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Talking to strangers

2048 Views 12 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  PeaceOfMind
I find it very hard to start a conversation with a total stranger and I was wondering if it has something to do with being a type 9. I guess I get scared of creating some kind of conflict and I end up never trying to talk with people I don't know, and it might make people think I'm an anti-social guy.

This is specifically bad when I'm interested in a girl I never talked to; I get really scared of trying to talk to her. Usually, I don't have any problems talking to girls I like, if the ice was already broken, but I just can't break it on my own.

You guys can relate to this and, if you can, what you do about it?
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I don't usually have a problem with this, except on the phone, but then, I've trained a lot on this and I'm on meds for social anxiety.
I don't make a habit of talking to strangers. There is a reason the word *strange* is in the first part of strangers, I also find them to often be armed and dangerous.
....You guys can relate to this and, if you can, what you do about it?
Where do you live, Texas?
I don't make a habit of talking to strangers. There is a reason the word *strange* is in the first part of strangers, I also find them to often be armed and dangerous.
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Ha! Not Texas but a small town called Eden.
I'll talk to strangers if there's a reason for it. For example, if I'm in a new class and I don't know anyone, I'll usually strike up a mundane conversation. I'm not one to talk to people in line at the supermarket, though. That's just unnecessary.
When I'm shopping for groceries, that's all I want to do. I avoid stores where I am likely to see someone I know and be obligated to converse with them. :crazy:
I'll talk to strangers if there's a reason for it. For example, if I'm in a new class and I don't know anyone, I'll usually strike up a mundane conversation. I'm not one to talk to people in line at the supermarket, though. That's just unnecessary.
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I don't tend to initiate conversations unless I know the person well. I don't mind replying to someone (strangers included) because; since they started the conversation, they already demonstrated a desire to speak with me in some way.

So I suppose I don't start conversations due to a fear of rejection, and a potential inconvenience from an awkward situation. Besides, I don't like to think about me being "that annoying guy who doesn't shut up," or something like that.

As for what I do about it, nothing really. I suppose I just go with my natural tendencies(?) Forcing myself to be assertive and starting a conversation doesn't feel right. Plus, it hardly ever goes as smoothly as I had hoped...


Oh and about this:

This is specifically bad when I'm interested in a girl I never talked to; I get really scared of trying to talk to her. Usually, I don't have any problems talking to girls I like, if the ice was already broken, but I just can't break it on my own.
I relate to it and then some, I would imagine quite a lot of people do as well. But, at least for me, that is a whole different can o' worms.
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I'm pretty horrible at it. If a stranger starts an interesting conversation I'm usually fine, but other than that I'm usually not the one to start one up with a complete stranger.

I've read that practicing is the way to get better. Force yourself to do it, make small talk. I guess it's easier said than done. Start out by just saying "hey" to people and work your way up. I should take this advice more seriously myself.
I get my... bouncy days, where I'll try and start a conversation with a stranger for the simple reason of connecting socially and maybe brightening the person's day. I mean, if I get to a point where I can't carve out for myself a good reason not to, I'm usually going to initiate. Especially if someone is working but not busy. I mean, I trust enough in my social graces, that it pretty much just comes down to whether or not I can think up an introduction. Just the other week I noticed a security guard working for a security firm owned by my friend, and filled a good 20 minutes of his night with questions about his job, and good ol' sports banter. Now, whenever I'm in the neighbourhood, I'll stop by his 24-hour pharmacy and listen to his stories of busting punk kids lol.

But the key here is that I never run into any problems doing this in my city. In certain bigger cities that I've lived in, I do this much less often because it's just not the social standard.
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i quite enjoyed talking to people i didn't know at school and now at university because atleast there's something we can both talk about. but no i'd never usually go up to some random on the street and try talk to them. that'd probably just be awkward.
I can be really friendly with strangers when I get the courage to speak to them. Normally I'm afraid i'll be the annoying one and just stay quiet.
I tend to stay quiet around strangers and not talk unless I have something relevant or important to say. Most of the time, I don't even know what to say, so I just nod and listen.
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