were available if I found myself in dire straits. I think it'd go a long way to let your friends know you're around if he/she is in a bind. I doubt a true 5w4 going through a tough spot would want anyone to 'fix' his/her problems or give out tons of advice, but simply letting your friend know you're around and care for him/her goes a long way - well, it does for me.

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Vexed

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 23, 2012

What would happen if I say ive seen this person not being themselves but I'm wrong? What relationships would I have to be at the very least to say or ask this?

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VivianeScrooge

· #4 · Apr 23, 2012

I think you should give he/she a helping hand, but don't push it. Like what @SillaSY stated. I've been through tough times recently, a 6w5 friend of mine was there and she just gave support instead of advice. When I feel completely alienated, fact consumtive, confuse about my surrounding and my sense of identity, she was the one who clarify my confusion. Also give a lot of assertion, a 5 already know a bunch of stuff about stress management, how to elevate mood, the negative effects of nicotine etc. What we need to know is :
"the world/people is not as bad as you think". Best of lucks, I'm sorry about your friend.

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Vexed

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 24, 2012

VivianeScrooge said:
I think you should give he/she a helping hand, but don't push it. Like what @SillaSY stated. I've been through tough times recently, a 6w5 friend of mine was there and she just gave support instead of advice. When I feel completely alienated, fact consumtive, confuse about my surrounding and my sense of identity, she was the one who clarify my confusion. Also give a lot of assertion, a 5 already know a bunch of stuff about stress management, how to elevate mood, the negative effects of nicotine etc. What we need to know is :
"the world/people is not as bad as you think". Best of lucks, I'm sorry about your friend.

I'm just afraid of being wrong if I offer it

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sleepyhead

· #6 · Apr 24, 2012

Vexed said:
I'm just afraid of being wrong if I offer it

If all you're offering is support, how can you go wrong? I don't even know if you need to go into the details of what's going on for them, but just saying something like, "It seems like things have been stressful/difficult/etc lately. I just wanted to let you know if you need anything I'm here for you."

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Kilgore Trout

· #7 · Apr 24, 2012

Vexed said:
I have been informed of their plight and I like to think I have some empathy. I know of their drug usage (weed) and addiction to nicotine.

I'm not entirely comfortable mentioning what this person has been through (at least on the board) but I have received he

I'm a 6w5 if it matters.

Is it better to just leave this person alone or not?

Ultimately it's up to the preference of that person during one of these states. People can react differently, in ways that are not ordinary for their natural character, even if they are of the same enneagram type. I've gone through bouts of existential depression, especially after dealing with the deaths of people close to me. During that time, I had the urge to go out and get my mind off of my problems. I smoked a lot of weed then. I didn't really want to talk about what was bothering me; I kept everything inside. On the outside, I seemed normal to others. Now, whenever I go through similar downtimes, I don't want to communicate with anyone or deal with people, because I feel melancholic toward the world. However, I've noticed that activities that can ease my nerves, like talking a stroll through the woods or spending a night drinking with friends, can help. I'm not sure who your friend is or what he/she enjoys doing. Don't force them to speak about their problems, but make sure that you can be available if they need you. Maybe even suggest an activity to do that isn't connected to their troubles, but nevertheless, is beneficial to them, rather than offering drinks or drugs.

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