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Me, the joke is me ;)

Shalom :) I've been going back and fourth from 3 to 1 ever since I found out about Enneagram, and I really want to end this already! I've matured a lot during the last two years so I'm ready to try again.

Also trying @Nissa Nissa's new questionnaire as I didn't try it before :) It's very important to me to understand my Enneagram because I'm finishing my army service next year and I'm starting to think of majors for university and I think this could help me focus. I cut a few of the questions because I'm really tired and I felt like I had no concrete, helpful answer to them so it's a bit shorter.

1. How would an author describe you in a book? Write the paragraph that would introduce you in a novel.

Despite her constant withdrawal from her fellow colleagues, she was as kind as one can get; always with a smile on her face, pleasant and proper. She cared about working hard and doing everything she can in the right way, yet despite her undeniable politeness, it wasn't a coincidence she had such a tall body frame – it was that she could lift up her nose and look at everyone from above. She wasn't arrogant for the sake of it; she was simply a princess, trying to interact with the common folks.

2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
b. Why did it bother me?
c. How did I react?
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?


So a part of my service in the hospital is to take people's (soldiers, as they're the people we handle) medical documents and re-type them on an army computer, to make our doctor's work much more fast and efficient (this way she can get to more patients). With me there's another girl, and while we usually type down only the ones summarizing people's hospitalization, if there's patients who are more complicated (usually cancer patients) and only went for a checkup (usually these documents the other girls should type, and not us), I will type the thing as well to make things faster, and the girl who's in charge of these people asked me to do so because it is so much help to her, so I do because I know how important it is. And today I wasn't in charge on typing (I was doing a different kind of work- we and the other girl usually do one day as one role then switch), and there were almost no documents to type (and I even took some of them to work on because I was bored and I wanted these people to get their treatment), but there was a check up of a cancer patient that came along and my officer asked us to type this because it's important, so I asked the other girl to work on it, and she refused, because it's not her job, despite her literally doing nothing at all and the boss asking us to do so.

a. A mix of laziness (you're doing nothing at all, can't you do this very simple thing even if I helped you with your work??) and selfishness (it is our job if we're asked to do it, besides it will be so much help to the other girls, to this guy who needs fast medical treatment and me, who will type this if you won’t).
b. See above.
c. I tried to argue, but after I saw it was starting to become a fight I let it go and did it myself.
d. I should've stood up for myself and told her to do her damn job.
e. I don't like fighting, and I figured I'll probably do it better than her anyway.

3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?

I guess my army service, because it keeps me from doing things I really want to do, and not go to the hospital all day, sit in an office with no windows working 8-5 while it takes me an hour to get there and an hour to return. I would probably be attending university right now, having an actual job and receive real payment for it. I don't know, begin my adult life.

4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?

Hypothetically I guess I'd try to avoid the subject and feel really embarrassed but it's hard for me to even think about it because I keep no secrets- I think about a deepest secret and nothing comes out. If we're talking about personality flaws that I don't like about myself- I'm willing to admit them and work on them, it's all good.

5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

Not the water from the Fountain of Life, for sure. I don't want to live forever while everyone around me dies. I don't want a crown either- I don't want world domination, that's too much responsibility for me. I'd probably choose the last one, because family is one of my most important values and I know the latter will guarantee me happiness and self fulfillment; if there's one thing I know I want in my life, is to have a loving, happy family.

6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

Very easily the last one.

For the first- I don't have energy to manage a household, arrange parties, blah blah blah. I don't like to have a large circle of friends and I don't want to live in the big city, too much noise.

Second- designing my house is like a dream, but I want to be a part of a community, and it sucks not having anyone allowed to visit. I do like to have people around for chill events.

Third- first of all, I'm very aesthetically minded, so I'm sure I can make this dull house something neat! Also, no dangers? You got me there! If I can shelter my family from everything bad I'll be happy. Also, I can sell the house and double it in twenty years! That's a great investment.

7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

Not the first one, I'm kind of low energy at times and I don't care about the rewards. Second one is cool, because there is so much to do and learn! I love travelling and learning new things so this will be fun! I will be considering the last one, as I like my peace and quietness, but I also know I like my physical comfort and I'm kinda spoiled in all honesty, so this will turn things off for me. I'd choose the second one!

8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.

I don't really know because I'm a pretty understood person, I guess- but I want people to realize that sometimes I do more work because I like it. Sometimes my officer and the doctor I work with don't understand why I'm taking all the work and letting the other girl I work with do nothing. They see the unfairness and to be honest it can be annoying, but most of the times if I'm not keeping myself busy, I'm going to feel useless. If I see something to do, especially when it my job it's about people's medical treatment who need it as soon as possible, I'm going to make things going, even if it's unfair to me. Besides, I don't like feeling unproductive and sit around all day doing nothing.

9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?

I remember one time someone mentioned that I'm a stuck up in front of everyone in full seriousness and I was pretty much caught off guard. I kinda do think I'm a little above everyone. It's like, I'm very nice and helpful but other than my good will, which I do have, some of it comes from feeling superior, like I'm helping the less fortunate. It sounds bad but it's a bit true.

10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?

For me, I think being seen as careless while I do care. I remember when I first started I worked in the reception area, and it was so draining for me because I really do cared, and I worked so hard on every person who came along, and still overall people think you don't care because what they want is above my authority or just can't be done. I always take it to heart. But in my personal life, I assume I kinda come across as more caring than I actually am. But I don't know, I am pretty caring, I'd like to think it's authentic or at least pretty equal.

11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?

My officer wanted me to stay in the reception area while I wanted to work in the doctor's office, so my friend fought my battles for me, and I pretty much went to his office all the time and whined about being miserable and saying how good I am in the other job and asking him to let me go there already. Eventually he said yes and I do kickass, he does not regret it!

12. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?

I'm generally in a great place in my life right now, but I guess last night I was really happy. My boyfriend took me to see a game of his favorite basketball team and it was so wonderful; first, I was with him, and I'm pretty sure he's the love of my life. If he cared enough to take me with him, explain to me all the rules of the game patiently and be appreciative of the fact I came along, he must really love me. Second, I loved the atmosphere! So many people cheering for the same group, wearing the same color and being so passionate about something really made me emotional, in a good way. I liked being a part of it.

13. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?

Hehe, probably the fact I'm too nice. I'd say thanks so much I'd blubber myself to death, or if we're actually thinking of tragedy, perhaps sacrificing myself for the greater good or my loved ones. Or, actually, overworking myself to death. I tend to take on lots of responsibilities and I'm not always capable.

If I was in a comedy, hmm… Maybe my distinguishing trait would be the same as the former, being overly nice and polite. Or, alternatively, being too rigid and following the rules to an extreme extent- I'm like the nerdiest person you'll meet. Pretty sure most people would agree!

14.
a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
b. Describe your ideal self.


a. This very entitled girl who gets angry at the facts her needs are never met, that is too rigid and controlling she can never have fun, and will never speak ill of you when you're around, but do so behind your back constantly.

b. Someone who's fundamentally good, who's always helpful, diligent and responsible. Not out of a motive or a person gain, simply because they want to do good in this world. To be a ray of sunshine in a dark place.

15. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
a. loneliness
b. doubt
c. boredom
d. laziness
e. temper


a. I don't really feel alone and lonely ever. If I feel alone and lonely I will find someone to talk to, or entertain myself (I have a colorful mind, I'm never bored with myself!).

b. I ask people for affirmation when I feel doubtful. Consult, ask for opinion, whatever. I feel doubt when I'm pressured, or when I'm not experienced enough and unsure of my abilities.

c. I find myself something to do – I have many hobbies for this exact reason. I indulge in the physical world mostly. I play musical instruments, watch TV, meet with friends/boyfriend, go out for a walk, draw stuff, read whatever comes to mind, listen to music.

d. I need one lazy day in a week because I'm always so busy! Usually I don’t deal with laziness, because I'm super hard working. In other people it drives me mad.

e. I control my temper. I know if I lose it, it can cause conflict and it stresses me out. It interrupts my peace and my relationships with people. However, at times I do lose it when I've had enough.

16. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.

As you probably guessed I relate least to sloth. I can't sit still if I know there's work to be done and if I have a relaxed moment I always wait for something to come up so I'll have some stuff to do. Though now that I think about it, maybe I relate least to wrath as I repress my anger, never fully express it unless being passive aggressive counts. So there's that.

I think I relate most to pride, because I can be pretty arrogant and annoyingly proud of myself and the good work I do sometimes. I pride myself on many things and perhaps I overestimate myself (though honestly I'll never let anyone know how much I appreciate myself, so shh).

17. Link a song you relate to and explain why.

To a letter extent at this point of life but:


This was my jam on 8th grade. I felt really insecure of myself and quite socially lost but I still maintained excellent grades and acted as if it was all good to avoid confrontation. I really felt like I was putting on a show.
"Perfect by nature, icons of self indulgence…" That's kinda me. I am this very Little Ms. Perfect in a way, nice and responsible, "… Have you no shame don't you see me, you know you've got everybody fooled…" I felt like my true feelings are being ignored. But I feel like most of all I related to:
"… Look here she comes now, bow down and stare in wonder. Oh, how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending…."
I was and am always very appreciated for who I am and I do like it, but sometimes I feel like I'm a phony, that I don't deserve all the praise and back then it was much more dramatic…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, if anyone can help me, I'd be thankful! Also I'm debating between ESFJ and ISFJ so if anyone sensed anything there feel free to give your input ;)

Tagging @Paradigm @charlie.elliot @drmiller100@Nissa Nissa (again in this post lmao) because I noticed them around the forum giving great responses but you guys aren't obligated to answer, and I'd love to hear more responses! Thank you in advance.
 

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@Adena hey long time no see (I'm Oswin/Beauty Like the Night/don't remember my username last time we chatted)

My initial thought is 3w2 but I'll go over it in more detail later
 
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@Adena,

Hi! :)

Why do you doubt being a 2? Reading your answers, I would totally agree with your current typing: 2w1 so/sp. Though I will come back after I read it more carefully these days. And I'd say you're an extrovert. You're so very different from me, it's as if we come from another planets (I'm a lazy bummer), and yet I find something about you very endearing. I hope you don't mind me saying that. :)
 

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@Adena hey long time no see (I'm Oswin/Beauty Like the Night/don't remember my username last time we chatted)

My initial thought is 3w2 but I'll go over it in more detail later
Oh hey! Glad to see you again :D (I think it was Joy In The Dance or something like that). I'm also glad to see you find your typing, it suits you from what I recall.

And I remember 3w2 was one of the types I related most to, but I don't think I have this very great drive to succeed. When I think about my future I mostly see like, having a family, a quiet life, being present at home as much as I can while working in something I enjoy. Nothing crazily ambitious. I'm not competitive and I don't know, I'm not really feeling it lately. I feel as I'm not dominant or "socially strong" enough to be a 3w2, who are always super charming and I'm less so, I'm quite rigid in my appearance and behavior.

@Adena,

Hi! :)

Why do you doubt being a 2? Reading your answers, I would totally agree with your current typing: 2w1 so/sp. Though I will come back after I read it more carefully these days. And I'd say you're an extrovert. You're so very different from me, it's as if we come from another planets (I'm a lazy bummer), and yet I find something about you very endearing. I hope you don't mind me saying that. :)
2 is more of a temporary typing for me at the moment, it might be true because that's how I feel right now but I might got it all wrong.

Well, I'm not too sure, to be honest. But something about 2 seems a bit weird to me, though I always related to it and considered it to be one of my wings (I went back and fourth from 1 to 3). Could be an extrovert, though I'm always off in my own world and I enjoy being alone too much I doubt I'm an extrovert. But hey, it's about the functions, right? ;) And I guess I'm a bit endearing hahaha, you can say anything it's all good! It is a personality typing thread after all :)
 

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Shot in the dark here. INFJ?
 
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@Adena Hmm maybe 1w2 or 2w1, and ESFJ? I usually don't attempt to type people via questionnaires because I can't actually see the person in real life and get to know their vibes. But, that's my best guess.
That's kinda what I'm wondering between, 1 or 2 (and maybe 3). Yeah, that's the suckish thing about questionnaires.
Thank you anyway!
 

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2, 2 or 2. maybe a 2w1 or a 2w3.

I'm not believing 1 or 3. Your only image issue is wanting to be seen as helpful and caring. You are externally focused - you didn't go into driving yourself to be the best you can be for the pure sake of being the best.

You want to help people.

2.

guess on a wing is 2w3.
 
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2, 2 or 2. maybe a 2w1 or a 2w3.

I'm not believing 1 or 3. Your only image issue is wanting to be seen as helpful and caring. You are externally focused - you didn't go into driving yourself to be the best you can be for the pure sake of being the best.

You want to help people.

2.

guess on a wing is 2w3.
Thanks for your input! I see your point. Just wondering, why wing 3 over wing 1?
 

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Despite her constant withdrawal from her fellow colleagues, she was as kind as one can get; always with a smile on her face, pleasant and proper. She cared about working hard and doing everything she can in the right way, yet despite her undeniable politeness, it wasn't a coincidence she had such a tall body frame – it was that she could lift up her nose and look at everyone from above. She wasn't arrogant for the sake of it; she was simply a princess, trying to interact with the common folks.
:D

... so I asked the other girl to work on it, and she refused, because it's not her job, despite her literally doing nothing at all and the boss asking us to do so.
:frustrating:

a. A mix of laziness (you're doing nothing at all, can't you do this very simple thing even if I helped you with your work??) and selfishness (it is our job if we're asked to do it, besides it will be so much help to the other girls, to this guy who needs fast medical treatment and me, who will type this if you won’t).
b. See above.
c. I tried to argue, but after I saw it was starting to become a fight I let it go and did it myself.
d. I should've stood up for myself and told her to do her damn job.
e. I don't like fighting, and I figured I'll probably do it better than her anyway.
This seems 3>2 to me a little, more competency focus, more line to 9 than line to 8 - but it's kind of situation that I think a lot of people would act the same way, can't sit around waiting for girl to grow up

Hypothetically I guess I'd try to avoid the subject and feel really embarrassed but it's hard for me to even think about it because I keep no secrets- I think about a deepest secret and nothing comes out. If we're talking about personality flaws that I don't like about myself- I'm willing to admit them and work on them, it's all good.
Again I see a lot of competency influence?

Not the water from the Fountain of Life, for sure. I don't want to live forever while everyone around me dies. I don't want a crown either- I don't want world domination, that's too much responsibility for me. I'd probably choose the last one, because family is one of my most important values and I know the latter will guarantee me happiness and self fulfillment; if there's one thing I know I want in my life, is to have a loving, happy family.
social instinct

For the first- I don't have energy to manage a household, arrange parties, blah blah blah. I don't like to have a large circle of friends and I don't want to live in the big city, too much noise.

Second- designing my house is like a dream, but I want to be a part of a community, and it sucks not having anyone allowed to visit. I do like to have people around for chill events.
social instinct, something 9ish (feel like it's most likely line from 3?)

Third- first of all, I'm very aesthetically minded, so I'm sure I can make this dull house something neat
!

Si :D

Also, no dangers? You got me there! If I can shelter my family from everything bad I'll be happy. Also, I can sell the house and double it in twenty years! That's a great investment.
3ish, 6ish

I don't really know because I'm a pretty understood person, I guess- but I want people to realize that sometimes I do more work because I like it. Sometimes my officer and the doctor I work with don't understand why I'm taking all the work and letting the other girl I work with do nothing. They see the unfairness and to be honest it can be annoying, but most of the times if I'm not keeping myself busy, I'm going to feel useless.
quite 3ish, possibly 9ish

If I see something to do, especially when it my job it's about people's medical treatment who need it as soon as possible, I'm going to make things going, even if it's unfair to me. Besides, I don't like feeling unproductive and sit around all day doing nothing.
3ish I think

I remember one time someone mentioned that I'm a stuck up in front of everyone in full seriousness and I was pretty much caught off guard. I kinda do think I'm a little above everyone. It's like, I'm very nice and helpful but other than my good will, which I do have, some of it comes from feeling superior, like I'm helping the less fortunate. It sounds bad but it's a bit true.

2ish


I'm generally in a great place in my life right now, but I guess last night I was really happy. My boyfriend took me to see a game of his favorite basketball team and it was so wonderful; first, I was with him, and I'm pretty sure he's the love of my life. If he cared enough to take me with him, explain to me all the rules of the game patiently and be appreciative of the fact I came along, he must really love me. Second, I loved the atmosphere! So many people cheering for the same group, wearing the same color and being so passionate about something really made me emotional, in a good way. I liked being a part of it.
social instinct, some 2, 3, 9

Hehe, probably the fact I'm too nice. I'd say thanks so much I'd blubber myself to death, or if we're actually thinking of tragedy, perhaps sacrificing myself for the greater good or my loved ones. Or, actually, overworking myself to death. I tend to take on lots of responsibilities and I'm not always capable.
competency, social

a. This very entitled girl who gets angry at the facts her needs are never met, that is too rigid and controlling she can never have fun, and will never speak ill of you when you're around, but do so behind your back constantly.
2ish or 9ish - have you considered 9 btw?? seems a little off in general but hm, want to say it's the line but idk

b. Someone who's fundamentally good, who's always helpful, diligent and responsible. Not out of a motive or a person gain, simply because they want to do good in this world. To be a ray of sunshine in a dark place.
I think this is 3, 'ray of sunshine in a dark place' and 3s virtue is hope, being guiding light for people

a. I don't really feel alone and lonely ever. If I feel alone and lonely I will find someone to talk to, or entertain myself (I have a colorful mind, I'm never bored with myself!).
Not 2ish I think, maybe 7 fix

b. I ask people for affirmation when I feel doubtful. Consult, ask for opinion, whatever. I feel doubt when I'm pressured, or when I'm not experienced enough and unsure of my abilities.
Competency type

e. I control my temper. I know if I lose it, it can cause conflict and it stresses me out. It interrupts my peace and my relationships with people. However, at times I do lose it when I've had enough.
9ish

As you probably guessed I relate least to sloth. I can't sit still if I know there's work to be done and if I have a relaxed moment I always wait for something to come up so I'll have some stuff to do.
3ish

Though now that I think about it, maybe I relate least to wrath as I repress my anger, never fully express it unless being passive aggressive counts. So there's that.
9ish, 1ish
I think I relate most to pride, because I can be pretty arrogant and annoyingly proud of myself and the good work I do sometimes. I pride myself on many things and perhaps I overestimate myself (though honestly I'll never let anyone know how much I appreciate myself, so shh).
2ish, a bit 3ish



This was my jam on 8th grade. I felt really insecure of myself and quite socially lost but I still maintained excellent grades and acted as if it was all good to avoid confrontation. I really felt like I was putting on a show.
I think this is 3

"… Look here she comes now, bow down and stare in wonder. Oh, how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending…."
I was and am always very appreciated for who I am and I do like it, but sometimes I feel like I'm a phony, that I don't deserve all the praise and back then it was much more dramatic…
I think 3 again

____________

I still think 3w2, see too much competency and I think attachment for 2? 7w6 fix and 9 or 1, so/sp seems right
You seem pretty Je-dom to me and quite Si so I'd lean towards ESFJ
 
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@Nissa Nissa first of all thank you so much! This is really throughout, informative and really helpful.

I see your point about 3w2, and as you know it's a type I've considered for a long time and can relate to (maybe even more so than 2 which has been suggested here, twice), but there are a few things bugging me about the 3 type that I can't really relate to.

If I understand correctly, the 3 needs to excel so they won't feel like a failure, and I'm nothing like that. I like excelling because I love getting positive feedback, and it's something that comes natural for me even if I don't try. But if I don't excel at something, I don't feel like a failure, and I definitely don't do so to cover up my lack of self worth. I know I'm great, a positive feedback is always nice but I can do without it!

Also, 3 SO (And I'm nearly 100% sure I'm an SO/SP) is very about materialistic stuff, owning a nice car, a big house and a high status job which I don't relate to at all... I don't care about all that, all I want from life is doing something I love for a living and have a tight-knit family :)

And for your question about 9, I have considered this before, though for some reason I always preferred 1 over 9, though lately when I started looking through Enneagram again I find that 1 isn't really the type I thought it was and it might be too intense for me, I'm a lot calmer, in a way. I'm sure 1 is somewhere in my tritype but I deal with my anger in a much 9-ish way. My problem with 9 is that it's a bit of the epitome of laziness and I cannot relate to that hahahaha.

Regarding MBTI... My only problem is that even though I'm quite the Je dom, I'm socially introverted, and for a Fe dominant type that's a bit odd.... And that keeps me confused haha.
 

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If I understand correctly, the 3 needs to excel so they won't feel like a failure, and I'm nothing like that. I like excelling because I love getting positive feedback, and it's something that comes natural for me even if I don't try. But if I don't excel at something, I don't feel like a failure, and I definitely don't do so to cover up my lack of self worth. I know I'm great, a positive feedback is always nice but I can do without it!
.
That is so 2.
You misunderstand 3. A 3 wants to be SEEN as successful, and especially competent. You don't really care about that.

You want to be valued and appreciated for what you do for others. This is 2. Llke, the definition of 2.

Have you started figuring out you are a unique and special person, and have you started becoming comfortable with being that?

When a loved one is attacked, can you turn into the vicious she bear protector, and after the incident is over, do you collapse and go cry quietly and recharge by yourself?
 
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That is so 2.
You misunderstand 3. A 3 wants to be SEEN as successful, and especially competent. You don't really care about that.

You want to be valued and appreciated for what you do for others. This is 2. Llke, the definition of 2.

Have you started figuring out you are a unique and special person, and have you started becoming comfortable with being that?

When a loved one is attacked, can you turn into the vicious she bear protector, and after the incident is over, do you collapse and go cry quietly and recharge by yourself?
Yeah, once I realized that I started thinking I might be a 2 over a 3.

I know it sounds kinda arrogant but yeah, I do think of myself as different (though it's mostly because other people told me I am) and I'm in peace with it.

I can be that, though if I try to recall an incident like that i come out with blank. Honestly, i think i kinda have a hard time standing up even for my loved ones. I may do it but not as protectively, I'd probably do it calmly to avoid disrupting external harmony.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
What drives me away from being a 2 is the fact I don't feel relationship focused, nor people focused. I very much live in my own world, I don't care about being popular or anything like that. 2 might be a strong fix.

I've read about 9 having trouble with identity, could it be the reason I keep switching between types is because of a 9 core?
 

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Hi @Adena , nice to see you again! :kitteh:
(I think you remember me as Amaranthine)

I'd say 3w2, or maybe 1 or 9w1.
I don't think I can see 2, much more competency-ish and I don't think you have a line to 8.

Not completely sure about 3 either but I don't think it always has to be status obsessed and such...
Like here is Chestnut's sp 3 description (I don't think being So first means you have to fit So description necessarily, feel like it depends on more things)
Or like there's a subwing thing (that no one but me cares about :unsure: ) and 3w2(sw2w1) says something like "If I achieve a win win for everyone involved, I will be worthy of love"
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagram-personality-theory-forum/598490-subwings-valid-part-enneagram-theory.html
(not sure what win win is supposed to mean tbh but I think the point is that 3 can be focused on helping and doing things for others)
 

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Hi @Adena , nice to see you again! :kitteh:
(I think you remember me as Amaranthine)

I'd say 3w2, or maybe 1 or 9w1.
I don't think I can see 2, much more competency-ish and I don't think you have a line to 8.

Not completely sure about 3 either but I don't think it always has to be status obsessed and such...
Like here is Chestnut's sp 3 description (I don't think being So first means you have to fit So description necessarily, feel like it depends on more things)
Or like there's a subwing thing (that no one but me cares about :unsure: ) and 3w2(sw2w1) says something like "If I achieve a win win for everyone involved, I will be worthy of love"
http://personalitycafe.com/enneagram-personality-theory-forum/598490-subwings-valid-part-enneagram-theory.html
(not sure what win win is supposed to mean tbh but I think the point is that 3 can be focused on helping and doing things for others)
Oh hi! I love how I come back and everyone has a different username :D how you've been?

Hmm, perhaps... the SP 3 sounds more like me, if it makes sense... but I really began thinking about 9w1, which has a connection with 3 and can resemble a 2. I also have a trouble with conflict and such and I think me going back and forth might be indecisiveness and lack of confidence in my opinion/identity? My aspiration for life is a lot more 9ish than 3ish.
 

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Oh hi! I love how I come back and everyone has a different username :D how you've been?
Lately I've been very busy and I'm definitely not as used to being busy as you are haha
So sorry for taking a few days to respond!

Hmm, perhaps... the SP 3 sounds more like me, if it makes sense... but I really began thinking about 9w1, which has a connection with 3 and can resemble a 2. I also have a trouble with conflict and such and I think me going back and forth might be indecisiveness and lack of confidence in my opinion/identity? My aspiration for life is a lot more 9ish than 3ish.
Hm...
I am not sure about 9 and indecisiveness when it comes to type, I think it shows some 9 influence possibly but maybe not necessarily core.
But I could see social 9w1 with a good line to 3 for you, it's not necessarily a lazy type, I know 9's who are hardworking and like to keep busy.
I can't say it entirely clicks though :unsure: , but I would say you seem a bit more gut type than heart type to me.

And I think ESFJ, especially if you aren't a super extroverted enneagram type, think Je dom is right.

Hope someone else has more input, I'll be following this thread and I'll let you know if I have any new thoughts :bee:
 

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And for your question about 9, I have considered this before, though for some reason I always preferred 1 over 9, though lately when I started looking through Enneagram again I find that 1 isn't really the type I thought it was and it might be too intense for me, I'm a lot calmer, in a way. I'm sure 1 is somewhere in my tritype but I deal with my anger in a much 9-ish way. My problem with 9 is that it's a bit of the epitome of laziness and I cannot relate to that hahahaha.
Well, 9 isn't necessarily about being lazy in the literal sense, though if you don't identify with laziness at all, that might make 9 less likely.
 
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