I believe the "problem" with talking to girls started early in the childhood. I didn't have a violent father and have never been bullied, cuz I myself was someone who did "bully" my classmates)) but we all had fun, without hurting each other... But... somehow I can relate myself to the childhood stories of INFJs, maybe thats why I feel some kind of attraction towards INFJs...Somewhere in childhood I had a thought. "I'm going to read everything and be a genius and say amazing things all the time."
It took another 20 years for me to tell myself to shut the hell up.
In all that time everything was an estimation of value. Except me - I valued myself on how much I felt other people valued me. I was an estimation of an estimation. I developed good manners, politeness, sincerity, empathy. Every aspect of my young personality was shaped by little psychoses. A violent father made me tip-toe, and all of the little behaviors were as such: a defense against a violent world. If you make waves, you might drown.
I wanted to believe that I was inherently good-mannered, polite, sincere, and empathetic. But maybe I just wanted to remain invisible for a while. Heart of glass. I made sure I got good grades, but I never tried for great grades. I avoided loudness in other people.
Then a kid decided to bully me. Then another kid punched him in the face for bullying me. In that moment I decided to be justice incarnate and grow up to be a superhero. Never happened, but I did gather the courage to fight back when other kids were bullied. That kid became my best friend for most of my life.
Somewhere in there I picked up the guitar, and realized I literally sounded like an idiot every time I talked to girls.
Got really good at guitar, but even today I get all stupid when I start talking to women I don't know. Sometimes it works out though.