First off, I do not experience empathy, nor do I show it to others. I believe there was a time I did, but it was a long time ago. I do not remember the exact reasoning why I stopped, but it was based on something toxic. I've lost a lot of friendships to this, people assumed I was acting out of my ego, regardless of if I actually was or not. In my own research on communicating with people and other people singling me out as of late, I keep seeing the trait refered to as empathy. I started mimicking it, flat out lieing to test the water. It works, for whatever reason.
Could someone enlighten me with examples?
I do not know if this is related to a mental disorder in my head. I am an OCD sufferer, and supposedly OCD sufferers have issues with the chemical serotonin. As I gather, empathy is related to serotonin.
ZC Carbon, no matter what others may say, empathy is an important trait for any MBTI type to develop. It's a strange notion to think that because someone fits a certain MBTI type that somehow they have no need to develop certain socially and personally-advantageous traits.
Empathy is one of the most important parts of both love and trust. When you can empathize with someone, they are more likely to trust you, because you show a capacity to understand who they are and what they are experiencing. Because of that, groundwork is laid for love, whether friendship love or relationship love.
To develop empathy, try this: think of some things in your life that have caused you serious pain, and narrow it to one particular example that stands out to you. Now, think of what it was like to go through that; the pain, the confusion, fear, or whatever was involved. As you think of this, consider how others experience pain just like you do...the hurt you've felt, others have to go through that, too. After this, visualize someone in the same situation as you. See the same feelings of hurt that you experienced being experienced by this person as you visualize, and think about how you are relating to this person because of it.
You are both human, you both know hurt, and neither of you wants to hurt. Consider how when you are experiencing pain or difficulty and someone else understands you or what you are going through, how that helps bolster your spirit and reduce the pain sometimes (unless you have barriers that you shun people with). Think about how you appreciate that, and then think about how you could appreciate giving that experience to others.
In the real world, when you see someone that is, for example, being cut down by someone else's words, think about how those words would affect you if they were directed at you. Recognizing those feelings is a part of the empathy. But the most important part of empathy is to give it. With the person who is being cut down, if you were to stand up for them and point out their merit and the malefactor's error, your defense of the victim communicates to them that you care and that you understand. And if you were to tell them that you know what it's like to have people being rude and critiical, and tell them not to let it get them down, you are communicating empathy.
Ultimately, empathy requires a person to take their concern away from self and to put it toward others. What enables that is partly your personal experience that helps you relate, but to turn it into a selfless empathy for others requires choice, will power. If you feel like you are lacking concern for others, petition God, who is the source of selflessness and love. Our natural instinct is self-preservation, and we support our clan only if by doing so it helps support or bolster us. Empathy with pure and unselfish motives is not of ourselves, and it takes time for
anyone to empathize in a truly selfless way. We start off with mixed motives, but with the persistence and cooperation with the influence of divine help, I believe we begin to experience true selflessness. Please allow me to tell you why I believe this. God can empathize with us, Christ, who is the physical form of God, came to the earth to experience everything human suffers with, including death, except without disobedience. So in the Bible there is a verse that shines with empathy, and is a pattern to strive for. Hebrews 4:14-16 -
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
