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Somewhere in childhood I had a thought. "I'm going to read everything and be a genius and say amazing things all the time."

It took another 20 years for me to tell myself to shut the hell up.

In all that time everything was an estimation of value. Except me - I valued myself on how much I felt other people valued me. I was an estimation of an estimation. I developed good manners, politeness, sincerity, empathy. Every aspect of my young personality was shaped by little psychoses. A violent father made me tip-toe, and all of the little behaviors were as such: a defense against a violent world. If you make waves, you might drown.

I wanted to believe that I was inherently good-mannered, polite, sincere, and empathetic. But maybe I just wanted to remain invisible for a while. Heart of glass. I made sure I got good grades, but I never tried for great grades. I avoided loudness in other people.

Then a kid decided to bully me. Then another kid punched him in the face for bullying me. In that moment I decided to be justice incarnate and grow up to be a superhero. Never happened, but I did gather the courage to fight back when other kids were bullied. That kid became my best friend for most of my life.

Somewhere in there I picked up the guitar, and realized I literally sounded like an idiot every time I talked to girls.

Got really good at guitar, but even today I get all stupid when I start talking to women I don't know. Sometimes it works out though.
I believe the "problem" with talking to girls started early in the childhood. I didn't have a violent father and have never been bullied, cuz I myself was someone who did "bully" my classmates)) but we all had fun, without hurting each other... But... somehow I can relate myself to the childhood stories of INFJs, maybe thats why I feel some kind of attraction towards INFJs...
 

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I was super introverted and until I turned 20 childhood was the last time I was way smarter and more focused than my peers. Now in my early 20s I am reigniting my potential following a difficult teenage. Coincidentally many of my childhood hobbies and passions have made a bit of a comeback in my life in the past couple of years. So the positive side of childhood was that it made me curious, contemplative and intelligent. Also even though I was so different to all the other kids I had so much fun just being in my inner world.

In childhood I had to deal with a lot of physical corporal punishment from the teachers at school and also at home from my parents. I remember getting hit by the teacher in first grade at least two or three times a week because I had shitty handwriting. Also I had to deal with immigrating and assimilating into a society where children are treated entirely differently to where I had grown up. So I would say the negative part of my childhood was that it has made me today averse to confrontation and made me into a people-pleaser.
 

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As a kid I was pretty shy and sensitive, but very curious. I was one of those kids obsessed by documentaries and learning new stuff about animals and damn I loved learning about space haha. Besides that I had only few friends who were pretty popular and I often wouldn't spend time with them. Firts 4 grades I was great student even though I never studied stuff. In higher grades when I had to study I didn't cause I didn't develop a habit to do it so my marks droped pretty much sadly. I didn't really fall in love before I was 18 haha
 

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Ni made me a quiet rebel. And Fe messed with me. I didn't want the underdogs to be left behind. Ti laid quiet until my rebel said enough. Se silently fed Ni; even though I picked up on this (always wanting to be busy by myself with the out side world); I just didn't know what this was back then. Introversion all over the place eh.
^^ This could not be a better description. Perfect!


As Dalien said, I was a silent rebel. Cheeky, to the right people. Full of smiles, adored pretend games and laying in the sun. Distinctly average student, though I had the brains to excel, I was never pushed. I lived hidden in plain sight, as I still do now. Books, my dog, and my sister Sophie were my favorite. I was an absolute mummy's girl until I grew up and realised she changed. I lived my teenage years, all the way until the present and into the future, in awe of my dad.

I grew up with an incredibly moral and strong INTJ dad and a very abstract, vibrant INFP mum. I find myself a strange mix of the two.
 
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I was the resident AAA+ encyclopaedia/dictionary throughout my childhood. Then I hit adulthood, and they went and invented Wikipedia.

Those were the days, my friend.
 

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I was born the eldest child of a cabinetmaker and a trainee nurse who came, literally, from different sides of the tracks. Dad was from the north of the city, his father worked in a refinery but died from consumptive heart disease before his time. Mum was a middle of seven children who were raised in suburbs that sprung up around the port in the 1940s and 50s.

The days of my childhood were marked by the endless rhythm of the seasons - cool winters and blistering hot summers in which we would go to the beach and run barefoot across the sand to avoid burning the soles of our feet. On hot afternoons we'd sit under the jetty and drink Coca Cola and eat ice cream as it melted and dripped around our fingers while parents warned against getting in the water because of sharks. I never believed them about the sharks, but sure enough they were out there. News of attacks were rare, but Great White sightings were common.

I was schooled at the local primary school, which was made up of about 200 other working class kids from a variety of different social backgrounds, some of them better off than me, most of them not. I was a quiet and shy kid who was always lost in a world of my own, forever struggling to work things out. I read a lot, mostly non-fiction. It seemed to me that people who knew a lot of facts were somehow more than I was. Not in the sense of being more powerful or influential, more important perhaps. More real. So I devoured books on science, the environment, natural history, general history, philosophy, psychology, religion. As a teen, I would spend just about every weekend chasing answers in library books while my peers were at parties and getting high. It was an insatiable quest to bring everything that I could determine from books into my personal philosophy.

By the time I was in high school, I was somewhat more comfortable socialising with others. Slightly. I had friends but I never really felt an integral part of any of the groups I moved in and out of. I was accepted by all of them to a degree, but I was never invited to the parties. I got good grades but kept it under the covers so that others didn't work me out as a 'nerd'. I didn't really study as such. I believe that my good grades came mostly from my wide reading and a memory that seemed to remember not facts but associations between facts in a sort of nebulous web of knowing.

I could go on. This is a subject I know well. But I have work to do.
 

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I was a rebel without a cause...well I had a cause. It's called adventure. I haven't changed.
 

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Hey I'll lube this thread right up here goes

I was born in a blizzard hurricane. The doctors declared me legally a deaf mute. With much practices and learningsings, i learned how to practice and eventually I could speak. The first time I spoke I recounted the entire encyclopedia Britannica verbatim from memory, although I had never read it, as I couldn't read. I was a child.

Growing up i was a prodigy. I knew how to do the maths. I could play the music's. I was something of a marvel in my local community and they subsequently awarded me the key to the city. They knew that I was a big fish, so to speak, and so my life wanderings began.

I traveled to Akbar, a local restaurant in Garden, New York. While I was dining on luxurious clams casino and imitation crab lobster rolls, the owner came up to me and told me I couldnt eat there for free and that I had to leave or he was calling the cops.

The journey continued to the big apple itself where I met the love of my life while sleeping on a bench near strawberry fields. She was taking photos with her friends nearby, her black hair flowing darkly in the wind. I caught a waft of her deeply rich scent and was overcome with its deepness and richness. I immediately rose to greet her. I began to ask her hand in marriage whereupon she recoiled with a howl and said "oh my god!!!! Dont you touch me!" My lion Queen. She would not be tamed.

I was on to my next adventure. I was bathed in beautiful glimmering jewelry on my wrists, ankles and waist. They gleamed and shone under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the jail. And they hurt my wrists, also.

To be continued....
I felt compelled to read it out loud to my INTJ and from the first line it was clearly inferred that I use Brad Pitts accent from Inglourious Basterds.

Fantastica!
 

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much to my horror, a teacher once said in class, that if her class he been full me duplicates of me, it would be the most calm and hardworking class she'd ever had. if you are a teacher and you are reading this - don't ever even contemplate saying a thing like that about a pupil in class.

in highschool, i was nicknamed The Walking Encyclopedia.

i was bullied for a while, until i learned how to scare the kids, and then they backed off.

i would always fight with my brother when i was a kid, but now, we get along great and we share many interests.

my parents neither understood nor saw me, and if they did, the never let on. that hasn't changed until today.
 

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Also, to gasps of shock and horror, I used to be religious as a kid. I feel like I'm admitting a dirty little secret with that one!
 

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much to my horror, a teacher once said in class, that if her class he been full me duplicates of me, it would be the most calm and hardworking class she'd ever had. if you are a teacher and you are reading this - don't ever even contemplate saying a thing like that about a pupil in class.
Oh my gosh, I had a teacher say the exact same thing about me, but luckily it wasn't in front of everyone. :blushed: Yikes.
 
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