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I notice a lot of you mention how much you love talking to strangers about random things and listening intently. How do you guys start those conversations may I ask? It's something thats been intereting me lately, but I'm a young introvert who has falsely relied on Ti too much...I don't have social skills.

And I'm talking about the random stuff, because there's nothing I hate more than talking about the weather...
 

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First, I have to get the vibe from the random person that he/she wants to talk about random things! After this step is accomplished, I usually bring up something normal, and feel out the person until I can find a suitable topic that's out there. It's basically like lending out rope. You feed it out gradually, and eventually you're somewhere completely different! :)
 

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You should DEFINITELY ask this question to the ESFPs also, but back on topic, yes, you need to feel out whether or not said stranger wants to talk to you before you strike up any sort of conversation.

It's really just all about finding a common interest. Humor works well also.
 

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Yeah, to reiterate what other people have said, only talk to people who you know want to talk to you. Start treading on more normal subjects and build up, to get a feel of how tolerant they are. Usually it ends up naturally progressing to the weirdness level after we feel comfortable around one another.

And not every random person is going to lead to random conversations. Just keep trying until you find the ones who do C:
 

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Yeah...I usually just start out with what I guess could be described as "bait."

"Bait" is usually an off-hand comment or something that you would maybe greet a friend with. For instance, on the bus the other day, I was sitting next to this guy and he was reading the newspaper and I just leaned over and asked, "any interesting things going on in the world?" and from there the conversation took off.

However, some people don't take it much farther than a curt "yes" or "no" answer. That's fine! The important thing is not to feel insulted or self-conscious if they do. :laughing:
 

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women - compliment something they're wearing... men - mention something about the local sports team.... done deal
 

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Talk about the weather! ~ and lots of other stuff!

I know this is a lot to read, but small talk is a crucial skill in this world. I used to hate it. Hate it! But even if you hate it, it's important to know how to do it. Practice and get out of your comfort zone and don't worry that someone will think you're wierd or look at you funny. I'm not the queen of small talk, but I come from a long line of extroverts who like engaging people and learning about people. Each one of us (on this forum) has different things we can say or notice that could start a conversation. Even if it is only for two minutes, it can make the day more fun. It's harder for intorverts, but anyone can feel shy, so just try.

Here are some of my own goofy examples:

If it's raining and the winds are kicking up, I'll say, "I wonder if this will turn into a hurricane?" ( I live in the U.S. Midwest.) Or, "I think I just saw a cow." Or, "I can't wait to drive in this later!" And it's so absurd, people laugh or at least give a polite chuckle. I feel compelled sometimes, to lighten the mood or make people laugh.

If I've helped customer I've liked, and there are no other customers, I'll walk them to the door and say, "Wow, I never get to do this. This is great! Do you still have more shopping to do?" And we might chat a bit as they go out the door. Its amazing what people will tell me if we get to talking.

"It was hotter than the Serengeti here yesterday." (Nodding agreement.) "I honestly checked. It was only 83 on the Serengeti yesterday but it was 95 here! Is that whacky that I would look that up online? It just felt Africa hot."

(I think I say these things to entertain myself first, but it can be a nice way to engage someone. I don't always act on the desire to say something. But if you smile at someone, they might talk to you. )

Hold up a magazine up and say, "Wouldn't it be cool to try this?" Or "Yeah. My cover was better." Or, "I told her that dress does nothing for her."

But sometimes, I don't use humor. A person who has an unusual book in their hands, might get a question from me. Or if there's an obvious physical handicap, I might ask about it, or offer to help them get something off a higher shelf and then we might end up chatting. I have a blind friend and find people generally welcome questions about their seeing eye dogs or other issues.

If you see someone who is extremely fit, you can ask them about their fitness routine etc. "You're in great shape! I'm betting you didn't get that fit by eating these." and I show them giant marshmallows in my cart. But be careful if this is someone of the oppsite sex. They might think you're trying to pick them up.

If you see a shirt or belt or some other unique piece for clothing ask about it. If something strikes you as artistic, mention it. You are hoping the person will respond, so you're interest is genuine. My husband wondered one night why it was taking me so long to come into the house after the pizzas were delivered, but the boy who brought them had natural light blonde hair in dreads and I wondered how he made them, so I asked...

And seriously, almost every instance in life can be related The Princess Bride or Robin Hood: Men in Tights movies, so know your quotes. :')
 

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First, I have to get the vibe from the random person that he/she wants to talk about random things! After this step is accomplished, I usually bring up something normal, and feel out the person until I can find a suitable topic that's out there. It's basically like lending out rope. You feed it out gradually, and eventually you're somewhere completely different! :)

This exactly. Sometimes, I'll perceive that a person is ready to talk about some absurd/weird things, but then some end up being an SJ that was just trying to humor me. The look on their faces...
 

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Ugh...no. Seriously.
hahaha I get you...

Really though I think the comment earlier about hating small talk but being able to resort to it is pure Au. If you really want to be able to carry on conversations with randoms you should be at least somewhat well versed in MANY topics, even stuff that doesn't necessarily interest you directly.

I'm an 80s rock guy, but it might surprise people I'm jamming to Lady Gaga as I write this. Pay close attention to the things that other people relate to strongly. To paraphrase from someone earlier, start with the small talk but feed them some rope and see where the conversation goes. Once you tap into something that interests them strongly, having some background in that topic and going that direction with the conversation is going to keep it going. So you don't like sports, but maybe you know that one of the players is dating your favorite pop star (or in Lady Gaga's case got kicked out of the Yankees' locker room). This is the stuff that can ignite an interesting conversation between people with even wildly different interests.

Striking up a conversation with someone with your interests is easy. Finding something interesting with someone who is not like you can be even more fascinating if done correctly, try it!
 

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If you can't do sports, or fashion, talk about music. Everyone likes either Lady Gaga and/or the Beatles. Drop one of those names and you can't go wrong.
 

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Talking to strangers is easy when you have context. If at a book store, compliment what they're reading if you recognize it. Read what they have, or say hello and hope they're in the mood to talk. Go ahead and walk up to me and start talking about Gaga and I'll be Gagging instead.

People are really hurting for new music these days.
 

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. Go ahead and walk up to me and start talking about Gaga and I'll be Gagging instead.

People are really hurting for new music these days.

How bout them Yankees?
 

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LADY GAGA? She makes me want to GAG-a. I'm gay, and I'm a 15 year old kid, and I don't think she's THAT awesome. I've got to admit, her songs are catchy (but then most are), her voice is better than mine, and her videos are so freakin' unique. BUT if I had to choose, I'd rather go with a nice smooth jazz or something.

And anyone who mentions Justin Beaver will get cut down. PERSONALLY.

I mean it. CUT. DOWN. :laughing:
 

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For the record, I had a 10 minute conversation with a guy I'd never met about an hour ago. I opened with "Brett Favre, re-re-retired! Yeah right he's coming to play isn't he?"

By the end of the 10 minutes I knew three jobs he's had and that he works with his brother but it's making him crazy because it's hard for him to work with family.... Go on, flame my approach now.
 

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And anyone who mentions Justin Beaver will get cut down. PERSONALLY.

I mean it. CUT. DOWN. :laughing:

Yeah, but that Miranda Cosgrove can really wail! :p
 
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