Personality Cafe banner

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,137 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm making this topic because I want to write out how I end up using Te.

I would also like to read how other INFPs use Te, maybe my writing will trigger a memory for you and get your fingers to start writing too. Maybe we could also find a common trend in the way INFPs use Te.


So here's how it happens for me.

My Te usually comes in to play when either I'm stressed or when it wants to serve Si. When I get home from work and I am seeking comfort, I build an efficient environment for comfort. I will literally plan everything out and arrange things to create maximum comfort. Example, if I want to play video games, but want to watch a tv show first while eating some food, I'll set the computer up to buffer the video while turning the video game system on so I don't have to wait for it to start up later then place my food in the microwave so I can have the video already ahead on the buffer when I decide to eat. Essentially that is my Te trying to organize my environment for efficient comfort. I also try to do everything perfectly before I get under my bed sheets because once I'm in my comfortable position I don't want to get back up and lose it.

My Te usually only comes out to get things done that I already know how to do though. And my Te usually tries to avoid attempting new things. Like I will Te my way out of doing something new and difficult. Like if someone said "Hey try this new method to get this task done, it's much faster than the old way." My stupid self will go through the grueling work of getting the task done the old way (Si) because I dread trying to learn a new process for doing something I already know how to do, my logic says "It will take longer for me to learn the new way to get this done then to just stick to the old way." so my Te works hard to keep things familiar or comfortable. My Te does not kick into gear when presented with unfamiliar methods. That is why ENTJ advice never works for me, they usually encourage and push you to do hard work whether you know how to do it or not or pick up the most efficient method whether you've done it before or not and secretly my eyes just roll and just decide not to do that anyway. But ESTJ advice sounds like the obvious thing I've been putting off for too long lol. Like they just say 'Just do it the way it's always been done." and I'm like "Damnit yea I knew that, just never heard someone say it out loud before." It's a breath of fresh air really because you have all this evidence of how that method has worked before. I think inferior Se makes me very very uninterested in present day methods for doing things, I always think they will die off tomorrow. First it must pass the test of time THEN I will try it out.

I also notice that as an INFP I'm not very assertive until my Si is attacked then my Te comes out very harsh. For example coming home to a house that is EXTREMELY HOT! I get angry and abrasive, or if the house smells extremely bad I get very critical and abrasive. My roommate has seen this and it left him confused. If someone or something is distrubing my comfort I get accidentally abrasive if that's even a thing I speak sharply then realize "Whoa, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it like that." It's more of a defense mechanism.

I think I can't access my Te without going through Si, maybe the function stack order is ordered that way for a reason, in a way which the functions must be used, instead of us trying to skip Si development and go straight into Te.


I would like to understand my and INFP Te more because honestly I'm tired of beating myself up for not being Te in a world that seems very Te. If I can tell myself "Hey you just use Te differently." I think it would help take a load of expectation off my heart.
 

·
exploring space
ENFP
Joined
·
9,478 Posts
@Lizerd

Te is the little voice telling me I haven't done my best, or that I'm not good enough.

I also agree that it helps me do tasks more efficiently, exactly like you describe, with my comfort in mind. It also helps in making work tasks more efficient.

I can't think of a specific example of avoiding to do old things in new ways right now so I don't wanna comment on that. I feel it may be a 50-50 occurrence.

I can definitely relate with getting Te-angry when my comfort is disturbed too.

I also want to have control of my environment and shape it the way I want to. I hate when my room is messy but somehow it always is...

When I live with my INTP partner, I get frustrated many times with his obliviousness of how I want things done and him not doing them. It ends up being amusing, not serious, but the contrast between us is interesting. Especially how my way may not actually be the most efficient objectively but it satisfies me, which is something that he ofc points out and I'm like 'how dare you' and then after some thinking I may concede that he's right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
676 Posts
And my Te usually tries to avoid attempting new things. Like I will Te my way out of doing something new and difficult. Like if someone said "Hey try this new method to get this task done, it's much faster than the old way." My stupid self will go through the grueling work of getting the task done the old way (Si) because I dread trying to learn a new process for doing something I already know how to do, my logic says "It will take longer for me to learn the new way to get this done then to just stick to the old way." so my Te works hard to keep things familiar or comfortable.
I do this alot. I try to catch myself when I notice this insanity - usually It doesn't manifest in how to do things operably, but in regards to relationships.

My Te helps me get over my feelings. It works fast and it's usually direct and cold. I use it mostly when I have a goal in mind; it's my tunnel vision. Quite frankly, I love it. It's so exhausting though. It usually doesn't allow me to sleep properly because I am determined to do whatever task at hand. I feel robotic. It has its downside. I don't care for my friends at all if you're not apart of the equation or really helping in that moment I have dismissed you as an annoyance. I remember once when I was thinking intensely,someone disturbed me with their complete irrelevance to my train of thinking, and I snapped LOL. I followed her and apologized but in all honesty I meant it. I was just sorry that my accumulative feeling of annoyance showed...

Stress is another factor; my goals stress me out to be honest. Hopefully it will be worth it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: entheos and L P

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,915 Posts
@Lizerd, I’m not really an MBTI student but try using Te to support Ne and see if you like it better. In other words, when you are brainstorming, use your more analytical side to corral your own thinking and then make a plan to put the best ideas into action.

I spend a lot of time with thinker types and I ask myself what they would say and then mirror that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,915 Posts
I sort of forgot to make my point which is this: If you can learn to use your logic to serve your idealism (or in MBTI terms I guess use Te to serve Ne), then you can become your own trouble-shooter.

To think of it another way, Si is short hand for "tradition" and it's what many people do to save having to reinvent the wheel. We do what we do, well, because we did it before and it takes little mental energy. It's hard to think of "not doing." It's easier to think of "doing".

So if what you do now doesn't make you happy, don't think of stopping that (which you are doing now when you talk about using Te under Si). Just pick a new thing that is incompatible with the old thing and do that, and the old thing will fade without thinking about it. (Using Te to serve Ne).

I didn't get that trick from human psychology, I got it from animal behavior. Teaching a non-compatible behavior is the best way to extinguish an ingrained existing behavior.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,137 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
@Lizerd, I’m not really an MBTI student but try using Te to support Ne and see if you like it better. In other words, when you are brainstorming, use your more analytical side to corral your own thinking and then make a plan to put the best ideas into action.

I spend a lot of time with thinker types and I ask myself what they would say and then mirror that.
The problem with using Te to try and serve Ne for me anyway is, my Ne is like " Look at all these awesome possibilties!!!!!' And Te says, how in the world do we accomplish that in a way that works. Te will NOT move without a proven method to do things. My Te seeks to get the job done, not to experiment, Ne experiments, my Si though seeks past example of how the job has gotten done and then Te uses those methods to do things. Trust me I have tried and suffered trying to get Te to serve my Ne, that's really the reason behind me starting this thread, my Ne cries from not being able to do all the things it wants, because my Te says we need Si info. I'm trying to accept that that does not work for me at least and I want to stop trying to rewire myself in a way that does not work and start using what works which is my Te serving my Si.

I think Te serving Si can make for someone to be a great chef or interior designer, controller of comofort. I felt very extraverted with my Te saying my thoughts out loud when I took a friend out to eat where we had to grill our own food and I had been to the place at least 3 times and knew how to work the grill and how long the foods should cook. My Te had SO MUCH FUN! It was all over the place arranging the foods onto the grill, moving around the condiments for enough space for everything on the table, preparing the next meats to be put on the grill next while ordering the next batch of food for the table even though I had to take breaks from exhaustion of Te-ing so much. It was very fun to use Te without out any expectation or someone relying on you to be great a it. The great thing was that my Te kicked into gear naturally, it did not require major effort o my part, (I am a fan of the natural things that do not require much effort to be good at) this is probably due to having been the place enough times to know what I was doing. And I was communicating every thought I had in my head, like I was out of my head, even saying things that usually are uncomfortable for me to say, it was a fun time being able to explore Te like that.
 

·
Registered
My vehicle is INFP, 9w8. Vroom vroom!!
Joined
·
1,660 Posts
Te is something that if I cannot learn to control it well enough in like a year, it's going to run me out of teaching band.

My organization and grand planning are not confident skills of mine, and I really need those to accomplish anything. Ne can see all the stuff I need to accomplish and teach, but I can't quite Si + Te it into a curriculum of sorts. I've got the general direction, but it is so clunky to concrete-ize it and turn it into organized steps.

I wouldn't hire me in any position requiring competent leadership until I'm 30, but I'm doing my best. Te skills can be learned with practice and attention. If they couldn't, a lot of people wouldn't be able to drive a car or plan their day or understand the necessity of a calendar. It's just frustrating because it doesn't come naturally or quickly for me.

I bet I'm going to gain a lot of my missing Te skills this month, even. It will get better, and then I'll forget I even had a problem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,264 Posts
I'm going to put it very simply:

If Te contests your Fi in any shape or form above like 5% of the time... You are either not an INFP, or you fundamentally don't understand how one or both of those functions work.

The imbalance between a primary and inferior function is massive. On the contrary, as an ENFP, Fi and Te for myself are always in contest as my 2nd and 3rd functions.

If you consider Te as ANY sort of rival to your Fi in any way- you are probably just an ENFP. That is how extreme that contrast is.
 

·
exploring space
ENFP
Joined
·
9,478 Posts
I'm going to put it very simply:

If Te contests your Fi in any shape or form above like 5% of the time... You are either not an INFP, or you fundamentally don't understand how one or both of those functions work.

The imbalance between a primary and inferior function is massive. On the contrary, as an ENFP, Fi and Te for myself are always in contest as my 2nd and 3rd functions.

If you consider Te as ANY sort of rival to your Fi in any way- you are probably just an ENFP. That is how extreme that contrast is.
How does Te rival Fi in ENFPs and how do you measure the % of time it happens?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,137 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I'm going to put it very simply:

If Te contests your Fi in any shape or form above like 5% of the time... You are either not an INFP, or you fundamentally don't understand how one or both of those functions work.

The imbalance between a primary and inferior function is massive. On the contrary, as an ENFP, Fi and Te for myself are always in contest as my 2nd and 3rd functions.

If you consider Te as ANY sort of rival to your Fi in any way- you are probably just an ENFP. That is how extreme that contrast is.
My Te never rivals my Fi, I suck at Te and try to access it, but I cannot without Si info. If I do not have a proven method to do something I take no Te action to get things done, this is the cause of my procrastination, laziness, and unproductivity I wait til the very last minute before doing any Te because I'm too busy doing unimportant Si things like watching my favorite Tv show or playing a video game I always play just avoid using Te. And or eating icecream instead of doing my work because I don't know how to accomplish the task yet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,137 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Double Post:


I also want to add, they say INFPs aren't good at keeping routines. That is a lie in my own experience. I actually naturally fall into routine everyday, just not a productive routine but a routine of how I relax and wind down after work. And I end up doing that same routine to a fault, even when Te responsibilities are all around me unattended to. I get home set my favorite show on stream ready to buffer, turn on my game console to be ready after I watch my favorite show and set something up in the microwave to be eaten while I watch my show. Matter of fact I really don't like watching anything without eating food, that's another routine, must eat while watching entertainment. And this is like an auto pilot response, I'm not trying to do this, but if I go without thinking I realize I do this almost everytime.

And when it comes to food I usually just give in to routine, like when I order something to eat I usually order the same crap EVERY FREAKIN TIME. I'm guessing this is Si, but I usually don't get adventurous with food.

Actually if something happens outside of my lazy daily routine I completely forget unless it disrupts the routine. I have to use a rubber band system on my arm to remember things that aren't part of my routine for example I put my rubber band on a different wrist in order to remember I have an appointment today, and what happens is, I'll go about my day and look down and say why is my rubber band in a different spot, and that literally triggers the memory of my appointment. This is all because I am literally stuck in my lazy daily routine.

I think they same INFPs suck a routine because they are talking about a productive routine, sticking to a schedule to get work or responsibilities done.

The issue is that INFPS (I really mean me) think they suck at routine because we (me) beat ourselves up for not being able to create a routine around our Te. And that's unfair because how can you create a routine out of something that literally exhausts you, that sounds extremely tiresome, think about it we use Te as our last ditch effort because it requires so much energy and exhausts us too much and we try to create a routine out of that?! And beat ourselves up for not being able to do that.

I'm done with the Te worship and beating ourselves down for not being good at it. I think we (me) should learn how an INFP naturally access's Te instead of trying to short circuit our system with short cuts.

Someone mentioned we can learn Te skills, even that will be hard for INFPs because that requires Te, and when i hear that I feel a deep sense of disinterest fall upon me lol like "borrrrriiiiiiing."

My Te simply comes after Si I think it's wise to admit and realize that and use it accordingly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,208 Posts
Strategy, strategy, strategy. I will plan to do things as if I am a manager talking to myself as a subordinate.

I'm also a wannabe INTJ in the sense that I read some characteristic about how INTJs have dialogues in their heads between themselves and themselves commanding them.

"We need to get this done later today, make sure you check in with me on the status for this."

"Yeah, you could buy this but right now we need to stick to our plan of saving money and this isn't essential right now."

"Get out of bed. You can't rationalize getting another 20 minutes of sleep, no don't reset your alar- GET UP! GTFO BED!"

"You don't feel like doing it? Of course you don't, you CANNOT feel like doing it until you're actually doing it. So go do it, then you'll feel like it. Move your ass."

"Things are going as planned, this is good. Maybe we can track an extra variable to make sure things keep going smoothly."

No cutting corners, no half-assing responsibilities. Do it right by the standards and there will be no second guessing the outcome of the final quality. You have a problem with it? Too bad, either it's right or its rejected/restarted.

I usually know what's wrong with my work before I submit it. But sometimes I have to turn in subpar stuff due to time constraints and multiple responisbilities.

Back when I was a Sunday manager in retail, I left the store to buy everyone lunch while they continued to attend to customer service/checkout. I came back to witness customers in line on the other side of the store at a register that was meant to stay closed. My coworkers opened it to avoid staying at the main counter because they saw a mouse. Reminded me of the lady whose upper body and face you never see in old cartoons shrieking at mice and standing on footstools. In a bad way. I was pissed as FUCK.

This is not how the store was to be run, I was never contacted about the issue, customers are lined up in the wrong part of the store so customer service becomes difficult to execute without slowing down checkout times, I have to close an additional register which changes the store close process, and now finally my coworkers are avoiding the main register station where many products are located and nowhere else in the store, which customers wanted to peruse/purchase.

All of this is on camera and reflects poorly on my ability to manage the store. All my fault, entirely unexpected. Killed the stupid rodent and disposed of it, closed the extra register, and got the store under proper order again. Dtore owner was going to ream me about this since everything was captured on camera. Perhaps my disappointment in coworkers' responses, fear of being seen as incompetent, sudden anxiety, and shame at seeing so many discontented customers triggered me into lashing out at my coworkers. More of a grip situation perhaps.

Otherwise, my Te came through as the inability to get projrcts going through to completion due to a perfectionist mentality that's afraid to come across as anything less than perfect and competently in control.

My Te is a bit more developed now, but that's mainly habits from many Te-dom managers/supervisors, a Te-dom father, and practicing Te related skills over the last few years. It's likely not "developed" as a cognitive function that I have conscious control over.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
Couple things I relate from OP:

* to serve Si
* I build an efficient environment for comfort. (I don't do this only under stress tho. I do this every single day, it's like a full lifestyle)

I don't use Te exclusively under stress, also when I'm calm and normal. But it's true that when I'm stressed, I become a Te tasmanian devil.
But! at the same time while I'm being tasmanian devil I experience HUUUUGE anxiety, I spend my days literally physically shaking, and sleepless, I stop eating cause I can't stomach anything, I'm on edge, terrified that I'm going to have a heart attack.
So it's weird that while Te is trying to relieve my stress, in the process it makes things worse, only to come out relatively okay on the other end. It's like they say Things get worse before they get better.

So it's not: Stress ---> Immediate Fix ---> Calm.
It's: Stress ---> Get into Fix mode (process) ---> Make things even worse/Stress quadruples ---> Tangible Outcome ---> Calm.

This quadrupled anxiety is:
1. Leaving Si to an extent and entering unexplored territories/ideas.
2. Like Red Panda said, I keep telling myself while in Te mode that I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, and I keep drilling my own skull with negative talk and Ne possibilities of everthing-that-could-go-wrong, and I keep feeling so uncomfortable outside of safe Si. If I was using Te exclusively for Si-proved methods, then I wouldn't tell myself horror stories of not-good-enough-ness, because I would know that 'this shit works so I'm safe'. So I do use Te to leave my comfort zone (Ne) when necessary, but this comes with a prize: potential nervous breakdown.
And yet, despite the negativity/anxiety, I keep going with a bizarre glimpse of hope in the horizon.

So I do try new methods when somebody advices, but!!! I need to do tooooooons of research prior to applying what I'm told. So for example OP mentioned ENTJ advice, I cannot for the life of me just take someone's advice at face value and 'just do the method' because I don't fucking understand the method! I need to undertand how it works deep down, I need to understand its structure and its psychology before I can apply anything. So when given advice, I don't go into action, I go into research. While I research, I keep doing my old method that Si knows. Then there comes a point where I have understood the structure of a method, and then I can see how to attempt to do it. And that's when I think "Okay I'm ready to try this thing" and go into action (with anxiety cause it's not backed up by Si). It seems very Ti, my aproach. I cannot function until I understand the totality of it at a deep level.

Other stuff that comes to mind:
* Socializing. I look like a J to a lot of people because I keep a tight grip of my social interactions. I need to know in advance who I'm hanging out with, and at what time, and at what place, and for what reason. I need to know as many details as possible, and I need to know the plan.
If someone cancels last minute, I get sooooo angry that my plan is shattered that I throw a fit inside my head. For this same reason, I never ever cancel plans with anybody (empathy), unless I'm hospitalized or having a legit nervous breakdown.
* Work related tasks, and school tasks. I just get them done easy peasy because I simply get into "work mode". I can sit on a stiff chair in a grey room without windows, and I won't notice my physical discomfort, because when I'm in work mode, I just am. This also applies to random tasks I don't want to do but must get done. Like painting my father's house, updating my cv, applying to jobs, and other activities that are meaningless to me. I have a switch in my brain, and whenever I need to turn it on, I take a deep breath, pat myself in the back, close my eyes and access that mental switch. It's relatively easy to do now because I've been practicing for a decade. It does need conscious effort to access it, it's not at all natural for me and there's an element of pain before I switch. But once the switch is made, I'm too busy acting and being in the present moment, so there's no opportunity to access my feelings.
* I'm super militant with how I like things done and organized. In job scenarios, I've had to train myself to calm down and let people do the shit they do. However, at home I'm a bit of a sargent with my ideas and methods. Whenever I saw my partners cook with the wrong pan, wipe their hands with the wrong towel, put objects in the wrong order, leave things in the sink instead of the dishwasher, etc etc I would get soooo angry that I would push them to the side and go "Let me do this. You don't know how to do this best in the most effective way possible, leave it to me" and I would constantly get on their nerves because I wouldn't let them do anything. At the same time, they would get on my nerves because over time I would think "My partner is the dumbest, slowest, most inconvenient creature in existence and I don't know if I can put up with such stupidity" (I realise I sound crazy xD). I told my mom about my uncontrollable rage for my partners in this department, and she told me that I needed to let them do things their way. I trained myself to calm down, but I found that the only way for me to calm down was to physically remove myself from partners' presence when they were cooking or organizing things. I literally cannot witness such disaster and not take over or get angry. So I choose not to be exposed to it. Ignorance is bliss.
* My Te is also present in scenarios of conversations with friends and family. I listen to them, analyse their situation with Ne, Si, Fi, and so on... and ultimately I give them a Te response. "If u want this outcome, do This. If you want that outcome, do That" "Stop doing that, do this thing instead". Similar to any direct/tangible advice I might give to ppl on PerC. I'm also blunt when expressing my opinions.

I relate to the following 100% from tryingtodobetter:

I don't care for my friends at all if you're not apart of the equation or really helping in that moment I have dismissed you as an annoyance.


I keep acquaintances in my life purely for the purpose of using them as tools to help me achieve things.
 
  • Like
Reactions: UberY0shi

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,137 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Couple things I relate from OP:

* to serve Si
* I build an efficient environment for comfort. (I don't do this only under stress tho. I do this every single day, it's like a full lifestyle)

I don't use Te exclusively under stress, also when I'm calm and normal. But it's true that when I'm stressed, I become a Te tasmanian devil.
But! at the same time while I'm being tasmanian devil I experience HUUUUGE anxiety, I spend my days literally physically shaking, and sleepless, I stop eating cause I can't stomach anything, I'm on edge, terrified that I'm going to have a heart attack.
So it's weird that while Te is trying to relieve my stress, in the process it makes things worse, only to come out relatively okay on the other end. It's like they say Things get worse before they get better.

So it's not: Stress ---> Immediate Fix ---> Calm.
It's: Stress ---> Get into Fix mode (process) ---> Make things even worse/Stress quadruples ---> Tangible Outcome ---> Calm.

This quadrupled anxiety is:
1. Leaving Si to an extent and entering unexplored territories/ideas.
2. Like Red Panda said, I keep telling myself while in Te mode that I'm not good enough, I'm not doing enough, and I keep drilling my own skull with negative talk and Ne possibilities of everthing-that-could-go-wrong, and I keep feeling so uncomfortable outside of safe Si. If I was using Te exclusively for Si-proved methods, then I wouldn't tell myself horror stories of not-good-enough-ness, because I would know that 'this shit works so I'm safe'. So I do use Te to leave my comfort zone (Ne) when necessary, but this comes with a prize: potential nervous breakdown.
And yet, despite the negativity/anxiety, I keep going with a bizarre glimpse of hope in the horizon.

So I do try new methods when somebody advices, but!!! I need to do tooooooons of research prior to applying what I'm told. So for example OP mentioned ENTJ advice, I cannot for the life of me just take someone's advice at face value and 'just do the method' because I don't fucking understand the method! I need to undertand how it works deep down, I need to understand its structure and its psychology before I can apply anything. So when given advice, I don't go into action, I go into research. While I research, I keep doing my old method that Si knows. Then there comes a point where I have understood the structure of a method, and then I can see how to attempt to do it. And that's when I think "Okay I'm ready to try this thing" and go into action (with anxiety cause it's not backed up by Si). It seems very Ti, my aproach. I cannot function until I understand the totality of it at a deep level.

Other stuff that comes to mind:
* Socializing. I look like a J to a lot of people because I keep a tight grip of my social interactions. I need to know in advance who I'm hanging out with, and at what time, and at what place, and for what reason. I need to know as many details as possible, and I need to know the plan.
If someone cancels last minute, I get sooooo angry that my plan is shattered that I throw a fit inside my head. For this same reason, I never ever cancel plans with anybody (empathy), unless I'm hospitalized or having a legit nervous breakdown.
* Work related tasks, and school tasks. I just get them done easy peasy because I simply get into "work mode". I can sit on a stiff chair in a grey room without windows, and I won't notice my physical discomfort, because when I'm in work mode, I just am. This also applies to random tasks I don't want to do but must get done. Like painting my father's house, updating my cv, applying to jobs, and other activities that are meaningless to me. I have a switch in my brain, and whenever I need to turn it on, I take a deep breath, pat myself in the back, close my eyes and access that mental switch. It's relatively easy to do now because I've been practicing for a decade. It does need conscious effort to access it, it's not at all natural for me and there's an element of pain before I switch. But once the switch is made, I'm too busy acting and being in the present moment, so there's no opportunity to access my feelings.
* I'm super militant with how I like things done and organized. In job scenarios, I've had to train myself to calm down and let people do the shit they do. However, at home I'm a bit of a sargent with my ideas and methods. Whenever I saw my partners cook with the wrong pan, wipe their hands with the wrong towel, put objects in the wrong order, leave things in the sink instead of the dishwasher, etc etc I would get soooo angry that I would push them to the side and go "Let me do this. You don't know how to do this best in the most effective way possible, leave it to me" and I would constantly get on their nerves because I wouldn't let them do anything. At the same time, they would get on my nerves because over time I would think "My partner is the dumbest, slowest, most inconvenient creature in existence and I don't know if I can put up with such stupidity" (I realise I sound crazy xD). I told my mom about my uncontrollable rage for my partners in this department, and she told me that I needed to let them do things their way. I trained myself to calm down, but I found that the only way for me to calm down was to physically remove myself from partners' presence when they were cooking or organizing things. I literally cannot witness such disaster and not take over or get angry. So I choose not to be exposed to it. Ignorance is bliss.
* My Te is also present in scenarios of conversations with friends and family. I listen to them, analyse their situation with Ne, Si, Fi, and so on... and ultimately I give them a Te response. "If u want this outcome, do This. If you want that outcome, do That" "Stop doing that, do this thing instead". Similar to any direct/tangible advice I might give to ppl on PerC. I'm also blunt when expressing my opinions.

I relate to the following 100% from tryingtodobetter:



I keep acquaintances in my life purely for the purpose of using them as tools to help me achieve things.
I relate to the things I've bolded.

Everything just feels calm and relaxing and under control when Si knows what the hell is going on, like I can count on the process and he outcome because this thing has happened 1000s of times before. It's just those first steps that are rough but once your over that hump experience, confidence and competance lie on the other side and all is well with the world.



What I bolded In blue, I believe that's Te enforcing Si saying: "Do this the right way ( and the right way is technically the way you have done it in the past countless times)". I think your partner unknowlingly violates your Si and your Te comes to assert your Si wants.

This has happened to me in other ways but still Si nonetheless. I have noticed I get angry or my tone of voice gets more forceful if I have eaten food and am full to the point of pain and someone asks me "Do you want more food." Before I can even catch myself I say "NO!" and I immediately think in my head "geez, why did I react so strongly?" but's it feels like I'm not yelling at the person but trying to protect myself from experiencing more pain. My Si is threatened with pain and Te comes to the rescue asserting the Si wants.

I have also noticed this at a church I went to once, I heard the choir singing a song I have heard 1000 times and they sung it very differently and a way I did not like, and I had this desire to grab the mic and sing the song the RIGHT way, even though I cannot sing lol I just wanted my ears to hear the song the way I've heard it before and correct the "errors" they were making.

So I think INFPs can be confident and assert themselves especially when Si is threatened, but then again I am creating this theory based off my own experience so I'd just like to see if others agree or do not agree. I want to figure the pattern so I can summon that assertive side at will and not for unimportant things lol.

In short I think Si is important to Te development.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,734 Posts
What I bolded In blue, I believe that's Te enforcing Si saying: "Do this the right way ( and the right way is technically the way you have done it in the past countless times)". I think your partner unknowlingly violates your Si and your Te comes to assert your Si wants.
Exactly :)
I didn't break down where Te comes from in the last paragraph cause I wanted to keep it short lol But that's exactly what it is.

I have also noticed this at a church I went to once, I heard the choir singing a song I have heard 1000 times and they sung it very differently and a way I did not like, and I had this desire to grab the mic and sing the song the RIGHT way
ahahahahaha omg I know what u mean xD
 
  • Like
Reactions: L P
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top